A Catamount Christmas, Paranormal Romance (Catamount Lion Shifters Book 5)

by J. H. Croix

  Max was happy for any moment Roxanne gave him, so he followed her down the hall into the deli kitchen. She gestured to a stool near a stainless steel table in the center of the kitchen where she was clearly mid-project with flour, bowls of dough and other items scattered around the table. “Have a seat. Want something to drink?”

  At her question, he realized he was seriously thirsty, likely due to his hours long run through the mountains in lion form. When he nodded, she pointed to the massive refrigerator on the far wall. “Go see what you can find. Just like before, we have all kinds of juices. I turned off the soda machine though, so you’ll have to make do with something else if that’s what you wanted.”

  He strode to the refrigerator and snagged a bottle of cranberry apple juice. As he turned back, a wave of emotion rocked him. This moment was like so many they’d shared before. With a mental shake, he made it to the stool and slid onto it, facing her where she was rolling pastry dough and cutting shapes. He watched her quietly while she added spinach and feta filling to an entire tray of perfectly cut triangles and folded them together. Before she asked, he reached for the tray and carried it over to a refrigerator that held racks for trays. He’d done this for her many times before. When he returned to his seat, she was standing stock still at the table. She glanced over at him, her eyes bright with what he thought were tears.

  He started to move around the table, and she waved him away. “No, no.” She paused and swiped her sleeve across her face. “This is… I don’t know. It’s so weird to have you here like this. It’s like you were never gone. Except you were and now I don’t know what to do.”

  He again started to move toward her, but she swatted her hand in the air. “No! Don’t come over here and hug me because that’ll just make it worse.”

  He had to physically force himself to pause. It hurt to have her push him away, but pushing back wouldn’t help. With a deep breath, he eased his hips back onto the stool and watched her carefully, calling upon more restraint than he’d known he had to keep from going to her. She started rolling dough again, this time cutting small circles into it. After several quiet moments, she spoke again. “How do you know this isn’t just wishing the past were the present? I mean, even if things hadn’t ended the way they did, we don’t even know if we’d have stayed together. Maybe we’re all stirred up just because of how things ended. How do you know if what you feel is real?” She didn’t look up and kept steadily rolling the dough and cutting it into circles.

  “Because I just know. It’s not like I went away and forgot about you. I never stopped missing you. Are you afraid it’s not real for you?”

  She glanced up and rolled her eyes, eliciting a smile from him. He’d always loved her tendency to laugh her way through things. “I guess I am, or I wouldn’t be asking.”

  He waited to see if she would say something else before speaking again. “Roxy, all I can go on is how I feel. There isn’t even a tiny part of me that doubts how I feel about you. I loved you back then, and I love you now. I get that you need time, and I’ll wait.”

  The rolling pin ceased its rhythmic motion, and she set it aside to carefully place the circles of pastry dough on another tray. “Yeah, but how do you know what will happen? What if you find out I’m not as great as you think? What if…”

  He couldn’t help himself and cut in. “If I were you, I’d have plenty of doubts. I can’t answer all the what-ifs for you, and I don’t blame you for them. I left you once. Even if I was young and even if it was a mess because of everything else going on, it happened. All I want is a chance to show you I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”

  She was quiet as she leaned over to place small spoonfuls of a different filling on the pastry circles. A loose lock of hair fell forward and she brushed it away with her wrist. Without thinking, he reached over and tucked it behind her ear. Her breath drew in sharply. She paused in her work for a moment and then continued. He let his hand fall away and took a long swallow of juice.

  When she began to pinch the dough together, she spoke again. “See, it’s the little things like that. It makes me crazy.”

  “What makes you crazy?” he asked, drawing on his patience. He wanted to barrel through her resistance, but he knew it might ruin the only chance he had with her.

