Zero Control

by Wilde, Lori

  “And it worked,” Sam pointed out.

  “What?” Stunned by what they’d just admitted, Roxie could only stare.

  “You had an affair with him.” Jess jerked her head toward Dougal.

  “I don’t get it.” Roxie felt lost. “Porter sent me here to gather insider information on Eros.”

  “That’s just what he told you,” Sam said. “In actuality, he was using you as a pawn.”

  “Wait.” Dougal sank his hands on his hips. “Now I’m confused. What exactly is Porter Langley up to?”

  “Here’s how he explained it to us,” Jess put in. “He wanted to create a scandal for Eros. His plan was to send Roxie on the Romance of Britannia tour as a corporate spy. His real play was to capitalize on her inexperience in romantic relationships and use it to bring down Taylor Corben.”

  “To that end—” Sam picked up the story “—he hired us. We’re private investigators, specializing in tempting cheating husbands to make passes at us so their wives have grounds for divorce.”

  “That’s entrapment,” Dougal growled.

  Jess shrugged. “We make a very good living.”

  “Actually,” Sam said, “that’s how we met Porter. He tried to pick us up for a threesome.”

  Roxie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “But why would you do this to me?”

  “To get proof that Eros employees are having sex with the guests.”

  Roxie’s breath fled her lungs. “What? And how were you going to prove this?”

  “We’re very good at our jobs,” Jess said. “You should be careful what you do in semipublic places.” She shook her head. “And telephoto lenses are quite the modern miracle.”

  Roxie felt as if she’d been kicked in the gut. “You…you have pictures?”

  “Yes, and we already posted them to our Web site,” Sam confirmed.

  Roxie’s head swirled. Her boss had used her, and these women who she’d thought were her friends had betrayed her. The enormity of what had happened washed over Roxie. Not only had her stupidity got her into trouble, but she’d put Dougal’s job in jeopardy, as well. “But I trusted you.”

  “That was your first mistake.” Sam held up her palms.

  “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Dougal snarled and fisted his hands.

  “No,” Jess countered, “you should be ashamed of yourself. Having sex with a guest.” She clicked her tongue. “You broke the rules, Dougal, and now you’re going to have to deal with the consequences.”

  NO WORDS COULD DESCRIBE the savage despair churning inside him.

  He was angry, yes. Worried, most assuredly. But even though those emotions were strong, they weren’t primary. No, the main sensation raging inside him was the urge to protect Roxie at all costs.

  One look at her face told him the whole story. She was hurt beyond measure. Questioning herself, doubting her ability to read people. He knew what she was feeling, because he’d been there. He’d felt her pain.

  “Roxie.” He called her name without knowing what else he was going to say. He reached for her, but she was in no state of mind to turn to him. With jerky movements she stepped back, arms raised.

  “Roxie,” he called.

  “Leave me alone. Please, just leave me alone.” She ducked her head and ran away, her bare feet pattering against the tiles.

  Glaring, he turned to Jess and Sam. “Are you proud of yourselves? You’ve hurt one of the finest women I’ve ever known.”

  “Hey,” Jess said, “we were only doing a job. It was nothing personal.”

  “Destroying someone is always personal,” he growled. “Her career will be ruined, her reputation in shambles.”

  Sam defiantly lifted her chin. “In that case, you should accept responsibility for your role in Roxie’s downfall.”

  Her words sliced him clean through the bone. She was right. If he’d been a stronger man, more in control of his desires, this never would have happened. He’d failed Roxie and he’d failed himself.

  FEELING HUMILIATED OVER the knowledge that her tryst had been caught on camera and that her boss had hired Jess and Sam to manufacture a romance between her and Dougal to bring scandal to Eros, Roxie fled to her room. She got out of her bathing suit and put on some clothes.

  You’ll get through this, she tried to reassure herself, but she felt so lost and alone. And all she could think about was Dougal. How she’d violated her own moral code by agreeing to spy on Eros for her boss, and in the process, she’d inadvertently betrayed Dougal.

  But he’d betrayed her, too. He’d thought she was a saboteur. He’d been nice to her, romanced her, when in reality he’d been trying to get her to trip up. Roxie didn’t believe that he’d made love to her to get her to confess. On that score she truly did believe he’d simply been as swept away by their chemistry as she’d been. She curled her hands into fists, her fingernails biting into her palms.

  What she needed was something to stop her mind from whirling. A distraction. A physical outlet. A run, a swim…That’s when she realized she’d paused outside the resort’s gymnasium. Apparently her subconscious had brought her here. She read the activities offered on the menu outside the door. Aerobics classes, Pilates, free weights, a fencing area.

  Fencing.

  Yes, yes. A good fencing workout was exactly what she needed, but the posted hours said the gym was closed after noon on Sundays. Dammit.

  In frustration, she grabbed the door handle, intending on shaking it just to let off some steam, but to her surprise the door opened. Someone had forgotten to lock up.

  The lights were out in the gym, but the big picture window provided more than enough light. Furtively she glanced around. The corridor was empty. Smiling, she stepped into the gym as the door whispered closed behind her.

