by Pamela Ann
Numb, spaced-out, and in ecstasy, his words pierced into me as they repeated like a broken record while he fucked me to his own contentment and enjoyment.
You’re going to be just as fucked up as I am. You’re going to want me. You’re going to need me. I could give you this beautiful world, baby… One day, you’re going to love it, and then you will be with me. Forever.
If his plan was to fuck me inside out, keep me this way forever, would I ever find my way home?
Chapter 6
“Wake up. We’re going for a little drive.” Doug slapped my ass, making me snap my eyes open.
I moaned in pain from the ruthless, banging headache that throbbed in my head. Not to mention how parched I was. “Water,” I croaked, trying to catch his attention.
He was on his phone, however he glanced over at me before he nodded and exited the door, hopefully fetching me something to drink. He came back with a glass of water, sitting on the side of the bed, bringing the glass to my lips where I started sipping slowly on it. Swallowing the water with my throat dry as the Sahara Desert, hurt. Finishing the entire glass, I didn’t meet his eyes until he wiped my lips with his thumb and then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Good morning, baby.”
“Good morning,” I answered back, feeling confused for a second.
My anger, though I knew it was there somewhere, didn’t surface for some reason. Then I remembered he’d injected me with something last night. How long would it take for that thing to wear off? I hated not being myself.
“You drugged me,” I stated matter-of-factly.
He shrugged, as if it was nothing. “Had to. One day, you’ll understand why I have to hurt you. It’s for us, for our future.”
I stared at him, appalled and stunned at his confession. He really meant it. Even though I knew what he intended to do, it still shocked me how he could do this to me. Last night had proved how determined he was to accomplish his end goal. And since he woke up in a good mood, I didn’t want to provoke him again, so I didn’t say anything about his admission.
The thought of him injecting me with drugs left me shaken, though. I didn’t want to be under this clouded blanket; it was as if it had woven a spell. A spell that gave Doug the power to infiltrate my thoughts, sending me into a chaotic limbo.
“Where are we going?” I managed to ask as he picked up my hand, kissing it like he was my lover, not the polar opposite of that.
“For some business, and I want to introduce you to some good friends of mine.” He kept on kissing my hand. “I spoke about you for a while, so they want to meet the woman of my dreams.”
My stomach curled, hating every word he was telling me, loathing him endlessly. I was the girl of his dreams? Come the fuck on.
Numbing myself, I tried not to show panic. If worse comes to worst, I could always count on Logan to help me out, right? He’d said I could tell him anything. The thought of Logan and the napkin he had given me with his phone number brought my weary, foggy brain in gear. Where had I put it? It was still in my shorts… that were in the laundry basket.
“I have to shower.”
He lowered his head to meet my lips, kissing me. “I’ll wait outside.”
I nodded, despising him more and more each second that ticked by.
“I love you, Ana,” he murmured against my cheek before leaving me in peace, temporarily.
Sliding off the bed, I walked out of his bedroom, going over to mine. My gaze landed on the lock on the doorknob, wanting to do it, yet I knew he’d just break the door down and punish me again. I couldn’t risk another punishment. His methods were cruel; I could feel it working on me mentally, emotionally, and physically.
It was as if he wanted to break me apart, piece by piece, until I was no longer my own person. He wanted to conquer me, subsequently for him to accomplish that, he had to start from deep within, breaking my spirit down, poisoning everything I’d once believed in, and only then could he have me.
Striding inside the bathroom, I crouched down to the laundry basket, rummaging through soiled clothes while my ear paid attention to any sound coming from outside the door. The last thing I needed was for Doug to barge in here and see Logan Green’s number on a napkin.
I could burst into tears when I finally found my discarded shorts that had the folded napkin, but no tears came. I neatly folded it before nestling it all the way to the bottom of my panty liner container, looking like nothing was amiss. Putting the box back underneath the sink, I gently closed it and then walked towards the shower and started the water.
Wondering where Doug was taking me, I prayed it was going to be okay, that nothing dangerous was going to happen to me. The ominous feeling that immediately responded to my thoughts, however, turned my blood cold.
+++
The “business” trip he’d mentioned was, in fact, a shady one. I knew it the second he parked his car an hour outside from Seattle at a cabin in the middle of nowhere and I was introduced to his “good friends.”
The cabin wasn’t all that big, but it did have four small bedrooms, which were only large enough for a queen mattress, one side table, and a dresser. I stood in the middle of the room, wondering what Doug had gotten himself into, while he strode towards the window, pulling the curtain closed, shutting out any light from entering. Without switching the lamp on, he sat on the bed, tapping the empty space next to him, asking me to sit. Begrudgingly, I did as he asked.
Questions bubbled out of my brain, yet I couldn’t bring myself to ask them. I was scared to flare his anger, especially since I didn’t know where we were. Not only that, but his friends didn’t look all that friendly, either. In fact, they didn’t have an ounce of a “friendly” look in them.
One guy named Hunter had smiled at me, but his smiled had only managed to make me scared, therefore I had stepped closer against Doug, which made him laugh, thinking out loud that I couldn’t get enough of him.
