by S. E. Babin
The woman's posture went ramrod. She spun on her heel and walked away.
A low, amused chuckle rang from behind my ear. "If you'd put on a show like that on set, no director in their right mind would have let you go."
I clenched my teeth together. My entire body stiffened. Just the sound of his voice put me on edge. "Nice to see you're on time," I said, my teeth gritting between every word. "Now leave me alone. I'm working." I didn't even turn around for fear the sight of him in a suit would put me even closer to the edge.
"Such a pity," Seth said in a low voice. "You never should have left."
"I'm going to murder you and feed your bones to the crows," I whispered.
An amused snort came from behind me. "You're so imaginative when you're angry," he whispered. I heard him shuffle and could only assume he settled back against the pew because he said nothing else to me. The back of my neck prickled with what I felt had to be his stare, but then I didn't want to think about it because it made me sound egotistical. Seth wasn't staring at me. He was probably scoping out someone young and nubile for his next conquest. I, on the other hand, was here for a job and Seth's compliment, though rude, did give me the tingles. I had done pretty well with that old biddy.
But...it was bugging me. I hadn't had a choice about leaving the set. I was escorted out. It was confusing to me that he thought I had a choice. I lost the battle of thoughts and was about to turn around and ask him for clarification when Emma and Sissy sat down on either side of me.
The moment was lost.
Thank goodness.
I wasn't sure I could bear to hear his answer.
I gave Sissy a healthy glare and we held a silent conversation with each other. Her face went sheepish and her shoulders drooped. "Sorry," she murmured under her breath. I let out a huff and didn't acknowledge her. I reached over and took Emma's hand and she let me. She was cold and her hands were slightly clammy. With my other free hand, I pulled out a pack of tissues I'd tucked into the side pocket of my purse and handed them to her. She accepted with a grateful nod. Sissy stared at us and shifted in her seat.
Her father came over a few minutes later and sat beside her, though I noticed she didn't acknowledge him. There was a fracture in this family and I wasn't sure how it was going to be repaired. I'd always heard that sometimes death made fractures like these deeper until they weren't just cracks anymore. They were openings as wide as the Grand Canyon and nothing could repair them. I wanted to reach out, put them together, and glue all of those cracks back together, but I was nothing to them. An employee. Someone who was being paid to perform a service for them. The sooner I realized this, the sooner I could walk away. Part of me wanted that, to walk away and never have to do this again. But part of me liked this family. I cared about what they thought. I wanted them to know that I shared their grief because I could feel his absence in their home in a palpable way. I wanted them to see that they didn't have to make anyone think of Chase any way other than the way they knew him, because no one else but them mattered.
We had an awkward ten or so minutes of total silence before the pastor came up to begin the service. Chase's casket lay elevated but it was closed. I always wondered about this… why people decided to have open or closed caskets. Sometimes it was obvious, or at least I thought it was, accidents or violent deaths usually ended with a closed casket, but sometimes families chose them anyway. Sitting here now, I thought maybe I grasped why.
I'm not sure I could handle seeing someone I loved laying there lifeless, everything I loved about them gone. Would I rather see them one last time or remember them the way I knew them? I thought about my mother and father and tears sprang to my eyes. To know I'd never hear one of my dad's corny jokes or one of my mother's loving rebukes again...I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep myself together. I gave Emma's hand a slight squeeze and glanced over to her. Her gaze was glued to the mahogany wood of her son's resting place. Her eyes, always so tired, were sunken and haunted and grief had etched its place into the lines of her skin. This would not be his final resting place, but I wasn't so sure it mattered to Emma. Either way, her son was gone too soon. I pulled her hand into my lap and covered it with my other, holding it securely between my warm palms.
Sometimes you didn't have to be paid and sometimes things weren't an act.
The pastor practiced a rehearsed speech before turning things over to family and friends. Though I didn't know any of the people very well, some of them told stories about Chase that made me want to weep. Acts of kindness or thoughtfulness he had done, shifts he had taken so people could spend more time with their families, many of the small things that people thought didn’t really matter until the person who had done them was gone.
It's in the living that we become forgetful or callous. It's in the dying that we remembered those tiny sparks of generosity were what made us so intensely human. No one who worked with Chase knew he had a heart problem, and the few people who spoke remarked on it. One woman, a pretty brunette with soft gray eyes, remarked that Chase's heart had grown too big for the world. Emma sobbed at this and at Sissy's look, I quietly switched places with her.
Gary glanced at me and patted my knee in a fatherly way. "Thank you," he whispered in his gruff voice.
I nodded and discreetly pulled a tissue from the side of my purse to wipe away the tears that had fallen.
Emma was called to the front to speak. She pulled a small slip of paper from her hand and rose, a mother and a woman who was currently being tested by the world. She wore another knee-length black shift dress and sedate black heels. Her silver hair was pulled back in a soft chignon and her lips were pressed together in grief. Emma walked slowly up to the podium, studied everyone who was here and spoke.
