Blessed

by S. J. West

  If I wasn’t so in love with Brand, I could easily see myself falling for Malcolm. Who wouldn’t be seduced by his model good looks and gentle nature, at least with me? He had always treated me like I was dear to him and never shied away from letting me know how much he adored me. But, I was hopelessly in love with Brand and not even Malcolm’s charms could change that fact.

  “Malcolm, I …”

  “No, don’t say it,” he said, as if he knew I was going to remind him that I loved Brand. “I know.” His hand left my face and returned to his side. “Just let me fantasize for moment that this is our house and that you love me more than you do him.”

  I didn’t know what to say. My heart ached for my friend. I wanted to comfort him with words but knew there weren’t any which would erase his yearning for me to return his feelings. I put my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. It was all I could give him.

  He held me close for a long while not saying a word before finally letting me go.

  When we returned to Malcolm’s house, he talked me into playing a game of chess on the veranda. Abby and Sebastian were still playing croquet in the backyard; though, from what I gathered from their banter, it was their second game of croquet. Apparently, Abby was true to her word and won the first game without much effort.

  Almost an hour after he left, Brand strolled out of the backdoor from the kitchen onto the veranda. I immediately jumped out of my seat quickly forgetting about the move I was about to make against Malcolm which would put me within three moves of winning the game and threw myself into Brand’s arms.

  “I really wish you wouldn’t do things like that to me,” I admonished him hugging him so tight I felt sure I was cutting off the circulation below his waist.

  “I’m sorry,” he said hugging me back.

  “Did you find the slimy bastard?” Malcolm asked coming to stand beside me.

  “No,” Brand replied, clearly disappointed and frustrated. “He had someone helping him hide his trail. I guess he learned a few tricks from Justin.”

  Brand looked down at me. “What exactly did Robert say to you?”

  I told Brand what I could remember about my conversation with Robert.

  “What do you think he meant?” I asked. “What could he be planning that makes him think I would beg him to kill me?”

  “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t put anything past Robert.” Brand looked to Malcolm. “Do you have any idea what he could be orchestrating?”

  Malcolm shrugged. “It’s hard to know. Robert’s a sadist. I wouldn’t put anything past him.”

  Brand looked back down at me with a grave expression on his face. “Promise me the next time you even think you see someone who looks like Robert, you’ll phase somewhere safe. It was foolish of you to stay there and talk with him.”

  I pulled away from Brand. If there was one thing I hated, it was being talked down to.

  “If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t know he was planning something,” I pointed out trying to keep my temper under control.

  “You put yourself in danger unnecessarily, Lilly,” Brand said not trying to hide his frustration with me. “Nothing is more important than your safety. It was stupid to stand there and have a conversation with someone who tried to rape you the last time you saw him!”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Malcolm staring hard at Brand, shaking his head.

  “Well if I’m so stupid, maybe you should stay away from me. I would hate for it to rub off on your genius.”

  I was standing at the foot of my bed in my apartment before I knew it. Had he actually had the audacity to stand there and call me foolish and stupid in the same conversation?

  Brand phased in almost on top of me causing me to fall back onto my bed with him falling beside me. He rolled over and pinned me to the bed. I guess he thought that would make me stay put.

  “Lilly, I…”

  I phased to his bed back home and quickly stood up before he could follow. I ran to his paint studio and immediately phased to the street in New York we’d gone to earlier in the day. I hoped he would spend some time trying to find me in his house before figuring out I had simply gone to another room to phase from. I put my arm out and hailed a taxi. A cab instantly came to my aid and whisked me away before Brand could follow, leaving a cold trail for him to find.

  “Where to Miss?” the cab driver asked.

  I had no idea where I would go in New York, but it really didn’t matter. I just needed to go somewhere and phase so Brand couldn’t simply follow me. I knew where I wanted to end up but I didn’t want Brand tracking me there.

  “Just take me another three blocks,” I told the cab driver. Since I only had a twenty dollar bill in my back pocket, I didn’t want to spend it all on a cab ride to nowhere.

  When I got out of the cab, I phased to Utha Mae’s trailer. I knocked on the door and called to her. She immediately opened the door.

  “Well this is a pleasant surprise,” she said holding the door open for me.

  I walked into her trailer.

  “I needed to see you,” I told her, trying to keep myself from crying.

  “Come and sit with me, child. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  We sat down on her brown suede like sofa, and I couldn’t prevent the tears which were flowing freely now.

  “Brand and I had a fight,” I said wiping the tears from my eyes, refusing to get too upset in front of her.

  “What about, baby?”

  I regretted not being able to tell Utha Mae everything. I said as much as I could without bringing her into my troubles.

  “He’s upset with me because I talked with someone dangerous to get some information we needed. He called me foolish and stupid. Can you believe that?” I snorted.

  “Well,” Utha Mae sat back on the sofa watching me, “was he right?”

  “What? That I was foolish and stupid?” Was she actually going to take his side?

  “Was the person you talked with a danger to you?”

