Bound Together

by Marie Coulson

  Crawling backwards off of Ollie I scrambled for my bra and shirt as he frantically zipped up his pants and pulled on his t-shirt. My shirt now button less I tied it into a bow trying to make it look like a fashion statement rather than evidence of my almost sexual escapade with Ollie. The door opened the sound of a woman’s voice caught my attention. Crawling over Ollie, who was sitting rigidly on the couch, I peered over the back of the sofa. Had he seriously brought a woman back to the house? Surely he wasn’t going to have sex in the house where I was sleeping, well where he thought I was sleeping. A woman with long blonde hair stood with her back to me and my father leaned in and kissed her gently. Suddenly, lifting her left hand to his face I recognized a ring. “Mom!”

  Spinning around, she gawked at me in horror. My father, equally as shocked to see me, stared at her. Hurrying inside towards me, she raised her hands defensively. “Now calm down honey, I know this must be a shock.” I instantly got to my feet leaving a very uncomfortable Ollie on the couch with a pillow over his bulging crotch. “A shock? You think I’m shocked? I’m mortified. What the hell is going on?”

  Seeing my attire and Ollie’s clearly flustered appearance, she raised an eyebrow at me. “What were you two doing before we came in?”

  Blushing, I tried to think of a plausible answer but shaking my head I got back to the matter at hand. “Don’t change the subject. Are you two sleeping together?”

  My mother immediately said no but my father, picking up Ollie’s discarded hoodie and hurling it at him, gave a very different answer. “For a while now yes.”

  My mother glared at him. “Oh come on Diane, she’s a grown woman. She believes you just as much as I believe these two weren’t about to have sex on my couch.”

  Holding my hands over my face I hid shamefully from my father’s accusing look.

  Taking a deep breath, I took my hands away and looked at them. “Will one of you please explain what’s been happening here because the last time I checked, I was sure the two of you were very happily divorced.” Taking my hand, my mother spoke softly. “So did we. After your party your father and I came back here and had a few drinks. We talked all night and it was just like old times. We laughed, we talked about you, about the past, the divorce, everything. And we realized something. We divorced because things got hard Layla. We never divorced because we didn’t love each other. I still love your father. I always have. He was my first love and everything I ever wanted. And I think he feels the same. At least I hope so.”

  Putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, he nodded. “I do. We’ve been spending weekends together here and things have been going really well. We didn’t want to tell you until we knew for sure what was happening but after doing this for a month now, I’ve asked your mother to move back in.”

  I stared at them in shock.

  “And I’ve said yes. I’m having my things brought over next week.”

  I shook my head at them in total disbelief. I couldn’t handle this right now and the need to run from it all overwhelmed me as I stormed past them, grabbed my sneakers and ran out the door. The cool night air was a refreshing wakeup call reminding me that what had just happened in the house hadn’t been a horrible dream. Walking down the drive way I hugged myself as the breeze chilled my bare skin, scarcely covered by my shirt. Ollie yelled as he ran after me and on catching up, wrapped a coat around my shoulders and pulled me into a warm hug. The urge to cry was powerful and safely inside Ollie’s arms I cried softly into his chest. “What the fuck are they doing? Why do they have to make everything so damned complicated? I mean when were they even going to tell me? After a U-Haul truck pulled into the driveway with all my mother’s shit in it?”

  Rubbing his hands up and down my back, he pressed a kiss in my hair. “I don’t know baby girl. You’d have to ask them. The way I see it, you have a lot of questions and they have the answers. Running away from it won’t make that any better.” Wiping my tears, I gazed up at him. “When did you get so smart?”

  He chuckled. “I don’t know, because whenever you’re around I get all stupid. I guess you’re rubbing off on me.”

  I smiled suggestively. “I’d rather be rubbing against you.” Kissing me deeply, he smiled against my lips. “God I’ve waited so long to be able to do that. Layla, I need you to be sure about this. I’m not asking for a relationship but at least give us a chance.”

  Cupping his face in my hands, I placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “I want to give this a chance Ollie, give us a chance. I can’t promise you forever, but I promise you I’ll try.” And I meant it. Ollie was wonderful, sweet, charming, sexy as hell and most importantly, he was honest. He was everything I knew I should want in a man and yet not the man my heart truly wanted. I wanted to give him everything, to give him all of me but as much as I wished I could right now, I couldn’t give him my heart, because it still belonged to Jared. And I hated myself for it.

  This magnetic hold he had on me was debilitating. It didn’t matter where I went, who I was with or what I was doing; I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wondered how he was doing, who he was with, even how his sister was coping. I hated her for everything her lies had caused but seeing a pregnant woman breaking down and sobbing still pulls on the heart strings a little. I was pissed. Not inhumane. Maybe he had moved on too; met some long legged bimbo to bang in the back of cars, devour on dining tables and tie to his bed. Yeah Layla, you’re not bitter at all. Besides how could I be angry about it? I had been ready to fuck Ollie into next week on that couch a moment ago and without even a second thought to how Jared might feel. Maybe I was getting over him. Walking back to my door, I glanced back at the sidewalk and a memory of seeing his car pull up outside swamped my thoughts and my heart sank. He’d been so riled up; but that day was a turning point for us. I’d finally understood his need to control and keep me safe. It was just a shame that the one thing I needed protecting from was him breaking my heart. Ok, so maybe I wasn’t quite as over him as I thought.

