In a Lifetime

by Ariadne Wayne

  “When did this happen?” I asked.

  “A few days ago. We decided to save the news for tonight. I hope you’ll be my best man,” Sam said, fixing his gaze on me.

  “As if I’d say no. When’s the wedding?”

  “In a few months. Ella has her heart set on the church near her parents’ place.”

  I nodded. “That’s up north somewhere, isn’t it?”

  “Kerikeri.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Christie sparking a conversation with Ella, taking a closer look at that glistening ring. Maybe she hadn’t seen what I thought she had; maybe she was feeling a bit like the odd one out, seeing as we all knew one another so well.

  It was weird, watching the woman I’d been in love with for what felt like forever with the woman I hoped to love. This was exciting, freeing, and at the same time it completely contradicted the suffocation that made it hard for me to breathe. Deep down, I was devastated that Ella would soon be tied to Sam for the rest of her life, even though I had known this would come one day.

  Truth was I didn’t know how to feel.

  CHRISTIE SMILED as I jumped into bed beside her, pulling her into my arms.

  “Thank you for tonight. I had fun,” she said, kissing me on the nose.

  “So did I.”

  She took a deep breath, averting her gaze.

  “What is it?” I was almost afraid to ask, but if I said nothing that might make things even worse.

  “Did you and Ella ever …?” She raised her eyes to meet mine, and I saw that sadness I’d seen at dinner.

  “No. She’s only ever been with Sam.”

  “She told me that if I hurt you, I’d have to answer to her.”

  She blinked back tears. This wasn’t what I’d been expecting. To me, it had seemed like they were getting on well.

  “We’ve been friends for a while now, and Sam and I have been best friends my whole life. Ella has a big heart. She worries.”

  “I hope that’s all it is.”

  I rubbed her arm. “It’s not anything else. Those two have been joined at the hip since the night they met. Trust me.”

  She nodded, dropping her gaze. “So, how long have you been in love with her?”

  I froze, the question punching me in the face.

  “Christie, I …”

  “You love her.” Christie’s voice sounded so small.

  “Don’t do this. You know I want to be with you.”

  I was lost in those deep, dark eyes. They were sad, and I knew the simple act of responding the way I had to Ella’s announcement had broken her heart. I could see it.

  “Do you?”

  “Taking you to meet my friends was a really big thing. I haven’t taken a girlfriend to meet them before. Hell, I’ve not had anyone who I’ve called my girlfriend in ages.”

  “Because you love her.”

  I grasped my forehead with my fingers, rubbing it, knowing I’d have to be completely honest or find a better way to lie. So far, she’d seen right through me.

  My mouth was dry as the desert, and I licked my lips, trying to summon up some courage. “When I first met Ella, I had feelings for her. But she’s with Sam, and now they’re getting married. I’m with you.”

  “So you don’t have feelings for her anymore?” I could tell from her tone that Christie already knew the answer.

  “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I’m happy for her and Sam. Their happiness means just as much to me.” I flicked a lock of straight brown hair from her shoulder. “The feelings I have for you are growing all the time.”

  “You can’t say you love me yet, though.” She had that puppy-dog look, the hopeful one, the one that had made me ask her out in the first place.

  “Only because it’s been six weeks. I like what we have; I’m enjoying us getting to know one another.”

  Christie frowned. “What if Ella and Sam break up later on? What about me?”

  “Maybe we need to not overthink things, and see how it all goes.” I slid my fingers under her chin. “You’re amazing.”

  She smiled a little, but I could see it in her eyes—she wasn’t sure if she should stick around to see what happened. She took a deep breath. “You’re pretty awesome yourself. That’s why I don’t know if I can do this.”

  I shook my head. “No. This isn’t the way to deal with this. I’m here with you, right where I want to be.”

  “Because she’s with him.”

  I could try my hardest to fight this, but she was right, and not giving an inch. It wasn’t because I didn’t care about Christie, and I wasn’t lying about wanting to be with her, but there was someone who was that much more important to me. Someone who, despite my attempts to keep my distance from, I’d still come running to if she clicked her fingers.

