Northern Light

by Annette O'Hare

  22

  Margaret’s heart was still aflutter after finding the wedding ring in her bowl. She put away the clean dinner dishes in silence, dreaming of her future.

  “What’s wrong with you, Margaret?” June put her hand on her hip. “I just dried that bowl and you put it back in the dishwater.”

  Margaret chuckled at her mishap. She leaned over to her sister’s ear and whispered, “Can you keep a secret?”

  “Uh-huh.” June’s eyes grew with excitement.

  “I got the wedding ring in my bowl of colcannon. That means someone is going to ask me to marry them.”

  June turned Margaret’s head so she could whisper into her ear. “I bet it’s gonna be Thomas.”

  “Oh, I hope you’re right.” She straightened and handed the bowl back to June for drying.

  All the dishes were clean, except for Elizabeth’s. Mama had scraped what remained of the colcannon into her bowl and left it on the table, waiting for her to return.

  Margaret thought about her sister, wondering once again what they were to do as a family for her. Elizabeth, what is happening to you? Why are you acting this way? Are you ever going to get better?

  Her sadness over Elizabeth’s plight led her heart down a melancholy path—and so close to Christmastime. Thomas’s departure was drawing ever closer with each passing day.

  “Come on, June, it’s time for the Advent candles.” She took June’s hand and went into the other room, determined to make the best of these last few days with Thomas.

  The glow of lamplight warmed the area where Mama, Thomas, and Jeremiah gathered, ready to start the service.

  Papa opened the front door. “Elizabeth,” he hollered.

  “Jeb, she won’t be able to hear you if she’s at Langley’s place,” Mama murmured.

  Papa stepped away from the door and took his coat off the hook. “That’s it. I’m going over there.” His eyes revealed worry.

  “She’s coming up the road!" June had gone out to the porch, but ran back in with the news.

  Tension eased out of Papa’s shoulders.

  Margaret handed Thomas the Bible.

  He started flipping through the pages.

  June plopped down next to them.

  Elizabeth came through the door as if she were sneaking in late for church service. A sudden gust of bitter-cold air followed her into the room. The mood of everyone seemed to change in an instant with her arrival.

  Margaret clutched her arms against the cold.

  Elizabeth’s eyes met Papa’s, and she froze.

  Papa shut the door behind her. “We’re going to have ourselves a long talk after this service. You understand me, young lady?”

  “Yes, sir.” Elizabeth kept her back arrow-straight as she walked across the room and took a seat next to Mama.

  Papa turned his attention to Thomas and gave him a nod.

  “All right, now the third week of Advent is to remember the shepherds who were the first to hear the joyous announcement of Christ’s birth. Tonight I’ll be reading from the book of Luke.” Thomas smiled at his listeners. “‘And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.’” Thomas’s tone deepened.

  “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Afraid. That’s so funny!”

  Thomas stopped reading and turned to Elizabeth. Everyone else in the room looked at her as well.

  Mama leaned forward and put her hand on her daughter’s knee. The obvious smile she tried to paste on her face wasn’t doing its job. Her lips quivered. “Elizabeth…what’s so funny, dear?”

  Elizabeth’s eyes were as wild as a cornered animal. “Thomas made me think about how afraid everybody will be in the morning when the soldiers arrive.”

  For a moment, the entire family was frozen.

  Margaret stood.

  Thomas reached out and put his arm around her waist to draw her close. June raised her arms to him and he brought her into his lap.

  Papa stepped inside the circle of light put off by the oil lamp. His countenance was grave. “Look at me, Elizabeth. Do you know something about another raid?”

  “Not those kind of soldiers, Papa!” Elizabeth looked at Papa, then put her hand to her mouth and started to giggle for no apparent reason.

  “Oh dear…Elizabeth, what have you done?” Mama swung Jeremiah to the floor and stood.

