Boys South of the Mason Dixon ~ Abbi Glines

by Abbi Glines

  Just as I was walking out the door, she called my name. She’d waited until the other two were gone. “Keep an eye on him. He ain’t right just yet.”

  I knew who she meant, so I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I will.”

  Dixie Monroe

  THE CLOCK ON the wall finally said it was lunch time. At noon, the salon closed for an hour. Everyone was free to spend their break as they pleased. The other employees usually used the tanning beds during this time or styled each other’s hair. I occasionally got a wash and cut, but most of the time, I just read a book and ate a sandwich.

  Today, however, I had other plans. I had decided the front desk needed a little sprucing up. A nice pot of flowers would do and I knew just where to get them. This was not what Asher and I had agreed on last night, but I wanted to see him. Maybe say hello. It wasn’t like I was taking him lunch and making a scene for the town to talk about.

  I called out to let them know I was leaving for my break and then headed out the door, making sure I flipped the sign on the door before I locked it up. This was the only salon in Malroy and it always closed for lunch. Customers expected it. But we still turned that sign around in case anyone forgot.

  For the first time in three years, I had opened my eyes that morning and a smile had spread across my face. A real one. It was so big, it had hurt my cheeks and I’d loved every second of it. That feeling of joy, excitement, hope were all new to me now. It was a wonder I’d even gone to sleep last night. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better night if I’d tried. When I’d been younger, I had imagined something like that daily. But over time it began to hurt too much to even think about it, so I’d forced myself to think of other things just to stop the pain and tears as I closed my eyes at night.

  Those tears were a part of the person I’d become now, but I wouldn’t miss them or the hollowness inside my chest. Asher hadn’t promised me anything, but what he’d said was all I needed to hear for now. He loved me. He wanted to meet me there again tonight. And then again the next night.

  I hurried down the street. Denver’s Feed and Seed was only half a mile from the salon and walking there was faster than driving because there were three stop lights between the two stores.

  The wooden furniture that I was sure everyone in this town owned in some shape or form in their backyard and on their porches, was displayed out front. Bright yellow sunflowers decorated the space and I had to admit even I wanted to go sit down and enjoy some lemonade. It was very welcoming. I wondered if Asher had unloaded all that. Probably had. That just made me smile even more. I didn’t care at all about how goofy I must’ve looked grinning all alone while walking down the sidewalk.

  Turning onto the gravel parking lot, I scanned the flowers on display for something affordable since I was buying these out of my own pocket. As I looked, my eyes also searched around for any signs of Asher. I didn’t want to be obvious, but I knew he’d know immediately why I was here.

  I made my way to the side of the building where the store’s entrance was. Just as I stepped into the shade of the overhang, I heard a female voice that made me stop in my tracks.

  “Time to eat, Asher. I got you the roast beef with that dark sauce you like to dip it in. I ate a few of your fries, though.” The voice belonged to Hannah and it was flirty. It also appeared to be very familiar with what Asher liked. I didn’t know if I should continue walking in their direction.

  “Did you get me a sweet tea?” he asked and I saw him then walking in from the back. His sleeveless undershirt was dirty and clung to his sweaty skin. He was wearing his cowboy hat and it shaded his eyes. I couldn’t see his face, but his tone was friendly. And he seemed pleased.

  “Of course. Oh, hi, Dixie, can I help you with something?” Hannah asked and I shifted my focus to her. She was giving me a fake smile. It was too bright and it didn’t meet her eyes.

  “I, uh, no, I’m just, I,” I stopped stuttering and pointed to a wall of hoes and shovels, then hurried toward them.

  “Dixie,” Asher’s voice called after me. I was not turning around. She’d caught me off guard. I hadn’t been prepared to speak yet. Not as I was still processing what I had witnessed.

  Maybe they were just friends. He said before they were friends and I believed him. But the way she had talked to him, the tone in her voice . . . it said something else.

