Our Lives Entwined

by Lilliana Anderson

  She shook her head as her brow furrowed in thought. She hated that she had been separated from her twin, and she hated that it had been done so flippantly, as if pulling two babies apart who shared a womb could be a good thing. It wasn’t a good thing. As far as Natalie was concerned, her parents fucked up.

  “What about me? What about Mia? Did anyone ever consider how this would affect us? Did anyone ever think that we would want to find each other?”

  “We’ve been over this so many times now, Natalie. We all signed a contract. You were never supposed to find out about the adoption,” her mother explained. “And you have to understand that we are so sorry for what we did. We should never have separated you. We didn’t think it through properly.”

  Turning her head away, Natalie surreptitiously wiped at a tear that was trying to escape from her eye. “I’ll just have to find her somehow through the registry. Can I at least take the paperwork with me – that might help?”

  Her parents, who were both feeling horrible about this whole situation, exchanged a worried glance between them. They loved Natalie, biological or not, she was their daughter, and it hurt them that she was so angry with them. It made them feel as if they hadn’t been enough for her. And after all of the events over the past year, more often than not, they felt as though they had failed her. Sometimes, love just wasn’t enough…

  “I’ll go and get it for you,” Sandra whispered hoarsely, her own emotions pulling at her throat as she pushed away from the table, closely followed by Tom, to go to the small box that had all of Natalie’s baby things inside.

  Kneeling on the floor of her walk-in-wardrobe, Sandra slid the box off the shelf and slowly took out its contents. Inside was the first outfit Natalie ever wore, a lock of hair from her first hair cut, her first tooth… all precious memories that belonged to a child’s parents.

  Tom crouched beside her and rubbed small circles on her back as they went through all of the things that marked Natalie’s milestones in life. They had loved her unconditionally as their own child. Having her angry at them for not being blood related was incredibly hurtful, as if everything they had ever done for her didn’t count.

  When the box was empty, Sandra took a deep breath then wiped at her tears to calm herself before reaching in once more and pulling up the base. Underneath, there were a series of Polaroid pictures taken of Natalie and Mia on the day they were born, and in one of them, they were being held by their birth mother.

  “I suppose we should give her these,” Sandra whispered. “They’ll help her find Belinda.”

  Tom took a deep breath himself, feeling as though he was slowly losing his daughter but was powerless to stop it. He wanted to be understanding. But more than that, he wanted Natalie to understand that they chose her – that she was and still is the most important person in both of their lives.

  “I’ll go and get the paperwork file for her,” he said, pushing up through his legs, preparing to leave his wife to go to their study.

  Suddenly, Sandra’s hand shot out and she grabbed her husband, wrapping her arms around his legs as her emotions got the better of her again.

  “It’s ok, sweetheart. We’ll get through this,” he cooed, gently running his hand over his wife’s hair. “We’ll get through this.”

  Meanwhile, Natalie was downstairs, oblivious to the torment her parents were going through at that moment. She was, as always, caught up in her own troubles.

  She had read through the contract that pertained to her adoption a thousand times – it’s how she found out that she had a twin in the first place. So she knew it held no clue as to who her birth mother was. But, it was a legal document, and it did have the name of the agency in it. It was possible that that document could link to other documents on file with the adoption register that would name her real mother.

  Just as she was beginning to wonder what was taking her parents so long, Natalie received a text from Eric.

  Want to get some fresh air? It read, causing her to immediately respond in the affirmative.

  Her phone beeped again.

  Open the door

  With a grin pulling at the corner of her mouth, she did exactly as he asked and there he was, as beautiful as always, smiling down at her, making the overcast day feel like it was filled with radiant sunshine.

  “Grab a jacket or something. The wind’s pretty cold,” he said, not bothering with any of the usual greetings. Natalie liked that about Eric. He didn’t do things the way other people did. He was a man of few words but a lot of action, so it was like he didn’t waste his time on silly things like hello and goodbye – he just launched straight into the conversation and got to the point.

  Natalie nodded and grabbed her jacket from the cupboard in the hall then called out that she was going out with Eric for a while. Then she left her parents to their tears, still unaware of anyone’s pain but her own.

  “The causes of Borderline Personality Disorder are yet to be fully understood. Sufferers frequently experience emotional distress, difficulty relating with others, along with self-harming behaviour,” Cayd said from the lecture podium at Monash University, where he was almost finished addressing a group of students from the School of Psychological Sciences where he was guest lecturing during the semester.

  “It is thought that around two to five per cent of the population is affected by the disorder with symptoms generally appearing during mid to late teens or early adulthood. Women are the most common sufferers, being diagnosed almost three times as often than men.

  “Next week, we’re going to explore more adequately, the symptoms and diagnostic techniques used to determine whether your patient is suffering from BPD. Then we’ll look at what treatments we can use to help them,” he said in conclusion, excusing the class and reminding them to thoroughly read through the allocated materials as the case study they’ll work on will count toward a large portion of their grade.

  As he packed up his notes and descended from the podium, he could hear the buzz of many conversations as his students did the same thing.

