Asylum

by Lily White

  “Where are we, Alex?”

  Shooting up from the bed, I opened my eyes wide to see Jeremy standing by one of the windows.

  “Don’t you know?” I asked.

  “No. I can’t see what you see. You’re just imagining that I can because you can hear what I’m saying.” He spoke without an ounce of humor in his tone and I believed that he was speaking the truth.

  “We’re at my aunt’s house. I’m in my new bedroom. It’s green.”

  He laughed. “Well, then it makes sense that you returned here. Are you feeling comfortable enough to proceed?”

  What was I feeling? Only then did it register that, although I was physically crying in whatever illusion this was, I wasn’t feeling the emotions that should have been suffocating during that time of my life. “I feel fine.”

  “Good. I want you to let your thoughts run a natural course, Alex. Take me through whatever you can remember.”

  Closing my eyes, I fell back against the mattress and drifted off to another place.

  My hands brushed over damp blades of grass and I could hear laughter pouring from my lungs. The sun was warm on my skin and I sat up to find myself in the center of a large grass field, my tiny body swallowed by the expansive sea of green.

  “Stop it, Bobby. Someone will see.” He was behind me, his arms wrapped around my body and his lips tickling me where they brushed across my neck.

  “I can’t help myself, Alex, you smell so fucking good.” Nipping at my ear, he laughed when I shivered against him.

  “Is that why you bring me out here, because you want to do bad things to me?” I purred out my question, gasping when his response was a quick flick of his tongue against the lobe of my ear.

  “It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been together, babe. All I want is my girl back. We’ve only been together a few times since everything happened.”

  An odd emotion filtered through me; pain mixed with something else I couldn’t quite identify. “You know I’ve had problems, Bobby. I can’t…”

  “I know. You’ve told me. Your aunt has told me…everybody knows, but I don’t understand how your memory problems have anything to do with us. They’re obviously not that bad. You remember me…”

  Another bite on my ear and I gasped out a breath. My body was responding to him even though my mind told me that something was terribly wrong. I hadn’t always felt this way towards him, but only a few months since my parents’ death and suddenly I felt uncomfortable when we were together. Very rarely was I alone with him and even in the instances where I was, I felt like somebody else was always there.

  Grabbing me by the shoulders, he forced my body down to the ground and crawled on top of me until he was straddling my abdomen. He looked down at me with eyes as green as the field in which we sat.

  “Please, Alex, we need to connect like this or it could ruin everything we have.”

  There. It was statements like the one he’d just made that caused me to feel uncomfortable. I felt like it was an ultimatum: Put out or get out. But I’d never noticed it before. Anger shot through me and I tried to push him off me.

  “I don’t want to do this, Bobby. Not here where anybody can see…”

  “Alex. Are you okay?” Jeremy’s voice sounded out of nowhere and the anger I’d been feeling at that moment dissipated so suddenly, it took my breath with it. Turning my head to the side, I saw him standing near a tree that stood only a few feet from where Bobby and I were sitting.

  “I think so.” I answered when I could finally breathe again.

  “Your pulse is elevated and you were breathing rapidly. Where are you?”

  “In a field with Bobby.”

  “Can you continue?” His voice sounded like it came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Even though I could see him standing in the distance, it sounded like he was all around me.

  “Yes.”

  After I voiced my response, he was gone and time picked up once again.

  “Come on, baby. I need to feel you.”

  His hands were all over me, pushing up the hem of my skirt so that my thighs were exposed to the cool air. Shifting his body down, he sat on my legs to lift my skirt up and over my torso. His head moved down so he could kiss along the inside of my thighs. I moaned, not able to control the desire that was flowing through me. Even then, there was still a bit of unease gripping me inside.

  “Bobby…”

  “Shhhh, I know what you like.”

  Flicking my panties aside, he slipped his fingers between the slick skin, rubbing my clit and chuckling when my hips started to move on their own.

  I needed out of this, needed to be as far away from this place as possible. Desperate to escape the memory, I begged, “Pull me out of this, Doc,” Speaking into the wind, I hoped like hell that Jeremy would hear me. There was no response, nothing but the whispering of the breeze through the tree branches above me. Panic set in when I realized I was alone.

  I didn’t want to be here, to be doing this. My body was begging for more, but my brain was screaming to make Bobby stop. He was so much larger than me. I was overpowered and crushed to the ground, helpless to whatever he wanted to do.

  Why couldn’t I say no to him? What was preventing me from screaming for help or calling so much attention to us that he couldn’t possibly keep going?”

  “My aunt expects me home in a couple minutes…”

  “Shut up, Alex.” Holding one hand over my mouth, he used the other to free his swollen cock from his pants. Stroking the shaft up and down, he looked at me with heat rolling behind his eyes. “I know you like it rough baby, just be quiet and take it like a good girl.”

  Placing his knees between mine, he spread his legs, opening mine wide so that I was exposed to him. The head of his cock was rubbing up against my core and my head rolled from side to side over the grass where we were laying. His messy brown hair hung around his face and when he smiled, dimples appeared on his cheeks. I loved him, I knew that, but I wasn’t sure I wanted the type of relationship I’d had with him up to that point. I didn’t want to be just a good fuck. I wanted to be loved and cherished, beautiful in his eyes regardless of whether of was dressed up like a sex kitten or not. It was all image to Bobby and I was the lovesick trophy that didn’t know better.

