No One to Hold

by Arell Rivers

  Still on my knees in front of her a couple of minutes later, I say, “See? Perfect.”

  I WAKE EARLY, loving the feel of Rose back in my arms where she belongs. At some point in the night, we managed to leave my bedroom and make our way to the guest room. I had her moaning under me three times before we fell asleep, exhausted.

  I look down at the woman in my arms, reliving every moment of last night. Even though it’s only been a few days, I’ve missed her. I need to talk with her about dropping the whole Emilie charade and coming clean with my fans. Gruesome wouldn’t dare enforce her non-fraternization policy if I raise the subject with her.

  Did I really tell Rose that I love her? She never told me she felt the same way, but I’m sure she does. Maybe she needs more time. More reassurances that I’m going to stick around. Which is understandable because she doesn’t have a relationship with her father, and her fiancé died.

  She mutters something unintelligible in her sleep and turns over, presenting her back to me. Not one to miss a good opportunity, I spoon her, nestling my semi-hard cock between the cleft of her ass. I reach over and cup her boobs. She sighs in her sleep, and I close my eyes and fall back asleep, cradling my woman.

  Whispering wakes me. I’m all alone in the bed. When I look in the direction of the noise, I see Rose curled up in the corner of the room on her cell. Not wanting to let her know I’m awake, I strain to listen to her side of the conversation. I hear her say, “Soon, okay?” And then, “Yes, according to plan.”

  What plan? I’m fully awake and getting more confused by the second.

  Bewildered, I sit up in the bed, announcing my return to consciousness. Rose smiles at me over her shoulder. In a louder voice, Rose says, “I gotta go now. I’ll be home in a couple of hours and then we’ll head out to the spa. Bye, Mom.”

  I push down the blankets to make room for her. Rose stands and walks toward me, wearing yet another T-shirt from my first concert. Mom must have single-handedly bought all of the remaining inventory.

  “I was trying to be quiet. I didn’t want to wake you.”

  Running my hands up her body, I reply “No worries. What did your mother have to say?” My hands stop their ascent at her ass, pulling her closer to me.

  “She was annoyed that I didn’t go home last night.” Rose looks down and sequentially touches her fingers to her thumb.

  I frown. “Everything okay, Ro?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What ‘plan’ were you talking about?”

  “Our spa day. It’s Mom’s first.”

  Relieved, I tease, “I was starting to get worried, babe.” Her features are tight, so maybe she needs some more Cole magic. “Come back to bed so we can start this day over the right way.”

  “As much as I want to, Cole, I have to take a shower and get back to my mother’s.”

  “Fine.” She raises an eyebrow at my quick capitulation. “Let me get you a towel.”

  In the hallway, I open the linen closet and hand her a towel. I grab one for myself, then follow her into the bathroom.

  At the sink, she turns and says, “Cole, we shouldn’t. Your father is down the hall.”

  “Ro, I wouldn’t care if the Dalai Lama were in the room, I’m going to wash your back.”

  She stares at me like I’m nuts. I’m feeling as if I just hit the stage without a set list. Is this because I told her I love her?

  An hour later, we’re showered, dressed and waiting for my Dad’s pancakes. We needed the shower sex. We’re both much more relaxed now.

  “Is everything on track for Ozzy’s show?”

  Rose nods at my father. “Yes. All the advance work has been done. Rumor’s out that Cole may take the stage at one of Ozzy’s Vegas shows to perform his new single.”

  “That’s great. I’m so happy my son has you on his team,” he says while he’s placing the pancakes on the table.

  Rose smiles at my father. “Thank you, Ken. And thanks for letting us borrow your photos. I promise to return them to you in good condition.”

  After our pancake breakfast, Rose texts Roberto to let him know she’s ready to leave. We walk together to the car. It pains me to leave her, but I say, “Have a good spa day, sweetheart. I’m looking forward to meeting your mom at dinner.” I lean down and give her a passionate kiss. “I’ll see you tonight at the restaurant.”

