Rock Me

by Phillips, Carly

  “What if I go pick up some fresh food at the grocery store?” she offered. “Oh, wait! There are eggs in here. And bread,” she said, reaching into the back of the fridge. She glanced at both, studying dates. “And they’re not expired!” She sounded like she’d hit the lottery.

  At least his father had enough food in the house for a meal and a supermarket run wasn’t also on today’s agenda. Because even though they were far from the city, Ben wasn’t leaving Summer alone.

  “I’m really grateful you’re offering, but you don’t need to cook for him,” he tried again.

  “He needs protein,” she insisted, and began to search the kitchen for plates, silverware, and a frying pan, lining the counter with the items she needed, her ponytail bouncing behind her.

  Summer got to work and Ben headed to deal with his father, pausing in the entry to the kitchen and turning around. She hummed while she busied herself, first cleaning up the dishes in the sink and loading the dishwasher before getting to work.

  “Summer…”

  She glanced over her shoulder, those big eyes meeting his.

  He meant to say thank you. To somehow find a way to express his gratitude, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead he stalked back into the room and pulled her into his arms, his embrace hopefully communicating what he wasn’t able to say.

  Just the fact that she was here, that she’d insisted on joining him when she could have waited at home, said something about the depth of the relationship they had and chose not to discuss.

  “You’re a special woman, Summer. I really didn’t want to do this alone,” he finally admitted, kissing the top of her head.

  “I want to be here for you.”

  He warned himself to ignore not just the fragrant scent that enveloped him but the twisting of his heart at her words. Words he wished she meant for a lot longer than this one crisis.

  “Ben!”

  His father’s call interrupted his wayward thoughts. “Coming, Dad!”

  She stepped back and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’ll get his breakfast going. Want anything?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “No thanks. I’m not hungry.” Not for food, anyway.

  He was hungry for Summer. All of her and not just sex. Her support today made him realize how much he longed for more than she was able to give. They could be a good team … if the world stage wasn’t waiting.

  * * *

  Summer finished cooking breakfast for Ben’s father, which he devoured in less than two minutes flat. Scrambled eggs and toast. That was about all she could manage for him, but he hadn’t seemed to care what was on the plate. She didn’t know if Nate was hungover or just starving after his night in jail, but he grunted about how good the food was as he ate.

  She covertly studied him, her gaze going from Nate to Ben and back again. Although Nate’s skin was sallow and his face drawn, Summer saw traces of his son in his features. He had probably been a handsome man years ago, before he’d let life beat him down. She swallowed over the lump in her throat, trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her. Ben had enough to deal with without her getting upset on his behalf.

  He waited for his father to finish eating before turning a kitchen chair around and straddling the back, facing the older man. “Dad, we need to talk.”

  Summer took that as her cue. “I’ll go into the other room,” she said. She could finish the dishes later.

  “No.” Ben met her gaze, imploring her with his eyes. “Stay. Please.”

  She nodded and picked up his father’s plate, carrying it over to the sink before leaning against the counter and waiting. She didn’t know where this conversation would be going, and her heart beat hard inside her chest.

  “Dad, here’s the situation,” Ben began. “This was a one-shot deal. I won’t be bailing you out again. If you get arrested, you’re on your own.”

  His father’s shoulders hunched over, his posture defeated. “It’s never happened before.”

  Ben set his jaw, his shoulders tense and straight. “And it can’t happen again. Either you get yourself help—real help—or I won’t be answering the phone when you need a bar tab paid or God forbid you kill someone driving drunk.” Ben’s face flushed red as he spoke, and she knew, without a doubt, how difficult this was for him.

  She hadn’t wanted to embarrass Nate Hollander by staying and listening to whatever it was Ben intended to say, but she now realized that was part of his plan. Shock, embarrass, and hopefully get his father to hear him and finally get help for his problem.

