by K. C. Lynn
Julia reaches out and touches my hand kindly. “It will just take some time. It was a big shock for all of you, but I have no doubt it will get easier.”
Both she and Grace smile at me with understanding, and I decide now is a good time to say what has needed to be said. “I feel like I owe you girls an apology.” They both rear back in surprise.
“What? Why on earth would ya think that?” Grace asks, shocked.
“For what Sawyer and Jaxson went through to save me,” I whisper. Katelyn puts her hand on my leg under the table, to offer comfort, and I try really hard to rein in the guilt I’ve felt for so long, not wanting to make this harder than it already is.
“Oh, Faith, no,” Julia says, her voice sounding as rough as mine. “We don’t blame you at all. Listen, I still don’t know the full extent of what happened. Jaxson has only told me very little, but I know enough. My heart breaks for you all at what happened, and as hard as it is for me to say this, I am glad Jaxson was there for you. Because, if none of them had been there, then they wouldn’t have been able to save Anna either. And God only knows where you both would be now.”
I gasp with surprise at hearing the young girl’s name that I have often wondered about over the last two years. “You have seen Anna?”
Julia smiles genuinely, with tears in her eyes. “Yes. She visits us often and has become a big part of all of our lives. She is doing fabulous and even has a boyfriend she cares very deeply for.”
Not being able to hold back any longer, I cover my face and sob into my hands. Feeling sad for what the young girl went through but also relief at hearing that she’s doing so well. I immediately feel warm, comforting arms around me, and gentle reassurances. I quickly gather my composure, not wanting to cause more of a scene than I already have. Looking up, I see all of them crowded around me with tears in their eyes.
“Oh geez, I’m so sorry,” I apologize, wiping my wet cheeks. “I’m just so happy to hear she’s doing so well. I have often wondered about her.”
“Don’t be sorry, Faith. It’s completely understandable,” Grace says softly. “I just want to add on quickly to what Julia said. Sawyer hasn’t told me much either, but one thing he did tell me was if he had to make the decision all over again and do what he did to help y’all, he said he would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Nobody blames you, so please don’t blame yourself.”
I wish I could tell her I won’t but it’s hard and something I’m trying to work on. As for nobody blaming me… well I’m not so sure about that. No one can speak for Cade. Although, I’m still not sure if that’s the reason why he stayed away from me, or if he can’t deal with what happened to me. I’m even more confused as to what he’s thinking and feeling after our run this morning. There were times today when I could have sworn he looked at me with so much heat in his eyes that it robbed me of breath. And the way he seemed jealous over Blake… Or maybe that’s just what I wanted to see.
“Hey, girls. Sorry I’m late,” Kayla says, rushing into the bakery, pulling me from my thoughts. “I had to…” She comes to a sudden stop when she sees all of us hugging each other with tears in our eyes. “Uh… should I come back?”
I smile and shake my head. “No, no. Come sit down. Sorry, we were just having a heart to heart and the girls were comforting me.”
She takes a seat between Grace and Julia. “Well that’s because Julia and our little Grace here,” she says with a cooing voice, squeezing Grace’s cheeks together, “just love getting all sentimental.”
Grace laughs and slaps her hand away, then leans over and kisses Kayla on the cheek. “Especially with you.” Kayla rolls her eyes but you can tell she’s touched. These girls are seriously great, and I’m glad Katelyn has had such great friends since moving here.
“Anyways, as I was saying when I walked in, sorry I’m late, I had to drop something off for Coop at the station. And the guy, as usual, had to be looking all sexy, so then I had to attack his ass before I left.” We all laugh at Kayla’s satisfied grin, and I have to admit, Cooper is definitely very good looking. All the guys are.
We continue with lunch and don’t talk about Cade or Iraq again. We discuss details of Kayla’s upcoming wedding, and everyone makes sure to include me. Feeling the weight of Katelyn’s stare, I turn to see her watching me with a soft smile. Reaching under the table, she grabs my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. I smile back, and as we all laugh over Kayla’s witty comments, I realize that the five of us are going to become very good friends.