  “It’s like you never left. You used to keep me company all the time like this when I was working here after school and at night.” Her eyes brightened again and a tear rolled down her cheek. “You tell me you love me like I’m supposed to just believe it’s all gonna be okay. What if something happens and you leave again? I can’t deal with it. I feel crazy because this so isn’t me. You haven’t known me for fifteen years. I’m not a foolish seventeen-year old girl anymore. I’ve run this place on my own for years. I’m independent as hell, and I never expected to worry about this kind of drama again. It’s messy. I don’t like it,” she declared, dragging her sleeve across her face and leaving a streak of flour on her cheek.

  Damn, she was glorious. Even though he should be worried about her resistance, her spirit and will only served to make him want her more. He watched her and tried to gather his thoughts. “Roxy, all I can do is tell you I’m not going anywhere. There’s nothing that could make me leave. Even if Wallace were still the unofficial king of Catamount, I wouldn’t leave. I’m here, and I’ll wait as long as I have to.”

  She took a deep breath and let it out in an elaborate sigh. “It would help if you felt as crazy as I do inside,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

  “You think I don’t feel crazy?” He stepped off the stool and strode around the table to her. “Not a day has passed when I didn’t think about you. I’ve known for years I blew it and hurt you. It doesn’t really matter all the reasons behind it, it was what it was. I’m half out of my mind for you, and I’m doing everything I can not to tackle you every time I see you.”

  He reached her side and spun her to face him, grabbing her hand and placing it over his throbbing hard cock. “I’m crazy inside and out,” he nearly growled. “I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone and it’s way worse than it was before. Trust me, I feel crazy because I can’t just throw you over my shoulder and cart you off every time I see you. Intellectually, I get that you need time and I need to let you have it, but it makes me crazy.”

  He stood there before her, his heart banging against his ribs and his cock so hard it bordered on painful. She hadn’t taken her hand away, which only made it worse. Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him. Slowly, the corner of her mouth lifted in a grin. “Okay, so maybe we’re in this madness together.” She gave a gentle squeeze before pulling her hand away. At that, she returned to her pastry preparations.

  9

  Roxanne leaned over and snagged the bottle of wine sitting in the middle of the table in Phoebe’s kitchen. She quickly filled her glass and glanced to Chloe Ashworth who sat beside her. “Need some?”

  Chloe held her glass up. “Thank you,” she said with a grin, her green eyes crinkling at the corners.

  Chloe was married to Dane Ashworth and had quickly blended into their small social circle. With Shana being Dane’s sister, Roxanne considered it a lucky plus that Chloe fit in so well. The Ashworth’s were another of the founding shifter families. Along with Roxanne’s family and the North’s, the Peyton’s had been the only family of the four that held themselves apart. Roxanne glanced around the table at her friends. Phoebe was busy at the counter. She’d married Jake North and they’d all breathed a sigh of relief because those two had been half in love forever. Jake’s sister Lily was seated across the table from Roxanne, busy nibbling on tortilla chips while Shana regaled her with the latest mishap at the hospital, which involved a cat somehow finding its way into the laundry room there.

  “Seriously, you should’ve seen this cat. For four days straight, he kept finding his way inside and napping in the clean laundry. They still don’t know how he got in. We finally named him Laundry, and Rosie took him home with her,”
Shana said with a laugh.

  Lily grinned and reached for her wineglass, her eyes immediately glancing around when she noticed her glass was empty.

  “Looking for this?” Roxanne said, holding the bottle aloft.

  Lily nodded, her golden brown hair swinging about her shoulders. “Definitely.”

  Roxanne passed the bottle of wine across the table. Conversation carried on around her as her mind spun to thoughts of Max, wondering if perhaps her life might turn out differently than she’d envisioned. In the last few years, all of her closest friends had found love. Chloe had ended up staying in Catamount after hiking her way here on the Appalachian Trail and falling head over heels in love with Dane. Phoebe and Jake had finally admitted they were meant for each other. Lily had stopped playing the shy computer geek and let Noah Jasper sweep her off her feet. Even Shana had moved on from the tragic betrayal and subsequent death of Callen Peyton, her first husband and the shifter who brought the smuggling ring to Catamount. During the investigation of the smuggling network, Shana had bolted to Montana on her own and encountered Hayden Thorne, a powerful shifter from Montana who ultimately followed her back to Catamount.