  “GO TO HER, TELL HER HOW you feel. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, it’s better to know where you stand than to keep forever guessing.”

  Taylor’s words rang in his ears.

  How could he be in love with Roxie? He’d only known her two short weeks. And yet his heart ached in an odd way it had never ached before. He had to tell her…what?

  He had no idea what he was going to say. He just knew he had to talk to her.

  He went to her room, banged on the door, but she didn’t answer. Finally he flashed his badge and asked a maid to let him into her room.

  It was empty.

  The twinge in his heart tightened. Where was she?

  Dougal searched the resort. She wasn’t in the any of the restaurants or bars, nor was she hidden away in an alcove. No Roxie in the lobby or the swimming pool area or the business office. He interviewed the valets, who swore that no one matching her description had left the resort. He almost skipped over the gym because it was closed on Sunday afternoons, but as he passed the door he heard the unmistakable sound of adept footwork, accompanied by the noise of a dueling sword slicing through the air.

  Gotcha.

  Grinning, he pushed open the door.

  Roxie’s back was to him, and she was in the middle of battling an imaginary opponent with her foil. She wore no fencing gear. Immediately his eyes were drawn to the flexing movements of her sweet little fanny encased in a pair of formfitting slacks.

  “En garde,” he murmured.

  She whirled around, her weapon at the ready. Although she didn’t wear a fencing mask, her expression was unreadable. Her eyes lit on his as she struck the basic advance pose. “En garde.”

  He glanced to the rack where the dueling weapons lay. He stalked over, picked out a foil, unsheathed it and turned to square off with her.

  Without a word, she stamped her front foot to the ground, producing a sound known as an appel. The intention was to startle him. He anticipated the lunge, raised his foil to meet hers, gliding it down her blade, keeping her in constant contact.

  Dougal had never fenced without gear. For a man who was always braced for trouble, it felt strange being so unprepared for battle, but oddly calming.
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  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She executed an interesting little maneuver called a ballestra lunge that was a lunge, feint, lunge combo that almost made him lose his footing. “Don’t worry about me.”

  “I can’t help it,” he said, regaining his balance and coming at her before she could mount a fresh attack. “I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a betrayal.”

  “Have you ever considered,” she asked, “that you set yourself up for betrayal?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You expect people to let you down and so they usually do. I’ve discovered that when you treat people as if they are trustworthy, they generally are.” Their blades clanged loudly in the high ceiling gym.

  “Oh yeah, just like Jess and Sam and your boss were trustworthy.”

  “Yes, they betrayed me. Yes, I was gullible and naive and too trusting. But you know what? That’s my own fault.”

  “For placing your trust in others.” Dougal nodded.

  “No,” Roxie said, her face deadly earnest as she rounded on him with a new lunge. “For not getting out there and experiencing things before now. I used raising Stacy as an excuse to hide from life. I was afraid of being hurt, so I never let myself love anyone other than my little sister.”

  Her swordplay was aggressive, her expression fierce. They went back and forth, thrust, parry, thrust, parry.

  “You on the other hand…”

  “Yeah?”

  “You distrust people as a way to avoid pain.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Distrust is your modus operandi. Your fallback position.”

  “Is that so?”

  “If you assume people can’t be trusted, then you can’t ever be truly disappointed.”

  He lunged, causing her to retreat down the fencing strip. “And where did you get your degree in psychology?”

  “Ooh, sarcasm. Another defense mechanism for the disillusioned,” she retorted.

  She was right but he was loath to admit it. “You do understand the real problem, don’t you?”

  “I’m positive you’re about to enlighten me.”

  “It wasn’t until I found out about Jess and Sam working for Porter Langley that I got it.”

  Okay, fine, she’d piqued his curiosity. “Got what?”

  “You don’t trust other people because you don’t fully trust yourself.”

  “I’m missing the connection,” he said.

  “I trusted too much. I thought other people would be like me. Open, honest, caring. So that made me think that you’re distrustful because you expect people to be like you.”

  “Huh?”

  “It’s a paradox, I know. But until you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable, then you’ll never be able to fully trust your instincts or other people.” Her blade tipped lightly against his shoulder. It was only when he felt the air against his skin that he realized she’d cut through the sleeve of his flannel shirt.

  “Touché,” Dougal croaked.

  “Like it or not, I get you.”

  He did like it, and that’s what he didn’t like.

  Her swordplay sent him backward. She scored another point on his other sleeve, and then did a crazy little ripple with her foil. Suddenly she’d cut off his shirt. The garment fluttered to the ground in shredded pieces, revealing his bare chest.

  Their gazes locked. Lust shot through him sharp as her sword. How he wanted her!

  Roxie came at him again. Dougal was on the defensive and he was unlikely to recover. She was a much better fencer than he, with far superior control and understanding of the finer points of engagement. She took him off the fencing strip and into a corner. He would already have lost in match play. His back was literally to the wall. He had nowhere to go.

