He gave me a puzzled look.
“I heard the two of you are quite the social couple right now.” Closing his eyes he shook his head. “Is that what that call was about the other week? Layla I’m not now nor have I ever been dating Alicia. She’s been attending functions desperate to be photographed with me to get at Felix. She heard from Sebastian about the affair and she’s pissed at him for screwing her over in the divorce. If she’d had evidence then of his infidelity she would have got millions more in her settlement. I had to invite her here and get a lawyer to hand her a restraining order keeping her away from me. You really thought I could be with anyone else when I’m so completely and devotedly in love with you?”
I stared at him lost for words.
Cupping my face, he gazed into my eyes. “Didn’t you hear a word I said to you the entire time we were together? You’re my whole world Layla. You hold my universe in your hand and no matter where I go, who I’m with or what I’m doing, you are right there with me. Here.”
Taking my hand he held it against his thundering heart. “Our lives are entwined and we’re bound together by everything that we’ve been through, what we feel and the love I have for you. I know you love me too Layla and I wish I could make it all right again but I can’t.” Taking his other hand in mine I gazed deep into his deep pools of piercing blue.
“I do love you Jared. I love you so much it hurts me. When Mel gave me that letter and my pendant yesterday I couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t you just tell me? That letter was too little too late. The damage was done.”
Standing, he raked his hands through his hair. It was his go to move when he was anxious, nervous or frustrated. “I couldn’t put you at risk. Look at what happened last night Layla. He was going to strangle Lucy and he would have raped you if I hadn’t been there. He’s dangerous and I was protecting you from that. I didn’t know it was Felix back then but I knew, based on every cut, bruise, fracture and broken bone Lucy had been given, that whoever he was he was dangerous. You would have been a walking target to get to me. I love you and I will not let anyone use you as a pawn in their sick twisted game. He came to your dorm for Christ sakes Layla.”
Getting to my feet I strode over to him. “How did you know that?”
“I’ve been having him followed ever since he made a pass at you at that dinner. Once he knew you were my weakness, he was going to come after you. I needed to know every move he made. He followed you to Benny’s, to the coffee shop to see Kate and even to Delicia that night. Why do think I went so fucking crazy when I saw you with that guy? It’s the same reason I used Alicia. I figured he’d be more distracted with what I was doing with his ex-wife than watching you all night. You were getting drunk and it made you a very easy mark.” I stared at him, blown away by his confession.
“You weren’t trying to make me jealous or control me? You were protecting me from Felix?”
He nodded and placed his hands on his hips exasperated. “I had to do something. Even if it meant you hating me for it. You being safe meant a lot more.” These new revelations were making my head spin. Everything I had thought about him and us was wrong.
Taking my hands in his, he gazed down at me. “I love you Layla. I can’t just stop taking care of you. If anything happened to you I’d never survive it.”
Closing my eyes, I watched as my mind replayed our entire relationship in front of my eyes at warp speed. Opening them again I raised my hand to his face and pulled him to me. Pressing my lips against his I slid my other hand behind his back as his hands pulled me tight to him, wrapping me in his arms. “Come back to me Layla. I miss you so much. From now on I swear I’ll never keep anything from you just please come back. I need you.” My heart swelled as he murmured into my mouth. Pulling away I gazed at him breathless and confused. “I want to Jared but I can’t. It’s more complicated now than it was before.”
His hands rubbed up and down my arms as he tried desperately to change my mind. “What’s complicated? I love you. You love me. It’s the simplest thing in the world.” Turning away I took a deep breath forcing myself to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over any moment. “I’m in love with Ollie.”
I couldn’t look at him, but grabbing my arm he spun me around to face him.
I could see the deep hurt in his eyes as he stuttered and struggled to get the words from his mouth.
“You love him?”
I nodded. “But I love you too. It’s so confusing and my head is a mess right now. Ollie wants me to go to Utah and be with him and now you tell me all of this. Put all that together with what happened last night and it’s just too much. I can’t deal with it all right now.”