  Rose strokes my cheek with her hand. “I’m looking forward to it.” She gives me another quick kiss and ducks into the car. Roberto drives my girlfriend away.

  I wander back in to the kitchen.

  “Rose is a good match for you, son,” Dad says.

  “Thanks, Dad. I agree.”

  “She seemed a bit off this morning, though. Is everything all right?”

  So Dad noticed something too? “I asked her, but she said she was fine.”

  “I’m sure she’s just preoccupied with the stalker. Plus, juggling her visit with her mother and trying to keep your career on track.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. Not to mention Jessie’s and Brandan’s careers, too.”

  “She sure has her hands full.” He slings the kitchen towel over his shoulder. “C’mon, help me clean up and we’ll spend the afternoon at Jayson’s.”

  I PULL INTO A parking space, cut the engine and reach for the bouquet of roses sitting on the passenger side. While I’m accustomed to mounting a stage and singing in front of thousands, I’m nervous about meeting Rose’s mother without anyone for backup. Must be all of Rose’s prior warnings about her mother. Guess it didn’t help that Jayson heckled me nonstop about Ro this afternoon. At least Dad and Carl were totally on my side. Jayson was too, he just likes to tease me, especially since he doesn’t get the chance too often.

  Thankfully, it seems like Ro and her mom enjoyed the spa day. Her texts sounded increasingly relaxed as the day progressed. Yeah, I got this. I need to remember to give her a spa day again soon when we’re back in California. Or I could always give her a massage myself. Naked, of course.

  With that enticing image in my head, I get out of the car and head to the front door of the restaurant. It wouldn’t do to be late, not when I want to make a good impression. I walk up to the hostess stand and ask for Rose’s table. Realizing who I am, the hostess does a double-take and promptly drops a stack of menus on the floor.

  Bending down to help her retrieve them, I say, “Slippery, aren’t they?”

  The hostess laughs self-consciously, but to her credit, she regains her composure. “Thank you, Mr. Manchester. I’m not usually such a klutz.”

  Glancing at her nametag, I smile and say, “No problem, Loni. No menus were hurt in the making of this video.”

  She smiles back and tells me to follow her. Around the bend, I spy Rose and my heart skips a beat. She’s glowing from her trip to the spa. To her left is an older, attractive woman. She, too, seems relaxed. The two are deep in conversation.

  Stopping at the table, I thank Loni and bend down to kiss Rose. She turns her head at the last second, so I end up kissing her cheek. In response to my questioning look, her eyes dart from left and right, as if to remind me that we’re in a public place. This shit has to end really fucking soon.

  But now’s not the time to have a throw down about taking our relationship public. I turn to Rose’s mother, conjure up a smile and offer her a dozen peach roses. The color symbolizes appreciation. I’m seriously becoming an expert on the meaning of colors.

  “Ms. Bloomer, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” She takes the flowers, gives me a half-smile and replies, “Mr. Manchester. Sit.” She places them on the empty chair next to her.

  Whoa. There’s something in her tone that communicates that she disapproves of me. And it hasn’t escaped my attention that she didn’t even say thanks. Taking my seat between the two ladies, I smile at Rose and try to lighten the mood. “So, how did you two enjoy the spa today?”

  Rose returns my smile, although without much heat. Her mom responds, “It was lovely, Mr. Ma
nchester. Thank you.”

  There it is again, that thick understated disapproval. I can also sense it in the way she said my last name. Time to turn up the charm. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. And, please, call me Cole.”

  “It’s not often that I get to spend the day doing nothing but having other people wait on me.”

  Wait, what? I shoot a look over to Rose, but she’s staring into her iced tea. What’s going on?

  I clear my throat and start over. “So, Rose tells me that you’re a daycare provider. You must have nerves of steel.”

  I offer her a smile. She doesn’t return it. “It’s an honor to help people raise their children. The precious little ones didn’t ask to be brought into this world, but I do all that I can to make sure they are well-cared for on my watch.”

