Mourning Routine (The Funeral Fakers Book 1)

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Mourning Routine (The Funeral Fakers Book 1) Page 12

by S. E. Babin


  Her grin widened. "Candy Harper wouldn't have said yes in the first place." She shooed us away. "Now go. We'll be home in an hour or two, so I want to make sure those are thawed before I stick them in the oven. We don't want to eat at ten o'clock tonight." She turned to Seth. "Please take care of Kitty."

  "I'd like nothing better."

  Emma and her family walked away.

  "I'm going to murder you," I hissed.

  "We are at a funeral home. I'd say hurry up and do it. It would be a one stop shop."

  A laugh bubbled from me. "I really don't need the help."

  "I know," he said. "But I'm not going to say no to a grieving mother who obviously wants to see a love connection."

  "There is no love connection."

  "Aww, Kitty. You don't believe in love?"

  "I don't believe you can love anyone but your reflection in the mirror." Something like genuine hurt flashed in his gaze, but he shot a wicked grin at me.

  "Besides, we need to talk about your suspicions again. I heard a couple of things today you might be interested in."

  Intrigued in spite of myself, I tossed my keys to him only for him to toss them right back. "I'm not riding in your tiny death trap,” he said. “We'll take my truck."

  The “truck” ended up being a monstrosity that when started, sounded like it belonged in one of those bang ‘em up truck shows. It was bright blue, had tires that came up to my waist, and seats that looked so uncomfortable I thought I might need to see a chiropractor when all was said and done. I eyeballed the truck and let out a delicate little cough. Just enough to express my appreciation for his sense of humor, but not enough to let him think I was falling for it.

  “Okay. Ha ha. Where’s your vehicle?”

  Seth jingled the keys and pressed a button. The sound of a loud honk right next to me made me jump out of my skin.

  “No,” I said with horror.

  “Oh, yes,” he said. He clicked the key fob one more time and the sound of the doors unlocking sent horror skidding through my soul. “You want me to ride in this?”

  “That’s usually what you do when you need to go from one place to the other.” He had to reach up to open the door. With a quick hop onto the step bar, Seth slid into the train wreck he called a vehicle. I stood outside, eyeing the thing with distaste.

  “I’m going to pinch myself and wake up and this will all be a horrible dream.”

  The passenger window edged down. “Get in, Kitty. It’s not going to bite you.” Seth slid his sunglasses on.

  “I’m not so sure I agree with you.” The truck looked like it would definitely bite me. Or maybe spit me out on the side of a creepy, poorly lit road.

  “Aren’t you rich?” I asked him, just before I opened the door. It creaked open like the door to an old, dilapidated haunted house. I eyed the step bar with trepidation before stepping up and sliding onto the slick blue and white leather seats. Seth shot me a grin, barked at me to buckle up, and turned on the radio to bluegrass.

  He ignored my question.

  I clicked my seatbelt on feeling like I’d just stepped into an alternate dimension.

  Seth started the vehicle and I waited to see if the strains of General Lee’s Dixie Horn was going to scream out of the engine. Thankfully, it didn’t, but the thing did sound like an airplane engine in my ear. I could no longer hear the music coming from the radio.

  Where were noise-cancelling headphones when you needed them? Seth hit a button and both of the windows slid closed, only slightly diminishing the engine noise.

  “This is insane,” I whispered to myself. The vehicle jerked as he put it in gear and drove out of the lot.

  Despite its appearance of a rusty death trap, it was kind of nice to be able to see miles ahead of us. I was sitting so high up I could see the distinct outline of the Smoky Mountains ahead. I’d never had a less obstructed view on the freeway in my entire life. Seth drove cautiously which surprised me. So far, he was a study in contradictions. The drive back to the McCormick’s place was silent as far as conversation went. Not surprising, considering I could barely hear myself breathe over the vehicle noise.

  When we pulled in about half an hour later, Seth turned off the truck. As a lot of older vehicles tended to do, there was a tick tick tick noise as the engine began to cool. He patted the steering wheel. “It was my brother’s.”