I was getting worked up and my cheeks reddened as I became more and more flustered. “You’re leaving? You’re leaving Long Beach and moving in with him? I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
Panic was painted all over his face as he paced the room frantically. “You can’t go Layla. You just can’t. I won’t let you go like this.”
“I haven’t decided anything yet. He told me to think on it.”
“But you’re considering it?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing Jared! I can’t think. It hurts too much knowing that either way I have to give one of you up. That I lose one of you from my life. I can’t do that.”
Striding over fast, he held my arms tightly. “Come with me.”
I stared at him in shock. “What?”
Gazing into my eyes he repeated himself. “Come with me to New York, to Europe.”
I shook my head in a complete daze. “You can’t be serious Jared. You’re not thinking straight. Have you heard yourself?”
“I am thinking clearly and for the first time in my life everything is totally transparent. I want to be with you Layla. I love you.” Wide eyed I stared at him, unable to form words or even breathe.
“Say something.”
I couldn’t; there was nothing there. As I opened my mouth I tried to find the words or even a simple syllable but nothing came.
Walking over to the sofa, I dropped onto it and held my head in my hands. “This is such a mess. My life is one huge bomb site. I need to go home.” Grabbing my purse, I made for the door but reaching it before I could, he blocked my way. “I’ll wait for you Layla. Forever if I have to; because there will never be anyone else for me. You are my only love and I won’t give up fighting for you.” Standing aside he let me pass and I couldn’t get my feet to move fast enough as I hurried through the grand foyer to the door.
Seeing me approach, Daniel dutifully opened the car door and giving him a grateful look, I slid inside, thankful for the silence and seclusion as everything whirled around in my head. Daniel sat rigid and awkward as he drove. “Miss Jennings, I need to apologize about last night but I was only thinking of your safety.”
“It’s alright Daniel, really. I’m forever in your debt. If Jared hadn’t been there…” I couldn’t finish my sentence and my silence portrayed more than my words could as Daniel’s eyes fell on me in the rear view.
“Oh Miss Jennings. Please tell me that sick bastard didn’t hurt you.”
I shook my head. “He didn’t get the chance, thanks to you and Jared. Thank you Daniel. I mean that.”
He gave me a smile and nodded at me.
Chapter 49
Listen To Your Heart
Pulling up outside my dorm, I waited in the car while Daniel checked whether the area was safe. Jared had instructed him to ensure Felix was not in the vicinity before allowing me to exit. Opening the car door, he nodded that it was clear and insisted that he would walk me to my room. He’d been there for me, looking out for me and even protecting me so many times recently that I felt we were more like friends than acquaintances. Yet I knew very little about him.
“Thanks Daniel. I didn’t realize bodyguard was part of your job description.”
He smiled. “It’s not. Jared- Mr. Garrett is an old friend and I owe him a lot. He gave me this
job when I was down and out; he really took a chance on me. I was in a mess and he bailed me out.”
I gave him a curious look.
“I met him in high school and one day he got in a fight with these two guys and I jumped in to help out. We lost touch until about four years later, just after his parents died. I was heavily into coke and heroin. I was dealing and things went bad. I ended up getting stabbed in the gut.”
I stared at him in horror. I had no idea he’d had that kind of life. I knew he was young but I hadn’t realized he and Jared were the same age. “Anyway Jared was at the hospital visiting Lorraine, she’d just had some minor surgery and he saw me. We talked and he said he wanted to help me. Said he owed me for what I did for him in school. He got me into rehab, paid for all my treatment and gave me this job. I even have one of his apartments rent free while I work for him.”
Reaching my room, I wrapped my arms around him and he stood stiffly as I hugged him. Pecking him on the cheek, I smiled as he blushed. “Thank you Daniel. For everything.”