*
That night, after hanging up the phone from my mom, I’m just about to head upstairs to get ready for bed when there is a knock at my door. I glance at the kitchen clock and wonder who would be coming by this late. Walking over, I look out the peephole to see it’s Sawyer. What the heck? I quickly unlock the door and open it.
“Sawyer, hi,” I greet in surprise.
“Hey, Country. I hope it’s not too late.”
“No, not at all,” I lie, not wanting him to feel bad. I guess it isn’t really that late; I’m probably the only single twenty-four-year-old who goes to bed at nine thirty.
“I was hoping I could talk to you for a few minutes before I went and picked up Grace from the bakery.”
“Oh, sure.” I wrap my cardigan around me and step out onto the porch, deciding to talk out here since it’s such a nice night out. “Can I get you something to drink? A water or juice?” I smile when I think about how weird that sounds. “Sorry, I haven’t been to the liquor store yet.”
He grins back. “It’s fine. And no, I’m good.”
I nod and things go uncomfortably quiet while I wait for him to start. Letting out a deep breath, he runs his fingers through his hair, and I start to get nervous for what he’s going to say. “Grace told me about your guys’ conversation today at lunch.”
“Oh,” I say lamely, not knowing how else to reply.
I’m wondering if he’s upset I talked to her about it, but before I can ask or offer an apology he continues. “Look, I know this isn’t easy to talk about, and I probably should have come sooner to see you, but…” He trails off as he tries to find the right words. “I just want you to know I don’t blame you. Everything that happened, it wasn’t your fault.”
My heart immediately swells with guilt. “I appreciate you saying that, but we all know you guys wouldn’t have gotten hurt if you hadn’t come after me.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He shrugs, “who knows what would have happened in the next mission we were supposed to go and do. That was part of our job; we walked in never knowing, but always fought like hell to come out alive. The difference with that mission is it’s one we chose on our own, and it’s a decision we won’t ever regret.”
I stare into his sincere gaze and ask the one question I’m terrified to hear the answer for. “Are you so sure that none of you regret it?”
My throat begins to burn and tears sting my eyes as I fight to hold back the emotions threatening to erupt. Sawyer tilts his head and watches me with confusion. “Yeah, I am. Why? Who the hell do you think regrets it?”
I don’t respond but I know he can see the answer in my eyes. He shakes his head, “Faith, no, he doesn’t.”
I desperately want to believe that but… “He refused to see me once we were transported to that hospital. He couldn’t even look me in the eye after, Sawyer.” My breath hitches as I struggle to hold in my pain. “If it’s not that then it’s because he can’t stand to look at me, knowing what they did to me, and I’m not sure which one is worse.” Not being able to stop it, the last of my words choke off on a small sob.
“Fuck!” he curses angrily, then surprises me by pulling me into him and giving me a hug. After a stunned minute, I return his embrace, wanting him to know how sorry I am. “It isn’t any of those things, I fucking promise you that.”
When I don’t respond, he steps back and takes hold of my shoulders, looking me square in the eye. “Listen to me. I’ve known him almost my whole lif
e. He’s gone through some really terrible shit and it’s fucked him up.”
“I know about his sister,” I whisper sadly, swiping at my cheeks.
He rears back in shock. “You know about Mia?”
“Yes,” I nod, “not much, but he told me about her one night when we were together in Iraq. He told me a minister hurt her.” Remembering that night and the pain on Cade’s expression is enough to have me blubbering all over again, but I manage to hold back since I’m embarrassed enough from losing it a second ago in front of him.
Sawyer stares at me in disbelief for a moment then shakes his head. “Holy shit. I can’t believe he told you.”
“I don’t think he meant to. Unfortunately, it turned into quite the argument. Clearly, my feelings on God and my father being a pastor are different than his.”
“It wasn’t a minister who killed his sister.”