  I hated this feeling, and I loved it, torn between my heart that told me she might one day still be mine, and my head which told me the only way that would happen would be for Sam’s heart to break. That was the last thing I wanted to happen.

  Christie backed out of my arms and my bed, and as she dressed and walked away in silence, I knew there was nothing more I could do.

  So I let her go.

  7

  ELLA

  Ella missed Matt.

  She hadn’t realised how much until he stood on their doorstep with a woman she didn’t like. Ella didn’t know what it was about Christie, but there was something that gnawed at her from the moment she laid eyes on her. Maybe it was because she was tall and slim, everything Ella had always wanted to be. Maybe it was because she slotted nicely under Matt’s arm, falling easily into his embrace.

  When the three of them had been living together, Matt had been the calm to Sam’s storm. When they’d argued, Matt had been the peacemaker, soothing things over and making both Ella and Sam smile again. Living with only Sam had been hard to adjust to, but six months in, and they were happier than they’d ever been.

  Seeing Matt at the door all loved up with someone she didn’t know was plain weird.

  She’d set him up on dates with several of her friends, but this was different. Part of her had known Matt wouldn’t end up with the women she set him up with, but from what he’d told her, he’d been dating this one a little while and seemed serious.

  This wasn’t right. Sam had proposed, and she was the happiest she’d ever been with him. Becoming his wife would be the proudest moment of her life. But a black cloud had hung over her as she’d watched Christie and Matt, laughing and joking. No. This didn’t feel right.

  “Christie seems nice,” Sam said, wrapping his arms around her waist when they’d gone.

  “She does.”

  It was so stupid. What on earth did all this mean? It wasn’t like she was about to give up Sam to pursue Matt; she loved Sam and was going to marry him. Everything she ever wanted was in place—the man she wanted, the home she’d craved, and soon, the wedding she’d thought about her entire life.

  This was the man she would spend the rest of her life with, gladly and without reserve. When he’d asked her, she hadn’t hesitated to say yes, despite her father’s ongoing misgivings about their relationship. He hadn’t said why, wouldn’t, but there was a general unease between Sam and her father she didn’t understand. Sam doted on her.

  Her parents had helped them into their own home, given them their blessing. Ella had made it crystal clear that Sam was who she wanted, who she loved, and they had been supportive, regardless of whatever was going on with her father.

  “Matt’s a lucky man. Not as lucky as I am, though.” He bent his head, kissing her, taking her breath away, as he’d always done. She relaxed into him, closing her eyes as she buried her face in Sam’s chest.

  “You okay?” Sam whispered.

  “Happy. I can’t wait to marry you.”

  “I can’t wait to marry you. You’ll be such a beautiful bride. And then we’ll make beautiful babies.”

  She raised her face for another kiss, and
he obliged, this time gentle and lingering.

  “I plan on making you so happy. I want to grow old with you, Ella Brown.”

  Those were the words that made her melt. The words that made up for the rough times. When she was down, she thought of these moments between them. These were what made their life together worth it.

  “That’s what I want too. Can we go to bed now?” She pursed her lips for another kiss.

  “The dishes aren’t done.”

  She laughed. “Does it matter?”

  He wrapped his arms around her waist, twirling her around while she giggled. “I guess not. I’m not looking forward to the mess tomorrow if I do what I really want to do.”

  “What do you want to do?” She widened her eyes, trying to make herself appear as innocent as possible.

  Sam kissed her earlobe, nuzzling her neck. “Celebrate our engagement in style.”

  “Oh, Mr Mason. Whatever can you mean?”

  He took gentle bites of her neck, and she moaned, her whole body tingling in anticipation.

  “I think you know what I mean.”

  Sam let her go, taking her hand in his and pulling her toward the bedroom. Not that it took much for her to move. Sam was the star that shone brighter than any other in the sky, the man who had brought more to her life than anyone else had.

