My Other Car is a Spaceship

by Mark Terence Chapman

  Kalen shrugged. “Beats me. Maybe when she checks out the sanitation unit we can offer to show her how it works. After all, she probably hasn’t seen one of those before. Hell, we hadn’t and we get around more than most.”

  “Works for me.”

  It wasn’t long before the prisoners stopped milling around and chose bunks. Because there was nothing else to do in the pen, people either paired off and chatted, or investigated the unit.

  Eventually, curiosity overcame the Chan’Yi female. Hal and Kalen casually approached the unit from the other side.

  “If you have any questions,” Kalen offered, “we’d be happy to answer them.”

  The Chan’Yi backed away from them, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What do you want?”

  “Nothing. We’re just being friendly.”

  “Really.” Her voice was cold and formal. “I noticed a distinct lack of friendliness toward the first four people to approach the unit. Yet you somehow felt a wave of friendship when I approached. Why is that, I wonder?”

  Kalen and Hal exchanged looks. Hal took a stab at answering. “We have a good friend from Chan, the Chalmis clan, given name Noud’Ourien. I guess you remind us enough of him that we felt more comfortable approaching you first.”

  She relaxed minimally. “I am familiar with Clan Chalmis. Honorable people, by and large.”

  Kalen nodded. “Yes they are. Our friend’s a prisoner here as well. He’s a doctor, helping out in the medical facility by treating the other prisoners. I’m sure you’ll meet him soon enough.”

  “Oh?”

  “There’s been an illness going around and everyone’s getting inoculated.”

  “I see.” Her face still showed doubt. “How about you two? What do you do?”

  “My friend Hal here is a pilot. I was Captain of the Unity ship Adventurer, until she was destroyed attacking the pirates.” His face tightened from the memory and the thought of all those lost in the conflict. “Most of our people were killed. Only four survived.”

  The Chan’Yi’s face softened at last, as did her voice. “I lost many friends as well. I am Pestas’Souk’Glouf, an astronomer. My colleagues and I were exploring the Brevitan Nebula, taking measurements of a fascinating pulsar that recently became active. Then out of nowhere another ship hailed us and demanded that we surrender. We were unarmed and had no choice. When the pirates stormed aboard, they killed all they deemed too old, weak, or otherwise unfit for slavery, including Prof. Frem’Nous’Vouc, one of the most preeminent astronomers on Chan.”

  Her voice broke and it took her a moment to recover her composure.

  “He was like a father to me, shepherding my career from university through graduate studies, and then a fellowship. This was my first field study as a formal team member.” Her voice broke again. “I suppose now it will be my last.” She looked over at several other prisoners huddled miserably on their bunks.

  Kalen squeezed her arm. “I’m sorry. Are these the other members of your expedition?”

  “Hmm? No. I know none of them. We were separated. The others are in the two adjacent cells.”

  “I’m sorry,” Hal said softly. “How many others are in your group?”

  “Five, all Chan’Yi.”

  Hal whispered, “Maybe there’s a way we can all get out of here together.”

  Her eyes brightened. “Out? How?”

  Kalen shook his head fractionally at Hal.

  Hal shrugged. “I don’t know. But we can’t lose hope. There has to be an answer.”

  The spark of excitement dimmed in Pestas’Souk’Glouf’s eyes. “Perhaps. What will happen to us?”

  Hal shrugged again. “We’ve been here a month and we’re still waiting to find out.”

  “Good news, Tarl.” Ishtawahl flashed a hundred-plus pointy teeth in the Alberian version of a smile.

  “Oh?”

  “Dr. Felmendar says the first nuke is ready for use and the second will be ready in another three days.”

  “Outstanding! It’s almost showtime. When we get the second nuke we’ll have enough to initiate Operation Midas Touch.”

  Penrod leaned back in his chair with a smile and interlaced his fingers behind his head. “From now on, everything we touch will turn to gold.”

  “What do you think, Kalen? Can we trust her?” Hal looked over at Pestas’Souk’Glouf, lying on her bunk.