“What?” I say in shock, “But he…”
“It was some sick asshole who his mother shacked up with. The guy ran a polygamy commune and swore he was one of God’s prophets.”
“Oh my gosh,” I whisper, not having any other words.
“He called himself a minister, but we both know that anyone who is a true man of God wouldn’t do that shit. But that is something you won’t ever convince Cade of; believe me I have tried. That’s what I’m saying, Country. He’s fucked in the head; his logic is different than ours. You can’t take to heart the stupid shit he does.”
“I know his logic is different, but he’s a good person,” I whisper truthfully, feeling the need to stand up for him.
Sawyer looks back at me with a grin. “You don’t need to tell me that. He’s the best fucked-up guy I’ve ever known.” We both chuckle then he glances at his watch. “I need to go get Grace.” I nod with a smile. He slings an arm around me and walks me to my door. “Hang in there, Country. I have a feeling shit’s going to start falling into place for all of us.”
Giving me one last squeeze he heads down my stairs. “Sawyer!” He stops and turns back to me. “Thank you. For not only coming here tonight to say that, but for also helping save my life. I’ll never be able to repay any of you.”
He gives me a small smile. “You don’t need to. Like I said, it’s a choice we made that we won’t ever regret.” I return his smile with tears stinging my eyes again. Giving me a small wave, he gets into his truck and takes off.
I walk into the house, lock up and turn off all the lights but one, then crawl into bed. And as I lay in my dimly lit room, I think about everything Sawyer told me tonight.
Could I have been wrong all this time? Was it none of the reasons I thought, as to why he stayed away from me? But if it isn’t that, then why? Letting out a tired breath I close my eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. Hopefully, one day I will be strong enough to ask him.
CHAPTER 12
Cade
I knew it was only going to be a matter of time until the nightmares came back after seeing her, and tonight it had to be the mother of all nightmares: the night we escaped.
Our cell is filled with the sound of heavy boots, treading down the dark, dank cement hall toward us, the air reeking of impending death. Only, if everything goes to plan it will be their deaths and not ours. Thanks to the boy’s mother’s prior visit we just might get out of this fucking place alive.
“Where are you taking me?” Even though I expected to hear it, the sound of Faith’s terrified voice has a fierce fire spreading through my chest.
Keeping to the plan, I stay slack and appear weak. Which isn’t hard. They did a real fucking number on me after I broke that motherfucker’s neck. It’s obviously the reason they stopped giving us drugs. They figure we are weak enough, but what they don’t know is what I have always kept hidden inside of me, and I know it is going to give me the strength I need to get all of us the fuck out of here.
I hear the sound of our cell door opening, and as hard as I try to keep my head down, I can’t. Because after the longest fucking week of my life, I’m finally going to see her.
Two guards walk in first, both with smug smiles on their faces as they carry weapons that look like wooden baseball bats, but have small metal spikes on the ends of them that tear out every piece of flesh it hits.
When they split apart, my gaze lands on her, and I suck in a sharp breath at the sight of her. She’s dragged in by another two guards, one of them being the kid’s father. Wearing a long, black, silk nightgown, her face is pale with fear and swollen from abuse. Every inch of her smooth bare skin that’s exposed is marred and bruised. My darkness rises to the surface, hot and fast, threatening to erupt like a fucking volcano.
As soon as she sees me, pain like I have never seen on someone, washes over her, “Oh my god, Cade? Oh god, oh no.” Ripping away from the bastards who have a hold on her, she runs to me and drops on her knees in front of me. Her hands run along my blood-soaked body, and an agonized sob rips from her throat before she wraps her arms around my neck. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Cade!”
My chest begins to heave rapidly as I struggle to hold in my pain at feeling her trembling body against me. I run my nose across her battered cheek and bring my mouth to her ear, “Be ready, Red. We’re getting the fuck out of here.” I say it quietly enough that only she can hear.
Leaning back, she looks at me and realization dawns in her expression before a stark pain hits her beautiful green eyes. “They killed him,” she sobs, telling me what I already know about the kid. “He tried to save me and they killed him.”