  Ben was a good, decent man, and he wouldn’t want to abandon his father in his time of need, but it was obvious, both from the run-down condition of the house and Nate’s lack of caring about much of anything, that Ben had no choice.

  “I don’t know if I can stop.” Nate stared at his hands clutched tightly together.

  Ben’s gaze narrowed. “You mean you don’t know if you want to. It’s not going to be easy, Dad, but I’ll support you as long as you’re trying.”

  The silence in the wake of Ben’s statement was deafening, Summer thought.

  “I have a friend who goes to AA.” Nate finally spoke up. “Maybe I could call him.” He glanced up at his son, as if asking whether that was enough of a concession.

  “That’s a start. But you have to want to sober up. You need to face your problems and your life. You want to do that? I’ll be there.” He tipped his head toward Summer. “You ready?” he asked, obviously not expecting a definitive answer from his father right now … or miracles after dropping his ultimatum.

  “I, umm, I wanted to wash the dirty dishes.” She gestured to the pan and plate she’d left in the sink.

  Ben shook his head. “You already cleaned up his mess. He can handle this one,” he said in a firm voice that told her he wouldn’t accept any argument.

  “Okay.” She walked toward where Ben stood in the kitchen entrance, pausing by his father at the table. “It was nice to meet you, Mr. Hollander. I hope you feel better soon.”

  He lifted his head. “Thank you, Summer. I appreciate your help.”

  It was the first acknowledgment he’d given her, and she smiled before letting Ben lead her out of the house and back to his car.

  She waited until they were settled and on the way back to Manhattan before she spoke. “That was strong, the way you handled him.”

  “I feel like shit,” he said, his words honest and raw.

  “Of course you do.” She reached over and grabbed his hand, holding on tight. He could drive with his free hand. “But you had no choice. You can’t enable him and you’re right. The next time, he could kill or hurt someone … or himself.”

  “I hope he realizes that himself.”

  She lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to his skin. “You did the best you could.”

  “I wish to God you didn’t have to see him like that,” he said.

  “I don’t judge you based on your father,” she said. “I’m just glad I could be there for you.”

  “I wish you always could be.” She knew the words had slipped out, the emotions of the day at the surface for Ben.

  And her eyes filled with tears because he’d never know how much she wished the same thing.

  Chapter Ten

  Summer was folding clothes in her room, having done laundry, and Ben sat on the couch, checking work email on his laptop. He’d had a few peaceful days with no stress from Summer’s schedule and no word from his father. He hadn’t expected to hear from Nate, and he wasn’t of the mindset that no news was good news, because his silence could just as easily mean he’d gone back to his drinking rather than make an attempt to sober up. Time would tell.

  As for Summer, she didn’t have another engagement planned until a media junket over the following weekend. According to her agent, Jade’s tour opened in a little over two months and she was getting closer to making a decision. As much as Ben wanted Summer’s dreams to come true, he wasn’t looking forward to the end of this assignme
nt. The end of them. He hadn’t listened to his gut or his own words to Summer, and kept his distance.

  He’d introduced her to his friends and colleagues and brought her into his fractured family life. She knew him better than even those at Alpha Security who were closest to him. And she’d supported him in ways that he’d never let anyone else do.

  He’d allowed her to see the weakest part of him, and instead of running away, she’d stepped up. Hell, she’d cooked for his old man. She’d been quiet when he needed silence to process the day, and open and giving when he’d needed her later that night.

  And he knew her. From her hopes and dreams of success to her endearing insecurities before going on stage, he understood her. He wanted to protect the girl who’d been hurt by her parents from further pain, and at the same time he wished he could shake them and make them be there for her when she needed them.

  This was the closest he’d let himself get to any woman in his life, and losing her was going to rip his heart out because he’d fallen in love with her.

  He’d been too wrapped up in his anger with his father to see it then, but looking back, he’d known it the second he’d seen her making eggs for his hungover dad. Ponytail bouncing against her back, no judgment in her gaze, she was his perfect woman. No matter how big a star she became, he loved the normal girl she was inside.

