Chasing Happiness

by Raine English

  “There’s nothing wrong with that. Anyone would have been,” Katie added.

  Ari sighed. “I know that. I just wish I’d been smarter.”

  Zoe leaned back against the couch cushions and crossed her arms. “But you had no way of knowing things would turn out badly. Like you said, he was the real deal. You can’t blame yourself.”

  “I know that. I guess what I blame myself for the most is not getting out sooner. I should have left right after I realized things weren’t as pretty as the eight-by-ten glossies he took.”

  “I don’t know, Ari. Lots of women stay in relationships they shouldn’t.” The look on Zoe’s face made her wonder if she might be referring to her own.

  “I know, but I just can’t help wishing that I’d done things differently.”

  “When did it start to go bad?” Katie asked.

  “Not right away. And I don’t want you to think it was all Phil’s fault. I’m partly to blame.”

  Zoe’s and Katie’s frowns didn’t go unnoticed. “No, I mean it. I could have said no. I should have, but I was already so far down the road that I didn’t know how to. Phil had put my portfolio together, helped me get signed by the Marty Jacobs Agency, and he’d even set up go-sees with some of his biggest clients. There was no way out. And if I’m being honest, at that point I didn’t want out. I wanted my picture up in Times Square.” She lowered her voice as her eyes filled with tears. “And I got what I wanted, along with a whole lot more.”

  “I don’t think most people would’ve been able to resist that kind of temptation. Fortune and fame are pretty powerful,” Zoe said.

  “I guess you’re right,” Ariana replied softly. “And I had no idea that diet pills could be addictive and the damage they could do to my body. I never questioned what was happening. When Phil gave me a pill, I’d take it. He had me believing a model could never be too thin.”

  “Well, he was wrong,” Zoe said angrily.

  “I know that now. I know a lot of things now that I didn’t know then, like don’t always believe it when a guy says he’s in love with you.” A cold shiver spread over Ari as her thoughts filtered back to the day she left.

  She’d come home early from a big shoot and wanted nothing more than to collapse on the couch in her sweats and watch a little TV. She’d been living with Phil for about six months, and during that time had threatened to leave on many occasions. His controlling behavior and drinking had gotten out of hand, but he always had a way of making her believe things would change.

  Ari took a deep breath, and even though her feelings were still raw, she pushed herself to open up to her friends. “That last day when I walked into our apartment, Phil was in the middle of shooting two models. They were in their underwear, and the coffee table was littered with beer bottles. By the looks on their faces, I was pretty sure I’d interrupted more than just a photo shoot. Instead of making a scene, though, I simply went into the bedroom and closed the door. I planned to confront Phil later when we were alone, but I didn’t get the chance. He left with the models to continue their party somewhere else.” Ariana paused. She swallowed hard and twisted her hands in her lap. It was difficult to continue, but she couldn’t leave her friends hanging.

  “I was so angry that when I saw Phil’s phone on the bedside table, I didn’t think twice about going through it. I’d never, ever done anything like that before. And I despised myself for stooping so low, but I was looking for proof that he cheated on me. I never expected to find a conversation between Phil and Marty, my agent, about their secret arrangement. Phil was getting a percentage of everything I made. I was his cash cow. We weren’t together because of love. It was for money.”

  Awkwardly, she cleared her throat. “I knew I couldn’t be the first woman he’d deceived. How many others had he gotten hooked on diet pills and worse? How many others were stripped of their beauty and maybe even their lives because of him? There was no way to know. But I knew one thing. I had to get out of there. Right then. Before he came home.”

  “That’s when you called me,” Zoe interjected. “You were so upset, the only words I could make out were Portland train station and 1:45 a.m.”

  Ari nodded, her mouth pulled down into a frown. “I could barely think, let alone speak. But I knew what I had to do…what I should have done months earlier. I had to go home.” Her bottom lip trembled, and she looked down at her hands. When she looked over at her friends a moment later, her eyes were blurred by tears. “That was the last time I saw Phil before tonight.”