  “Dr Donnelly?” a young girl called out, as he made his up the aisle of the lecture hall.

  He stopped and turned his attention to her. She was a pretty young thing, and obviously felt a little more than a student/lecturer interest in Cayd as she smiled up at him and flirtatiously played with her hair.

  She used the pretence of asking him questions about the lecture to be able to talk to him. Cayd answered her questions carefully, and knowing full well what she was doing, suggested that she take a bit of extra time reading over the course materials so she was better prepared for their next class.

  When Cayd turned away from her, she pouted, but Cayd smiled as he locked eyes with the only woman he cared to spend time with – his Mia.

  “Who was that happy young thing?” Mia asked him quietly, as he pressed a kiss to her temple in greeting and wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders as they started walking away from the lecture hall.

  “Just a student asking asinine questions instead of doing her readings,” he explained, not caring one bit about the girl who had stopped him. But to Mia, seeing him talking to such a good looking girl who was obviously flirting with him, only reminded her of Belle Fleming’s comments about Cayd only being interested in girls while they were young. As much as she didn’t want to believe it, she couldn’t help but worry – what if she too, had a shelf life? She hated to think about it, but it still crept into her mind.

  With a gentle squeeze around her shoulders, Cayd asked, “And to what do I owe this pleasure? I don’t get to see you during the day very often.”

  Mia dragged her thoughts away from the girl and back to Cayd. “Oh, well, I was given a planning afternoon. So there’s a substitute looking after the class.”

  “I see, and since you are the most organised teacher in the world, your planning is done and you came to see me instead.”

  “Bingo,” she winked. “I wanted to see my sexy man lecturing and doi
ng his thing.”

  “You listened in on the lecture?”

  “I did. It was very informative. I almost felt as though I should have been taking notes.”

  Cayd leaned close to her ear. “If I had my own office here, I’d take you in there and quiz you on what you learned,” he growled suggestively.

  Mia was just about to respond when another pretty girl walked past them. “Hello, Dr Donnelly,” she said, as if she was purposely trying to interrupt their exchange.

  All of a sudden, the moment was ruined and Mia felt a pit form in her stomach as she wished she hadn’t gone there.

  “Listen, I might just meet you at home. You’re obviously busy here,” she said, stepping away from him.

  “Hey,” he said, catching her arm and pulling her back toward him, stopping in the middle of the pathway as students streamed past them. “What happened just now?”

  Mia avoided his eyes and shook her head. “Nothing. I just wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have been interrupting you at work…”

  Hooking his finger under her chin, Cayd lifted Mia’s face and waited until she made eye contact. “You are never an interruption to me. You are the only person I want to turn around and find waiting for me. Ignore those girls. Ignore every woman on the planet – they aren’t you,” he whispered, tilting his head down to place a soft kiss on her lips.

  A couple of male students wolf whistled at them at called out, ‘Go for it Doctor Donnelly!’ But neither Mia, nor Cayd paid any attention. Cayd was too busy kissing her worries away and Mia was too busy letting him.

  Chapter 12

  OVER THE next week, Natalie had made little progress in her quest to find out more information on her birth mother. Her parents had given her a large kraft envelope, the colour of coffee stains that contained the contracts and also the photos. Although, Natalie hadn’t even looked inside, instead, she’d taken it from them, thanked them, and then promptly gone to visit Eric with the pretence of him helping her go through it and work out a way to get the information they need.

  When she had arrived at his flat, the envelope had been placed on the benchtop and the two of them had spent the day talking to each other about anything and everything, sometimes kissing, but always touching. They were learning that their attraction to each other was real. It wasn’t just hormones. It wasn’t just a want for things they couldn’t have. It was a real, soul to soul thing that meant they were at their happiest when they were in the same room. Life was getting better for the both of them.

  They had still abstained from getting any more physical than kissing and touching through their clothing as they both knew that to jump into a sexual relationship would be too powerful for the both of them. They remembered what it was like before – how it felt. They had been willing to live a lie together… But this time, they wanted an honest connection, and that meant moving slow.

  Wrapped in a thick woollen cardigan and a pair of knee-high boots over her leggings, Natalie walked against the cold winter wind with her arms wrapped around Eric’s bicep as he plunged his hands into the pockets of his zip-up jacket to keep his hands warm.

  They had headed to Port Jackson to follow the path along Chowder Bay Road that took them on a long walk near the harbour where they could see boats bobbing in the choppy water while they breathed in the fresh sea air.

  “Geez that wind has a bite to it,” Eric commented, as a shiver ran through his body. “I thought Sydney was supposed to be warmer than Melbourne.”

  Natalie huddled in closer to him. “It is most of the time, but we get one month of cold in the winter. How about we stop off at that café up there. They might have some soup to warm us up.”

  As she spoke, Eric was struck by how beautiful she was. Even though she was still overly slim, she was still stunning to his eyes, and even though he’d known her twin, she was still unique to him. There was just something about her, something that made him stop walking and pull her into his arms so that he could kiss her warm mouth.

  “What was that for?” Natalie asked, feeling a little dizzy as he pulled away.

  “I just needed to kiss you,” he responded in all honesty.