"My son was a good man. A lot of people didn't think so." I blinked in surprise. A few surprised gasps came from the audience. "But the wonderful thing about Chase was he didn't care what people thought about him. He was kind and generous and he stayed with me long after he should have been building a beautiful life for himself, simply because I thought I could help him more." She paused and lifted a shaky hand to wipe her tears. "I was wrong. The thing was Chase didn't need me to help him. I was the one who needed him. Knowing you have a child you could lose at any moment brought out the worst in me. I clung to him because I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, and I lost him anyway. There was nothing I could have done to make up for the faulty heart genetics and perhaps fate, if you believe in that sort of stuff, had given to him. What I could have done was not clung so tightly. What I could have done was love him fiercely enough to know that letting him go was the right thing to do. What I could have done...I didn't. So, I'm doing it now." She looked at the people gathered today. "For all of you who whispered about him, know that Chase knew it. And know that he didn't care. But I cared, even when I shouldn't have. For all the small-minded people sitting here today just for the chance at a bit of gossip, know that my family and I know who you are."
From my peripheral I could see Sissy's mouth first drop open, then a wide smile took the place of the shock. Beside me Gary stiffened only to chuckle after a moment.
"That's the mom I always knew," Sissy whispered.
"There's one thing about family a lot of people don't realize," Emma continued. "There's no rulebook denoting that the same genetic material is required. And for those who insist that nothing matters but family, I cannot help but insist back that you are wrong. Chase's family is us, his friends who came here to support him, and those who respected him enough to take a few hours out of their day to say a final goodbye to him." Emma grinned at me, and I looked around thinking she was smiling at someone else. "And for those third cousins who insist they know what we want or think they can dictate anything in our lives? You are also wrong." She gestured to Chase's casket. "My son always told me that I was stronger than I thought and that I let too many people force their will on me." She dabbed her eyes again. "He was right. Today, for him, I release that. For my son,
I'm releasing a lot of things and living the way he always did. I'm going to go home tonight, get that bottle of whiskey he thought I didn't know about from his room, and watch Alaskan Ice Truckers until my eyes cross."
Sporadic laughter came from the audience, probably from those who knew how much he adored that show. Emma stepped down from the podium. Sissy stood first and applauded loudly. Gary stood next, then me, until maybe forty percent of the room stood. I turned around, avoiding making eye contact with Seth, and let my gaze sweep the room. The rest of them looked like they'd tasted something sour. A murmur began to rise from the crowd, hushed whispers with an undercurrent of anger sweeping through the room.
From the corner of my eye, someone by the front doors caught my eye. Just as I focused on them, they turned, a sweep of dark hair swinging with their movement. My heart caught in my throat. The woman wore a short blue mini skirt, a white beaded blouse, and high-heeled black boots.
Surely it couldn't be? I stepped out of the pew and rushed to the back, the blood roaring in my veins. By the time I got there and peeked out, the mystery woman was gone. I hurried through the doors and into the parking lot, but I couldn't find her. As I started to go back to my seat, I was rushed with dozens of people leaving the chapel. I stepped out of their way in a hurry because they looked like an angry herd. When I got back to my seat, the atmosphere in the room had turned weird.
Well...weird in a good way. Everyone who was left filled in the seats from the back up so now there were only about four rows filled. Emma looked serene. Sissy looked befuddled. Gary looked ecstatic.
I accidentally made eye contact with Seth. He was staring at me like I'd suddenly grown another head and the new head had started speaking Swahili.
I frowned at him but as I was about to retake my seat, Sissy scooted over and gestured for me to sit by Emma again. When I sat down, she reached over and patted me on the knee. "Thank you," she whispered.
I wasn't sure what she was thanking me for. At my quizzical glance, she grinned. "Sometimes it takes a stranger to make you strong again."
I swallowed hard, not sure I was comfortable taking the credit for what just happened. I hadn't done much more than my job. Since it was about over, I didn't think I deserved anything other than a paycheck for dressing in too-tight, uncomfortable clothes and acting like a jerk when someone talked to me.
I had a weird job.
A few more people got up to speak and the atmosphere became a lot lighter. Some of the guests who spoke ribbed Emma about her outspoken speech, but they all told her they were proud of her. At the end of it, and when the pastor came back up to tell us about the refreshments being served down the hall, we all stood. Emma was swarmed with people and I stepped to the side and let her make peace with the family and friends who were left. I walked out of the chapel and made my way to the kitchen.
As I poured myself a coffee, I felt a presence at my elbow. With the way my skin tingled, I knew it was Seth.
"Nothing weird happened," I announced. "You're free to go." When I finished dumping an obscene amount of cream and sugar in my cup, I lifted my gaze to see him still looking at me in the same way he was before.
"What?" I snapped. I stepped away from the coffee and grabbed a table before the entire place was mobbed with people. Although, with the mass exodus, maybe seating wouldn't be so difficult now.
"You really affected this family," Seth said as he pulled a chair on the opposite side of the table and sat down facing me.
"Like a virus?" I quipped, waiting for his punchline.
"No, Kitty. In a profound way."
I sipped my coffee, my heart picking up speed, as I tried to gauge the sincerity of his words. After a moment, I cleared my throat. "I just did my job."