“Anytime. You’re a good person, you know? People like you are rare these days and I’m sorry we’ve had to part in such sad circumstances.” He frowned and I felt a little upset myself. Daniel was a good man and he genuinely cared about Jared, about Lucy and even about me. “Take care of yourself Miss Jennings.” I gave him a weak smile before watching him as he walked down the hallway and out of sight.
Opening my door I froze, screamed and turned to face the door as I saw Amy in bed, naked with my best friend.
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry. I’ll go.” Closing the door, I heard them giggling as I stood in the hallway.
Mel yelled through the door, “Layla, come back in here. It’s fine.”
Squeezing my eyes closed I re-entered. “Is it safe? Are you both decent?”
Mel laughed. “Depends what you consider decent I guess.”
“Are you clothed?”
Simultaneously, they answered with a resounding yes. Opening my eyes I stared at the two of them as they sat snickering in Amy’s bed.
“Someone want to explain this to me?” Glancing at Mel, Amy grinned.
“Well, we got a little tipsy last night and when Jared called to tell us to stay put and bolt the door, Mel said we should stay together for safety. She was about ready to murder Felix when Jared told us but once we knew you were safe and that he hadn’t…you know, we got to talking. We got a little drunker and I kind of blurted out how I feel about her.”
Leaning in, Mel kissed her cheek. “And I told her that she should have said something sooner.”
Getting out of the bed I was relieved to see that Mel was wearing shorts with her tank top. Approaching me, she looked nervous; the most anxious I had ever seen her in our entire time as friends.
“I’m bisexual Layla. I’ve known since we were fourteen. I figured it out when I developed a crush on Samantha Bowman in our gym class. I couldn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was different from the Mel you’d always known. The play flights and the way we’ve always been so close and intimate, that’s always been us and I didn’t want you to think it was sexual and pull away from me.”
I was sure she expected me to be shocked, amazed or even disgusted but to be honest very little shocked me anymore and it seemed to make perfect sense that my commitment phobic friend swung both ways.
Tilting my head, I gave her a sympathetic smile. “Oh Melanie. I would never think that. I love you like a sister and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I don’t care if your preference is a table. I would still love you. I might have you committed but I’d still love you.” Turning my attention to Amy I smiled at her. “So I assume the two of you had an interesting discussion last night.”
Glancing back at Amy, Mel winked at me. “We’re taking it slow but we do like each other a lot. I always thought she was hot and now I know how she feels, I don’t see any reason in hiding it. You know, we know, Ollie knows we’re into each other. He figured it out at the bar. And as for our parents, well we said we’ll tell them when the time comes.” Bouncing out of bed, Amy wrapped her arms around Mel’s waist and kissed her cheek. My heart swelled with happiness as I watched my two best friends hug, kiss and make goo-goo eyes at each other. It was that perfect honey mooning moment every new couple shared and it immediately made me think of my own romantic predicament. Noticing my expression, Mel gave me a quizzical look.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
Walking to my bed I crashed down onto it and let out a long breath. “You mean aside from almost being raped by Felix last night? Jared. What else?”
Sitting on either side of me they stared at me waiting for me to elaborate. “He told me everything. The reasons he’s been acting the way he has lately. He told me about Alicia, who he is not dating, by the way, and that everything he did he did it to protect me. All of it. The dishonesty, what he did, with Alicia in the bar, everything. He said he still loves me and he begged me to go back to him.”
Mouths open, they gawked at me.
“That’s not all. He’s going to Europe for a year and he asked me to go with him.”
Shaking her head Mel stared at me. “God Layla you don’t do simple do you? First Ollie and Utah, now Jared and Europe. What did you say?”
“What could I say? I told him I love Ollie too and he said he wouldn’t give up fighting for me. Said he’ll wait forever. Either way, no matter what I decide, I lose one or both of them. I can’t do that.”