  He pushed inside me and it forced the breath in my lungs to leave my mouth on a loud gust. My body arched at the sensation and my legs squeezed together around his body. Allowing my head to fall to the side, I jumped when I realized that we weren’t alone.

  “Bobby…” I tried to tell him that we were being watched, tried to move my body to prevent him from continuing to fuck me. He reached over to silence me again and I was rendered mute by the palm of his hand.

  My eyes opened wide and I watched a stranger in the distance. He wore a dark sweatshirt, the hood pulled up and over his head, the shadow it caused completely obscuring his face and eyes. He was tall with broad shoulders and he kept his hands in his pockets as he stared at us from across the field. I was frightened of him, frightened of how intently he watched me being fucked out in the open.

  Bobby’s thick cock moved inside of me, stretching me in places that added pain to the pleasure he was stirring in my body. I moaned loudly, moving my hips in time with his thrusts. My shoulders and torso moved over the ground with every move he made. God it felt so good, but something else was making it better. I felt fear for so many things: fear to be seen out in the open, fear of who was watching us, fear of what I meant to the man who was forcing himself in and out of my body.

  I felt helpless and it turned me on even more. I couldn’t pull my eyes from the stranger in the distance as waves of my impending orgasm crashed through me, pushing me higher and faster towards my release. The stranger didn’t move an inch and he never looked away. While he watched Bobby and me having sex, I stared back at him with unblinking eyes.

  When my body had been pushed to the highest peak, I spilled over and came so hard that I could
n’t help but close my eyes.

  Grabbing my cheeks in his hand, Bobby turned my face towards him, leaning down to kiss me as he pumped harder in and out. I knew when he was about to climax, his body moving even faster, his hands moving to my breasts, squeezing them until they ached. Pulling his cock out quickly, he reached his climax, sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin of my neck as he came.

  I cried out, but turned my head again and felt a bizarre disappointment to find that the stranger was gone.

  Chapter Ten

  Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.

  - Sigmund Freud

  “Alex? Alex can you hear me?”

  My body shook back and forth and I knew that someone was standing above me. I felt lost and tingly, floating in a space between reality and illusion, between the present and the dreams I had of the past. His voice was breathless and worried. I opened my eyes to see him staring down at me with his brows pulled together in concern.

  My mind started to recall where I was; the green chair, rug and curtain becoming the image that appeared out of nowhere when I opened my eyes. My body felt sated and I writhed in place, not yet ready to let go of the euphoria of the orgasm that still crashed in waves through my body.

  A hand was on my cheek and I leaned against it, spreading my lips and flicking my tongue out to taste the salt on his skin.

  “Ms. Sutton…” The words were whispered and I groaned when he pulled his hand from my face. Reality came rushing forward and I startled, pushing up to sit on the lounge, my eyes opened wide to see Jeremy standing in front of me, his glasses removed and his chest heaving in time with mine. Shaking his head, he stepped away from where I sat, taking a seat in the chair across the small space and picking up his notepad and pen. He didn’t look at me or talk as he retrieved his glasses from the table that sat between us.

  Seconds passed in silence, but after he gained control over whatever it was inside him. He finally looked up and I didn’t recognize the odd expression on his face. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?” He cleared his throat and I noticed how he was still breathing hard and fast.

  Lying back against the pillow, I didn’t want to be in such a helpless position, but I was too tired and sluggish to keep my body upright. Catching my own breath, I answered, “I’m …”

  I didn’t know how I was. I couldn’t place what had just happened or why my body felt so loose and lethargic. I was damp between my legs and the sensation made me uncomfortable. “What happened, Doc?”

  “You had another telling memory, Ms. Sutton. Do you have any recollection of it at all?” He looked up from his notes and studied me as he waited for my response. His eyelids were lowered and the red heat of his body was apparent in the color of his cheeks. Blinking my eyes, I tried to bring him into focus because I wasn’t sure what I was seeing could be true.

  Jogging my thoughts, I tried to remember what had happened and what I’d seen, but only the image of a hooded stranger was clear in my mind.

  “There was a man, I think. He wore a hooded sweatshirt, but I couldn’t see his face.” Chills ran along my spine and I opened my mouth to admit, “He scared me.”

  “You mentioned that, but I’m not concerned about a stranger in a field. What do you remember doing in that field? Who were you with?”

  Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine what he could be talking about. There was nothing there. All I could see was the shadowed face of a man I knew was dangerous, a man I knew was watching me for more than just entertainment.

  “I don’t know.”

  Sitting back in his chair, he ran his hands through his hair and I recognized that he was frustrated. I wanted to tell him more and I wished I could speak the words he wanted to hear, but I was drawing a blank. My body was still tense from whatever had happened. I blamed the drugs. There was no other reasonable explanation.