  Kalen nodded. “There aren’t any guarantees, but I think so. I’m not getting any weird vibes from her. I think she’s exactly who and what she says she is.”

  “I agree. I guess it’s time to have that talk with her.”

  Kalen sauntered past her bunk and when he caught her eye gave her a head-nod toward the sanitation unit.

  She looked puzzled but followed. Hal met them a moment later. Seven other sets of eyes followed their movements. The other prisoners had no idea what was going on, but sensed something. The trio turned their backs on the rest.

  Sue looked from Hal to Kalen. “Well?”

  Kalen went first. “We have a way out of here, but we need your help.”

  Her eyes lit up with interest and then narrowed with suspicion. “Why me?”

  “Can you hear the frequencies of the door lock?” Hal asked.

  “Of course. Why? Can you not hear them?”

  Hal shook his head.

  “Fine, but how does that help you? And why should I?”

  “It helps us,” Kalen answered, “because we have a way to open the door, if we know what the frequencies are. And, of course, we’ll take you with us.”

  “You have my attention, but I would not leave without my friends. What is your plan after we get out of this cell?”

  Kalen looked at Hal and then shrugged. “We plan to play it by ear.”

  Sue cocked a surprised eyebrow at him. “You have been planning an escape for a month and that is the best you can do?”

  Hal defended his Captain in a fierce shisper. “Hey! We’ve only been outside this cell twice in all that time, and we haven’t seen much of the place. It’s hard to plan for the variables when everything’s a variable.”

  “I see. Perhaps we need a plan to eliminate some of the variables.”

  The men exchanged a surprised look. Kalen spoke first. “What do you have in mind?”

  Ishtawahl poked his head through the doorway. “It is done, Tarl. The nukes are aboard Queen Anne’s Revenge and the ship just launched.”

  “Thanks, Jern. This should be interesting. Once everyone knows we have nukes and aren’t afraid to use them, they’ll fall all over themselves to throw money our way.”

  “We shall see. Let us hope there are no unforeseen problems.”

  Penrod smiled. “Have faith, my friend. This is just the beginning of a long and glorious partnership.”

  Ishtawahl grinned back with all those razor-sharp teeth.

  The next morning, the cell lock clicked and every eye in the room looked up. As always, two guards stood watch, weapons leveled. The other two rounded up the Sestrans, the Melphim, the Thorian and the Alberian and led them out in shackles. Hal and Kalen could see others already waiting in the corridor outside.

  When the door clicked shut again, only the two Foren, Pestas’Souk’Glouf, and the humans remained.

  Sue, as the humans had taken to calling her, walked over to where the men sat and joined them. “We must hurry. The next time the guards return, it may be for one of us.”

  Kalen nodded. “I know. But a half-baked plan is worse than no plan at all. Still, a perfect plan won’t do us any good if we’re no longer here to implement it. All right then. We’ll leave tomorrow night. That gives us today and tomorrow to finish our plan.”

  Hal put his palm over Sue’s mouth to keep her from crying out. In the dim light, her blue hue looked almost black. He held a finger to his lips, hoping she understood the human gesture. Kalen waited by the door, listening for sounds outside. Hearing none, he waved Sue over to him. When she arrived, he handed her the calibrator and stood ba
ck.

  The longer he stood there, the more antsy Kalen grew. He just knew someone would wake up, or the guards would come for someone. After several minutes of standing and watching Sue fiddle with the dials and buttons he wanted to scream.

  The soft click of the lock accompanied the door hissing open. First hurdle overcome. Sue handed the calibrator to Hal.

  The next hurdle was equally critical. If the other prisoners awoke they would certainly want to leave, too. That could jeopardize everything. A large group traveling the corridors at night could be suspicious. The trio slipped through the door as quickly as possible, before the bright light of the corridor did what the hiss of the door hadn’t.

  Hal turned one of the dials and the door sighed shut again. “So far, so good.”