  “How long did you expect me to hide this little plot of yours, Mama? I waited as long as I could, but I had to tell someone. Mr. Langley was all but speechless…the very idea that we would hide a Yankee sailor right here in our home with a fort full of Confederate soldiers right down the road. He couldn’t believe his ears.”

  “Oh, Jeb…” Mama’s voice was weak.

  Papa walked over to the side table and picked up his pipe, tobacco pouch, and matches. The front screen door opened and slammed shut. The sound of one of the rocking chairs creaked on the porch and then a match was struck. Through the window, the lantern’s light glowed.

  “And…Mr. Langley said he’s going over to Fort Greene at the first sign of light in the morning to inform them of your…what did he call it? Oh yes—treason.” Elizabeth was calm.

  “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Margaret shouted. “Don’t you realize that if one of us is arrested for treason, we’ll all go to jail? Not only that, Thomas will be sh-shot, or hanged.” A stream of tears flowed down her cheeks at the sudden realization. “Elizabeth! I can’t believe you would do such a thing. Papa is right…you are crazy!”

  Mama gasped. “Margaret, don’t talk like that.” She then turned to Elizabeth. “She didn’t mean what she said. Papa would never say such a thing.” Mama’s hand flew to her mouth, and she started to choke on a flood of tears.

  “Mama, I don’t need you to explain my actions to Elizabeth. She is completely to blame here. And I sure don’t see anyone trying to explain what caused her to do the unthinkable.”

  Mama collapsed onto her chair. “Oh, Elizabeth, why have you done this to us?”

  “Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma,” Jeremiah mournfully whined, his head lying on Mama’s lap.

  No longer able to look at her sister, Margaret turned to Thomas.

  He held his arm out to her while holding tight to little June. She rushed to his side and fell into his embrace.

  “Why would Lizbeth do such a bad thing?” June ran to Mama.

  “I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know.” Mama caressed her hair.

  Papa pushed through the front screen door, and it slammed behind him.

  “Caroline, dry your face and pull yourself together. We’ve got a lot of work to do and very little time to do it. Elizabeth, I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day.” He pointed toward the room the three sisters shared. “Now get in there and don’t come out.”

  Elizabeth went toward the bedroom door, then stopped. “It’s too late, Papa. There’s nothing you can do to change what’s been done.”

  “Leave the room…now!”

  She slammed the door behind her.

  “June, take Jeremiah into our room and lay down on the bed with him. Hopefully, he’ll take a nap.” Papa shooed her and Jeremiah into their room.

  “Thomas, I’ll go talk to Mr. Langley. Maybe I can make some kind of deal with him, if he agrees not to go to the fort.” Papa was determined.

  “I don’t understand. What kind of deal would you make with him?” Margaret asked.

  “I don’t know, Margaret. Maybe I could offer to do some work for him or give him something of value in exchange for his silence.”

  Margaret nodded.

  Papa turned his attention back to Thomas. “Either way, I think you should prepare to leave, son.”

  Margaret began to shake, terrified
that she would soon be bawling. “But I’m not ready for Thomas to leave. Not now—not yet. We were supposed to have our first Christmas together.”

  Papa ignored her. “Caroline, go pack up enough food to carry Thomas over for a few days.”

  Mama wiped her eyes and headed for the kitchen.

  “Mr. Logan, I think it’s best if I leave right away…tonight. That way, if the soldiers come, you can deny ever having me here. I don’t want anything to bring harm to this family or the woman I love.” He looked at Margaret and stroked her hair. “Let me go and gather up a few things.”

  Margaret’s body swayed and her head began to pound. She put her arms out to steady herself, but there was nothing to hold on to. “Oh, Papa, I can’t breathe!”

  Papa put an arm around her waist. “Steady, girl.” He guided her to a chair and took hold of her hands. “All right now, slow and easy, take a breath, in and out.”

  The room stopped spinning and she was able to breathe again.