Hunter had nothing warm or happy about him. He looked serious. His glance was spine chilling, like a serial killer you saw in TV shows. He also had “demon” tattooed on the side of his neck.
My mother taught me not to judge people from their looks alone, however something about Hunter made me feel frightened. There were six men total, including Doug, and a woman with streaks of almost every hue from the color wheel in her hair introduced herself as Georgie. From the looks of it, she was included in their odd pack. So there were eight of us living in a small space. Hopefully, we were leaving tomorrow. Doug had said this was a quick trip.
Being trapped in a small cabin with seven people I didn’t care to be near was the least of my worries, though. No, what concerned me most was how I could start stealing money from his pocket without him noticing it. I needed to save as much as I could just in case Mom didn’t have insurance after all. I needed to make sure I’d survive without turning into a beggar the second I was out on the street, running away from Doug.
“How are you feeling?” Doug asked, taking my face in.
What did he see when he looked at me? Did he see fear? Anger? Hatred? Or did he see a young woman, who was trapped and could be easily taken advantage of? Did he see his victim?
“How do you want me to respond to that, Doug?” I was unsure what to tell him. Since last night’s incident, I knew I had to walk on eggshells with his temper. I didn’t want to provoke another episode.
“Tell me how you feel. I want to know what’s going on in here.” He tapped the side of my head, as if I would tell him what I truly was feeling.
“I’m having a hard time… adjusting…” I trailed off cautiously. Somehow, I had to nitpick his brain.
He smiled down at me before pushing both of our bodies down to the mattress, rolling me over and underneath his large frame. “You’ll get used to it. To me. You’ll get used to everything about me, and you won’t ever let me go.”
I was speechless. How do you respond to that kind of psychotic rambling? I was at a loss for words.
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This time, he didn’t even give me a warning as he maneuvered his body and roughly pulled my shorts down. Doug clasped his hand over my mouth as he took my body hard and fast, like he couldn’t wait to get to the finish line.
Just when he was about to come, someone knocked on our door before opening it without consent. It was Hunter. He looked over at us while Doug fucked me like it was nothing, like it wasn’t humiliating for me.
“We need you outside.”
Doug growled, “Let me nut—need a minute.”
Hunter licked his bottom lip before he nodded, staring holes into me. “Do what you gotta, man,” he said, giving me another look before he exited the bedroom.
Beyond red from embarrassment, I tensed when I felt Doug priming for his orgasm. Counting from one to ten, hoping he’d finish soon because I couldn’t, for the life of me, withstand this constant misuse of my body, I bit the side of my mouth, hoping it drew blood. It didn’t take him long to come, grunting and shivering against me while I fought the urge to hurl as he kissed my neck, whispering how happy I made him.
When he got off me, I curled to my side as I listened to him put his clothes back on. Wishing my tears would come, I pinched the insides of my palm, hoping the tears that hid inside of me would come out. I needed some relief, something to take a bit of my pain away. Each day, I was losing a part of myself.
Exhausted from last night and what had gone on that day, I closed my lids as I held a hand over my heart, hoping it would stop beating the second I shut off to the world in slumber.
Chapter 7
It was an unfortunate thing to wake up first thing in the morning feeling disappointed that you were given another day to live. Death, after what had happened to my father and then my mother, never fully left me.
It always made me wonder what it would be like, those last precious minutes where you took your last breath, your last memories. Would one ever be ready to die? If someone asked me in that moment if I was, I wouldn’t have even hesitated to tell them I would gladly volunteer to die.
Looking at my life, there was nothing to hold on to. No loved one left to hang on to. All I had was this gloomy loneliness that hung on the horizon. If I couldn’t escape Doug, was I brave enough to take my own life? And if I did manage to do so, would I ever be reunited with my parents? The only people who had ever cared for and loved me. Without them, I felt empty, soulless… lifeless.
I was an empty shell, trying to find life, trying to find a purpose to survive; the will to keep moving forward each day. Each corner I took, however, evil always captured me in the form of Doug.
Speaking of which, I was surprised not to find him next to me. Where was the evil incarnate hiding? Did he ever come back after Hunter asked him to go outside?
Dragging my feet, I showered, barely feeling the water pouring over me. The numbing inside me magnified. It felt like a hard rock had taken up residence inside my chest. My heart still beat, and yet, the rest of my body felt dead. I barely paid attention to my body—Doug’s instrument for pleasure and pain—as I washed with soap.
As the days dragged on, would I be able to keep my sanity? Days back, I was feeling optimistic, but seeing how things were unfolding, I had started to think this horrendous circus had just begun.
Letting my wet hair stay free, I changed into another pair of shorts and a loose shirt before walking out of the bedroom. Striding towards the kitchen, I noticed not one soul was there. I was glad the place was empty. No sound of the men from the looks of it. I supposed they all had left to go somewhere.
Getting a Styrofoam cup from the cupboard, I noticed the utensils and plates were all plastic.
“Need any help, Ana?”
I jumped out of my skin, spinning around to face Georgie. Where had she come from? I hadn’t heard any footsteps. Coming down from my shock, I placed a hand over my chest, shaking my head to decline her offer. “I’m okay. I just need water.”