  She’d seen them both in her class; the two men were inseparable. When she’d found out about their parties, she’d decided to brave it and turn up. Sitting in the corner, she’d spotted Matt. He always had a smile on his face, and seemed so easy-going. Sam was more outgoing, and when Matt had disappeared partway through the evening, it made her decision about who to make a move on much easier.

  Ella had taken her opportunity, and never regretted a thing. Matt was her other best friend, gentle to Sam’s rough. All she wanted was for all of them to be happy, and right now she was, content to hold Sam’s hand and be led to the bed they’d shared for two years—the one they’d sleep in as newlyweds and beyond.

  In the bedroom, Sam’s kisses grew more urgent, his fingers dancing over her skin as they undressed one another. He was beautiful naked. Ella had never been thin. Sam had boosted her confidence to not care about any lumps and bumps. He loved her for her, and she revelled in the way he touched her, kissed her, and loved her.

  “Damn it, Ella. I could be half dead and you would make me hard.” He grinned, kissing her again, gripping her hair tight in his fist. Every nerve in her body was alive. His lips brushed down her neck as she closed her eyes, losing herself all over again. Her earlier discomfort was forgotten as her husband-to-be gave her the warm glow in her chest she’d become addicted to, and she surrendered completely to him.

  She laughed as they fell into bed, and he buried himself between her thighs, using his tongue until she cried out his name, bucking her hips toward his face. He moved over her, planting kisses on her neck in his favourite spot, where the line of freckles from her shoulder to her neck blazed a trail, and she gasped as he thrust into her, meeting his every movement with one of her own.

  As he sped up, Matt entered her thoughts again, uninvited, but not unwanted. Sam was everything, but some little part of her wondered what Matt’s lips would be like touching hers, grazing her skin. Sam sucked gently on her neck and she snapped back to reality, stroking his hair, losing herself in thoughts of him. Guilt sat on the surface for her rogue musings, but she pushed it down, focusing on Sam and their mutual pleasure.

  Sam groaned, smothering her with kisses. Ella giggled, gazing into those blue eyes she knew so well.

  “I love you,” she whispered. Sam rolled her to her side, pulling her in close to spoon.

  His hand on her breast told her this would be no early night.

  8

  MATT

  Ella and Sam were marrying in a small country church, not far from her family home. Sam hadn’t been keen on the venue, he would have been happy with the registry office, but seeing as Ella’s parents were paying for the wedding, he soon gave in.

  I trailed along behind them on their way to Kerikeri. Ella had insisted I stay with them in the lead up to the wedding. Her parents had a farm with a big old house on it, and we were all staying there. I smirked at the thought of Sam in the country. He had been the one to fall in love with the noise of the city, and being out in the middle of nowhere was not his thing. Not that he’d ever tell Ella that.

  The farm had sheep and a handful of cows, and I drove slowly as we approached the house, taking in the view. Sam and I both came from small towns, but neither of us had spent much time in the country other than on school trips. One thing was clear—Ella had grown up in what seemed to be paradise.

  It wasn’t so far out of town to be inconvenient. Schools and shops were only minutes away, but the air was clean and sweet. We arrived so early that the grass was still covered in dew, and I shivered as I climbed out the car.

  “Did we have to leave at five a.m., Ella?” Sam wrapped his arms around himself as he joined me.

  “I wanted to avoid the traffic. We’re here now; stop complaining.” Ella exited the driver’s side of their car, walking around and pushing her hands through the gap between Sam’s arms and his body, snuggling up to him.

  “I’m not complaining. Did I sound like I was?” He bent his head while she rested hers on his shoulder.

  “You’re always complaining.” I grinned and winked at Ella.

  “Oi. You’ll have to stop that flirting in a few days. Once the delectable Ella is Mrs Mason,” Sam said.

  I laughed. “That’s in a few days. Right now is open slather.”