  “Dixie, wait,” he was closing in on me. I could start running, but then I’d look ridiculous and draw even more attention to myself. That would, of course, make Asher and I the topic of everyone’s dinner conversation tonight. Including my own family’s. Wincing, I stopped walking and just waited on him to reach me.

  His fingers wrapped around my upper arm and I let him turn me around. “Why did you walk off?” He looked completely confused.

  “I don’t know,” I lied. I knew I was overreacting.

  He frowned and looked around. “Come out back to my truck.”

  I felt eyes on me. I was almost positive they belonged to Hannah, but I didn’t check. I didn’t care. I only cared about being alone with Asher.

  “Okay,” I acquiesced and let him lead me to the back. Once we were around the storage bins, his truck came into view. When we were on the far side of the truck, hidden from view, he backed me up against it and placed his hands on either side of me. His palms sat flat on the door behind me. “Tell me what just happened.”

  Sighing, I closed my eyes because this was embarrassing. “I came to get flowers for the salon in hopes of seeing you. Then I heard you and Hannah talking. Y’all were friendly. She was being flirty with you.”

  Asher put a finger under my chin and tilted my head back. “Open your eyes, Dix,” he sounded amused. I slowly opened them and then blinked against the sun.

  “Hannah is my friend. We work together.”

  I nodded.

  He just smirked and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I like you jealous. I have to admit it.”

  “I don’t,” I pouted.

  He laughed, but then dropped his hands from the truck behind me and stood back up straight. “I’ve got to eat lunch, you’ve got to get flowers, and if I stay back here with you any longer, I’ll start kissing you the way I want to. We can’t do that just yet. Not in public.”

  Because of Steel.

  “Okay,” I replied, wishing things were different. But I understood.

  “Come on,” he said with a gentle tug of my hand, walking us back around the truck. I wasn’t embarrassed anymore, so when my eyes found Hannah looking at us, I smiled. I didn’t care what she thought of me. I had acted silly and if she wanted to think I was nuts, I couldn’t blame her.

  “I’d share half my sandwich with you if it wouldn’t make people talk,” he said.

  “I’ll eat back at the salon.”

  “I won’t enjoy my lunch company. I promise.”

  I laughed at that. He quickly squeezed my hand, then moved away.

  It wasn’t until I lifted my eyes to start looking for flowers that I saw him. Steel. He was standing just outside his truck watching us. His angry glare caused my breath to hitch, making Asher follow my gaze. He tensed and immediately put distance between us.

  “Come on, you. Time to eat. Thanks for helping Dixie with that. I had no idea where to find it,” Hannah said brightly as she walked in between us and wrapped her arms around Asher’s arm.

  “Wha—” Asher started to say, but then nodded. “Yeah. No problem.”

  Hannah was saving him from Steel. I understood that, but it still didn’t feel good to see her cuddling up against him. “Oh, hey, Steel!” she called out waving and walking Asher away from me. She glanced back at me. “Just take what you need to the front. Nora will check you out. We’re taking our lunch now.” There was a challenge in her gaze as she looked at me. Then she gave me a slow smile, went up on her toes and pressed a kiss to Asher’s face. “He’s just the sweetest.”

  I waited to see him push her away. To tell her to stop. To question why she thought she could do that. Bu
t he did none of those things. He let her continue to cling to him. I didn’t want to watch anymore. My stomach felt sick as I walked away, back toward the street. Away from Steel, away from Asher, and away from Hannah. I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I had pretended for years. Pretended that I was okay. That I wasn’t hurting every single day. That I wasn’t lost. I was done with it all.

  Last night, I’d allowed myself to hope that maybe sometime soon, Asher would want to fight for me, too. That after the sex, he’d want more. He’d want back what we had taken from us. But what I’d just witnessed hadn’t been fighting. That had been acting. That had been just one more lie to add to the growing pile between us all.

  Asher Sutton

  “THAT FUCKING QUICK?” Steel asked as he continued glaring at me like he hated the sight of me. I wanted to see if Dixie was gone, but I knew not to look in her direction. Steel would go crazy and I didn’t want him doing that here.

