by Sarah Cole
HUNTER:
Tanner and I are working on a report, just waiting for dispatch to send us something new when my phone rings in the cup holder of the cruiser. I look to see Verity’s picture pop up on the screen. It’s the one where she’s laying in the snow making a snow angel in my parents’ back yard. She looks surprised and happy, not to mention fucking gorgeous. The fact that I haven’t gotten to see her very much in the past few weeks sends a dull ache through my chest. I’ve never felt this way before. Before Verity, I never gave two shits whether or not I saw a girl or spent time with her, but with Verity even forever doesn’t really seem like long enough. I just wish I knew that she felt the same way. I know she cares for me obviously, and I know she feels the same chemistry that I do, because it’s undeniable. It’s just that she’s so hard to read when it comes to her feelings. She plays that hand very close to her vest.
“Good morning, beautiful.” I answer. Tanner makes a gagging sound, like he usually does, and I throw my empty coffee cup at him.
“I got your delivery this morning. They are gorgeous, thank you.”
“Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl.” I reply and her answering breathy sigh sends a shot of need straight to little Hunter.
“Damn, you guys are sickening.” Tanner mutters under his breath, but loud enough for my girl to hear him on her end.
“Hi douchebag.” Verity calls through the line. He flips me and my phone off, and I smack his hand away.
“I miss you.” I say into the phone, not caring that Tanner is pretending to smash his head against the dashboard in agony at our conversation. I roll my eyes at him when he looks at me to make sure I see him. He’s like a fucking three year old, I swear.
“I miss you too- a lot.” She sighs.
“I know, babe. We’ll make up for it this weekend. I promise. Just pack an overnight bag, and be ready for me.”
“Hunter, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” she says. Normally when your girlfriend utters those words you better run, duck or hide because something is about to go down and not in the good way, but the way she says it, I’m not worried – I’m really more curious than anything.
“What’s that?” I ask playfully, desperate for her to say more.
“I suppose you’re just going to have to pick up the latest issue of Trend and read my February feature for yourself. It says everything I’ve been wanting to say to you for weeks, but I couldn’t find the right words.” She says quietly.
“Really?”
“Really, sweetie. Look, I’m really late and I’ve got to run into some meetings, but I’ll call you when I leave here so we can talk.”
“Ok, I’ll talk to you later. I love you.” I say.
“Be safe.” She responds sweetly before the call ends.
***
Call me crazy, or maybe just a little bit eager, but the next newsstand we see, I pull the cruiser over into the fire lane with the lights on and get out. After paying for the magazine, I hop back in, thankful that the heater got fixed before it got too cold. As I pull away from the curb, Tanner snags the magazine from my lap and gives me a disbelieving look.
“You serious, dude?” he raises his eyebrows, holding up the pink and red glossy book.
“Damn right I’m serious. There’s something in there I need to read.” I say, pulling away from the curb, and back into the never-ending line of traffic. Having lights and a siren on top of your car works wonders in being able to navigate this city. Perk of the job.
“What are you needing to read? Ten tips on how to satisfy your man, fifteen figure flattering flirty dresses from this year’s hottest designers, or your girl’s ever popular, beauty on a budget?” he laughs.
“Shut up.”
“I’m just fucking with you, Williams, christ! What were you looking for? Something of Verity’s? I can read it out loud while you drive.” He offers.
“It’s alright, man. I’ll stop here in a second. It’s about time for a break anyways. I want to read it for myself.” I say, searching for a quieter street to pull over on. That’s a laughable thought considering we’re in the heart of the city. I finally find a street that’s open with parking and I pull up next to the curb. It just happens to be right down the block from Verity’s work.
“I’m going to go grab something to eat. Want anything?” Tanner asks, opening the car door.
“Nah, I’ll just grab something in a minute. Thanks though.” He nods his response as he steps out of the car and shuts the door. I just watch him. Three, two, one… and yep, there it is. The Tanner McKenzie strut. The fucker walks down the street like damn peacock in uniform. In a matter of seconds, he has some girl coming up to him asking him for directions. I have to hand it to him, he’s got game. I shake my head at his antics, hoping someday soon he can get over whatever has his monogamy switch firmly in the off position.
I take the magazine, my heart hammering in my chest knowing I finally get an inside view into Verity’s head. I look for the February features until I find a six-page spread entitled, “What I thought I Wanted,” written by Verity Peterson, edited by Ashley Maxwell. I smile as I begin to read, then all of a sudden, I feel like I took a detour somewhere just to get punched in the nuts.
“The fuck is this?!” I practically shout to myself. I flip through the article, my eyes reading at lightning speed, and with every word I try to understand just what I’m reading. How could she do this? Why would she do this? How could she embarrass me like this? I thought she loved me…? These are all questions that are flying through my head as I try to process the fact that Verity basically just called me a misogynistic meathead and stated that I’m quite literally the opposite of the guy she wants, and that she should have stuck to her list because a woman shouldn’t ever have to compromise on what they want in life. Not to mention the fact that somewhere out of left field she blamed romance novels for idealizing unhealthy and controlling relationships where the man likes to take charge in the relationship. Seriously, I need some answers.
