My Other Car is a Spaceship

by Mark Terence Chapman

  Another ten minutes and they’d know if they’d survived Phase 3.

  Kalen crawled beside PelkSetmal, alert for any motion ahead that wasn’t swirling smoke. He put one hand ahead of the other on the floor, using the heel of his gun hand.

  Almost there. Any sec—

  “There!” a deep voice shouted from ahead.

  A blue flash burned through the pall, striking Pelk on the shoulder. The dense smoke made it difficult for Kalen to tell where the first shot came from. But Pelk evidently knew. He returned fire. The pained grunt told Kalen that Pelk’s shot had hit the mark.

  Before Kalen could decide where the second guard might be, the guard—reacting to the flash from Pelk’s weapon—fired, hitting Pelk in the neck and killing him instantly.

  Now Kalen had a target, as the smoke thinned for a moment. He and the guard locked eyes. The guard shifted his aim toward Kalen.

  Captain Jeffries had no such delay, as his weapon was already pointed in the general direction of the guard. He fired twice in succession, blasting the guard square in the chest and felling him.

  Kalen peered through the feathery fingers of the smoke as it faded to locate the first guard. He was alive, but barely. When he saw Kalen rise, he made an attempt to lift his arm and point his blaster. Kalen took a step closer and kicked the gun out of the fallen Melphim’s hand.

  “Just lie there until your friends arrive and maybe you’ll live to fight another day.” He called over his shoulder. “It’s okay, Tep. We got them. Let’s go.” After a moment’s hesitation, he finished, “Be careful you don’t trip over Pelk in the smoke.” His voice softened. “One of the guards got him.”

  Tep arrived a few seconds later with the duffel full of weapons, grimacing and swallowing hard as he passed his fallen comrade. “We-we were captured together. I did not know him well, but I liked him.”

  “I liked him, too. But we don’t have time to mourn him right now. We have to complete the mission or his death—and that of everyone else who dies during this mission—will be for nothing.”

  Tep nodded his understanding.

  “Good. Now let’s take that lab.”

  A hundred meters ahead, the hangar gaped open. The blast doors slid back to admit the arriving ship. Only a weak force field keeping the air inside separated the assault team from their goal.

  Hal smiled to himself. Damn. I can’t believe this cockamamie plan might actually work.

  He flashed a hand signal to those behind him: get ready.

  Fifty meters to go, twenty. The ship slid gently through the force field and settled onto the fused rock floor inside. The nine members of Hal’s team came in low so the sudden reintroduction of gravity wouldn’t bring them crashing to the floor. They touched down just to the right of the ship.

  Now inside the hangar beyond the force field, and in the presence of breathable air, the team opened their helmet faceplates so they could speak to one another. Using their radios would be a bad idea. Outside of the military, EVA suit radios lacked encryption capabilities. That meant the pirates could pick up their calls and tell what they were doing, even at a distance. But for the purposes of the assault, direct speech was sufficient.

  Fen, Bekken, and Gley reached the front of the ship and fired at the two guards standing by the right-hand set of airtight doors in the far wall of the hangar, dropping them. Because they’d been facing the other way, covering the doors, the guards never saw their attackers. Then the trio turned and sent a steady stream of blaster fire at the reinforced viewport of the bridge of the ship they’d slipped in with. With no shielding in operation and the blast doors open, it blew in seconds, injuring some of the crew inside and rendering the ship unable to leave the fortress without repair. The port access door opened and the ramp began to extend. Two grenades tossed in through the opening killed six of the reinforcement guards, injured four others, and caused a collapse of the internal passageway. No counterattack was forthcoming from that quarter, but a few guards managed to crawl through the wreckage of the bridge and fire back through the main viewport. This kept Fen and the others busy for a few minutes until the guards were taken care of.