  “Not what you think it is,” I told him.

  “She just came by needing help with some flowers for the salon. I had Asher show her the newest stock out back that we haven’t displayed yet. That’s all, Steel,” Hannah offered cheerfully. She was a good actress, her easy-going tone convincing and confident, and the way she stayed attached to my arm suggested that something was happening between us.

  Steel looked at Hannah, then back to me. “You fucking her?” he asked. I wasn’t sure if he meant Hannah or Dixie.

  “Steel,” I started to correct him, because Mr. Horn, the nearly eighty-years-old pastor at the Baptist church, had just heard him cuss while he shopped for gardening gloves for his wife. But Hannah interrupted me.

  “Our sex life isn’t your business, Steel. Never will be, either.”

  Hannah and I would never have a sex life. I didn’t correct her, though. I’d do that later after Steel had left. If this was just a grand act to appease him, then I was thankful for it. Bit if she thought it was the beginning of anything more between us, I needed to clarify to her that it wasn’t.

  He continued to study us.

  “You been home? Momma is worried.”

  He shrugged “She’s pissed as hell. Not worried.”

  “That, too,” I agreed.

  More silence filled the space between us.

  “She only loved you. Never loved me,” he said before walking away. He sounded defeated. I wanted to tell him that he meant something to her. That he’d been important to her. Instead, I just let him go, hating myself for putting that pain in his eyes.

  “She’s really messed with his head,” Hannah said in a whisper.

  If the past wasn’t what it was, if things hadn’t happened the way they did, if a lie hadn’t kept us apart, I’d agree with her. But Dixie was as much a victim as he was. We all were.

  “She never meant to,” I told her.

  “You sure?” Hannah asked.

  I moved away from her and was tempted to just walk back to my truck and drive off, away from the questions. Back to the lake where nothing mattered but me and Dixie. But I couldn’t do that.

  “There is more to the story than you know.”

  She frowned. “Then tell me.”

  “It’s not something I can share.” I replied and walked away from more questions. Hannah had helped me. I appreciated it. But that didn’t give her access to my personal life, past or present.

  I forgot about lunch and went to hauling the ten-pound bags of fertilizer from the trailer to the display area. The heat and sweat quickly replaced my thoughts of Dixie and Steel.

  It was ten minutes before quitting time when Hannah walked back to my truck. Her sunglasses were perched on the top of her head and her purse was slung over her shoulder. She was leaving.

  “You don’t realize what you’re missing being hung up on the past,” she said. It sounded like she’d been working on that line for hours.

  I pulled my work gloves off and then lifted my hat from my head to let the breeze hit my forehead, before I responded, “Until you know what Dixie and I have, don’t jump to conclusions, Hannah.”

  She thought about that for a moment. Hannah didn’t annoy me too much. I even liked her at times. But at this moment, I was ready to snap at her. Her tendency to judge without knowing all the facts was beginning to wear on my nerves.

  “You’ll crush Steel,” she said matter-of-factly.

  It was none of her business, but I had to defend Dixie. “He didn’t consider me when he decided to date her.”

  “But you broke up with her.”

  I was done having this conversation with Hannah. My patience had worn thin.

  “Again, you don’t know the whole story so please stay out of it. Now, excuse me, but it’s time for me to leave.”

  I didn’t give her time to shoot more questions my way or say anything else. I didn’t want to see her face again today. As much as she’d saved things earlier, she’d ruined it all by sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, trying to hurt the one I loved.

  While walking to my truck, Hannah called out to me, “I’m here when this blows up in your face.”

  I didn’t need or want her to be there. But I held my anger in check and just kept walking.

  When I was finally inside my truck and away from Hannah, I breathed a sigh of relief. Tonight, I would see Dixie again. We’d meet at the lake and she would be mine there. There would be no hiding. No secrets. Just us. I could get through anything knowing that was coming. Even a dinner with my brothers and a very pissed off Steel.