  “Slather? I don’t think I like the sound of that.” Ella’s throaty laugh echoed in the quiet morning.

  “I’ll protect you.” Sam tried to glare at me, but failed with that silly grin on his face.

  He pulled away from Ella, turning and wrapping his arms around her. Bending his head, he kissed her in a big open-mouthed movement that left Ella blushing and me dropping my gaze.

  “Is that right?” She gasped when he broke contact.

  “You can count on it.”

  I didn’t need to see his face to see that loving look he had for her. I’d seen it enough over the past couple of years. There was no denying how happy I was for the pair of them, even if I did wish I were in his place.

  “Come on, you sappy lovebirds. Let’s get inside and out of the cold before Sam freezes to death.”

  Ella laughed. “You need to come and meet my family, Matt. I promise they’ll love you.”

  “Maybe your sister will love him, too,” Sam said.

  My ears pricked up at that, though I didn’t know if hooking up with Ella’s sister was a great idea.

  “Don’t you dare try to push them together. She’s too young, and besides, if I’ve learned anything from my failed matchmaking, it’s that Matt needs to find someone himself. Apparently I have no idea about who’s compatible with him.” Ella winked at me, and I laughed, shaking my head.

  There hadn’t been anyone serious since Christie four months ago. I’d been out a few times, but nothing had come close to being serious. That suited me for now.

  I trailed behind them as we walked to the front door, Ella tapping twice before pushing it open and calling out. In an instant, her family surrounded us, all crowding to hug and congratulate Ella and Sam.

  “Third wheel, huh?” Ella’s dad shook my hand. He had a strong handshake, and weathered skin, his years working outside obvious. “You must be Matt. We’ve heard all about you.”

  I nodded. “It’s good to meet you, Mr Brown.”

  “We weren’t sure for a while which one Ella was with, she spoke about you both so much.”

  “Dad.” Ella rolled her eyes, gritting her teeth.

  “Matty’s my best friend, but you’re stuck with me.” Sam laughed.

  “We’re happy to be stuck with you, Sam.” Ella’s mother spoke. I could see where Ella got her looks from; she shared features with her mother.

&nb
sp; Not so much could be said for the young woman who now stood in front of us. “Hey, Smella.”

  That must be the sister Ella had spoken about. She was the polar opposite of Ella, with light brown hair hanging in plaits, hazel eyes, and a sparkling nose piercing, not to mention the jeans and cut off T-shirt she wore, exposing her flat, tanned stomach. I wanted to ask her if she was cold, but bit my tongue.

  “That doesn’t work as well as Rubella.” Ella laughed, reaching for her sister to hug.

  “Not all of us are as creative as you.” Ella’s sister peeked over her shoulder at me, one eyebrow popping up. “So this is Matt?”

  “Yes, it is. Matt, this is my little sister, Vanessa.”

  Vanessa let go of Ella, raising her chin to me. “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  “Why don’t you set me up with him, Ell?”

  Ella laughed. “Because you’re sixteen and he’s twenty-five?”

  “Pfft. Since when does age matter?”

  I grinned, shaking my head. “I like your sister, Ella. Quite the comedian.”

  Vanessa winked. “I aim to please.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m not into younger women. Especially children.” I tried to straighten my expression as much as possible, failing as my lips refused to stop smiling.

  She pulled away from Ella, straightening up to her five-foot nothing height. “I’m no child.”

  Ella tugged at my arm and laughed. “I’m sorry for my little sister. She’s jealous of me.”

  Vanessa rolled her eyes. “As if.” She put her index finger to her mouth, swaying as she looked me over. “If you need anything, let me know.”

  “There is one thing you can help me with.”

  Ella and her sister had identically cocked eyebrows, I swear.

  “What’s that?”

  “Put a jumper on. You’ll get hypothermia with all that skin exposed.”

  Vanessa grinned. “I like this one, Ella. You can keep him.”

  “Thanks, I think,” I muttered, as she waltzed off up the hallway. To get changed, I assumed.