  Kalen turned left and Sue right. Each walked as far as the next intersection, looking for guards. If they saw any, they would return as casually as possible. Hal stayed by the door so he could open it quickly, if needed, allowing them to duck back inside. He could have waited in the holding pen, out of sight. But if something happened and he was unable to open the door again—due to a lockdown, perhaps—he’d have been trapped inside while the other were locked out. This way they could all try to escape together if something went wrong.

  This was not “The Great Escape” as Hal had dubbed it, but an exploratory sortie. The conspirators had finally agreed on that. There were too many unknowns for an escape to have much chance of success at this point. If knowledge is power, they were pretty well powerless. They didn’t know where the exits were, where the ships were docked, or for that matter, where in the fortress they were.

  Although Sue knew where her colleagues were kept, Hal and Kalen had no idea where Nude was. They knew the way to the medical facility, but not where Nude stayed when he wasn’t on duty.

  Not trying to escape at the first possible opportunity—now—came with a risk that they might be sold before the right opportunity presented itself, but all agreed that it was a risk they had to take for the sake of gathering intel about the fortress. The more information they could accumulate and bring to the Unity, the greater the odds of a later attack on the fortress succeeding. Assuming, of course, there even was a Unity left to report to.

  Hal and Kalen chose to have an optimistic outlook. If they truly believed the Unity was gone, then all the lives lost and all the pain suffered were indeed for nothing, just as Penrod had claimed. Neither man was willing to concede that Penrod was right.

  Escaping with Nude and Sue’s colleagues was their primary mission. If there was an opportunity to take other prisoners with them, so much the better. But escaping with vital intel had to be the first priority. Their fallback mission, should escape prove to be impossible, was to find a way to damage the fortress as much as possible. At the moment, though, neither outcome seemed likely.

  One point in the trio’s favor was that they hadn’t been issued any kind of garb that identified them as prisoners. That meant as long as no one saw them leaving their cell, there was no reason to suspect that they were prisoners. Hal’s tan jumpsuit and Kalen’s blue one were similar enough in style to the pirates’ coveralls that the differences should go unnoticed at a casual glance. And Sue wore the same type of flowing gown that all Chan’Yi wore. The color identified her as a scientist, but surely a fortress this size had some Chan’Yi scientists aboard.

  After finding no guards in the immediate area, Sue and Kalen returned to Hal.

  “Remember,” Kalen said under his breath, “we have every right to be walking these halls at night. We’re maintenance workers. If we don’t act suspiciously there’s no reason for anyone to stop us.”

  “Right,” Hal replied with a smirk. “Maintenance workers without tools.”

  “Maybe we’re on our way on-or off-shift and left our tools at the job site or in the maintenance office, or somewhere.”

  “Or somewhere. Yeah, that’s a good answer if we’re stopped.” Hal grinned.

  The other man shrugged. “Say whatever you want. Just be convincing. All right. It’s time to split up. Sue, you and Hal go that way,” Kalen pointed to the right. “I’ll go the other way. Keep your eyes and ears open. Learn all you can. There are bound to be security cameras here and there. There’s nothing we can do about that. We just have to hope no one recognizes us as prisoners. Act casual. Don’t do anything suspicious.”

  He took a deep breath. “Okay. We don’t know exactly what time it is in this place, or how soon morning shift starts and everyone’s up and about, so let’s keep this initial foray brief. We’ll meet back here in two hours. Right?”

  The other nodded.

  “Good. Gather as much intel as you can, to give us the best chance of succeeding. Good luck.”

  The others responded in kind and they went their separate ways. At the first intersection, two armed security guards approached from the other direction. Kalen froze for an instant, and then forced himself to keep moving as if he had every right in the world to be there. He turned right and walked with a bounce in his step. The guards hardly glanced at him as they passed by.

  Kalen let out a shaky breath. Three minutes later he arrived at the med center. He peered around the corner of the open door. There seemed to be only one person inside.

  Kalen breezed in as if he owned the place. “Ah, good evening. How are you?”

  The Thorian turned in surprise. “I am well. How may I help you? You do not appear ill or injured.”

  “Oh, I’m not. I just dropped by to see if Dr. Chalmis’Noud’Ourien was working now.”