  I shrugged. “I suppose he was, but that doesn’t give Brand the right to call me those things.”

  “I’m not saying he was right, baby, but you need to consider his feelings. I’m sure he doesn’t really believe you’re either of those things. He wouldn’t want to marry you if he did. You probably just scared him silly and he was lashing out in the wrong way and to the wrong person.”

  “Well, he needs to learn I won’t just stand around and be talked to like that.”

  “Which is why you’re here?”

  “Yeah,” I said feeling a little guilty for using Utha Mae’s home as a safe haven. “I’m not sure he’d think to look for me here.”

  “Well, it’s always good to let a man know where you stand. Since you’re here, why don’t you help me make us some supper? I think your mom went out with someone or I’d tell you to go get her too.”

  I was at Utha Mae’s for almost two hours before the phone rang. When she answered it, I knew it was Brand on the other end of the line.

  “Yes, she’s here, hon. Do you want to talk with her?”

  Utha Mae handed me the phone basically forcing me to stop hiding and handle the situation like an adult.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Come home,” he begged. “I’m so sorry, Lilly. Please, come home.”

  The heartbroken way he made his request tore down my resolve to stay mad at him. It seemed like love made you strong against certain situations but completely weak when it came to the one you were in love with.

  “Can you come get me?” I asked. “I don’t have my car here.”

  Utha Mae had already asked me how I got to her house since she didn’t see my car parked outside. I had to concoct a lie and told her I hired a taxi service in Lakewood to get to her home because I didn’t have my car with me at the time of my fight with Brand.

  “You know I’ll have to actually drive there,” Brand said slightly frustrated that our reconciliation would not be happening immediately,
knowing just showing up at Utha Mae’s would cause her to ask too many questions.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I promised him. “I’ll be here waiting.”

  “Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  I hung up the phone.

  “So, are you going to forgive him?” Utha Mae asked me.

  “I already have,” I sighed. “I love him too much to stay mad at him, especially when he sounds so pitiful.”

  “Good. I like knowing you’re in love with a good man. I just wish Tara would find someone I felt comfortable leaving her with.”

  “Leaving?” I asked, taken completely off guard. “Are you going somewhere?”

  “We’re all going somewhere eventually, baby. My time is coming,” Utha Mae said putting a hand to her chest. “I would feel better if I knew Tara had someone to share her life with who loved her as much as Brand loves you.”

  “Don’t talk like that,” I told her. “You’re going to be with us for a long time.”

  The sad smile on Utha Mae’s face worried me. “Only the good Lord knows when he’ll be calling me home. None of us can predict when our time will come, baby, but I do know that I’m getting old. I don’t feel like I have much longer to wait.”

  I didn’t push the issue and attempt to convince Utha Mae she had to live at least another twenty years. But who knew what would happen. For all I knew, I myself might only have two more months to live.

  “Utha Mae,” I sat down with her at the kitchen table. “Can I ask you something?”

  “You know you can ask me anything, baby.”

  “Would you think less of me if I married Brand now instead of waiting until I got out of college?”

  Utha Mae looked confused. “What difference would it make when you married him?”

  “It doesn’t I guess.” I desperately wanted to tell her why I was thinking about moving up the wedding but knew I couldn’t. “It’s just that I never wanted to end up like my mom. The only thing most people know about her is that she dates a lot of men. I don’t want to be known just for being married to Brand.”

  “Child, you’ll be known for the deeds you do in your life. Whether you marry him now or in four more years doesn’t really make a difference in the scheme of things. But I will say that I probably wouldn’t be so willing to let you marry him if he wasn’t able to provide for you so well. He can take care of you, and he seems mature enough to be someone you can lean on. He’ll support you in more ways than just with his money. And he loves you more than I’ve ever seen a man love a woman. Well, at least as much as my Harry loved me anyway. You know,” Utha Mae had a wistful expression on her face, “we married when we were eighteen.”

  Harry had been Utha Mae’s husband. He died from a stroke when Tara and I were only two years old so we had no memory of him, but Utha Mae had stayed true to him all these years. She never even looked at another man. A lot of the single men from her church had tried to take her out but she always refused their attentions saying her heart would always belong to Harry. Even though he was in heaven, Utha Mae didn’t feel any less married to him. She was just waiting for her time to join him in paradise.

  “He’s willing to wait until I graduate,” I told her, “but the more we’re together the less I want to wait that long.”

  “Well baby, only the two of you can make the decision, but you have my blessing to marry him whenever you want. As long as you don’t have any doubts about spending the rest of your life with him, I don’t see any reason for you to wait. You let me know when you want to have that wedding though,” Utha Mae said. “I’d like to help with the expenses.”

  “It’ll just be something small. I don’t have many people to invite.”

  “Just let me know, baby,” she said patting my hands resting on the table. “I wouldn’t mind having a few of my friends there to watch you walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress.”

  “I’ll let you know what I decide. I’m still thinking about it.”