  And fuck. That thought ripped through him painfully, because there was no happy ending that he could see. The upcoming feeding frenzy with the press junket might be the last event before her life’s direction took a drastic change. He refused to consider that she wouldn’t get the opportunity she deserved, because he didn’t want to be with her only because she’d lost her big chance. She’d never be happy that way. Not even with him by her side.

  He ran a hand through his hair and groaned just as an email popped up on his screen from Dan. He opened the note from his boss and read: No luck with Tawny Renee situation. From all indications, she’s absorbed in her own opportunities. Even her bodyguard interview came up empty. He thinks she’s innocent of all wrongdoing against Summer. Still watching her though.

  As for Michael Gold, the man was a piece of work. He’d married into money and had gotten his start thanks to his father-in-law being in the talent industry. And his wife, with whom he had three children, was a brilliant entertainment lawyer. He’d been treading water as an agent before he’d gone to work for his father-in-law, owing everything to the older man. Or so it seemed. So he was greedy and a slimy asshole, but nothing stood out on him, either, in Dan’s report. Which meant until whoever was after Summer made a mistake, they were shit out of luck.

  Summer walked out of her room, wearing a pair of ripped leggings and an oversized sleep shirt. Makeup-free, she looked even younger and so beautiful.

  “Hey.” She treated him to a wide smile.

  “Hey yourself,” he said.

  “So I was thinking,” she said as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, clearly wired.

  “What’s up?”

  “I need a change of scenery. I want to get away from these walls that feel like they’re closing in on me.”

  He narrowed his gaze, his focus on her safety, as always. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Well…” Her eyes glimmered with excitement. “When we were driving out to your father’s, I saw a carnival off one of the exits. The Ferris wheel was in the distance. And it was closer rather than farther from the city, and I want to go.” She settled in next to him on the sofa and nudged his arm. “And before you argue, it’s spur of the moment, so nobody will know we’re going except us. It’s perfectly safe.” She folded her arms across her chest and met his gaze, all but daring him to argue.

  He tossed around the idea in his mind. Crowds of people, yes, but she had a point when she said nobody would know where they were going in order to follow them.

  “A carnival, hmm?” he asked, deliberately dragging out his decision, teasing her a little.

  She nodded. “The kind with cotton candy, funnel cake, rides, and games where you can win me a stuffed animal. Come on, please? Please? Pretty please,” she said, a grin on her pretty face as she tried to pester him into agreeing.

  Having just accepted his feelings for her, there was very little he wouldn’t give her while he could … as long as she was safe.

  He groaned, pretending to be put out at the idea … more teasing on his end before giving in.

  “Pretty please with sugar on top?”

  He laughed, then nodded his head in agreement. “Fine. We’ll go.”

  “Wait. What? Really? Thank you!” She squealed in excitement and clapped her hands with glee before leaning in and kissing him hard but quickly.

  Too quickly, considering he’d rather pull her down on the sofa and find himself balls deep in her wet heat.

  “I’m going to change!”

  She ran into her room, and while she was there, he catalogued his own clothes, deciding his jeans and a tee shirt would be fine. He holstered his gun beneath the shirt just as she bounced back out to him, this time wearing a pair of light jeans, a faded gray tee shirt, and sneakers, a pair of aviator glasses dangling from her fingertips.

  He grinned at the sight. “Wait. I have an idea.” He strode to his duffel in her room and returned with a New York Mets ball cap, plunking it down on her head, tugging on her braid for good measure. “There. We want you as disguised as possible.”

  “Not that I think anyone will recognize me but okay.” She patted the brim of the hat, her big eyes peeking out from beneath.

  She wrinkled her nose, her expression fucking cute.

  “Mark my words, no one will recognize me. Today we’re just a normal couple out for a day of fun.”

  And he intended to savor every last second.