Tanner picks now to open the door and flop into the passenger seat with a bag of greasy only god knows what.
“So, did you find your vagina yet?” he jokes. When I don’t say anything he looks at me, his eyes widening. “What the hell happened to you? Who put your nuts through the meat grinder?”
I don’t respond, I just smack the open magazine to his chest. He grabs it with a questioning look, but then begins to read. I see his eyes widen as he keeps reading, flipping through the pages. “Shit…” he groans.
“Yeah.”
“What a bitch.”
“Yeah…” I cringe, and I kind of hate the fact he’s calling her names, but right at this very second, I can’t find it in my heart to disagree. Because right now my heart is dying slowly in my chest.
I get out of the cruiser and practically run to Verity’s office building. Distantly, I hear Tanner calling my name, but I don’t stop because damn it, I have to know. Was she just stringing me along all this time- playing with me? I fucking took her home to meet my parents for Christmas. My mom is all but planning our wedding, and fuck if I haven’t thought about it a lot too. I thought we’d grow old and have a family together.
I storm into the building, and violently jam my finger into the elevator button repeatedly as if it is going to ease my anger and hurt. Soon enough one of the doors slides open and I step inside, pounding my fist into the button for Trend magazine’s floor. I walk through the door, bypassing the front desk as some girl with a ridiculous feathered headband tries to flag me down and get me to sign a fucking clipboard.
I make a B-line straight for Verity’s desk, but when I walk through the doors to where all the work stations are, the desks are completely empty. I spy the giant floral arrangement I had sent over early this morning so it would be here when she got into work this morning, and it pisses me off even more. Damn thing cost me a couple hundred bucks, and all she wanted to do was make me out to be a laughing stock.
I hear heels clacking behind me on the shiny white floors. I turn to find the little receptionist out of breath and waving the clipboard at me.
“Where is everyone?” I grit out. I sound like a wild animal.
She looks a little afraid when she answers. “Everyone is in assignment meetings for upcoming issues. Happens every release day.”
“How long will they be in there?”
“Most of the day, sir. Can I help you with something?”
“I need to see Verity Peterson. Now.”
She nods, and I expect her to give me a hard time, but she doesn’t. I think that she has accepted the fact that it doesn’t really matter what she says, I’m pretty much going to do what I’m going to do and there’s no stopping it.
“Conference room 3 around the corner.” She says, and turns and leaves me to it.
I find the room easily enough, and I don’t even knock as I feel the blood boiling under my skin. I open the door and step inside to find a room full of perfectly made up, shocked faces staring up at me from the conference table they are sat around. There’s a severe but pretty blonde woman at the front of the room, writing down ideas on a white board. If /I’m not mistaken, I believe she’s the same lady that had the bra on her head the day of the march. She turns to look at me, arching a pointy eyebrow as if she’s perfected the move.
“May I help you officer?” she purrs.
I don’t bother answering, instead I find Verity’s shocked eyes with my own. Her slight smile falters and drops as she takes me in.
VERITY:
“You!” Hunter says looking at me with disbelief and anger. He looks like he is coming unglued and I have absolutely no freaking idea what’s going on. I’m low key looking around for some hidden cameras or something. Am I getting Punk’d? Is that still a thing? Man, I’m really showing my age now with that one.
I stand, smoothing down my outfit and looking around just as confused as all of my coworkers appear to be. Poor Gigi is dribbling her latte out the side of her mouth and down her white blouse, Tally stopped mid-lipstick reapplication, Leah is staring at her notebook, and Alex looks like she might laugh or cry at any moment. She’s kind of a loose cannon, so who knows which way she’s going to swing this time. And Ashley? Well, she just looks entertained as fuck, but she’s kind of warped like that. So, I’ll just let it slide.
“Hunter? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” I ask hesitantly.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me right now, Verity. What the hell is this?” He fumes, throwing down the February issue.
“Whoa! Hunter, this is my workplace! Let’s take a walk.” I walk around the table towards him, shooting my colleagues and apologetic look.
“No. I think you’ve said all that you need to say. I just don’t know how you could embarrass me like that? I thought we meant more to each other, or was that all just one sided? Jesus, Verity. I love you! Don’t you get that, or do you just not care?”
I gape at him at a loss for words. He’s never talked to me like this, and he’s not making any sense. It’s pissing me off, and confusing me.
“Hunter, right now you’re embarrassing me. I don’t know what you’re talking about, but let’s discuss this later. I don’t think everyone wants to hear it.” I say trying to usher him out the conference room door. He gives me a hard stare.
“Oh, I assure you, this is far more entertaining than any of the subpar ideas that are being tossed around in this room.” Ashley says with a smirk, rolling the dry erase marker between her hands.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Hunter asks. God, he’s being such an asshole. Is he drunk? Seriously? I’ve never seen him like this.
“Ashley Maxwell. Verity’s boss.” She says simply.
“Oh so, you actually approved of that garbage before it was printed?” he asks, and I feel the slap of his words as the tears begin to sting my eyes. I glance at Ashley and she studies me for a moment, seemingly unfazed by his insult.
“I think you should leave.” I say to Hunter.