  I was about to say something snarky when the word was snagged my attention. “Was?” I asked quietly.

  Seth slid his sunglasses off and looked out the front of the windshield. “Yes. Brian passed away five years ago.” He turned to me. His eyes were the color of dark honey now, sad and serious. “He stepped in to help someone who’d broken down in the middle of the night and was struck by a vehicle.”

  My hand went up to my throat. “Oh. Seth. I’m so sorry.”

  He shook his head. “He died the way he lived. Serving others.” A smile quirked the edge of his mouth. “He left this to me in his will. I couldn’t even believe he had a will. He was only a few years older than me. But he was always prepared for any eventuality.” Seth looked away from me. “I always hated riding in this thing.”

  “I’m sorry I asked if you were rich,” I said. Shame colored my cheeks.

  A throaty chuckle came from him. “I would have asked the same thing. I have a rental car, but when I visit my aunt, I tend to drive this. She’s the only one of the family who would keep this for me. My cousins will start it up and drive it around for a bit once a week or so, just to keep the battery from dying.”

  “It certainly is memorable.” I took off my seatbelt. “Should we go in and get everything ready?” I wasn’t sure I was ready to see this vulnerable side to him. Cutting off this conversation felt rude, but I was still trying to sort my own feelings out about him.

  “Not yet,” he said, sensing I was uncomfortable. “I was in the chapel and overheard someone talking about Candy.”

  I stiffened. “What were they saying?”

  “Something about a new delivery.” He frowned. “The whole thing sounded suspicious, but I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to eavesdrop.”

  I didn’t like it. “Would you recognize those people again?”

  “Yes. They didn’t seem like they were from around here. Before the service, I asked Emma if she knew who they were. She didn’t and said she was going to ask Sissy if she’d invited people she didn’t know about.

  “I wonder why they went to the funeral?” I was thinking out loud now. “Seems weird for someone on Candy’s side to go, especially since she wasn’t…” My voice trailed off. “They know I’m posing as her. They have to.”

  Concern flared in Seth’s gaze. “Well, does that matter? She wasn’t there and isn’t around that much from what I gather. Do you think they’d say something about it?”

  I tapped my fingers on my knee. “I’m not sure.” I pushed open the passenger door and stepped out. “I think we should have another look around at Chase’s room.”

  Seth got out and came around the other side to walk me into the house. “Are you sure that’s okay with his parents?”

  I shrugged. “Emma didn’t have any trouble with it the first time.” As we walked up the porch, I explained what Sissy had told her. “You were right,” I admitted. “I never should have said anything to Sissy about what I found.”

  Seth stopped in mid-step. “Excuse me?”

  I snorted and unlocked the door.

  “Say that again?” he said.

  “No.” I held open the door for him. The house was quiet, and the smell of lemon and lavender still pervaded the area. Seth shut the door behind us and I led him to Chase’s room. Having him behind me was unnerving. I could feel his presence looming over me and the crisp scent he left when he brushed by was making it hard to concentrate.

  Chase’s room looked the same. Emma hadn’t touched it since the last time I’d come in here. I headed straight for the laptop this time. Most people kept important information sealed tha
t way. He probably had a password but maybe I could break it.

  I flipped it open only to see the dreaded sign-in box. I tried several innocuous passwords first - a series of numbers, Candy’s name, his mom’s name, even the name of the place where he worked.

  Seth took the laptop from me. “If you try any more, you’re going to lock us out. Let me try.” He set the computer down on the edge of the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

  Seth left me sitting at Chase’s desk dumbfounded. “Umm, okay?” I said to an empty room. I started digging through the rest of Chase’s things, but this time not so carefully. I had a suspicion this would be my last crack at finding something to ease my suspicions of his fate.

  Seth came back in a few a minutes later carrying a laptop bag. I raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t say a word. He opened up his bag, took out a sleek, silver computer, opened it up and started tapping away. Within about five minutes, a look of satisfaction stole over his face and he picked up Chase’s computer.