  He’d calm down eventually and see this was best for him. I knew I should just admit my feeling for Dixie and face the consequences, but I couldn’t. Not yet. He needed some time first.

  Dixie didn’t deserve to be anyone’s dirty little secret and not even protecting Steel justified her becoming one. I had to figure out what was best for everyone, but that would take some thought. For now, we had our lake. I had Dixie. And my thoughts were no longer just memories of better times that kept slicing me open.

  Dixie Monroe had always been meant to be mine. Our connection didn’t dwindle even when everything had been thrown at us to keep us apart. We’d have our future one day. I had to believe that.

  Dixie Monroe

  WHEN I WOKE up this morning, I’d had a romantic evening with Asher all planned out in my head, where I would be in his arms again and there would be no more pretending. No more half-truths. But like most things in my life, things didn’t go as planned. I’d come to the lake an hour early. To think. I needed to decide if I could do this. If I could possibly set myself up for a crushing end again.

  I wanted a storybook romance. One where we loved each other, put each other first, had no secrets between us. One where we were free to be ourselves. Everything we never had. Being together now filled us both with fear, guilt, regret, yet we wanted it so desperately, we were willing to pretend. For a few hours, we pretended we had everything, only to wake up to the deafening tick-tocks of a reality check.

  It had taken me so long to even find the will to live after I’d lost Asher. Just laughing again had required so much effort. I didn’t know whether I was willing to go through that again, or whether I even still loved him enough to take a chance on us.

  Did he love me enough to face his own family just to be with me?

  All this was running through my head when his truck pulled up nearby. I didn’t run to him like I used to do, eager to greet him and show him how much I was happy to see him. The urgency to be in his arms in moments like these wasn’t as strong because I no longer felt certain of his love. These doubts held me back, held my whole heart back.

  He parked, cut his lights, and walked over to sit down beside me. He didn’t speak at first. It was as if he was reading my thoughts, assessing them in his own mind, before acting. I let him do it. What happened at his work today had opened my eyes to what I might have to endure if we ever decided to continue this in any way.

  Hannah got to eat lunch with him, laugh with him, be with him in
public. All the things I couldn’t get. How long would it be before he got tired and wanted that too? How long would it be before he went looking for it elsewhere?

  “He just needs more time,” Asher finally broke the silence.

  “So until then, I have to let Hannah or Amber or Emily enjoy you in ways I can’t.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of truth. A painful fact.

  He turned to me. “No. Of course, not. I’m not with them. I never will be with any of them. It’s just you, Dix,” he pleaded.

  He didn’t get it. He thought moments like these where no one could see us would be enough for me. “Today, you were with Hannah. She got to spend time with you. She got to laugh with you. She got to eat lunch with you for the whole world to see. All things I can’t have.”

  His hand covered mine. “She means nothing to me. She’s just a friend. Heck, she’s even barely that. She’s a coworker. We don’t hang out after work. Today, she put up an act entirely for Steel’s sake.”

  “No, she acted to please you. To touch you. To make you like her. And to claim you in front of me.”

  I sounded jealous and crazy. I knew that. But I couldn’t stop the words spilling from my mouth. My heart was hurting inside my chest.

  “Dix, look at me,” he said as his finger slid under my chin and turned my face toward his. “It’s only you and it’s only ever been you. I told you that. I’ve told Hannah that. And after Steel’s had some time to adjust, I will tell him that, too.”

  “What if while I’m waiting, your feelings for me change? I’d have to move on again and it almost killed me last time, Asher. I’m not sure I have the strength to—”

  Asher lowered his lips to mine to silence them, pressing ever so gently. “It’s always been you, Dix. Just you. There is no way I could ever stop loving you. God knows I’ve tried.”

  I let him kiss me again. I let myself trust his lips, hear every silent promise they were making. I let myself forget that he hadn’t been fighting for me, that he had turned us into a dirty little secret just to protect his family. But I only allowed myself to forget for a brief moment. I knew it was time I protected myself against anyone who was not willing to put me first, regardless of how much I loved him.