  “There we go.” Papa lifted her chin. He spoke to her from a faraway place. “Look at me, Margaret. This isn’t the end. I know Thomas will find a way to come back for you. He loves you. Now, if you love him, you will help me get him away from here as quick as we can. Listen to me. Thomas can…not…be…here if Old Man Langley goes and reports him to the soldiers at the fort. This is something we have to do to keep Thomas safe. I’m sorry, honey, but there’s no other way.”

  Something clicked inside Margaret’s mind. She sat up straight. “You’re right, Papa. We need to get him out of here…now.”

  “Good girl, now come give me a hand getting things ready.”

  Margaret grabbed his arm. “Papa, promise me you won’t let them find Thomas.”

  “I’ll do my best, honey.”

  “You don’t understand, Papa. I thought I would surely die when I lost Jeffrey, but somehow I managed to go on. But now…I love Thomas so much more than I’ve ever loved anyone else before.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Papa, I don’t know what I would do if anything happens to Thomas.”

  “We’re not even going to think that way. We’ve been through some mighty tough things in the past, and every time, God has seen us through.”

  Margaret heard what Papa said, and she truly did trust God in everything. But she knew in her heart that if anything happened to her Thomas, she didn’t trust what she might do to herself…or to Elizabeth. And that frightened her more than anything ever had.

  23

  Had it been any other time, the magnificent golden sunset slowly melting into Galveston Bay would have fully captivated Margaret’s attention. But today its beauty mocked. It would be the last sunset she would share with the love of her life, perhaps forever, should he be captured by Confederate forces. No, she couldn’t enjoy it, not with Thomas being forced to leave, no…run for his life.

  They stood behind the house where they’d spent so much of their alone time together, Thomas’s strong arms wrapped around her. There were few words between them even though a thousand questions burned in her mind. Would it be the last time she felt his embrace? What would happen to him after he left the peninsula? Would he come back for her?

  “Look at me, lass. Ye don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine, I promise. I plan to make my way back up north and check on my pap and brothers. Then I’ll meet up with my unit and serve out the rest of my time in the Navy. Look at the bright side—there’ll be a pot of back pay waiting for me to collect. Then I’ll come back for ye, and we’ll live like kings.”

  Margaret wanted to smile, but her heart, it was broken. “How can you be so lighthearted at such a time as this?”

  “Because I don’t want this to be a sad goodbye. Can’t we just think of it as a farewell for now?”

  She couldn’t help that her lips quivered. “Shut up and kiss me before I start crying again.”

  He pressed his lips against hers. Then he clasped her face and looked deep into eyes that brimmed with the promise of tears. “Will you give me your word you’ll wait for me, lass?”

  “I—I promise…I’ll wait for you.” She wiped her eyes. “But only if you’ll promise to come back for me.”

  “I promise with all my heart.”

  Someone approached.

  Papa came out holding a lantern. He cleared his throat. “Well, son, I suppose we’d better go. I’m leaning on a hunch that Mr. Nagle’s boat should leave for Galveston within the hour. If not, we might be up a creek.” Papa scratched his head. “Soon as I get back, I’ll head straight over to Langley’s place. I’ll tell him you’re already miles away and there’s no need to bother the men at the fort. Lord knows, they have enough to worry about defending our coast.”

  “Aye, sir, I’ll be right along.”

  Margaret felt as if the air was sucked from her lungs.

  Thomas put his hand against the back of her head and they shared another meaningful yet heart-wrenching kiss. “Goodbye, lass. Know that I’ll always love ye.”

  “I love you too, Thomas.” She barely got the words out.

  Their figures faded into the darkness. Finally, the light from Papa’s lantern disappeared from sight. And Thomas was gone.

  ~*~

  Margaret came into the front room.

  Mama opened her arms to let Margaret collapse into them.

  They held each other, shaking and sobbing.

  “Oh, Margaret, I can’t help but feel I pushed you into Thomas’s arms only to have your heart broken again.”

  “It’s not your fault, Mama. I just don’t know what I’ve done to deserve having my heart crushed again. Why is God punishing me like this?”

  “Oh, honey, God isn’t punishing you.” She stroked Margaret’s hair.