  * * *

  Summer was having a blast. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d gone to a carnival or festival for the pure fun of it, not to perform and entertain. The day was warm, the sun overhead as she and Ben walked around the site, arm in arm. Wanting to take advantage of her time here, she coaxed him on every ride imaginable, from the Ferris wheel she’d seem from the highway to the other rides like the Round Up and Scrambler, to the more sedate carousel.

  Ben was a great sport, not once complaining about the type of ride she’d cajoled him onto or all the junk food she ate. Their current stop was the cotton candy stand, where she watched a woman turn spun sugar into a coated sticky delicious treat.

  Ben hadn’t let her pay for a thing, so after he’d taken care of buying her latest indulgence, they walked to an empty bench and took a seat. She scooped a finger full of candy and held it out for him to taste.

  His heavy-lidded eyes met hers as he grasped her wrist, lifted her hand, and swirled his tongue around the soft, sugary treat, pulling her finger into his mouth and biting down on the tip. An electric jolt traveled straight to her sex, and she was unable to control the low moan that escaped her throat, her nipples tightening, moisture pooling between her thighs.

  “You’re a bad girl,” he said in a husky voice, his gaze hot on hers.

  She grinned in reply. “You started it.”

  “I’d finish it, too, if we weren’t sitting in a public place.”

  She squirmed in her seat, her sex damp and desire flooding through her.

  “Excuse me.” Two young girls walked over, interrupting them.

  “Yes?” Ben asked.

  “Hi,” Summer said, using a tone warmer than her bodyguard had.

  “Umm, aren’t you Summer Michelle? I saw you on The Morning Show.”

  She pursed her lips in thought. A part of her wanted to give the girls what they wanted, but this was her day out with Ben. She’d assured him they were safe, and she intended to keep them that way.

  “No, I’m not. But you’re not the first people to think that,” she said, trying to lighten their obvious disappointment. They’d been hoping for a mini-celebrity sighting.

  “Okay, well, s
orry to have bothered you,” the other girl said. She nudged her friend as they walked away. “I told you it wasn’t her! You’re so ridiculous.” Giggling, they headed off toward one of the rides.

  Summer glanced up at Ben. “See? We’re just a normal couple out for a day at the carnival,” she said, punctuating her statement with a bite of cotton candy.

  He stared at her for so long she grew uncomfortable and wiped at imaginary pink sugar on her face. “What?” she finally asked.

  “You just surprised me, that’s all. For someone who wants fame, you just turned down the chance for an autograph and photo op with fans.

  She shrugged. “I think that would be obvious. I love to sing. I want to be recognized for my voice. It’s about the music, not being identified everywhere I go or losing my anonymity.” She blushed as she said, “I’m really shy at heart.”

  “I love that about you,” he said, his eyes softening as he spoke. “Promise me something?”

  She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “What?” she asked softly.

  “Whatever happens in the future, don’t change.” He leaned closer, his lips hovering over hers. “Don’t lose that innate sweetness inside of you, okay?”

  “Okay.” She couldn’t imagine being anything or anyone other than what or who she was.

  Her eyes fluttered closed, and his lips touched hers, so gently it brought tears to her eyes. He prolonged the kiss, but it didn’t grow hot, heavy, or hungry. Instead it was an honest, genuine expression of feelings. Feelings he held inside and didn’t express with words.

  Emotions she felt building and growing inside her every day and wished she could set free, but she refrained. Given the constraints of the time they had together and the earlier promises she’d made, it was better to hold the words close to her heart.

  “Hey, how about I win you that stuffed animal you wanted?” he offered.

  She grinned and placed her hand in his, determined to focus on the here and now. Not the uncertain future.

  * * *

  Ben drove them home an hour later, a huge stuffed animal in the back seat. He was uncharacteristically relaxed, having enjoyed today more than any in recent memory. They ordered in dinner and passed out early, only to be awakened by the incessant buzzing of a phone. His sat quietly on the nightstand.