  While all this was going on, Joud and Pete had raced toward the guard shack at one end of the hangar, firing as they ran and killing the two guards at the left-hand set of airtight hangar doors. Then they switched their aim to the guard shack itself, keeping the guards there pinned down. Return fire forced them to duck behind crates as they provided cover for the rest of the team. Splinters and chunks of the crates’ contents exploded outward from the force of the guards’ blaster fire. The crates wouldn’t hold together forever, but if all went well, they wouldn’t have to.

  Bekken and Gley took advantage of Joud’s and Pete’s covering fire to run toward the airtight doors at the guards’ end of the hangar, while Fen and Giffen dashed to cover the doors at the other end. Kelmalar, Hal, and Mynax raced for the entry hatch on the far side of the ship in the adjacent bay. It was open. A crewman poked his head out to see what the commotion was all about.

  He ducked back when he saw the three EVA-suited invaders. Hal tossed a grenade in behind the pirate and the trio went for the next ship. A muffled CRUMP! signaled the demise of another ship—at least without some major repair.

  That isn’t the one we want either. Let’s hope this last one is it. If we have to traipse through the whole fortress looking for the right hangar—or if the ship’s out on a mission—we’re in trouble.

  As Hal rounded the prow of the third ship, he smiled. Ah yes, this is more like it.

  Two armed crewmen were just exiting the hatch to investigate and Hal and Mynax made short work of them. They and Kelmalar charged through the hatch, weapons ready, and headed for the bridge.

  Here we go. Phase 4, the Can Opener, begins.

  “Sir!” MekFensal’s shout came through the intercom to Jern Ishtawahl’s implant. “The prisoners are attacking Dr. Felmendar’s lab!”

  Ishtawahl’s blood ran hot. No! If they destroy the warheads, there goes all our leverage.

  That thought was replaced by a chilling one. If they blow the plutonium—!

  “Mek! Shut down the air processor for that sector!”

  “But sir, the smoke from the fires—”

  “The smoke won’t matter if radioactive dust gets into the ventilation system.” Ishtawahl sensed the Sestran tensing with realization.

  “Ye-yes, sir.”

  “Send everyone available to the lab. We can’t let the prisoners destroy it!”

  “Yes, sir!”

  “I will meet the guards there.”

  It is time to finish this once and for all.

  Dr. Felmendar heard the sounds of blaster fire and then an explosion outside the laboratory door. The ever-present whir of the air handlers had ceased moments earlier, making the exterior noises sound all the louder.

  No! This cannot be! The prisoners—!

  “Guards! Keep them from entering the lab!”

  His words were wasted, however. The two guards posted inside had already dropped their game tiles on the portable table set up to the right of the door and pulled their weapons. One Melphim raced to the far side of the doorway, while the other took the near side. No one was going to be able to come through the door without being cut to ribbons.

  My work! My money! If they destroy the lab, I know that bastard Ishtawahl will not pay me what I have earned. He will try to declare the contract unfulfilled. Still, at least the working nukes are already gone. Perhaps I can get partial compensation from Ishtawahl. After all, it is not my fault the prisoners escaped, or came here to destroy the remaining nukes. But that would still not be enough to provide for my family once this disease consumes me.

  But what can I do to stop the prisoners? I am unarmed and the other technicians are gone. If those guards do not stop them….

  He thought for a moment.

  I know the two nukes in here are disabled, but the prisoners do not. Perhaps there is a way to convinc
e them otherwise.

  A smile lit his face. Ah yes, the timer. One of the warheads has a working timer, even if it is disconnected from the detonator. But the prisoners will not know that.

  It took only a moment to set the timer and even that was almost too long.

  Scarcely a second after pressing the button to start the countdown, the sealed door to the lab blew in. The guards to either side immediately began firing through the smoke, hoping a blind shot might take out one or more of the invaders.

  A satchel landed between them with a thump and exploded in their faces, killing one guard instantly and blowing the other back against a testing console, mortally wounded. Moments later, behind a volley of blaster fire, four prisoners raced through in pairs, two left and two right, covering the room with their weapons. Felmendar raised his tentacles, trembling as much from Bronn’s Syndrome as from fear.

