Forever

by Mary Wasowski

  He was perfectly healthy and could go home with me tomorrow. After our son was settled into the nursery, I was approached by a transplant team.

  Elizabeth’s organs needed to be harvested, time was of the essence. I needed to make a decision on what to do. She never told me she was an organ donor. Although she suffered a stroke, her organs were still viable, but would eventually shut down. How could I make this decision on my own? Her parents had left New York and settled in Arizona. I’m all alone out here and I need my wife, I need Elizabeth to show me the way. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. How can after everything we’ve been through, this right here be the ending of our story? I collapsed onto the floor and wept like I have never done in my life. My child was depending on me now, and Elizabeth would have wanted me to be strong.

  She had been complaining of headaches in the last trimester of her pregnancy. Her doctors assured us that sometimes this is normal, and Elizabeth showed no other symptoms to raise any red flags. Right after arriving in California, I threw myself into work, and running the business with my vision and plans for its future. Elizabeth created a home for us, paying attention to every last detail. Every room she decorated spoke volumes on how she could make a room inviting and warm. We chose our home together, and vowed to fill it always with love… and the sounds of many children. I knew once she gave me my son or daughter, how could I not want more to fill this large home.

  We were both only children, and it can be very lonely growing up, especially in our circle. While our parents were close friends, it was expected for their children to be close as well. Elizabeth followed me everywhere I went, until finally I pulled her pony tail. I was hoping she would get mad and not bother me again, but not Elizabeth, she didn’t cry. She pulled my hair, and I was the one shrieking. She wouldn’t release my shaggy head of hair until I apologized to her. Once I did, we laughed and her smile lit up like the sun. From that day forward, Elizabeth and I became best friends.

  Now as I agonize on what to do, my best friend is gone. She has unselfishly consented to donate her organs to another life in need. This is the person that I have always known her to be. She puts the needs of others before her own. I lifted my mentally drained body from off the floor, and heard wailing voices from the other side of the door. It was her parents, Henry and Gail. They took one look at me, and knew that their daughter was gone. Henry caught his wife in his arms. They held on to each other and screamed… “No! Not our Elizabeth.”

  Her father took me in his arms and wept on my shoulder. I had nothing to give back, but I’m sorry. My wife is dead, and my newborn son barely survived. In a matter of a few hours, the life that I had known and lived happily had completely changed. The sound of the machines breathed life into my wife now.

  “Where is she? Where is our daughter?” Henry asked through his tears.

  “She’s still up in the O.R. Henry, Gail, did you know that Elizabeth was an organ donor?” The look on their faces tell me no. Apparently, she has been for several years now. Her new California license says the same as her New York one. The transplant team is on standby and waiting on my answer for consent. Elizabeth wanted this. I don’t know why she never mentioned it to me, but they need an answer. Time is running out to harvest her organs.”

  “You are her husband, Walker. You consent to what your wife would have wanted. Can I ask about our grandchild? Is he okay?”

  “He’s beautiful, Henry, just beautiful.”

  “Can we see him? He’s all we’ve got left.” Her mother weeps in her husband’s arms.

  “Gail, Henry, you will always be part of his life. Elizabeth will live on through our son, and he’s going to need his grandparents in his life. You are amazing people, and our son will always love you.”

  Just then the doors burst open, and my father makes his presence known, barking out orders and demanding information. I’ve taken all I can take, I’m not ready to go round and round with Phillip Reed right now. My mother is crying and consoling her friend. My father walks up to me and gives me a half hug.

  “I’m so very sorry for your loss, my son. Is there anything we can do for you?” Yeah, you can give my wife back.

  “No, father, there is nothing you can do for me. I need some time alone if you don’t mind.”

  I turn away from them, and head to the nursery. I need to see my son. I need to hold him, and feel him against my skin. He is the one thing that can get me through this nightmare I’m living right now. The nurse buzzes me in, and I put on the necessary gown that I need to wear in here. I wash my hands over and over again until I’m satisfied that I’m clean. The older grey haired nurse squeezes my shoulders gently and tells me that it’s okay to be nervous, he won’t break.

  How did she know this is one of my fears? He truly is all I have left of Elizabeth. I must always put him first above everything else in my life. I gaze into his beautiful brown eyes as I make many promises to him. He coos softly in my arms, as my tears fall.

  I rock him gently and my mind drifts to Elizabeth and me just hours ago, asleep in our bed. She gently nudged me to wake, but I was out of it. I had just put in a fourteen hour work day and was completely exhausted. We had dinner together, and then I retired for the evening. Elizabeth joined me a short while after. She didn’t show any signs of alarm. Did she, and I was too oblivious to notice? No! No matter how hard I worked, I always made sure her every need was met before taking care of my own.

  How did we get here? We were asleep in our bed, and her water broke. I woke and sprang from our bed. Elizabeth was fearless, she simply got up, changed into fresh clothes, and reached for my hand.

  “This is it. We get to meet our son, Walker. I love you so much, and I hope he looks like you.”

  “I love you too, and I only want him to be healthy and of course look like his beautiful mother.” She smiles at me. I am so in love with her.