  Katie smiled at her. “I’m proud of you—a small-town girl thrust into the big city and the modeling scene. You made a name for yourself. And your work was beautiful. No one can take that away from you. Not Phil, not anyone. You did it. You alone. Don’t lose sight of that, Ari.”

  “That’s right,” Zoe added. “You went through a nightmare, but your work was always tastefully done. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I have every one of your magazine covers, and I’ll cherish them always.”

  Ariana got up and went over to the couch to give Katie and Zoe a hug. “Thanks for listening. I’m so glad I have you guys.”

  “You know we’re always there for you,” Zoe said, hugging her back.

  “We love you.” Katie’s voice cracked a little from emotion.

  Ariana had teared up again when Tabby prowled into the room, squawking as usual. Happy for the reprieve, she said, “Oh, don’t tell me you’re hungry again.”

  “She’s really filled out.” Katie’s gazed was fixed on her round belly.

  “Yeah, she’s a happy cat, except when she’s begging for food.”

  “I know the feeling. I’ve never been one to turn down a meal.” Katie laughed and took her cell phone out of her pocket. “I better call Jake before it gets too late.” She headed down the hall toward the bedrooms.

  Ariana picked up Katie’s empty teacup along with her own and carried them into the kitchen, with Tabby close on her heels. A moment later, Zoe was beside her at the sink, rinsing her own cup. Both of them turned around when they heard Katie’s footsteps behind them.

  “Boy, that was a quick conversation,” Ariana remarked.

  A frown lined Katie’s forehead. “There was no answer.”

  “Maybe he already went to bed,” Zoe said.

  “Maybe.” Although, by the look on Katie’s face, it appeared she didn’t really believe that.

  Ariana hoped all was still well in paradise. As she reached in the cabinet for Tabby’s cat food, a cell phone rang. “There he is.”

  “That’s not my phone,” Katie said bitterly. “Isn’t that your phone on the table?”

  Who’d be calling her? She set down the cat food box and went over to the table. When she looked at the name displayed on her iPhone, her heart thundered. “It’s Phil.”

  In a flash, Katie was at her side. “Don’t answer. The best way to deal with him is to ignore him.”

  Ariana wished it were that simple. But she knew not answering wouldn’t make Phil go away. She needed to do something more drastic, but right now she had no idea what that might be.

  Chapter Five

  Zoe picked up the last remnants of trash from yesterday’s party and tossed them in the garbage. She looked over at Katie and Ariana seated at the work bench. They were putting together an arrangement and looked as tired as she felt. They'd stayed up nearly all night discussing Phil and trying to convince Ariana that everything was going to be all right. It didn’t help, though, that Phil had called three times. Obviously, Katie's suggestion to ignore him wasn't working. But what else was there to do? Talking to him wouldn't solve anything, and it might make matters worse.

  The bell over the Rosebud’s front door tinkled, and Zoe went to see who'd come in. A heavy-set woman with long dark hair stood at the counter. “Welcome to the Rosebud. How may I help you?”

  “I’d like a dozen pink roses. It’s my daughter’s birthday.”

  Zoe walked over to the cooler and picked out twelve beau
ties. “Would you like baby’s breath and greens with it? There’s no additional charge.”

  The woman smiled. “Yes, please. That would be great.”

  Zoe ripped some floral paper off the roll to wrap the bouquet then handed it to her. “How’s that?”

  “Beautiful. Thank you.” The woman’s gaze scanned the shop. “You have such a lovely place.”

  Zoe beamed. “Thanks. I’m glad you think so. Do you mind if I ask how you heard about us?”

  “Dan Stevens over at Kelly Realty recommended you.”

  “How nice of him.” She really was going to have to think of a way to thank him for all the business he was sending their way.

  “Thanks again for coming in,” Zoe said as the woman walked out the door.