  I can’t seem to say anything right. Rose studiously stares at the menu. Bewildered, I grab her hand and kiss it. Our eyes meet and her mother continues, “Do you have any children, Cole?”

  Turning my attention back to her mother, I respond, “No, not yet. But I look forward to becoming a daddy one day.” I smile, thinking of my goddaughter.

  Rose finally pipes up and says, “Cole is wonderful with Emma, his goddaughter. He’s the only one who can get her to stop fussing.”

  “Yeah, she always quiets down when I sing for her. Her parents even use my albums to calm her.” Rose and I share a smile.

  Her mom doesn’t seem impressed, though. “Music is a sure bet to soothe a baby. Sounds like you have some experience. Are you sure you’re not hiding a baby from my daughter?”

  Rose gasps. Shit. What does her mother think of me? “Ms. Bloomer, I can assure you that I don’t have any children running around.”

  She harrumphs.

  “I wasn’t a saint before I met your daughter, but she means the world to me. I wouldn’t hide anything from her, especially something as monumental as a child.”

  “What if you had a child, though? What would you do?”

  I’m confused. What is this woman getting at? “I would make sure the child is well cared for, I suppose. I wouldn’t be an absentee father. But, seeing as I don’t have one, there’s no need to discuss this further.”

  We eyeball each other for what seems like an eternity. I can’t figure out why she’s pushing, but I bet it has something to do with Rose’s deadbeat father.

  Rose jumps into the tense abyss. “Mom, Cole is getting ready to go on a world tour. He’s going to Europe and Australia.”

  “Yes, you mentioned that before, Rose. Will Emilie be joining him, like she is here?”

  “Ms. Bloomer, I’m not ‘with’ Emilie. Rose set us up for publicity purposes.”

  “Yes, I know. Emilie’s quite convincing, but then you play your part extremely well, too.”

  Throwing Rose a quizzical look, I respond, “When I’m with Emilie, I’m playing a role. The media and public want to think they know me, and Rose orchestrates parts of my life to give them the perception that they do. What I want, however, is your daughter. I’m in love with her, and I want to shout it from the rooftops.” There. I said it.

  Rose’s mom gives her a hard stare and then turns to me. “Are you aware that Rose’s first boyfriend stopped by to see her the other day? Now there’s a steady man. Marco has a secure, normal job. He’s not the type who’d leave her behind to go globe-trotting.”

  Rose’s first boyfriend has a name. Marco. This is all sorts of messed up. She didn’t even mention him to me at Dad’s yesterday. All the color has drained from Rose’s face.

  “Clearly, Rose didn’t tell you about Marco’s visit.”

  “No, she didn’t, but I’m sure she has her reasons.” I refuse to let this woman derail our relationship. “I may not have a traditional career, but I can provide for Rose. Our lives will be filled with new adventures and experiences.”

  Whoa, I’m getting ahead of myself here. I’m totally out of control, careening around like a ball in a pinball machine.

  “Rose works for a living and her life is in LA,” her mother snapped. “For now. Her job is not to gallivant around at your beck and call like some sort of Gal Friday.”

  “Mom, I work for Greta’s clients. I’ll be traveling with Cole on his world tour from time to time, when my job requires it.”

  “And will your bodyguard be accompanying you?”

  “She only has a bodyguard—” I begin, but her mother cuts me off.

  “Because of you, Mr. Manchester.”

  Guess we’re back to formalities.

  We sit in silence that’s finally broken by Rose’s mother. “I’m going to the ladies’ room.” With that pronouncement, she leaves us at the table.

  I can’t control myself any longer. “Holy hell, Rose. What the fuck is going on?”

  “She’s just overprotective of me because of my father,” she says in a quiet voice.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you saw Marco?” His name comes out as a sneer.

  “He stopped by the house the other day. I told you before that his mother and my mom are best friends.”

  “Has he been in touch with you all these years?”

  “Off and on, mainly through our mothers. Although now he says he’d like to stay in touch.”

  “Are you going to? I take it he’s not married,” I snipe. I don’t like the sound of this, especially since he was her first love and her mother clearly approves of him.