She remained quiet, watching me fetch the water and slowly drink it all. I could feel her gaze studying my every move. Not only was it uncomfortable to have a stranger scrutinize me this way, but something about her didn’t sit right with me, either. Behind her sickly sweet smile lay a conniving bitch. If she felt threatened about me hanging out with her odd assortment of men, she shouldn’t. She could have all of them. I hadn’t wanted to be there to begin with.
After finishing my cup, I disposed of it in the white, plastic garbage bin on the side of the sink before I finally met her gaze. “Do you need something?” I asked, swallowing the heavy lump in my throat.
“Hunter told me he walked in on Doug fucking the pussy out of you.” She smirked, blowing up her bubble gum before bursting it with a loud pop.
I tensed, not sure how to respond to her. Did Hunter also notice how Doug had clasped a hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t dare scream?
Her pale blue eyes reminded me of a beautiful Persian cat’s, so did her personality.
“He also mentioned how your tits were nice.”
What is she getting at anyway? I was starting to wonder, but my thoughts stopped when she strutted towards me in her short sundress, halting only when her eyes were inches away from mine. From this view, her eyes looked intimidating, like they held something dark within.
“Stay away from Hunter—he’s mine. Touch him once, and I will make you regret it,” she threatened me before reaching out to painfully squeeze one of my breasts. “I’ll cut one of these—”
I pushed her off with all my might as I kneed her lower body. She shrieked in pain as I braced my chest, heaving like a mad woman.
“Don’t you fucking dare threaten me!” I yelled at her. “If you’re insecure, that’s not my problem. I don’t have any desires to ‘touch’ Hunter, he’s not any man. I just want out—out of this stupid life!”
Georgie stared at me like I had lost my mind. Growling with hate as I stomped past her, I walked towards the bedroom.
Of all the bad things that were happening to me, when you added a crazy, jealous bitch to the mix, I was just about to lose my shit. I was barely figuring out what to do next; Georgie’s threats were the least of my problems. Besides, I didn’t want Hunter. Not only did I not find him attractive, but the guy simply gave me the creeps.
With nothing else to do, I stayed in bed, wondering when Doug was going to return.
+++
He didn’t come back until mid-afternoon, looking worse for wear. From the noises outside, it seemed they all had come back together.
“Where have you been?” I murmured, trying hard to control my voice when all I wanted to do was scream in his face, demand that he take me back to Seattle, and leave me forever.
“The drop-off got delayed. I was supposed to be back earlier than this.” He scratched the back of his head as he took off his shirt.
He seemed unfocused, furthering my irritation as I watched him from the bed. “Drop off what? What the fuck is going on, Doug?” Was he dealing drugs? I was going to ask more questions when he grumbled something before walking out of the bedroom. Minutes later, he came back with an injection, alarming me.
“Please, don’t do that!” I begged, remembering how I had felt like a damn vegetable when he had done it the last time.
“Shut the fuck up!” He stormed towards me, pulling the back of my hair as he shoved me, face down on the mattress.
My wails got muffled from the foam and pillows. As much as I attempted to hide my arms from him, he was still able to catch one, locking it against my back as he pressed his knee against it. His dirty fingers probed the vein he had used the last time.
I whimpered in agony when I felt the stinging pain of the needle piercing my skin, and before long, I felt the drug being ejected into my bloodstream, tainting me once more.
Doug heaved as he tapped my arm after he pulled the needle out. “You need to learn that, after a long night’s work, you need to shut the fuck up.”
I felt like I was floating. The numbing hardness in my ch
est felt non-existent. I felt light, like I had no worries. All I could do was feel this sudden jolt of a sense of ease.
“I gave you a higher dosage this time,” I heard him say.
Closing my eyes, I just wanted to keep this feeling. Savor it until I died. I felt free from all the shackles that held me down, keeping me captive until I drowned from misery.
I felt him roll me over onto my back then he pushed my shirt upwards and pulling the cups of my bra to the sides to release my breasts. I felt his hot breath on my left nipple before he captured it with his tongue and then his lips suckled it.
“I love it when you let me do these things to you, Ana,” he groaned as he reached downwards, unclasping the button of my shorts before he unzipped them. Pushing my shorts down along with my underwear, I then felt his finger part my pussy, playing with it as he moaned against my breast.
I could feel him manipulate my body. I should care, too—I really should—but the drug inside me told me it was okay. That I was fine. That I shouldn’t worry about anything. That everything was going to be okay. As a result, I kept in my dreamland, wanting to savor the feeling of being high.
Everything became a blur. Even the sounds I was hearing were intensified. When my legs were parted, I knew it wouldn’t take long for him to delve inside me, fucking me like a jackhammer the way he had done last time.
As I had guessed, Doug did fuck me that way. It took him less than two minutes to nut. Keeping me drugged up seemed to arouse him more, and he didn’t last long. He was just getting off me when I heard a knock on the door. When it creaked open, I didn’t care so much to cover my body as much. I was too tired to move anyway.
