Because of Liam

by Erica Alexander

  “Hmm . . . I don’t think you can bend me over the hood of the truck. It’s pretty high. It could never happen.”

  “Oh, I can make it happen, believe me.”

  “I’m not so sure. Maybe you need to give me some visuals.”

  Yeah, he does give me some visuals. And I believe him.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  The bastard kicked me out of the house. Like for good. I don’t mean for just the day or the weekend or a week. I mean, this morning Logan suggested that maybe I want to sleep in the dorms and get the full college experience and I replied, “Why would I want to give up my comfortable home and share a room barely bigger than a prison cell with a complete stranger?”

  He has a good reason why I need to get out of the house. Great even, and he wants me to do it soon. Heck, I don’t blame him. If it were me in his place, I would probably do the same.

  Then I imagine me in his place and find myself smiling. Lucky bastard. He’s sure she’s going to agree with him, but I figure I’ll wait to hear the actual words. Maybe I can do the same.

  Well, not exactly the same. I don’t think River and I are quite there yet, but I know we will be. I don’t want to freak her out. Baby steps. We can probably just start with a simple swap. Because I’ll need a place to stay and there’s no way I’m staying in a dorm.

  Maybe when I was eighteen, but not at twenty-four. I imagine sharing a room with an eighteen-year-old kid and shudder. I’ve seen too much, lived too much to be able to try to fit in with the kids around me. I have made some new friends in my classes, but for the most part it’s superficial. I seem to intimidate other guys. The girls, on the other hand, they don’t get intimidated at all.

  Until they see River, that is. One glare from her and they all scurry away. Yesterday she told me I’m too hot for my own good. Best compliment ever.

  Part of me can’t believe Logan is popping the question to Skye and part of me can’t believe it took this long. He’s crazy about her. Spends every free minute with her and schedules his shifts around her work and classes. Skye is doing great at the newspaper and going for her master’s at the same time.

  River is going for her master’s in Psychology and I’m in my second semester of pre-med, thanks to all the summer classes I took. I love it. But not enough to get a dorm on campus.

  If River says no to what I have in mind, I’ll have to scramble to find a place fast.

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  “What do you mean you’re moving out?” My voice rises up a few decibels.

  One might expect her twin sister not to be so giddy when giving the news that she’s moving out. Out of the place we’ve shared for over four years.

  We have never lived apart. Never.

  Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for Skye finding her own way, standing on her own two feet and all that, but I never saw this coming. Skye was always the one who wanted to do everything together. The one who kind of depended on me. She may be older by three minutes, but I was always the leader and Skye the follower. I always imagined it would be me first venturing into the world alone.

  And it always worried me I would break her heart a little by leaving her alone. Why is it then my heart feels a little broken right now?

  “I’m moving out, River. I need to pack and get rid of my dingy stay-in clothes and buy some casual clothes and new underwear. You have to go shopping with me and force me to buy the racy stuff I know I won’t buy if I go alone.”

  She’s so excited, her voice comes out in spurts between breaths and giggles. I think my sister is high.

  “Are you high? Did you smoke some pot? No, that would make you mellow,” I answer myself. “Are you on crack or something?”

  That seems to get her back down from the cloud nine she’s been floating on.

  “What? No! Of course not. You know I don’t do drugs. I don’t even like to take an aspirin.”

  I know this, my twin, the goody-goody girl who never goes over the speed limit, much less ventures into illegal drugs. I’ve never been into any of that stuff either. Okay, I tried pot once in high school. Skye was too chicken to even go near it and made sure to stay downwind. God forbid she accidentally inhaled it.

  “Skye, you are freaking me out over here. I don’t understand what you are saying. I hear the words and it sounds like you said you are moving out and I will have this place all to myself, but it doesn’t make any sense.”

  She takes a deep breath and settles as her body relaxes into the sofa we’re both sitting on. Then, she shows me her left hand. And I see it. A beautiful white gold ring. A diamond encircled in topaz stones, the blue color nearly identical to her eyes.

  I hold her hand in mine and look between her and the ring a few times.

  “Is this what I think it is?”

  “Yes!”

  My free hand covers my mouth, holding in the gasp and surprise. My eyes start to mist and before I know it, we have our arms wrapped around each other.

  “Oh my God, Skye,” I speak into her hair. “He proposed? Logan proposed? How? When? How? Tell me everything.” I demand, pulling away from her so I can see her face.

  She grabs the baby blue pillow behind her and hugs it to her chest.

  “It was just so sweet and so romantic. I feel like I’m in a dream still.” Her eyes drift upward in thought.

  “You’re killing me with the suspense. Tell me already.”

  She giggles.

  “You know how he’s been trying to teach me to ice skate for weeks now?”

  “Yes, I saw the big purple mark on your ass from the last time you went.”

  “Well, he took me to the rink last night after closing time. We had the whole place to ourselves. It was dark, except for the lights right over the ice. And there were all these songs playing that they usually don’t play at the rink. They were slow and sweet and all the lyrics were about loving someone. A Thousand Years by Christina Perri—"

  “I love that song!” I interrupt her.