  “No, and yes, he’s single.”

  I grab her hand. “Rose, I don’t understand what’s going on here. Your mom obviously hates me, and you seem distant.”

  Leaving her hand in mine, she replies, “Cole, I don’t want to lose myself in you and your larger-than-life career. I’m a publicist, and I’m good at what I do. I need to work with all my clients.” She pauses. “Your tour is going to last at least eight or nine months, and that’s a long time for us to be apart.”

  Is she trying to break up with me? Did I scare her off by telling her I love her? No, no, no. This can’t be happening.

  “Ro, you’re too important to me. I would never want you to give up your career for me. I know how amazing you are at it. Plus, I already told Gruesome I want you to manage my publicity on the tour, so we won’t be apart at all.” She does want to go on tour with me, right?

  Her mother returns to the table, and our conversation thankfully turns to much more innocuous topics such as movies and local sports. Shortly thereafter the waitress brings our meals, so chitchat is kept to a minimum. No one wants dessert, and before long, I’m walking them back to Rose’s mother’s car. I want to spend more time with Rose before my flight to Vegas tomorrow. I need to make sure she knows how much I love her. What she means to me. Her mother can’t derail us. She can’t.

  We stop in front of a white mid-sized sedan. “Ms. Bloomer, it was nice to finally meet the woman who made Rose the woman she is today.” That is the truth. I refuse to say it was a pleasure meeting her, though.

  “Cole,” she sticks out her hand. After shaking my hand, she marches over to the driver’s side and tosses my flowers into the backseat. She never invited me to call her by her first name.

  “Ro, come back with me. We need to work this out,” I say.

  Simultaneously, her mother calls out from the car, “C’mon Rose, let’s get going.”

  Raising her index finger at her mother, she replies, “I can’t, Cole. I’m only here one more day and I have to spend more time with her. My mother really is wonderful. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to see that side of her.”

  Frowning, and wishing I could raise a different finger to her mother, I say, “I wish you were coming with me to Vegas.”

  “Rose, let’s go!”

  She sighs and looks up at me. “You know I can’t. Greta will be there. I’ll see you in LA, okay? Do great at Ozzy’s concert.”

  “Damn. Yes, we’ll talk then.” I pull her in for a kiss, but the car’s horn blares. Really? Thank God this woman lives on the opposite coast from us.
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br />   I walk Rose around to the passenger side and open her door. Once she’s settled, I bend down and give her a chaste kiss, say good-bye to her mother and close the car door. I jump back to avoid being run over by Momzilla, who peels out of the parking lot.

  What. The. Fuck.

  “BYE, DAD.”

  After giving my father one last hug, I leave my childhood home and slide into the backseat of the car that’s waiting to bring me back into the city. Watching the scenery change from residential to the chaos of the New Jersey Turnpike, I keep replaying yesterday in my head. What was up with Ro? At least she texted me last night to let me know she got back to her mom’s house in one piece.

  Scrolling through my text messages, I open her last one and reread it: Thanks again for the spa & dinner. Make sure you go out with Emilie tonight to the Gramercy Hotel.

  Where is the teasing, sassy woman that I love? Her mother had to be filling her head with all sorts of crap. But why did she take such an immediate dislike to me? She didn’t even give me a shot.

  Finally, we arrive at my penthouse and I head up to my bedroom. As I’m placing the last of my clothes into my suitcase, the front door opens. “Hi Em,” I call out.

  Emilie wanders into my room. “Oh, hello, Cole. Welcome back. How was your visit with your family?”

  “Good.” I don’t feel any need to share my girlfriend issues with her. “And you? How’s the modeling biz?”

  Emilie gives me a tired smile. “It is going well. I have a break for the rest of the day, but there are more shows tomorrow.”

  “Rose says that we should be seen out in town tonight. Are you up for it? You look pretty beat.”

  Please say no, please say no. My nerves are stretched like a new guitar string, and I don’t want to play a part tonight before heading out to the airport. Especially given all the shit that’s going on with Rose.