  The rest of the day went by quickly. They had a steady stream of customers ordering arrangements for birthdays, anniversaries, and whatnot. Their grand opening party had definitely put them on the map.

  “I don’t know about you guys,” Zoe said while locking the shop’s front door, “but I can’t wait to climb into bed. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this exhausted.”

  “I can’t even think about cooking dinner. I think I’ll get some Chinese takeout on the way home and then collapse.” Katie looked over at Ariana. “Think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”

  She offered up a slight smile and turned over her wrist to check her watch for the time. “Yeah, I should be okay. Phil hasn’t called in over three hours.”

  Katie took her by the shoulders. “And if he does, do not answer. Better yet, turn off your phone. There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”

  Ariana kissed them both on the cheek, then the three of them headed across the parking lot to their cars

  Before driving home, Zoe checked her phone for messages. Ariana’s comment that she hadn’t heard from Phil in hours reminded her that she hadn’t talked to Dan since he left the party last night. She wasn’t surprised, having been at the overnight with the girls and then at work all day, but she missed hearing his voice. Zoe started to dial his number but hung up when a better idea popped into her head. She reached into her handbag and pulled out his apartment key. She’d wanted to thank him for sending customers to the Rosebud. What better way than to surprise him by using the key he gave her? The key that she’d said she would never use.

  After hearing about Ariana’s terrible relationship with Phil, she realized just how lucky she was to have Dan in her life. She’d been way too harsh on him at the party and sure didn’t want to lose him. No doubt there were plenty of women ready and waiting to snatch him away from her.

  A smile spread across her face as she envisioned his joy at her showing up unexpectedly. She wouldn’t spend the night, but an hour or two wrapped in his arms would be heaven.

  It was a quick drive to Dan’s apartment, seeing as it was just three miles from the shop. Zoe ran her fingers over the brass key while she rode the elevator up to the tenth floor. Nervous energy pulsed through her, and she nearly leapt into the hall when the doors opened. She hurried toward his apartment, and when she reached it, she put the key in the lock, then quietly turned the knob and tiptoed inside.

  She expected to find him sprawled out in his boxers in front of the TV, but the apartment was quiet. For a moment, she wondered if he was even home, but then noticed the light shining from his bedroom. Quietly, she crept down the hall, careful not to make a sound. When she reached his room, she said, “Sur—” but the rest of surprise caught in her throat. As if turned to stone, she couldn’t move or speak. All she could do was stand there and blink stupidly as she tried to comprehend what she saw.

  Dan quickly pulled the sheet over the naked woman who lay on top of him. “Zoe? What are you doing here?”

  She reached for the doorframe as the room spun. In a voice that sounded unlike her own, she squeaked, “I should be asking you that. However, it’s abundantly clear.” The only thing she was able to move were her pupils as she panned the room, taking in the black lace bra draped over the back of a chair and the burgundy dress on the floor, to the brass key shining on the bedside table. “Apparently, I’m not the only one with a key.” She opened the hand that she’d clenched into a fist and let the key drop to the floor.

  The woman rolled off Dan, her dark hair falling around her shoulders as she pulled the sheet up under her chin. “I’m so sorry.”

  This couldn’t be happening. It was all just a terrible dream. But as Zoe stared into Maggie’s clear blue eyes, she knew that wasn’t the case at all. No, this was real. Horribly, sickeningly real.

  “I think the only thing you’re sorry about is that you were caught.” Zoe shifted her gaze back to Dan, who had slipped on a pair of pants and was zipping them up. “I don’t know which one of you is worse. “You,” she stared into Dan’s panic stricken face, “for cheating and lying all the times you said you loved me. Or you, Maggie, for pretending to be Ariana’s friend.”

  “I wasn’t pretending,” Maggie said softly.

  “Well, if that’s true, and I don’t know why I should believe you, that’s even worse, because a friend would never have done this. You had to know this would hurt Ariana almost as much as it has me.”