  “I know, I do too. All my favorite love songs were playing. ‘I’m Falling Even More in Love With You’ by Lifehouse, ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’ by Savage Garden, but I still didn’t think much of it. I was concentrating too hard on not falling on my ass.”

  She stops, a dreamy look on her face.

  “Tell me, woman! What happens next?”

  “We’re skating—or rather, he’s skating. I’m wobbling around like a drunk duck—and then all the lights go off. It’s pitch-black dark. He tells me to stay where I am. Not to move. He’s going to check out what happened with the lights. I stand there for a few seconds. I’m afraid to move and then ‘Marry Me’ by Train starts playing. And I think it’s weird that the music is playing when the place is completely dark because I thought it was a power outage. When the song gets to that part that says marry me, a single spotlight comes on, right where I am, and he’s kneeling before me, holding the ring in his hand.”

  My mouth drops open. That’s just about the most romantic thing I ever heard. I squeal. Skye squeals and then we’re hugging again and I’m crying.

  Fuck this shit! I do not cry. Not for this girly stuff. I’m not a crybaby, except that right now I am. I’m so happy for Skye. She is such a pure-hearted person. She deserves this. She deserves her little piece of heaven. And Logan is just the guy to give it to her.

  “Oh my God, Skye. That is so sweet. And then what?”

  “I said yes, of course.” She giggles some more, happy tears still streaming down her face. She’s glowing with happiness. “I was so surprised. I had no idea he was planning on asking me. No clue at all.”

  I huff at that. “Please. He’s crazy about you. Anyone with eyes can see it.”

  “I know he loves me. He tells me he does often enough, but after the fiasco with his ex, and his own parents’ messed-up marriage, I thought that maybe he would be like one of those guys who never makes the jump.”

  “Okay, so what happened next?”

  “He put the ring on my f
inger, kissed me and said he loved me, and said the most beautiful things. We went back to his place, and he made love to me with such adoration, River. It was magical. I mean, it’s always good, but last night it was special. It had more meaning somehow. He had to go to work this morning and just dropped me off. Saying goodbye, even if for just a few hours, is so hard. I don’t think my feet have touched the ground yet.”

  “I’m so happy for you, Skye.”

  We hug again.

  “Thank you, River. Gah! I think I’m gonna cry again.”

  I laugh. She hasn’t stopped crying since she showed me the ring. Which reminds me of my original question.

  “Okay, I get you two are getting married, but it is not happening right away, right? What is this talk about moving?”

  “Logan wants me to move in with him. And I said yes. I practically spend more time there than here anyway.” She squeezes my hand in hers.

  “I want this, River. I want to be with him. I want to live with him and wake up next to him every morning and have breakfast together, fall asleep with him. I want it so bad.”

  I nod at my sister. I understand. What they have is rare and special. They don’t want to waste any time apart.

  “I hope you’re not mad at me for just leaving without talking to you first.”

  “I’m not,” I’m quick to assure her. “But what about Liam? Won’t it be weird living with the two of them? You won’t have a lot of privacy.”

  “Well . . .” She hedges, her eyes shifting.

  “What? What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Logan asked Liam to move out. He asked him to move into the dorms.”

  I snort at that. Liam, living in the dorms? Sharing the small space with some freshman guy? Then I remember that the undergrad buildings are all coed and it does not sit well with me. Not at all. Jealous much, River?

  “There’s no way Liam will agree to moving to the dorms. No way.”

  “Well . . .” Skye repeats herself.

  “Spit it out, Skye.”

  “You’re right. Logan said he talked to Liam, and he refused to move into the dorms. Liam said he will find a place to rent, but in the meantime, he is staying put.”

  “Okay, that’s not so bad. Liam will find—”

  “Then I suggested that since I’m moving there, he could have my room and now he’s moving here tomorrow.” The last seven words were said in a rush, without any spaces in between them. Andnowheismovingheretomorrow

  “What? You kind of mumbled something there at the end that sounded a lot like ‘and now he is moving here tomorrow,’ but I know that can’t be, because my sister would not invite a man to move in with me without first talking to me, would she? Please tell me I didn’t hear you right.”

  “Well . . .” It’s the third time she says “well” in as many minutes. I’m starting to fear the word.

  “It is not like he’s a random man. It’s Liam. Your boyfriend. And it’s not permanent. Just until he finds a place of his own to rent.”

  I get up and start moving about the room. I can’t just sit there and calmly speak while my insides are twisting around like trapped tornado with nowhere to go.

  “Not permanent? A place of his own?” My hands move around like they’re having seizures. “You do know this is a college town, right? And that every rental place in a ten-mile radius is either already taken, too expensive, or it sucks. Liam won’t find a place close enough to Riggins. Not any time soon. Not until the semester ends and some people graduate and move away.”

  She opens her mouth.

  “Do not say ‘well’ again, or so help me God . . .” I don’t finish. Whatever I was going to say would not have been good and I don’t want to put a damper on Skye’s joy right now.