  If he had any hope of walking away unscathed from his encounter with her, it was now or never. Dougal lunged toward her at maximum thrust, desperately seeking to regain control, but Roxie smoothly sidestepped, simultaneously wielding her foil in a swift maneuver and disarmed him.

  His sword clattered to the floor.

  He was doomed.

  Roxie’s smile was wicked, and it filled him with a kind of happiness he’d never felt before. It was the kind of feeling that altered a man in every way possible.

  “I see you for who you are, Dougal Lockhart,” she murmured. “I know what’s got you twisted up inside.”

  He stood there, fully exposed, vulnerable, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he sucked air into his lungs.

  She raised her blade.

  Dougal gulped, lifted his arms over his head in the universal gesture of surrender.

  Then with a blindly swift motion, she sliced open the leg of his jeans right at the level of his scar. With the gentlest of a feather-soft caress, she touched her blade to his ravaged skin and whispered, “Do you trust me?”

  DOUGAL NEVER TOOK HIS GAZE off her face. “I trust you,” he said, and she could tell he meant every word.

  Roxie dropped the foil.

  He wrapped his arms around her, squeezed her as if he was never going to let her go. Then his lips were on hers and everything that had driven her to this moment made perfect sense.

  Roxie twined her arms around his neck, and for the longest time they just kissed. She couldn’t get enough of his touch, his taste, his smell. He was in her blood, in her heart, and she knew she could never get him out.

  Finally they had to come up for air.

  “I’m not sure what this thing is, sweetheart—” he began.

  “We don’t have to define it.”

  He placed a finger to her lips. “Listen to me for a minute.”

  She quieted, watching his face.

  “You’re right about me. Deep down, I don’t trust myself. I’m always afraid I’m going to make a mistake and someone is going to suffer because of me. But with you, because of you…” He took a deep breath. “Roxie, I think we could have something really great.”

  She gulped, overcome by emotion. “I do, too.”

  “It’s probably too soon to say the word love…but you’re right. I’ve got to allow myself to be vulnerable or I’ll never be able to trust myself. I’m scared as hell, I’m going out on a limb here and I’m saying it. Roxanne Stanley, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  “Oh, Dougal,” she sighed, filled with so much joy and happiness she could hardly speak. “I think I’m falling in love with you, too.”

  Epilogue

  “YOU HAVE THE JOB IF YOU want it,” Taylor Corben said. “But only under one condition.”

  Roxie drew herself up to her full five-foot-six height. She desperately needed this job after telling off Porter Langley and walking away from Getaway Airlines, but there were a few things she just wouldn’t do.

  “What’s the condition?” she asked.

  Taylor jerked a thumb to Dougal, who was leaning insouciantly against the wall on one shoulder, his arms crossed over his chest. “Keep doing whatever it is you’ve been doing to this guy. I’ve never seen him so happy.”

  Roxie thought of everything they’d been doing during the two weeks they’d been back in the States—making love, picnicking in Central Park, making love, walking hand in hand through the Museum of Art, making love, taking in a few Broadway plays, making love, meeting each other’s friends and families, making love. “That’s not a hard promise to keep.”

  “Pun intended I hope,” Taylor teased. “But seriously, Roxie, I’m glad to have you aboard.”

  “I’m just so happy you gave me a chance after I spied on your operation for Getaway.”

  “Are you kidding? Good executive assistants are worth their weight in gold. And even though you told him to get stuffed, Porter Langley gave you a glowing recommendation.”

  “His conscience must have got the best of him.” Roxie smiled.

  “And don’t worry, I won’t ask you to do anything that goes against your moral code.”

  “Thank you.”

  “About
your starting salary…” Taylor said, and named a figure that was one and a half times what Langley had been paying her. “You’ll be getting a raise at the end of your three-month probationary period, of course. I hope that’s satisfactory.”

  “Very satisfactory.” Roxie couldn’t help shooting a look of triumph over at Dougal. He looked so handsome. Her man.

  Her man.

  The words warmed her up inside.

  “Wonderful.” Taylor leaned across the desk to shake Roxie’s hand. “Welcome to Eros Airlines.”

  “Thank you.”

  Taylor turned her attention to Dougal. “So no word on the saboteur?”

  He shook his head. “We were unable to conclusively tie any of the occurrences on the Romance of Britannia tour together. My men report there’ve been no problems at any of the other resorts. I’m beginning to think those threatening letters are just that—empty threats.”

  Taylor nodded but she didn’t look placated. Just then her cell phone rang. She raised a finger for Dougal and Roxie to excuse her as she took the call. They got up to leave, but Taylor suddenly motioned them to stay. She listened to the caller, and then said, “Do it.”

  She hung up the phone and looked at Dougal, her face noticeably pale.

  “What is it?” Dougal asked.

  Taylor swallowed “They found a bomb in the lobby of our Japanese resort. Looks like those threats aren’t so empty after all.”

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-4267-2

  ZERO CONTROL

  Copyright © 2009 by Laurie Vanzura.

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario M3B 3K9, Canada.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.