  “Zoe, I can explain.” Dan took a step toward her, but she put her hand out.

  “Don’t. It’s done. We’re done. There’s nothing you can say or do that will change anything.” Zoe spun on her heel and ran out of the apartment. She couldn’t tell if there were footsteps behind her or not, because all she could hear was the blood whooshing through her head.

  It wasn’t until she was inside her car and trying to stick the key in the ignition that she realized her entire body was shaking. She didn’t know where to go or what to do, so she just stared aimlessly out the window while the naked images of Dan and Maggie played over and over in her head like a movie on continuous loop.

  The sound of rapping on the window brought her back to the present.

  “Open your window,” Dan shouted.

  “What for?” she yelled back.

  “Because I need to talk to you. We can’t leave things like this.”

  A strangled laugh escaped her lips. “Leave things like how? My world has suddenly been ripped apart. Tell me, Dan, what magic can you work to put it back together?”

  He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

  “That’s what I thought.” She started her car. “Move away.”

  He shook his head and stood there with his palms pressed against the glass. “I can’t let you leave like this.”

  It wasn’t the possibility of running over his feet that kept her there, it was the memory of Ariana jumping every time her phone rang. That wasn’t going to be her. She had to deal with Dan now.

  She lowered her window and stared at him with narrowed eyes. ‘There’s nothing you can say that will take away my pain. However, there is one question you can answer, and then I never ever want to see or hear from you again. Why?”

  He took a deep breath, shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and lowered his gaze to the ground. “I don’t know, other than I guess I was tired of waiting.”

  Fury almost choked her. How dare he try to blame her? “You’ve got to be kidding. You can’t do better than that?”

  “I wanted things to work. I really did. That’s why I gave you the key.”

  “And not a ring. You were never going to make that kind of a commitment. I mean, how could you? You had two women—two women with keys to your apartment. A fatal mistake, Dan, and I thought you were smarter than that. Guess I misjudged you in more ways than one.”

  He shuffled his feet back and forth. “I didn’t give her a key. She took it, and I—”

  “Stop! Stop!” Zoe couldn’t believe her ears. “So now you’re blaming Maggie.”

  “No, no. That’s not it.”

  “You know what, Dan, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to hear anything more from you. Whatever feeble excuses you come up with ar
en’t going to change a thing. You’re a liar and a cheat, and I deserve better. Way better than you. I think Maggie has done me a favor.” With that said, Zoe raised her window and sped away, leaving a dirt cloud around Dan’s shocked face.

  When she got home, she was glad that her mom had already had dinner and was in her room. The last thing she wanted was food or to have a conversation. She’d held her emotions in check for about as long as possible—thankfully she’d been dry eyed during the scene with Dan—but that was all about to change.

  Once inside her bedroom, she flopped onto the bed and let the tears flow. She’d known years ago that her decision to wait until marriage would be off-putting to a lot of men, but she’d truly thought Dan was okay with it. If she’d thought otherwise, she never would have given him her heart.

  Obviously, what happened tonight had happened for a reason—Dan wasn’t the man for her—but that didn’t make it any less painful. She felt used and betrayed by someone she had trusted completely… Just like Ariana had been by Phil. Oh Lord! How was she going to tell her about Maggie? Ari had been through so much already.

  Zoe thought back to the other day when Katie, Ariana, and she had been giddy with joy at the opening of the Rosebud. How quickly things had changed. Luckily, Katie and Jake were still crazy in love. That thought left her a little fearful, though. Didn’t they say bad things always happened in threes?

  Chapter Six

  Katie took one last bite of sesame chicken, then put her fork down and closed the lid on the Chinese takeout. “I can’t believe how stuffed I am.”

  Jake, who’d finished eating a good ten minutes ago, looked up from the computer he had balancing on his lap. “Me too. We haven’t had Chinese in a while. Maybe that’s why it seemed especially good tonight.”