  Chapter 39

  Happy Holidays

  The tension in the house was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. My mother had all her things driven across the state and she soon made herself right at home in the house she had walked away from seven years ago. Sitting on the couch with Ollie, my feet in his lap, I watched her organizing the living room cabinets. “You know there was nothing wrong with how dad and I had it. It worked perfectly well before you came back.” She stood with her hands on her hips and her head tilted to the side. “Are you referring to the cabinets or me Layla? Because I’m getting really tired of this shit. I’ve been back here two days and you’ve treated me like an intruder the whole time. I know this is hard for you but could you at least try to be happy for us?” I glanced at Ollie who was giving me a look that told me he agreed with her. Whose side was he on!?

  Taking my feet off his lap I stood and headed upstairs. “Layla, let’s at least talk about this. You haven’t wanted to talk about it since you found out. Please sweetheart.” I growled at her, stomping up the stairs as though gravity just made everything ten times heavier. “Leave me alone mother.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want my parents to be happy but did they have to find happiness together? The divorce had been a traumatic and life changing event for me. Watching my parent’s marriage slowly fall apart at the seams and eventually tear into two very large pieces had made me the strong, independent woman I was now. And then there they go screwing it all up because they’re in love? My whole belief system had been thrown into a shredder and I was frantically scraping up the pieces and trying to make sense of it all.

  Slamming my bedroom door behind me, I sprawled out on my bed, flung my arm over my eyes and sighed deeply. A second later there was a tapping at my door. “I said leave me alone mother!”

  “It’s me, can I come in?” Ollie’s gentle tones melted my icy mood. “Of course you can Ollie. It’s not you I’m mad at.” Opening the door, he stepped inside and closed it behind him quietly. His voice
hushed, he stood with his back against the door gazing at me. “I really think you should give your parents a break here Layla. They love each other. That’s the bottom line and no amount of pissing and whining is going to change that so you might as well get used to it. Hell I don’t even understand why you’re so upset. At least you have two great parents and the fact that they’re back under the same roof sounds awesome to me.” I gave him a quizzical look. “Why are you whispering?” “I don’t want your folks to catch me in your room.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Ollie last night they caught us pre-coital on the couch. I think the cat’s out of the bag.”

  He ran his fingers through his long black hair. “Oh, well I still think you should hear your mom out. She was really upset you know. I think she was crying.” Oh no. If there was one thing my mom did very well it was cry and it always worked on me.

  Feeling instantly guilty, I groaned. “Oh crap. Now I have to go down there and apologize. God, she’s so unfair! Why can’t she just let me be mad for a while?”

  Walking over, Ollie held onto my hands and pulled me up. I stood in front of him and looked up into his big brown eyes and sighed. “You will forgive her you know. Because you’re too nice to hate anyone really. Even when you should.” He gave me his trademark, knock your socks off sexy smile and I couldn’t resist him. My hands around his neck, I pulled him to me and kissed him longingly. I loved the feel of his piercing against my lip and every time it pressed into my flesh, I had the desperate urge to sink my teeth into him. His hands snaked around my back as I pulled him towards the bed. The back of my knees hit the edge and falling back onto the mattress, I hauled him down with me. I just couldn’t help myself. As his tongue and lips caressed my jaw and his fingertips traced freely over my neck, I groaned. Whenever Ollie’s hot body was in the same room as mine my blood simmered and my insides clenched with desire. He’d always had an effect on me but it seemed the more time we spent around each other, the more I wanted him. I wanted him so much it was driving me crazy.

  My body and my heart were clearly not on the same page. My heart was still hibernating and rocking in a corner suffering with post-traumatic stress, while my libido did the Lambada whenever the young, smoking hot, wanna be rocker was around me. It was a confusing combination and at that moment, my head seemed to be listening to my body, disregarding the violent warnings my heart was sending as it thudded and drummed loudly inside my ribcage.

  Closing my eyes, I surrendered myself to the pleasure of his touch. His tongue grazed my skin, making goose bumps appear all over me. His hands held mine arrested on either side of my head. “Oh god Layla, I love you so much,” he murmured into my mouth and as if my heart had grabbed for a megaphone it screamed at me to stop this. My eyes instantly flew open. Springing up, I pushed him off of me. “Wait!”

  Falling onto the floor, he stared up at me, panting and completely confused at my outburst. Holding my head in my hands I shook my head. “I’m sorry Ollie, I am, and I want to, I really do, you have no idea how much but I just…can’t.”

  His eyebrows furrowed and he looked wounded. “But….you kissed me. You pulled me down. I wasn’t pressuring you Layla. You said you wanted this. Us.”

  Rushing to him I fell to my knees on the floor beside him. “I do, I really do and we will get there but right now, I just can’t.” Staring straight ahead, his mouth pressed into a hard line “You love him don’t you. I’m never going to be enough am I Layla?”