Leaning my head on Mel’s shoulder, I could feel tears stinging my eyes. Amy placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It’s not the choice between Utah or Europe you have to make though is it Layla? It’s Jared or Ollie.”
Nodding, I flopped my face into my hands. “What am I going to do? I love them both and I want them both but I know I can’t have that. It’s one of them or neither and it sucks. It’s not fair for them to put me in this position.”
Mel snorted. “I’d say you put yourself there sweetie and now you have to find your way out. You’ll figure it out. You just need time.”
I stared at the window, trying to think straight or to even begin pondering it at all. My gut told me exactly what I needed to do and grabbing my keys and an overnight bag, I packed a few essentials.
“Where are you going?”
Stuffing some clothes into the large duffle bag, I glanced back at my friends who were watching me with curiosity. “I need some space. I’m going home to Pasadena for a few days. I need to talk to my mom. I’ll call in a few days alright? We have all week to get our stuff before summer break so I’ll be back before Friday. Ok?”
Handing me my cell and purse, they gripped me tightly in a group hug. Placing a quick peck on both their cheeks I smiled and gave them a wink. “Behave yourselves while I’m away.” Grinning, they nodded and with a final glance at them, I headed out to my car. Tossing my bag and purse into the passenger seat, I started her up and the sound of ‘All Time Low’ echoed through the speakers. It reminded me of Ollie. Switching it off, I decided silence was my best option. I needed a clear head and the distracting memories of winter break were not making it easier at all.
* * *
Parking in the driveway, a wave of relief flooded me as I saw dad’s car missing. I needed a little mother daughter time and with him at work we had at least six hours to ourselves. Grabbing my bag, I jogged up the driveway to the door. I could hear the sound of ‘Duran Duran’ as I stepped inside. Mom was definitely home alone, she’d never dream of subjecting my father to it if he were home. He was strictly a classic rock and Clapton man. Dropping my keys on the table in the hallway, I dumped my bag by the door and went in search of her.
Turning the corner into the living room I smiled to myself as I watched her dance around with a duster in one hand and her spring cleaning bright yellow bandana over her hair. It was as though she’d never left or been gone for seven years. It was so normal, so routine and it was exactly what I needed. Shimmying and shak
ing my ass, I joined her. Spotting me, her mouth flew open and her face lit up as she sang loudly to the music and continued to dance around the room. Opening my lungs I belted out the words with her, letting go of the tension I had been holding for the past hour as I drove home. It was freeing and my favorite type of therapy. Taking my hand, she pulled me around the coffee table shaking her ass and holding her duster in the other hand like a mic.
The music ending, we landed on the sofa panting and laughing breathlessly. Turning to face me, mom curled her leg beneath her and leaned her head on her hand. “So what brings my baby home a week early?”
Scooting over to her, I laid my head against her chest and exhaled loudly. “I’m in such a mess Mom.”
Stroking my hair she held me to her “What’s happened?”
“I’m in love with two men.”
I felt her smile against my forehead and she pressed a kiss on skin. “Well I’d say that’s quite a situation.”
“That’s not all. Ollie moved to Utah and he wants me to follow him there.”
Her head snapped up and she lifted my chin to look at her. “Utah? Are you here to tell me my little girl is leaving California for good?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t know what I’m going to do but there’s more. Jared’s leaving in two days to go to Europe for a year Mom and the thought of being without him is tearing me apart. I learned some things recently that change everything I knew or thought I knew about us. And to top it off, I still love him. He wants me to go with him. But I have a life here, college and you guys. I’m so confused it’s making me sick.”
Shaking her head, she gazed at me wide eyed. “I’m lost for words and that never happens. Well first things first. We need ice-cream, lots of it and at least one bottle of wine.”
“You know daddy won’t like me drinking Mom.”
Getting up from the sofa she headed for the kitchen yelling over her shoulder, “It’s not for you baby. I’m going to need a drink if were honestly going to talk about you leaving me for either another state or another country.”
Bound Together Page 57