  “I am afraid not. He has been off-duty for several hours.”

  “Ah. Too bad. I guess I can talk to him later.”

  “The doctor will be back here tomorrow afternoon. Perhaps you can see him then.”

  Kalen shrugged. “I suppose. We haven’t talked for a while and I just thought I’d stop by for a chat. But if he’s not here, I guess I could drop by in the morning and see if he wants to join me for breakfast. Do you know where his quarters are?”

  “Level C, Green sector somewhere. Are you sure there is nothing I can help you with?” The Thorian’s voice was now tinged with suspicion.

  “No, no. I’m fine. Just let the doctor know I stopped by if you see him before I do.” Kalen turned toward the door.

  “Certainly. Who shall I say—?”

  But Kalen was already out the door and putting distance between himself and the med center.

  Level C, Green sector. That narrows it down somewhat, wherever the heck Level C, Green sector is. Still, it’s progress. But I can’t exactly go around knocking on all Green sector doors in the middle of the night. So how do we find Nude’s quarters?

  He hurried to catch up with Hal and Sue.

  “This is Qwarille Control to approaching vessel. Please identify yourself and state your business.”

  “Qwarille Control, this is Queen Anne’s Revenge. As for our business, it is with Director Tanthocar. I suggest you put me through immediately. He will want to hear what I have to say. If you do not put me through, you will suffer the consequences.”

  “Consequences? Now see here! You cannot jump into our system and simply make demands. Who do you think you are?”

  “So, you are refusing to connect me to Director Tanthocar?”

  “Yes—unless you change your attitude and give me a good reason why I should. The director is very busy. He does not have time for idle threats or chitchat.”

  “Oh, the threat is not idle, as you might point out to the director when you contact him. Say goodbye to Mestarses.”

  “Say goodbye? What do you—?”

  Captain Feshen Tro turned to his Thorian pilot. “Fire!”

  The missile, visible on the bridge holoscreen, streaked from the forward starboard tube and headed for the tiny fourth moon of the Foren mining planet Qwarille. Within seconds, the missile disappeared from sight, reappearing on sensors. The missile arrowed straight at a large fissure bisecting the moon, an aster
oid captured by the planet’s gravity eons earlier. Forty-three seconds later there was a blinding flash, quickly compensated for by the holoscreen.

  When the image cleared, there was an expanding sphere of dust, ash, rock and three large, tumbling chunks of moon where Mestarses used to be.

  The shaken voice of the Foren airspace controller came over the comm. “Are-are you insane? There was a research station there, with more than forty scientists. You-you killed them all!”

  “And I have more nuclear warheads where that one came from. Unless you would like me to launch one at your headquarters, I suggest you connect me to Director Tanthocar immediately; put him through with a holo feed. That is, right after you tell him what just happened, and how it is all your fault because you refused to connect me to him.”

  “I? But you—!”

  “You have one minute to connect me, before you have no director left to connect me to.”

  “But— Our planetary defenses—”

  “Have no bearing on this matter,” Captain Tro interrupted. “You are a mining colony. Your defenses consist of two pitiful little ships. One is groundside for repairs and the other is returning from the Foren homeworld. It will not be here for nine days yet. By then, our transaction will be completed one way or another. By the way, you now have forty seconds left.” He turned to MosVeksal with open audio, so the airspace controller could hear. “Pilot, set the timer to launch in forty seconds unless I countermand.”

  The pilot of Queen Anne’s Revenge grinned and waved her antennae at her Captain. She knew it would never come to that. She guessed it would take fewer than thirty seconds to hear the director’s voice.

  It took precisely twenty-nine.

  The ashen face of an elderly Foren appeared onscreen. “Now see here!” The director attempted to get the upper hand.

  “Silence!” Captain Tro’s steel-hard voice brooked no argument. “You will do exactly what I say, or I will launch another nuke—this one centered on your headquarters location. If this call gets disconnected for any reason, I will launch. If anyone attempts to attack my ship, or interferes with this conversation in any way, I will launch. Do you understand me?”