Her agony has me feeling like someone is gutting me from the inside out. I’m just about to tell her everything will be okay but I don’t get the chance. One of the motherfuckers, who dragged her in here, grabs her by her hair and rips her away from me.
“AHHHH! No, let go of me!” She kicks and fights against him, trying to get away. The asshole turns around and backhands her, knocking her to the ground.
My fury ignites to a whole new level, and an enraged roar tears through the air as I fight against the chains that shackle me to the wall. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” I threaten through clenched teeth, “every single one of you motherfuckers are dead!”
I hear Sawyer’s curse, warning me to keep my cool, but I’m beyond that now. The kid’s father starts laughing. “Is that so, Soldier?” Walking up to me, he gets down in my face, his taunting smile coming into view. “I can’t wait until you see what I have in store for you. I am going to fucking break you!”
I give him a lethal smile of my own and look him dead in the eyes. “You can’t break something that’s already broken.” I hear Faith let out another sob, and a flicker of surprise flashes in his eyes before he quickly hides it.
“We’re not soldiers, you fucking idiot. How many times do we have to tell you assholes that? We’re N-a-v-y S-e-a-l-s.” I close my eyes at Evans’ taunt, knowing what the asshole is trying to do.
Standing up straight, the bastard walks over to him and sends a blow to his chest. Sawyer barely makes a sound as I feel pieces of his flesh hit the side of my face. “Navy SEALs. Soldiers,” the dick spits out. “They’re all the same, you all live and breathe your honor. Well, boys, we’re going to see just what it will take for you to break your so-called honor.”
He turns to the men behind him. “Set her up!” They set Faith up on her knees, and fear begins to mix with my rage when the kid’s father walks over to her. Defiance rages in her eyes as she stares up at him stubbornly.
Fierce admiration rises inside of me, but it’s soon forgotten with what the bastard says next. “We’re going to have some fun with this man you seem so smitten with. Maybe you can show him some of the new tricks we have taught you.” He straightens and looks over at me with a smug smile. “Did you know, Soldier, that many of us have fucked her? Tied her to a bed and fucked her while she begged us not to. Then after we fucked her, she got to choke on our dicks.”
A white-hot rage constricts my chest and rushes rapidly through my ve
ins as all the motherfuckers laugh.
“Keep it together, man,” Sawyer mumbles the warning only loud enough for me to hear. Clearly being able to tell I’m about to explode.
A strong dose of guilt mixes with my fury as I watch Faith hang her head in shame and her shoulders tremble with her sobs. Because, once again, I wasn’t able to stop it. Thoughts of what not only happened to her, but also another little girl, who I loved more than anything, runs through my head, and the pain that strikes my chest is brutal and heart stopping.
Trying to hold on to my control, I conjure up all the different ways I am going to kill these motherfuckers. I’m going to gut every single one of them and drain their bodies of all the blood it possesses.
“Akram. Get the soldier ready,” the kid’s father orders.
The one referred to as Akram walks up to me with keys in his hands. I don’t miss the trepidation in his eyes as I glare him down with a sneer. Unshackling me from the wall, but keeping my wrists chained in front of me, he drags me closer to Faith and sets me up the same way she is. I don’t look at her because the sound of her crying is already making it hard to keep my head straight.
Before I can brace myself for what’s about to happen, the bastard starts beating the shit out of me with the bat, the spikes gouging the little flesh I have left on my back.
“STOP!” Faith’s desperate screams rip through the air, causing me more pain than what the blows are. “Oh god, please stop hurting him.”
The asshole finally tires out and I hear more orders being shouted as I try to get my bearings. Before I realize it, Jaxson is suddenly in front of me with a guard behind him, his hands still locked in front of him. Looking over at Faith, I see the kid’s father has taken the one spot next to her. What the fuck? Did I black out?
“Tell me, Soldier, would you ever turn on a fellow brother?” he asks Jaxson.