  Several tense moments passed before he finally stood up and reached out his hand to help me up from the lounge. “You’re done for today, Ms. Sutton. I’ll have Terrie escort you back to a room to sleep off the rest of the medication. After that, you’ll be taken to the rec room. By now, I’m sure you are familiar with the routine.

  Glancing up at him, I accepted his hand, but pulled away again when I noticed that he was disheveled. His hair was ruffled and looked like he’d just crawled out of bed. His t-shirt that had been been tucked neatly into his pants was now untucked in places and hanging over the leather of his belt.

  “Everything okay, Doc? You look a bit…messy.” Motioning towards his clothes, I peered up at him completely oblivious as to why he wasn’t his usual put together self.

  Staring at me with a blank expression, he took his time formulating a response. I wasn’t surprised it was the typical answer he gave, the kind that told me absolutely nothing. “Your session was a bit traumatic for you. Pulling you out of your memory wasn’t easy. Let’s go, Ms. Sutton. We’re done here for the day.”

  . . .

  Waking up in my room hours later, I stretched my arms out above my head and sat up in bed. The halls outside my door were silent, but there was an air of unease that still wrapped itself tightly around my shoulders. It weighed my body down with the typical confusion that comes with the condition I have.

  I had no other option but to wait for what in my cage, trapped within a crushing stillness that kept me apprehensive about when that door would open.

  Footsteps thudded down the hall and fear caused me to say silent prayers that it was Terrie that approached my door. Light flashed from the window as someone passed by, but that window was soon filled with the face of a man I’d hoped wouldn’t be the person to retrieve me from my room.

  “Mornin’ sunshine.”

  Flinching at the sound, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the beady eyes that stared into my room. I couldn’t see his lips, but I knew he wore a malicious smile.

  “Well aren’t you going to say hi?” A dark and depraved chuckle left his lungs before he added, “I know I’m your favorite.”

  The metal lock of the door clicked and the hinges screeched as the weight of the door was forced open. Once inside the room, he kicked back with his foot to close the door behind him. With one hand locked on his crotch, Joe approached me, his tongue sticking out from between his lips and his eyes narrowing with the evil intent in his thoughts.

  “’Bout fucking time I get you alone. I was so worried that Emerson or that new fucking doctor would get to you first.”

  I tried to scream but he was too fast. His body shot across the room, his large hand wrapping tightly around my mouth before any trace of my terror could escape my lungs. My instincts told me to bite down, to tear his flesh with my teeth until he had no choice but to let me go. However, knowledge won out over instinct and I realized before I moved to defend myself that doing so would only lead to the room where they would help me ‘forget.’

  “That’s a good girl.” His mouth brushed my ear as he growled out his satisfaction with my instant compliance. “Seems we don’t need to drug you to take what we want after all. You’re smart enough to stay quiet and avoid the shock, aren’t you?” He crooned in a sickening voice that sent chills whispering down my spine.

  “I don’t want anybody knowing how we feel about each other, so we’re going to do this nice and quiet, understand? I want you to stand in the corner of the room with your hands on the wall. Say one fucking word and you won’t know your own name by the time I’m done with you.”

  Nodding my head, I waited for him to accept the unspoken agreement and release me. I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t stand the expression on his face that I knew would be filled with lust and punishment. Tears began to well in my eyes, but I forced them back, only allowing one to slip down my cheek before I’d curbed the emotion. My stomach was in knots and I felt sick, but what was most noticeable was the ache and soreness I felt between my legs when I moved. I hadn’t noticed it when leaving therapy that morning, however the drugs had been enough t
o keep me numb until they’d worn off to reveal aches and pains I hadn’t known in a long time.

  Confusion saddled my thoughts as I approached the corner of the room to lift my hands and press them against the cool, white plaster. The dampness between my legs was cold, not heated in wait of Joe’s touch, but the remnants of something previous, something of which I was somehow unaware. I found it odd that my thoughts would drift back to the doctor when it was Joe’s hands that were about to violate every part of me.

  His heavy breathing echoed against the walls. Sick and slimy, each breath readied him for a moment he’d been waiting for since I’d arrived at this place. There wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t feel his caustic gaze chill my skin, when I couldn’t intuit the violent and grotesque acts he imagined committing against me. He’d already taken the rest of the women trapped here, but until now, he’d never had the opportunity to take me.

  With boots thudding heavy against the floor, he approached me. When they’d stopped, it was his hands that kept moving, up and down my body, his fingers brushing the sides of my breasts and his disgusting breath heating the skin of my neck and shoulder.

  “Oh, it’s about time. You know I’ve been wanting this, but I had to make you jealous first.” His fingers reached between my legs, roughly pressing up. My short fingernails scratched into the cement wall in response.

  “I know you hated hearing me pleasing the other ladies, didn’t you?” He laughed and it came out as a depraved chortle. “You’re such a dirty little freak.”

  I pressed my forehead against the cool wall, my eyes opened wide and staring down at my bare feet on the floor. The thought of him touching me made me want to retch, but that would be too much noise, and then…

  Slipping his fingers into the waistband of my pants, his breathing became even more sporadic and rough. I could feel his body shake with anticipation against mine and I held my breath waiting for when his thick fingers slipped inside my body.