“Yeah, I think so too. I’m done here. There really isn’t anything left.” He says, and I swear I see tears shimmering in his eyes. If I wasn’t so angry and hurt right now, I’d be even more confused.
Hunter is turning towards the door when it bursts opento reveal Tanner. Holly is hot on his heels waving that damn clipboard at him.
“Jesus, Hunter, come on.” Tanner bends over, clearly out of breath. He stands himself upright and claps Hunter on the shoulder. “You good, man?” Hunter shakes his head and waves a dismissive hand like he’s done here – done with me. If looks could kill, then I’d be six feet under with the look that Tanner is giving me.
“Dick move, Verity. Dick. Move.” Tanner points at me, annunciating every single word with excellent diction as Hunter leaves. Before I know it, they are both gone, and all I’m left with are the hot tears that are running down my face and a room full of stunned women.
“That man has anger issues.” Ashley criticizes, stacking a set of papers. Her judgement pisses me off even more. Meanwhile everyone else in the room is trying to look oblivious to what just went down, or they are still staring at me with dazed expressions. I literally have no idea what just happened, but I’m fairly certain that Hunter just broke up with me. Although, I’m one hundred and fifty percent clueless as to why.
“I think we should take a break. Everyone take an hour and a half and get some lunch and we’ll reconvene at one thirty.” Ashley says, not even mentioning the shit show that just happened.
The girls gather up their things and make some pretty hasty exits. Gigi hands me a travel pack of tissues and a half hug, leaving me alone with Tally and Ashley. Tally isn’t going anywhere… nope. She stays because she is one of the rare few that is not afraid of my ugly cry.
She calmly stands and walks the three feet to where I’m still standing as still as a statue.
“What. The. Fuck?” I say before I erupt in tears. I’m crying so hard they’re squirting out the sides of my eyes like they do in the cartoons. Ok, so probably not, but it feels that way.
“I’ll leave you two to it then.” The Feminazi says striding towards the door. “Oh, and Verity, hun. I forgot to mention. I did make some edits to your article – you know, just to make it a little less personal and more marketable to our audience. You’re welcome.” She winks and I feel my jaw drop.
“What?” I scratch out.
“Oh, it’s fine. You did a fantastic job. It just needed a little bit of tweaking; a bit more bite.” She almost closes the door when her head pops back in. “One more thing. You’re too good for him anyways. If you keep up the good work around here, you’re on the fast track to becoming me one day soon.” Then the door closes, once again leaving me confused and angry.
***
Tally hands me the February issue, and we flip it open on our desk searching for my article. I finally find it in the jumbo-sized issue, and as I begin reading, I quickly realize that this is not my article. Well, it is, but it isn’t – at all. Everything I said was skewed or flipped, and there’s a heavy focus on my stupid list when the whole point of this article was to tell what a bullshit idea it was in the first place. This article paints Hunter and men in general as being misogynistic and narrow minded. Yeah, well it actually used those words and I’m mortified. Then there’s this part about alpha males in romance novels. I mean, where the hell did that even come from? How is that even relevant to the theme I had going here? I don’t even know what to do.
My stomach rolls and fills with dread. No wonder Hunter was acting like a complete lunatic. I literally just told him to pick up a copy of this magazine to learn how I feel about him, only to find out the whole article was twisted around and made it seem that I thought he was a jerk and needed to stick to the list and never settle. I feel sick -like really sick. How do I fix this? How do I even begin to explain to him that this isn’t mine when my name is all over it? Yes, I’m still incredibly embarrassed and ticked off that he
barged in here all caveman like, but I have to fix this. Although I have this sinking feeling that it will be easier said than done.
“I seriously don’t understand how she changed that much in such a short amount of time.” I stare at the article with my head in my hands.
“It’s not right, Verity. We can’t let Ashley do this and get away with it.You’re still listed as the author, but it’s not your work – not really.”
“I know my name is all over it, but does he honestly think that I’m that much of a bitch to make him go buy a copy of the magazine only to tell him that I didn’t like him or even love him?! If he thinks that way, then honestly, I don’t’ know if he’s the right man for me after all!” I’m furious now. You see, my anger moves in stages. Shock, ugly crying because I’m typically non-violent, anger, then back to sadness, then sometimes resolution.
“Well, I can’t say that what he did was right, but if he thinks this was true, it was definitely warranted.” Tally says, still skimming the article. “Can you believe that she actually wrote this?” She turns the magazine, pointing to a line.
“I was so determined that my rules were crazy, so I decided to deviate. For just a moment, I thought I had found true love, list be damned, but I was wrong. I know now that what I know I want, and what I think I want are two very different things. I just learned that lesson for the last and final time.” I read, and all I can do is shake my head. For one, she makes me sound like a rambling lunatic, but two I’m still grappling with the why’s here. Why would she do this? She knew what this article was about and one of the reasons for writing it the way I did. You can’t give someone complete creative freedom only to change everything behind their backs.
“You have to fix this, Verity. I know you love him, and obviously he loves you too. I mean, he wouldn’t have come in here all fast and furious like that if he didn’t. Plus, I think he was going to cry. YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS!!” she urgently shouts, snapping me from my next round of sadness.