  My head drops to my chest and I run my fingers through my hair. It’s so long now. I haven’t cut it in months. My insides churn at the idea of Liam moving in with me. The part of me that’s scared about it is pissed at the part of me that’s all too happy about the idea of having Liam at my fingertips all the time. Ugh. My hands drop and I sit back on the sofa, facing Skye. Her face is a juxtaposition of emotions. Eagerness, worry, happiness. I heave a heavy breath.

  “Okay, I guess it’s okay if he takes your room and stays here for a while. But I’m not doing his laundry or picking up after him.”

  She lunges at me, both of us falling back on the sofa.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you. And you don’t have to worry about Liam. He’s a neat freak. Logan said he was not like this before going into the marines, but he came back a clean freak and he’s always putting stuff away and cleaning things up. You are in luck. It will probably be him doing your laundry and picking up after your sloppy ass.”

  “Doing my laundry is a plus. And my ass is not sloppy. I have it on good authority that my ass is fantastic. You could bounce a quarter off it.”

  Skye giggles.

  “I want to bounce something off that ass for sure.”

  Skye and I both jump and turn to see Liam standing just inside the door. Yeah. Of course, he had to come in just in time to hear me talking about my quarter-bouncing ass.

  And he already has a box in his hand. So much for waiting until tomorrow to move in with me.

  If the lust-hungry look on his face is any indication of his thoughts on this idea, I’d have to say Liam is just as happy to be moving in as Skye is to be moving out.

  I’m screwed.

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  “I’ll go finish packing,” Skye announces before floating down the hall. Yes, floating. I don’t think her feet touched the ground. She’s high on happiness. My brother is a lucky bastard and so is she. Lucky, that is. Not a bastard. I’d never call a girl a bastard.

  I look at River from my spot just inside the front door. I’m trying to gauge how she feels about my moving in. I didn’t catch the whole of their conversation. Just the last part. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that the whole convo was about me moving in. Wait? I did have a few bets with River, so I guess it does make me a betting man.

  She looks at me with a mixture of apprehension and joy. I know she’s happy to see me, but I also know we’re kind of early in our relationship if one is counting days and weeks and months, but we’ve also shared a shitload of stuff that most people never have to deal with, and it has brought us closer somehow.

  All of our insecurities and cracked pieces fit together and fill each other’s gaps. Our weaknesses together make us stronger.

  She watches me in silence as I walk into the room and drop the box I’m carrying on top of the dining table. I walk back to her and sit on the coffee table across from her. She has one leg folded under her, the other on the floor. I reach over to her and grab her hips, pulling her to the edge of the couch. She comes willingly, both of her bare feet on the floor now. I slide my hands up her sides and over her shoulders until I’m cupping her face in my hands and then I kiss her. Just a gentle touch of lips. Just a taste before we talk. I nibble at her lower lip and her mouth parts. The tip of her tongue teases me and that’s the end of my good intentions, of just giving her a hello kiss.

  This kiss goes from sweet and innocent to R rated in three seconds flat. I pull her closer and she climbs onto my lap, straddling me on the coffee table. My arms wrap around her back, melding her into me. And from then on, all rational thought is lost. There are only sensations and feelings.

  Her hard nipples on my chest. Her legs around my hips, the heat of her center on my cock, the taste of her mouth on mine, the silkiness of her hair brushing my arms, the tremble of her skin under my fingertips. The sounds of our shallow breaths filled with little moans and grunts.

  It is fierce, it is raw and honest and beautiful. I love this River.

  The River who hides nothing, who gives all, who takes all.

  She’s mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

  The possessiveness surprises me. I have never felt this way before. It overwhelms me and scares me, but I don’t pull back. I d
on’t retreat. I push forward past the fear and break through it. More than break through it. I embrace it. I recognized it for what it is. I look it in the eye and man up. There’s no going back from here. Realization washes over me. I don’t want to anyway.

  I love this girl. I love this girl. I love this girl.

  And this is it.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  So much for talking and trying to figure out the new living situation. I do have to say I can see some advantages to having Liam here. But part of me is afraid this is too much, too soon. That being thrust together under the same roof, will somehow push us apart. We already live mere yards away from each other. We go to the same college and even share a class. He drives me to and from school. And we have meals together with our siblings a few times a week. He spends half of his nights here. It already feels like we are living together, but now we will actually be under the same roof. Will it be too much?

  All those thoughts running through my mind are promptly pushed aside as soon as his lips touch mine. Before I know it, I’m on him, straddling his lap, and we are wrapped around each other. His mouth on mine, his tongue explores, and he nibbles as he tastes me.

  When his lips part from mine, it’s to run alongside my jaw and neck and I can feel him inhaling me as his arms tighten around my back. Shivers run across my skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. He’s breathing as hard as I am and I can feel him so hard against me, so hot. I’m about to combust and then it hits me—the irony that the only guy who can set me on fire like this is also the only one who can put it out.

  “Liam . . .”

  I don’t know if I’m asking him to keep going or to stop. I want to finish what we just started, but I also know we need to talk this out and make sure living together will not complicate things. But maybe the talk can wait a little, because his hands are coming to my sides and they brush the side of my breasts and God, he knows how much I like when he does this.