  “What-what do you want?”

  The human who seemed to be in charge replied, “Haven’t you guessed? If you want to save yourself, I suggest you leave now before we blow the warheads.”

  “But— If you do that, you will contaminate the entire fortress.”

  “That’s exactly the point. So I suggest you scram now and find yourself a protective suit and head for the hangar. There’s gonna be a mass exodus once people realize what’s happened.”

  Felmendar nodded. “I thought as much. I cannot let you do that. There is too much at stake here. If you look over there…” he pointed, “you will see that I have set a five minute timer on that warhead. If I do not deactivate it, it will go off, killing you and your people.”

  The human glanced at the timer and frowned. “What’s the point? Whether you blow it or I blow it, it’ll serve the same purpose.”

  “Not at all. You want to blow up the warheads and scatter radioactive dust about. That is a relatively slow process, which would give you and your people time to escape. What I have done is set the warhead to detonate—with a force of 200 kilotons. This deep inside the asteroid, the force of the explosion would be unable to escape outward. Instead, the shockwave, pushing a superheated wall of subatomic particles ahead of it, would be forced to expand out through the corridors and tunnels radiating from this point, incinerating everything and everyone in its path. None of you, or anyone else in the fortress would survive. Is that what you had in mind?”

  The human frowned again. “But why would you do that? You’d be killing more people than we would, yourself included.”

  Felmendar shrugged. “I am dying anyway, within a few months. What I am doing here is more important to me than my life. I am doing it for my family. As for killing people, through my actions in repairing the previous warheads I know I have contributed in the slaughter of thousands of innocent people.”

  He looked down at the ground, unable to face the human. “What are a few hundred more not-so-innocent ones?”

  The human raised his weapon.

  “Killing me will not help you, nor will threatening me. I would rather die and thereby kill you all than let you stop my work. Go now and save yourselves, or we all die. You have only three minutes left until the warhead detonates.”

  The human looked at the timer again, this time with calculation.

  “Do not attempt to disable the timer. The warhead has a failsafe switch that will detonate immediately if the timer is not correctly shut down and safed.”

  The sounds of weapons fire coming from the corridor outside the lab heartened the Foren. They cannot stay any longer. They will have to accept my bluff and leave now.

  The human seemed to waver momentarily before coming to a decision.

  “You don’t seem to realize that we have no objection to dying, if it means destroying this fortress. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to come to that. Tep! Place the explosives on the warheads as planned.” The Thorian rushed to the first one and unslung the duffle from his shoulder. “Set them to go off a few seconds before the warhead timer. Use all the explosives. Someone must know what we’re after, so they shut off the ventilation system. We’ll need a bigger blast to spread the radiation far enough to do any good.”

  “But-but—” Felmendar sputtered.

  “Yes, sir,” Tep responded. It took only seconds to accomplish. “Done.”

  “Good,” the human declared. “Let’s get out of here. You’ll have to come with us…what’s your name?

  “Felmendar. Dr. Felmendar.”

  “Dr. Felmendar, then. We can’t have you undoing our work here.” He grabbed one of Felmendar’s tentacles in a fist and pulled him relentlessly toward the door.

  Before they got there, the others outside the door backed in, firing around the corner of the doorway.

  “Kalen!” one of them shouted. “They have us pinned down. There are too many of them to get past.”

  The human called Kalen sighed. “Crap. I knew it was going too well.” He glanced back at the timer: 2:24 left.

  “This way.” Hal pointed to the right as they ran. A head poked around the corner and Hal shot at it, sending it ducking back.

  “We’re halfway to the bridge and no one’s tried to stop us yet,” Mynax responded with a growl. “Isn’t this a heavily armed pirate ship?”

  “Yeah, it does seem odd, but…gift horse and all that. They may not even know we’re aboard—or they could be waiting for us around the next corner.”

  “Great. Thanks for putting that thought in my head.” Mynax flashed a tight grin and gripped his blaster all the tighter.