  “Do it again,” Natalie breathed, looking up at him, the cold wind whipping at her hair and turning her cheeks bright pink.

  Grinning, Eric moved her hair away from her face and brought his mouth to hers. Natalie’s mind swam as the delicious warmth of his tongue slid against her own. Suddenly, she wasn’t feeling so cold anymore.

  “You’re pretty amazing – you know that, right?” Eric said, as he pulled away again, gently brushing his fingers over her flushed cheek as he spoke.

  “I feel amazing when I’m with you. With you, it’s easy to forget. It’s easy to feel like everything I’ll ever need is right in front of me.”

  Bringing his mouth towards hers again, Eric paused just before their lips touched and said, “I feel exactly the same way.”

  “So, what’s the special occasion?” Mia asked Cayd, as the waiter cleared away their dinner plates.

  During their relationship, Mia and Cayd had gone out to dinner many times, but they rarely went to restaurants that boasted waiters in coat and tails, and menus written in another language without any prices inside.

  “There’s no occasion. I simply thought you’d enjoy a meal in a nice, quiet restaurant,” Cayd replied, reaching across the table to take her hand in his.

  As they gazed at each other, candlelight flickered around them, reflecting off the irises of their eyes. Soft music and even softer conversation filled the air like a quiet murmur, giving the restaurant a hushed and intimate atmosphere. Mia had to admit that she loved it. It felt like they were somewhere very special – which is why she was worried that she had missed something.

  “I feel like I’ve forgotten an anniversary, or a birthday, or something important like that.”

  Cayd grinned and lifted her hand, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “It’s possible I just wanted to see you in that dress again,” he suggested, dropping his eyes to the flattering neckline of the designer dress he’d bought for her in Sydney. It exposed the gentle swell of her breasts, without thrusting her cleavage into one’s face. It was elegant, hugging her curvaceous body in a way that made him want nothing more than to take her home. But to Cayd, that was all part of the tease. He liked to build the anticipation between them. It made their love making all the more spectacular.

  “Dessert?” their waiter asked, proffering a covered dish toward Mia.

  “Oh no,” she said, holding up her hand and shaking her head. “I don’t think I could possibly fit in another bite.”

  “I assure you, mademoiselle, this is a dessert you most certainly want,” he guaranteed, as he lifted the lid and held the tray out to her.

  “Oh, wow,” she breathed, glancing at Cayd for a moment who was sitting back, his thumb pressed against his lips as if he was trying to hide his smile. “Is that what I think it is?” she asked, pointing, but still not touching.

  Cayd reached out and removed a small burgundy box with the word ‘Cartier’ in gold on top of it from the tray, and thanked the waiter before he withdrew from the table.

  Mia’s hand fluttered to her chest as her breathing stilled and she watched Cayd gracefully move from his chair and kneel before her in the middle of the restaurant as he held the box between them.

  “I know this is all incredibly cliché but, I’ve had this ring for the last six months, and I’ve been waiting for the right moment to give it to you. No moment seemed special enough to ask to spend my life with you. So, I felt it was time to create one.”

  From the box, he took out a beautiful platinum ring with a heart shaped diamond set in the centre of two v shaped rows of smaller brilliant cut diamonds – there looked to be at least four carats worth as they sparkled like the stars under the flickering light of the candles.

  Cayd held the ring up for her to see, and took a hold of her left hand, gently rubbing his thumb over her soft skin as
he spoke. “Mia, you are the absolute love of my life. I find you to be such a rare beauty, and it’s not just because of the way you look. It’s also for the way you think and for your passion for life, your work and your friends. It’s for your ability to make others feel like smiling, even when you don’t feel so much like smiling yourself. You are beautiful in every way, Mia. You are beautiful all the way to your soul, and that beauty makes me want the kind of life I never thought I’d have. I want the world with you, Mia. Please, do me the honour of becoming my wife. Will you marry me?”

  Tears fell from her eyes as she listened, and the moment the final question was uttered, she nodded without hesitation and held her shaking hand out for him to place the ring on her finger. “Yes, Cayd. Yes, I’ll marry you,” she choked out, her throat constricted by emotion.

  Taking her face in his hands, Cayd pressed his mouth to hers as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him with all she was worth. Mia loved Cayd so deeply that the mere hint of a life without him could hurt her irreparably. She was more than happy to be his wife. It meant that they would be committed to each other forever – she wanted to be with him forever. She wanted everything with him, and as she looked at the large sparkling ring on her finger, she felt sure that nothing would stand in their way now.

  Chapter 13

  AS WINTER finally approached its end, Natalie and Eric were still no closer to finding out who Natalie and Mia’s birth mother was.

  They had contacted an adoption service who specialised in reuniting parents and children, but the only problem was they couldn’t give out any names unless both parties were actively looking for each other. So, they were at a bit of a standstill in their search.

  Eric had begun working to help fund his continued stay in Sydney. He had originally thought that he would have returned to Melbourne after a few weeks. But, as the months went on, he knew he couldn’t leave Natalie, until he had given their relationship enough time to really develop or at the very least, to run its course.