  “I already lost a fiancé. That should be enough for one lifetime.”

  “Well, it’s not for us to question what God does. And whatever happens, you must have faith that God is in control, and He knows what’s best for us. You have to believe that, Margaret. Besides, I know Thomas will come back for you. He loves you too much not to.”

  “How can you know for sure, Mama?”

  “I just feel it in my heart. God will bring Thomas back to you.”

  “I hope you’re right, Mama.” She wiped her eyes. “I just don’t understand why Elizabeth hates me so much that she would do such a terrible thing to me, Thomas, and the family.”

  “I—I really don’t think Elizabeth knows what she’s doing, honey. I’m afraid you were right. Her mind is slipping away from us.” Mama sniffed back tears.

  Margaret reached up and wiped her cheek. “What are we going to do with her, Mama?”

  “I don’t know, honey…I just don’t know.”

  “What if she gets worse? What if she tries to hurt June or Jeremiah? Will we have to lock her away like Papa’s aunt would lock away his cousin Emma?”

  “Don’t even say that, Margaret. We just need to pray and hope she gets better, that’s all.”

  “But what if she doesn’t, then what?” Desperation tinged Margaret’s words. “Why did they lock Emma away when she had her spells? How could that even help?”

  “All my daddy’s medical training didn’t teach me a thing about how to handle insanity. No amount of stitches and splints can help mend the human mind. People locked their loved ones in a closet because it was all anyone knew to do. Emma’s family did it so she wouldn’t hurt herself…or the people who loved her.” Mama covered her eyes as she continued talking. “I won’t do it, Margaret. I won’t lock Elizabeth away in a closet. There’s got to be a better way.”

  “But what, Mama?” Margaret pushed Mama’s hand away. “Answer me, Mama. What are we gonna do?”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

  Margaret collapsed onto an overstuffed chair. A thought crossed her mind. “Mama, what ever happened to Papa’s cousin, Emma? Does she still live with her parents in Louisiana?”

  All the blood drained from Mama’s face. She stared at a picture
on the wall. “Margaret, I’ve never told anyone this, and it’s not to be shared. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Nerves fluttered.

  “Emma’s full name was Emma Margaret Caldwell. We named you after her.”

  “Why haven’t you ever told me that before?”

  “Folks don’t talk about such things. We named you in memory of Emma. She’s dead, honey…she hung herself.”

  Part Two

  24

  Thomas would walk until his feet bled, and then he would beg a ride on wagons heading north. It seemed he would never make it to New York. Finally, he arrived in Tennessee where he was told there were northbound train tracks.

  He jumped a train along with a group of unsavory-looking characters. With his dirty, disheveled clothes and the scruffy growth on his chin, he wondered if those he rode with thought him one of their own. What would Margaret think were she to see him now?

  For some strange reason it was comforting to think the lot of them were more than likely in the same boat he was. Jumping the train was illegal and ungodly, and it made him feel about as low as he ever had. But having no means to pay his way and needing to get back to his duty as a sailor, he asked God to forgive him, and he’d figure out a way to pay later.

  After many long weeks of travel, Thomas arrived in Yonkers, New York, on a Sunday afternoon. Winter plunged its frigid hooks into the North. Dirty brown snow piled high on street corners and people walked about clad in layers of thick clothing.

  The smell of soot and smoke from well-used chimneys saturated the air. Thomas rubbed his arms against the brutal cold. He longed to hold his beloved Margaret next to a warm fireplace but would have settled for a warm winter coat. The only thing that made this place desirable to him was that he didn’t have to fear capture by the Rebels and that his family was nearby. The town seemed to go on as usual despite the war raging in the South.

  The little row house where his father lived remained intact with its peeling paint and rotting eaves. The distinct smell emanating from the house confused Thomas, as he’d never known his pap to smoke meat before. His mouth watered with the wonderful smell of food. He rapped on the door. An elderly man answered, but it wasn’t Pap. A streak of fear dashed through his heart.