  Curious, I hurried over and sat beside him. On Seth’s computer, a website lay open with a bunch of word and number combinations. Seth slowly typed in the first one, hit Enter, and waited.

  “We’re in,” he said.

  My mouth fell open in surprise. “How did you?” I shut my mouth and frowned.

  “It’s called brute force cracking. Or hacking.” His head tilted to the side in thought. “Something like that.”

  I snorted in disbelief. “And how did you come to know about this?”

  “I’m a man of varied talents,” he said as he handed me Chase’s laptop and shut his own.

  “Seriously.”

  “Research for an upcoming role. I spent about six weeks with a hacker. Most people are very casual about their passwords. A lot of them are easy things to remember: names of loved ones, birthdays, things like that. It gets complicated when numbers and letters get involved. Fortunately for us, Chase wasn’t that computer savvy. His password was Candy’s name and his birthdate.”

  “What was that website you used?”

  He slid his laptop back into his bag and zipped it up. “It’s a cracking site. With just a little bit of info, it rolls through all the potential passwords.”

  “And you got it on the first try?” I’d seen it with my own eyes but still couldn’t believe how easy it had been. It made me want to go home and change every single password on all of my sites.

  A grin stole over his face. “You saw. It could have been any combination of anything. The cracker software takes the most common and puts those first. The more complicated stuff comes later, but it’s usually not worth continuing if you get that far. But...it also comes down to human nature. Most of us don’t like to remember more than one password. I could have chosen another site to try to get into and then used that same password to log into other sites.”

  Dread rolled in my stomach. “You think we could log into his bank account with this?”

  He nodded. “Among other things.”

  “Oh. I’m going to change my passwords as soon as I get home.”

  “Don’t worry, Kitty. I use my powers only for good.”

  I gave him a side-eye glare as I started clicking through Chase’s files.

  Seth set his bag by the door. “Hey. What’s up with the flowers outside?” he said.

  I stopped my flipping and looked up. “What flowers?”

  “The blue ones sitting by the kitchen window.”

  It was a strange question to ask. “I dunno. Candy sent them a few days ago.” I bent my head back down to concentrate on what I was doing. “What kind of email does everyone use these days?”

  I was still rolling with an AOL account and the butt of jokes from anyone who emailed me.

  Seth didn’t respond. When I looked back up at him, there was a strange expression on his face which quickly morphed into horror.

  “Seth?”

  “Monkshood,” he said.

  “Bless you?” I slid the computer off my lap and stood, concerned now.

  His gaze met mine. “Monkshood,” he said again and snapped his fingers. “Didn’t you say he had some weird symptoms right before he passed?”

  “I don’t know what Monkshood is!”

  “It’s a plant.” He pointed back out the door. “Those flowers. They’re also called Wolfsbane or Aconite.”

  “Like the stuff werewolves hate?”

  Seth let out a strangled laugh. “If werewolves were real, I’m sure they’d hate it, but yes.”

  “What about it?”

  “It’s poisonous.”

  “What? Like a poinsettia?”

  Seth walked out of the room. I followed behind. “Not quite,” he said. “It’s a common misconception. There’s a lot of poisonous plants in the poinsettia family, but while that particular one might make you vomit, it probably won’t kill a human.” He stopped in front of the flowers.

  They were still remarkably pretty for being in a vase for several days. The brilliant blue of the pretty upright stalk of flowers seemed almost too dainty to be so dangerous.

  “His sister said he was seeing purple. He complained of dizziness.” I thought back. “His mom off-handedly mentioned his hands being cold.”

  Seth peered at the flowers. “I wonder if they mentioned the purple thing to the police. The rest could be attributed to heart problems. You don’t think it’s weird for a girlfriend to send poisonous flowers?”

  “It’s very weird.” The conversation with Emma came back to me. “Emma mentioned the florists wouldn’t let her handle the flowers. They set it up for her.”