  In the years after Max left, Roxanne had tried dating here and there. Every attempt had been underwhelming. Eventually, she’d decided she was better off simply enjoying her independence. Her store was a central gathering place in town, and she was proud of her role in Catamount—she was carrying on her family’s legacy. She had amazing friends and a fulfilling life. Even while watching one friend after another find their happily-ever-after, she hadn’t longed for anything like that for herself. Until Max walked back into town. Damn him. He had a hold on her like no one ever had. She’d thought she was over him for once and for all. Her thoughts rolled back to last night in the deli kitchen when he grabbed her hand and placed it over his cock. Holy hell. Just thinking about it sent a wash of heat through her. Her channel clenched and she shifted her legs, crossing and uncrossing them.

  Phoebe turned away from the counter with a platter of appetizers in her hand. “Coming through,” she commented to the table at large. Lily scooted her chair over to make room between her and Shana. Phoebe slid the platter on the table and turned to grab a small stack of plates on the corner of the counter. “Here we go. Eat up,” she said with a smile as she slid into the chair between Shana and Lily.

  For a few moments, conversation paused while they filled their plates with Phoebe’s goodies. She was a phenomenal cook, so whenever it was her turn to host their dinners, everyone loved it. Their group of friends had dinners together weekly. Roxanne took a bite of a fluffy pastry and sighed. After she finished chewing, she looked over at Phoebe. “Oh my. These are sooo good. What’s in the filling?”

  Phoebe grinned, her dark eyes lighting up. “It’s an artichoke filling with cream cheese and tarragon. You should try it at the store.”

  “I just might.”

  While they ate, they chatted casually. They’d all been relieved after the smuggling network had been shut down because their get-togethers could feature something other than that as a topic. Chloe was regaling them with Dane Jr.’s latest mishap. “I swear, it’s a miracle he hasn’t broken any bones yet. He tried to climb the banister. Fortunately, he fell off right away, but you know how high that old railing is!”

  Shana chuckled. “I think I’m relieved we have a little girl. Sophie’s not nearly as wild as he is.”

  Chloe shrugged. “He’s wild, but I love him to pieces. Besides, if you have other kids, you just might end up with your own wild boy.”

  Roxanne’s heart gave a hard thump. She’d let go of any dreams about a family of her own years ago and happily played the favorite auntie to her friends’ children. With Max back in Catamount and insisting he loved her, old dreams were rising from the ashes. At thirty-two years old, the wheel of her life was spinning in another direction, and she didn’t know what it held in store for her. Someone said her name, knocking her out of her odd reverie.

  “Huh?” she asked, her eyes scanning the table.

  “Who’s Max?” Chloe asked, brushing her honey blonde hair behind her shoulders.

  Roxanne almost jumped in her seat. She was that hypersensitive to his name. Chloe was the only friend here who hadn’t been in high school with them. The rest knew who Max was and what he’d meant to Roxanne. She flushed and mentally gave herself a shake. You can’t be this ridiculous over him. Max is here to stay, or so he says, and you’d better get used to people asking you about him. She took a breath and glanced to Chloe.

  “He’s, uh, an old friend who just moved back to Catamount,” she finally replied.

  Chloe looked slightly puzzled. “Why’s everyone keep asking me about you and him then? It doesn’t sound like a big deal.”

  Roxanne flushed deeper and glanced around the table. Lily caught her eyes, her blue eyes warm and understanding. Shana appeared preoccupied with the stem on her wineglass, while Phoebe’s knowing, dark gaze held Roxanne’s. Phoebe had a bold personality and wasn’t one to shy away from anything. Her eyes softened as she looked at Roxanne. She glanced to Chloe. “Old friend is one way to describe Max Stone. If you’re wondering why people are asking about him and Roxanne, it’s because they were madly in love in high school. We all thought they’d be together forever and then Max’s mother moved away after his father died. Max broke up with Roxanne and that was that. Now, he’s back in town.” She glanced back to Roxanne. “Figured I’d save you the trouble of explaining.”