  “Well, let’s go meet our son.” My wife was beaming. I couldn’t help but be happy at this moment. I was about to become someone’s father. The feeling felt so surreal to me. I kept looking over to Elizabeth for any signs of pain she may have been experiencing, but all I saw was her smile.

  After we checked in to the hospital, we were greeted by her doctor. The phone calls have been made to our families, and Elizabeth’s parents were on their way. I was sure to be seeing my father soon enough. He had been out here in California since I slowly eased into my new position at Reed Global. It hasn’t been the power struggle I anticipated it would be with my father, but so far he has let me stand on my own. I was holding Elizabeth’s hands while watching the monitor beep, and could see my son’s heartbeat jump on the screen.

  Everything appeared to be fine, until Elizabeth began to wince in pain. She was holding her head, and before I even had a chance to ask her what was wrong, her eyes closed, and her doctor arrived screaming for assistance. “Code Blue in room 5146B, Code Blue.”

  I began screaming at the doctor, “What’s wrong with my wife?” I was ignored, and they began to work on Elizabeth. I was literally pushed out of the room as I watched my wife fight for two lives: her own and our son’s. What the hell just happened? We were laughing and talking, and now she has a team of doctors surrounding her.

  I felt powerless. No one would tell me anything. Hospital staff was entering and exiting her room, machines were brought in. Someone tell me what the hell is going on?

  I fell to the floor and held my head between my knees. I never prayed so hard in my life. “Please God, don’t take my family away from me. Please watch over them.” My tears began to fall when her doctor and a man I never met approached me. I shakily rose from the floor and was asked to join them in another room where it was more private. I demanded to know what the hell was happening with my wife, but they insisted we move to a room where we can be alone. I had no choice but to follow.

  “Mr. Reed, this is Dr. Leviatian, he is our head of Neurology Department here at Cedars-Sinai.”

  “Hello. What’s wrong w
ith my wife? And why does she need a Neurologist?”

  “Mr. Reed, I’m very sorry, but your wife suffered a Hemorrhagic Stroke. It’s what we call Arteriovenous Malformations (AVMs). It is a congenital malformation of blood vessels in the brain that can rupture into the brain tissue as they get larger. In your wife’s individual case, they may have been increased in size due to her pregnancy.”

  “What are you telling me? My wife, Elizabeth… she’s dead?” as soon as the words left my mouth, I reached for a wastebasket and vomited profusely until nothing was left. I felt all my strength leave my body as the two doctors helped me back into my chair.

  “Mr. Reed, your wife is on a respirator keeping her and your child alive right now. Technically your wife has been declared brain dead. She will never wake up. Time is of the essence, she is being prepped right now for an emergency C-Section. If your child has any chance of survival, we must take him now. We just need your consent.”

  My instinct to protect my child gave me the strength to move. We quickly arrived at the OR where I saw Elizabeth strapped to the table. I held her hand and listened to the whooshing sound of the monitor keeping her alive.

  “SIR, I’M SORRY to disturb you, but your son needs to be fed.” The sweet grey haired nurse had returned, bringing me out of my tortured memories of the night’s events.

  “Can I feed him,” I asked.

  “Why don’t you let me do it for now? Dr. Leviatian and his team would like to speak with you.” Of course they do. They want to rip out my Elizabeth’s organs, and completely ravage her beautiful body.

  I could feel the walls of my chest tightening around my heart. I was in so much pain and at the same time, so in love with my child. “Please be careful with him, he’s all I have left of my wife,” I say as I gently lay a kiss on his delicate head.

  “I will, sir, and I’m so very sorry for your loss.” Somehow her words gave me comfort. She reminded me of Lila, Reese’s grandmother. I made my way down the long corridor, and that’s when I heard angered voices.

  “This is my hell, Phillip. God is punishing me for what I did to Walker. He has taken my precious daughter away from me. Sins of the father. My sins. Your sins. They have led us here to this moment,” Henry cries out in pain.

  “Pull yourself together, man. No one could predict what happened to Elizabeth. It was an unforeseen tragedy, and you have to stop this crazy talk right now. Walker has been through enough, he can’t handle you breaking down too. We made our choices, Henry. Now live with them, as I have had to.”

  “What the hell is going on here?” I burst through the door. I only made out a few words from their conversation, but I knew I had heard my name.

  “There you are, son. We were worried about you. Can we get anything for you?” my father appeared to be all too eager to change the subject. While my father paced the hallway, Henry took me in his arms.

  “I am so sorry.” He weeps again on my shoulder. I have cried enough of my own tears to last me a lifetime. He asks, “What happens now?”

  “I have to meet with the transplant team now. They are going to let us say our goodbyes before taking Elizabeth. Where’s Gail? She needs to be here.”

  “Oh dear god, my baby girl. Why did this happen to her?” He takes me in his arms, and he breaks down once again. I don’t know how much more I can take, but my father seems to read me like a book and helps me detach from Elizabeth’s distraught father. I silently thank him.

  After talking with the doctors and transplant team, I signed the papers. I wanted to be the last one to say goodbye to Elizabeth, so I waited outside for her parents and my parents to finish. It felt like an eternity, but they needed their closure. How can any of us ever have closure to this tragedy? Yesterday I had everything a man could want in one’s lifetime. Now in the next few days, I will be placing my beautiful wife in the cold ground. How is that fair? Why my wife?