  A shout from behind followed by a blaster shot past Kelmalar’s shoulder ended any doubt they’d been discovered. Mynax fired back over his shoulder. Now the trio ran full tilt for the bridge.

  Seconds later they arrived, weapons aimed. Hal barely had time to register the splendor of the pirates’ flagship, from polished brass railings to antiqued wood paneling and wall-hangings that gave the impression of canvas sails, before Captain Tro and pilot MosVeksal emerged from their respective cabins.

  “What in Jendor’s name is going on here?” Then he recognized Hal. “You! How—?”

  Hal pointed his weapon at the captain. “Long story. Suffice it to say that we’re in control of this hanger and your ship. If you do as I say, you will live. If not….” He shrugged.

  “Oh, and I am to believe that you will not kill me, kill all of us pirates, out of vengeance for how you were treated, how your friends were killed in the attack on this fortress? You expect me to believe that you will simply let us go?”

  Hal shook his head. “I never said anything about letting you go. You all have committed crimes and you’ll be tried in a court of law. Besides, in a little while there will be a rather nasty explosion here in the fortress. I suspect you wouldn’t want to be around for that anyway.”

  The Melphim captain frowned. “Explosion? What do you mean?”

  “You have at least one nuclear-tipped missile aboard this ship, don’t you? Well, I propose to use it.”

  Captain Tro’s eyes bulged out. “Are you insane? You would die in the explosion, too. We all would.”

  Hal smiled. “Not the way I have it planned.”

  “Besides,” the captain continued, “you do not have the control codes to arm and fire the missiles.”

  “Missiles. Ah. Thanks for confirming that you have more than one. But we won’t need the control codes. You see, I brought along a specialist. Someone who participated in the retrofitting of the Unity ships to accept nukes. She knows everything she needs to know to reprogram the missiles.”

  Hal took a moment to break radio silence. “Squads 2 and 3, fall back to the ship. Giffen, you know what to do. You have two birds to cook for dinner. Squad 1, keep the guards bottled up in the shack for now.”

  He turned back to the captain. “Now, you will grant me pilot’s access to the ship, and Mynax here captain’s access, and disable your own pilot’s access.”

  “I will not.”

  “This isn’t a negotiation, Captain. You’ll do as I say, or you’
ll die right here, right now. Your choice.”

  Tro shrugged. “Kill me if you will, but that will not gain you access to the ship’s controls. Then your plan will fail. Either you will not be able to fire the nuke, or you will die in the attempt.”

  “One way or another, Tro, we will fire the nuke, even if it means our lives. So how much do you value your own? Are you really willing to die for Penrod?”

  Tro shrugged again. “Does it really matter? If I give you what you want, I will be executed for my crimes anyway. We are merely discussing the time of my death; there is no doubt as to the outcome.”

  Hal nodded. “Perhaps so, but what about your pilot here? Has she been loyal to you? Is she your friend as well as an exemplary pilot?

  Tro opened his mouth to respond, then hesitated.

  Hal filled the silence. “You could spare her life by cooperating. I could put in a word on her behalf, that she was merely following your orders. We both could.” He jerked his head at Mynax, who nodded in return. “That might be enough to save her life.”

  “Do not listen to him, Captain,” MosVeksal broke in. “He is trying to trick you!”

  “I’m willing to give you my word as a Unity officer, Captain. I will do everything on my behalf to spare your pilot. She will still do jail time commensurate with her crimes, but she will live.”

  “Same here,” Mynax chimed in. “I give you my word as the new commissioner of the Merchants’ Unity.”

  Tro stood in silence for a moment. “Very well. I will give you both access to all ship’s systems, and deactivate Mos’ access and that of the other pilot, in exchange for mercy for them and the rest of the crew. No less than that.”

  Hal looked at Mynax, who nodded in agreement. “Deal. Order all of your crew to disarm and head to the holding cells you use for prisoners. I want no one roaming around but my people. Use the intercom. No tricks, or I’ll shoot your pilot here.”