  Roxanne took a gulp of wine. “No problem. It is what it is.” She turned to Chloe. “That’s who Max is. I never expected to see him again, so the whole thing’s kind of weird.”

  Chloe nodded slowly. “I didn’t mean to bring up a sensitive subject.”

  Roxanne shrugged. “It’s okay. Max is here and says he’s here to stay, so I’d better get used to it.”

  “Is this one of those things where you’d rather not see him?” Chloe asked.

  Roxanne almost burst out laughing. She was so desperate to see Max that it was making her mad inside. Ever since he’d left last night, she must’ve replayed that moment in the kitchen a few hundred times. The feel of his arousal under her palm had been so intoxicating. She wanted him so much it almost physically pained her. She forced her mind off another replay and met Chloe’s eyes. “That’s the problem. Half of me wishes he’d never showed up here again. The other half wishes he’d never left.”

  Chloe’s eyes widened. “Oh. So it’s like that then?”

  Roxanne rolled her eyes and took another gulp of wine. “Yup. It’s like that then.”

  Lily caught Roxanne’s eyes. “I meant to tell you I ran into Max today.”

  “Oh yeah? Where?”

  “At the police station. I was there to work on their server. It sounds like maybe you’re not so sure what you want, but Max is pretty clear about what he wants.”

  Roxanne’s stomach fluttered and her heart clenched. “Good grief, what did he say to you?”

  Lily smiled softly. “Well, he was in love with you back in the day, but he was friends with the rest of us too. He said hi and all that, and then he told me he came back because he hoped he’d have a chance with you.” She paused, her eyes scanning Roxanne’s face. “If you ask me, he’s dead serious. I know it was awful after he left, but I hope you don’t let that get in your way.”

  Roxanne almost burst into tears. Leave it to Lily, the reserved, brainy computer programmer, to cut right through to the quick. When she saw the look on Roxanne’s face, she leaned over and slipped her arm over Roxanne’s shoulders, giving her a quick squeeze. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Roxanne shrugged and gulped in air. “It’s okay. Phoebe’s already heard me babble over Max. It’s all so out of the blue. I just need some time. He’s so positive he loves me, but I don’t know if it’s just old memories or not.”

  Lily leaned back in her chair and nodded solemnly. Phoebe piped up. “You don’t have to rush things, bu
t don’t be stupid like I almost was.”

  “What do you mean?” Roxanne asked.

  “You know how I was about Jake. I almost didn’t let myself believe we could work out. I get why you’d be cautious about Max, but don’t be stubborn.”

  Shana grinned. “Roxanne was born stubborn.”

  Roxanne glared at her. “Hey, I haven’t run him out of town yet, so obviously I’m not that bad.”

  “Exactly. That’s why I figure you’ll sort it out for yourself,” Phoebe said firmly.

  Hours later, Roxanne walked along the street, the holiday lights in town lighting her way home. She was relieved she hadn’t driven to Phoebe’s for dinner because she was slightly tipsy from the wine. Chloe had offered to drive her all the way home, but Roxanne wanted some fresh air, so she’d insisted Chloe drop her off at the edge of town. The air was hovering just above freezing. Roxanne wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed soon. She turned into one of the paths leading into the town green, walking toward the town’s Christmas tree. The lights glittered brightly in the darkness. She reached the tree and came to a stop, lifting her gaze to the sky. She recalled Christmas the year before Max left. He’d gotten her a gift and hidden it under this very tree. She didn’t even remember what the gift was, but she remembered him dragging her out here to present it to her. It had been snowing on Christmas Eve. By the time they made it back inside, they were covered in snow and laughing. Her heart squeezed and emotion washed through her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the bracing air.

  At the sound of footsteps approaching, she opened her eyes and glanced over her shoulder. As if conjured by her thoughts, Max was walking toward her, his hands tucked in the pockets of his denim jacket. She was becoming accustomed to the effect he had on her. Her pulse rocketed and heat slid through her veins. Her cat nearly purred at the sight of him with his confident stride and the energy he emanated. He stopped in front of her, and her breath caught. “Thought I saw you walking down the street,” he said, his voice low.