  “Ollie no. You’re amazing and I really like you. I do.”

  “But you love him.”

  Gazing at him I nodded, there was no point in trying to deny it. We both knew the truth. Ollie could hold my body for hours but he wouldn’t possess my heart while it still stayed firmly in Jared’s grasp. Getting to his feet, he strode silently to the door and walked out. I followed, yelling after him as we descended the stairs. “Ollie wait.”

  Grabbing his hoodie, he headed for the front door. “Where are you going?”

  “I need a walk.”

  “But you don’t know these streets.”

  “I’ll figure it out.” And without a single glance in my direction he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

  I flinched as the loud bang reverberated through the hall. Sinking onto the bottom step, I hung my head and cried. I’d done the one thing I didn’t want to. I’d hurt him. I’d led him on, teased and seduced him just to end up emotionally kicking him in the crotch and driving him away. God, I really was a bitch. Hearing the commotion, my mother had left the sanctuary of the kitchen and was now hurrying to my side. Wrapping her arms around me she pulled me tight to her chest. “Oh baby, what happened?” Sniffling and whimpering, I looked up at her through teary eyes.

  “I’ve made such a mess of everything. I’m a horrible person.”

  “No you’re not. You, Layla Jennings, don’t have a spiteful bone in your body. Now come on, what’s this all about?”

  Taking a deep breath I tried to explain. “Ollie’s in love with me.”

  “Well sweetheart I could have told you that at the party.”

  “I knew before that and I knew how deeply he felt but I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. Then this whole thing with Jared happened and the other night, after the park, I kissed him. I kissed Ollie and we started getting carried away. He said he wanted to be with me and I said that I’d try. But I can’t do it mom. Every time I’m with him, I want to be with him so much but my heart just can’t let go of Jared. And now I’ve hurt Ollie. Why does my broken heart keep making so many lives miserable?”

  Rising to her feet, my mother gazed down at me and lifted my face to her with her perfectly manicured hand. “Now you listen to me Layla Jennings. Love is easy, falling in love is even easier, but letting that love go, is the most difficult thing you’ll ever have to do. Some of us never let it go and sometimes it takes a while to realize what you want. But your heart will always have the right answer in the end. You just have to figure out what it’s telling you. You like Ollie?”

  I nodded and she smiled.

  “He’s a sweet boy and I think if you’re patient with each other, you and he could be very happy. But you will always remember your first love. It’s powerful. Don’t punish yourself for feeling sweetheart.” I glanced at the door, wishing he’d come back.

  “Let him breathe, he’ll be back. And very soon I’ll wager. He’s crazy about you Layla. As he should be.”

  I gave her a half-hearted smile and the deep feeling of regret washed over me. I’d been so unfair to her and sitting on those stairs I could finally understand. You can’t just tell your heart to stop loving someone. It’s a force that no man, woman or living being can control. And my parent’s hearts had always belonged to each other. “I’m sorry Mom. For everything I said and didn’t say. I am happy you and dad are together, just, please don’t break his heart again. I couldn’t bear it.” Kissing my cheek, she smiled. “Neither could I.”

  * * *

  Sitting on the couch, I stared at the clock. The room was silent except for the infernal and constant ticking as I watched minutes turn into hours. Ollie had been gone for almost two hours and I was beginning to feel anxious that something had happened to him. Springing from the couch, I grabbed my sneakers and was just about to run out to look for him when the door opened.

  I stood abruptly and stared at him speechless. What could I say?

  Walking over he gazed down at me and wiped my tearstained cheek with his thumb. “Oh god. I swore I’d never make you cry.” Wrapping his arms around me, he pressed a kiss to my head and sighed. I buried my head into his chest and breathed deeply. He smelled of laundry detergent mixed with his natural Ollie smell. I found it incredibly comforting and if I could have bottled it, I would’ve carried it around wherever I went. Tears were once again sliding down my face and seeping into his hoodie. Lifting my chin, he smiled at me. “I want you Layla. And if I have to wait ten years for you to be ready I will. We can take this as slow as you want and ther
e’s no pressure. I just want to be with you.”

  Fisting the hem of his sweater in his hand he lifted it to my face and wiped my tears. “That’s better.”

  I smiled and even laughed slightly as he stroked his nose along the length of mine. “I’m not saying never Ollie. I just can’t be with anyone else physically right now. But I will get there. You just have to be patient with me.”

  He placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “I’d wait forever for you Layla. I love you.”

  His words swirled around in my head. Hearing those three little words stirred emotions inside me that should have been for the man who had spoken them so sweetly to me. But they didn’t. Instead all I felt was a sharp pain as the memory of Jared’s own low, sensual voice echoed in my ears. Three words had never meant so much as when he had spoken them to me and if I was truly honest with myself, I missed him.

  * * *

  In the interest of taking it slow I made it my mission to ensure that Ollie and I were constantly in the company of others, and in this instance that responsibility fell on Mel. Tonight was movie night and the three of us would be sitting down nice and cozy in a dark theater together for a whole two hours. “And why do I need to be your third wheel all winter break?”