  Our son had been brought to me as our families were exiting her room. I realized not one of them has even had a chance to really look at him or even hold him. I didn’t want to let him go, but they had every right to meet their grandchild.

  “Oh my goodness, he is so beautiful. He has her eyes. Henry, come look at your grandson.” Gail’s tears stopped falling and were replaced with smiles. Elizabeth was living on through our son. He would be the one to heal all of us.

  “Have you decided on a name for your boy, son?” My father is probably thinking he will be named after him.

  “Yes, we named him the minute we found out he was a boy. Please meet Jackson Walker Reed.” Their eyes lit up, and our mothers began to cry again. Phillip just patted me on my back, while Henry began to fall apart again. I could take no more, and I excused myself. I needed my time with Elizabeth. I carried Jackson in my arms, and sat beside Elizabeth. She looked so peaceful, a sleeping angel. I knew she was gone, but her heart was still beating, and I wanted our son to feel his mother. I placed him gently beside her and held him in place as I began telling him about his beautiful mother.

  “Jackson, this is your mommy, Elizabeth. She loves you so much. She will always be with you my son. For the rest of your life, you will carry your mother in your heart, as she watches over you from the heavens above. Never be afraid, she is the strongest person I know, and not a day will go by that you won’t feel her love running through you. She taught me so much, and even when I was facing my darkest hours, she was there to bring me back to life.”

  “Your mother saved me, and gave me the greatest treasure I will ever receive. She gave me you, Jackson. I love you so much, and I promise you that I will never fail you. You are my life, and you will always have me on your side.”

  Our son cooed with hearing my words, he is only hours old, but I know he recognizes my voice. I talked to Elizabeth’s belly every single day and night. We sang to him, read stories, and every time we had finished, he would kick his mother. I guess he liked what he was hearing.

  My time was up. With Elizabeth attached to a machine, I couldn’t take a picture of them, so I just mentally stored the image of my son in his mother’s embrace. It would forever be in my memory. I would relive this moment with Jackson when he was ready to hear it. The transplant team was waiting up in the OR for my wife. I placed Jackson back in his rolling bassinet and kissed my wife one last time.

  “I love you, Elizabeth. Thank you for our life together. Thank you for our son. I will not fail you or him. Please watch over us, I never thought I would be doing this without you. I’m going to need your strength to guide me and show me the way. I know your confidence in me, but I’m still scared. God! I’m going to miss you.” I wept and tried to hold her the best I could. I didn’t want to let her go. This was hell. How can this be happening? I was lost in my grief when the transplant team had arrived. I was oblivious to their presence.

  “I’m sorry, sir, but its time.” I nodded and stepped aside so the team could move her.

  I HELD MY son once more, as I watched Elizabeth be taken away by the team of doctors. She would be responsible for saving lives today, while hers was lost.

  The End…for now

  The Forever Series continues with Walker and Reese’s story in Book Two, Second Chance at Forever

  Scheduled for release in August, 2014.

  We meet again…

  What would you do if given a second chance to right a wrong from your past… A wrong that should have never happened… A wrong that haunts you every day…

  Would you stop at nothing to reclaim the one person you built your entire future around? Hell, Yes!...You would!

  Walker Reed, has everything a man could desire.

  Power…Success…Wealth…

  What he didn’t have was Reese Mitchell. The one woman who held his heart. One night she walked out of his life; disappearing without a trace, shattering Walker, and causing his heart to ache for her return.

  Seventeen years later…fate has reunited them with an unexpected twist. His Second Chance at Forever is standing before
him and looking as beautiful as he remembers her to be.

  Determined to find out why she left him, Walker will not stop to learn the truth.

  He’s taking back what’s his…This time around, he will not let her go…

  First and foremost a big thank you to Kathleen. You wore many hats helping me bring this book to life. Thank you so much for our talks, the laughter you always bring, and the smiles that I carry with me. You bring so much to my writing and make me better. Your support and encouragement means so much. I will forever be thankful for the universe bringing us together in friendship. XO

  Trudie: Thank you for being my number one beta reader. I’m never nervous when I send you something to read for me. I love your comments and your creative feedback. You make me laugh out loud with your excitement. Thank you for joining me on this crazy ride I call my life. Sisters Forever!

  Richard: You inspire me in so many ways. Wine night would not be possible without you. Ti amo il mio amico.

  Joe: My newest member of my reading team, but always my friend first. Thank you for your friendship and what it brings to our family.

  To my readers: Thank you for joining me on this journey of mine, for loving my characters, and for all the love and support you show me. I read every single message left for me on my Facebook author page. It warms my heart to know that something that I have created makes you all smile.

  For my beautiful friend from Italy: Ad Angela, grazie per la tua amicizia e per il support al mio lavoro. E stato un onore conoscere te e la tua bella famiglia. Un ricordo che conservero sempre. Ti am oil mio amico.

  Thank you: Sarah Hansen of Okay Creations. Once again you designed an amazing cover for me. They are proudly lining the walls of my home.