  Brand drove up to Utha Mae’s trailer almost thirty-five minutes later. I knew he must have cheated a little since it normally took an hour to drive from Lakewood to Dalton. Utha Mae didn’t comment on his fast arrival. She probably assumed he sped all the way from Lakewood in his eagerness to see me.

  “Now you take it slow going back,” she told him wagging a finger at him.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Brand said opening the passenger door to his car for me to get in. After he closed the door, I waved goodbye to Utha Mae.

  We didn’t say anything to each other. When we got on the highway heading toward Lakewood, Brand phased us to his driveway and parked in front of his house within a few seconds.

  He phased us to his living room couch before I knew it.

  “Can you forgive me?” He asked, taking my hands in his.

  “I already have,” I reassured him. “But you have to promise that you’ll never call me foolish or stupid again. I won’t put up with that sort of abuse.”

  Brand winced at my use of the word. I was sure even he knew you could abuse a person just as much with words as you could with actual physical harm.

  “I promise to never let those words pass my lips again when referring to you. I was just mad about letting Robert get away from me and took it out on you. I know it was wrong of me and you have to know I didn’t really mean what I said. I can only beg you to forgive me for acting like a complete idiot. I let my worry for you overshadow everything sometimes, including my common sense. When you do things that put your life in danger, like talk to Robert or even what you did this morning with Mr. Landry, it makes me crazy. I don’t want you to take unnecessary chances with your life.”

  “But if I hadn’t taken those chances we wouldn’t have the new information about my mother or know that Robert is conjuring up some convoluted plan. I know you worry about me but you need to trust me. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. If you haven’t noticed, I’m fighting for my life as hard as you’re fighting to keep me alive.”

  “I know.”

  Brand looked so remorseful for what he had done I couldn’t stand to see him continue to punish himself for something he’d already been forgiven.

  “Why don’t we just forget about everything for now and try to enjoy the rest of the night?” I said pulling him to me.

  He held me to him. I could feel him start to relax, finally realizing that I had indeed forgiven him his transgressions.

  Chapter 15

  I think Brand was still feeling guilty the next morning because he brought me breakfast in bed when I woke up. Carefully arranged on a beautiful wood carved serving tray was a crystal bowl filled with some of the largest and reddest strawberries I have ever seen with a smaller bowl of whipped cream beside it. There was a plate full of freshly baked croissant rolls on a crystal plate with a single red rose in full bloom lying across it. It occurred to me that it was the first flower Brand had ever given me. I picked it up and held it to my nose breathing in its sweet aroma.

  “Where did you get it?” I asked letting the silky petals tickle the tip of my nose.

  “It’s not fall everywhere in the world,” he reminded me with a crooked smile as he leaned down and gave me a kiss. “Now sit back,” he half ordered, half teased sitting on the side of the bed.

  When he picked up one of the strawberries and dipped it in the whip cream, I realized he intended to feed it to me. As he brought the strawberry to my lips, I opened my mouth and bit down through the middle of it feeling the sweet juices of the firm, ripe fruit and smooth texture of the cream mix in my mouth.

  Some of the cream and juice clung to my lips. I was about to wipe my mouth with the napkin on the tray when Brand said, “You won’t need that.”

  He leaned towards me bringing his lips down to mine and slowly kissed away all traces of the cream and juice from my mouth. It was then strawberries and fresh whipped cream became my favorite things to eat, forever replacing pizza at the top of my list. I moved the tray down a little from over my
lap and sat with my legs folded underneath me.

  “Is something wrong?” Brand asked, not understanding what I was doing.

  “No,” I said, picking up a strawberry and dipping it in the cream. “You need to eat breakfast too.”

  A pleased grin spread across his face as I brought the strawberry to his lips.

  I’m not sure how long we sat there feeding each other strawberries, but I do know it was one of the most romantic and intimate moments of my life.

  After breakfast, I phased back to my apartment to shower and change clothes. Tara was sitting in the living room watching a movie on TV.

  “Hey girl,” she said as I sat down beside her. “How did things go yesterday?”

  I filled Tara in on everything which happened the previous day. She seemed to agree with Brand in thinking I was foolish to put my life in danger twice in one day.

  “You need to be more careful,” she scolded. “You’re half human you know. You ain’t immortal just because you got some angel blood running through your veins.”

  “I know that, but you can’t argue that what I did wasn’t useful.”

  “I don’t care, Lilly Rayne Nightingale. You let the angels take the chances. They can survive flying bullets, you can’t. And what the heck were you thinking talking to that Robert? You need to keep away from him. He ain’t nothing but a bag full of trouble.”

  I didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I changed the subject.

  “How did your day with Malik go?”

  “We had fun.”

  I waited for her to say more but she didn’t. “That’s all I get? No details?”

  Tara shrugged. “We rode around and I showed him where things were. He took me to lunch at Chili’s and we went and saw a movie. That’s about all there is to tell. We had fun though. I liked talking to him. We’re going out again today. He said he wanted to see the college so I thought I’d take him around campus and show him where I work and stuff, nothing major.”

  “Well, I’m glad you get along with him. From what I know, Malik’s going to be in our lives for a very long time.”