He shook his head slowly. "My aunt has a good sense. She picks the best and she challenges them. She has never given someone a challenge like this right up front." A self-deprecating grin crossed his mouth. "I suspect this had a little bit to do with me, but I also think she wanted to see what you were capable of. I think my aunt is right about you."
Silence fell. We were the only two people in the room and I was beginning to become very aware of it. "I did nothing out of the ordinary," I insisted.
"I know," he admitted. "That's what makes you extraordinary."
A sigh escaped my lips. "Seth, please don't."
He held up his hands. "Stop. Don't take this in any other way than as a compliment from one professional to another. You're incredible, Kitty. I don't know why you left."
I set my mug down. My body turned into a livewire. "I left," I said, my voice a sibilant hiss, "because I was escorted out the door by your security personnel. And not only that, I was blacklisted by the director."
Seth rocked back in his seat like I slapped him. "No."
"Yes."
I was about to stand when he reached over and placed a hand on my arm. "No. Please stay. Kitty -" He ran a hand through his hair. "They told me you decided to quit. I had no idea. I thought about coming to get you, but it was such an awkward situation. I - I regret that."
I blinked in shock, even as I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. "You didn't demand my removal?"
He shook his head.
I stared at the man I had hated for so long. His sandy hair was combed perfectly, not a hair out of place. His honey brown eyes gazed at me with nothing but sincerity. His long tanned fingers rested on my arm. That rage had made me. It had motivated me. Without it, I felt emptiness. This incident had ended my career.
"You did nothing," I accused, because it was the only thing I had left.
"I didn't know."
"You didn't ask any questions. How could you assume I would leave and turn tail? Do I seem that weak to you?"
His nose flared in response and he removed his hand from my arm. "I'm sorry. It was a misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding doesn't involve me getting thrown off the set in a very public and humiliating way. How in the world could you have missed that?"
His lips pressed together. "They don't tell the main actors a lot of things. To protect them." He shrugged. "This was the kind of incident they'd want to shut down immediately. It's the kind of thing that brings drama and bad press and can screw up filming."
"You were the one who approached me. Who kissed me."
He nodded. "I know."
A snort escaped me. "I'm sorry. I'm going to leave now." I scooted back my chair and stood.
"I could make a few calls," he offered. “Maybe help you get back to LA.”
I laughed. "Oh wonderful. Pity calls. That's exactly what I want now." The sound of voices rising came from down the hall. I had to get away from him, first, because I wanted to and, second, because I was supposed to be acting as Chase's fiancée for at least the next hour. Then it would be over and then I could concentrate on avoiding Seth, as much as possible. If I kept telling myself this, maybe I could actually make it happen soon.
12
People hit the refreshment room and descended on the food tables like a wave of hungry sharks. I barely escaped the room in time. Emma and her family were heading up the rear of the line. I waved and made my way to them.
"How's it going?" she asked.
"It's fine. Only one person tried to talk to me today."
"Third cousin?" Emma grinned.
"Third cousin," I confirmed.
Gary reached out and patted me on the back. "Thanks for everything, Kitty. Today was a tough day." His gaze met his wife's. "I suspect we have a lot of those coming our way. But you being here has made a lot of difference for Emma."
I gave him a watery smile, still uncomfortable with the praise. "Is there anything you need me to do? Or just hang around and look suspicious?"
Sissy snorted. "I like your dress. It's not quite Candy, but it's revealing enough to pass."
"Thanks. My mom wants grandbabies so she expects me to use it more than once."
A low, amused snort from behind made me cri
nge. Emma's eyebrows raised. "Oh? Who's this?"
I turned and shot Seth a heated glare. He grinned at me.
"Emma, Sissy, Gary, this is Seth Morrow. He's from the agency." And my worst enemy, I wanted to add, but was he still? I wasn't quite sure.
Gary stuck his hand out and they shook. Emma and Sissy merely stared. I knew what was about to happen as soon as I saw Emma's brow furrow. "You look...familiar."
I rolled my eyes as Seth turned on his movie star personality. He winked at my expression and told the McCormick family where they might know him from. Gary seemed like he didn't care so he left them in mid-conversation and headed to the refreshment room. I was about to excuse myself when Emma cut Seth off. "Listen, we have some people coming over after the funeral. Just a small group, maybe 15-20 folks. There's a bunch of casseroles in the second fridge in the basement. Do you think you and Kitty could go back to the house and maybe start to heat those up?" There was a suspicious twinkle in her eye. "I know it's not in your job description, but it would be a huge help. Kitty, you can leave right after that, if you want, but I hope you'd stay for a little while and eat with us. Just as a thank you."
"I can go and take care of it. I'm sure Seth has other things to do." I narrowed my gaze, but she kept up the innocent act.
"Seth can speak for himself," Seth said. "And Seth doesn't mind at all." He fired a heartwarming grin in Emma's direction.
If I had a flame-thrower, I'd shoot him with it. Or a gun. Or a... anything. It didn't matter.
"Fine," I said, and even I could hear the annoyance in my tone.
"Thank you, honey," Emma said. "I'm sure you could use the help." Her grin widened and I knew she was deliberately trying to set me up. The wily old fox.
"I'm sure Candy Harper wouldn't need the help," I grumbled.