  “So brazen,” he murmured. “The poison will seep through to the skin, especially if you touch the roots.”

  I stepped closer to the vase marveling at how something so pretty might be responsible for such a horrific outcome. “Let me guess? You’re playing a gardener soon?”

  He stood, his expression grave. “No. My mother is a Master Gardener. I know a ridiculous amount about plants.” Seth pulled the curtain from the window and peered outside. “I think you should hurry up and finish in Chase’s room. People are going to start arriving within the hour.”

  As I rushed back to the room. I thought of something. “Is this enough to prove Chase was murdered?” I sat back on the bed and re-opened the laptop, thankful it hadn’t locked up on me.

  Seth leaned against the doorjamb. “In most cases, the poison is out of the body within 24 hours. Though it is weird that he didn’t taste it. It’s bitter. Most people would spit it right out.”

  “I’m concerned about the level of knowledge your mom has about poisons.” I clicked open the internet and searched for Gmail. It was open to Chase’s account.

  “She’s something of a plant nerd,” he confessed. “She has a little herb shop up in the mountains in Virginia.”

  I glanced up. “Really? Like a real-life Sabrina?” I couldn’t help the grin that formed.

  “Ha,” he said. “No love spells or curses, I’m afraid.”

  I clicked on the Sent box of Chase’s emails and skimmed quickly. At first, nothing looked out of place, though I did chuckle when I realized he was a member of an Alaskan Ice Truckers chat room.

  My fingers paused when I saw email traffic between Candy and Chase a few weeks before he died. I clicked open and began to read.

  Just a few moments in, my fingers began to tremble. Seth, noticing my distress, sat down beside me. His warmth was comforting. He leaned over and began to read.

  “Oh,” he said.

  “Yeah.”

  Of all the things he could have done, accusing Candy of illegal activities in a traceable email wasn’t the smartest. The traffic started less than a month ago. Chase accused Candy of running drugs through his place of employment and wondered about their first meeting when their suitcases were switched at the airport.

  Candy, of course, was smarter than this and proclaimed herself both innocent and very confused about Chase’s accusations. She claimed she would be home in a
day or two and they could talk about it then.

  It was the next few emails that were the most incriminating. Chase claimed to know that she was sleeping with his coworker, Butch, and that he’d overheard them talking about shipments when he came upon them in the breakroom.

  Candy sent only a final response after that saying she would see him the next day.

  It didn’t seem to be a coincidence anymore that Chase had died just a few weeks after that.

  “Forward all of these emails to yourself,” Seth advised. “Then we need to get out of this room.”

  I wasn’t ready to relinquish it yet, though I did take the time to forward the most incriminating stuff to my AOL account. “Just let me check something.” I opened an internet search engine and put in Candy’s name. I was a top-notch search engine guru. In my search for clothing, I’d learned how to pare down a search so finely I could locate something within just a few minutes. In my experience, the same applied to people, though I tried to keep my internet stalking to a minimum these days, especially after the Seth debacle.

  Seth peered at the computer, a slight frown on his mouth. “You don’t think she is who she says she is?”

  I didn’t answer. I leaned forward, skimming through the results as quickly as I could, until something else occurred to me. I logged into Chase’s social media account, checked his relationship status, and saved the image of Candy that popped up when I hovered over her name. Using a quick crop, I saved and dropped the picture into a reverse image search engine tool.

  When the results popped up, Seth rocked back.

  “Amanda Cooper,” I whispered.

  “Wanted for identity theft in two states,” Seth whispered. He snatched the computer out of my hands, exited out of everything, and put it back onto the desk along with all of the other papers I’d been going through. Without saying anything else, he grabbed my hand and hauled me up. “We need to get out of here. Right now.”

  I let myself be hauled out of the room, but Seth skidded to a stop when the sound of a closing car door reached our ears.

  “Calm down,” I whispered. “It’s probably just Emma.”

  Still holding my hand, Seth tiptoed over to the window and peered out. “Does Emma drive a Mercedes?”

 

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