Soul of the Pack
Page 9
Storm came creeping around the side of the couch.
“Caden,” Lena said pointing to Storm, “make him understand you won’t hurt him.”
Caden sighed, but amazingly, Ripp thought, did exactly as she was told. She knelt next to Storm and growled while Lena stroked him, and he visibly relaxed.
Lena now turned her attention to Ripp. “I didn’t believe it either at first. I fell in love with Caden before I knew their secret. I ran, stayed away because I didn’t want to believe it. I think if you search inside yourself, you’ll know it’s true. Just look at your tattoos. Have you always been more comfortable with wolves than people?”
Ripp’s head felt like it was going to explode, but Lena was right. Now she knew everything about herself and this county made sense, but she wanted to see it with her own eyes.
Ripp closed her eyes and nodded. “I thought there was something wrong with me, something broken. I—” Ripp couldn’t stop the tears from coming and got up and ran out of the front door, and Storm quickly followed.
* * *
Caden stormed to the fireplace and leaned on the mantel. “I can’t do this, Lena. Maybe it would be best if the Alpha and Mater took her in. I can’t deal with her problems.”
Lena came to her side. Caden immediately put her arm around her, and they both gazed into the flames. “Kyra says Ripp doesn’t open up about her past, but she does know that Ripp’s all alone in the world. All she has is Storm, a tent, and a beat-up truck. A young woman like her should have more than that.”
“We have a name for it, you know,” Caden said.
Lena put her arms around Caden’s middle. Caden always needed the reassurance of her touch when she felt emotional or confused. “A name for what?”
“A wolf hybrid, like Ripp. We call them soul wolves. Humans who have some wolf DNA in them, but who know nothing about the existence of werewolves, about what they are. Their soul cries out to be with their own kind, but they don’t understand it. Some find their way home to the pack, some don’t.”
Lena thanked God that their baby would have Caden to guide them through what would probably be a challenging childhood.
“What happens to the ones that find their way home?” Lena asked.
“They can stay in the pack as they are…” Caden hesitated.
“Or?”
“Or they can initiate the change, the transformation to become a full wolf.”
Lena turned quickly so she could look her mate in the eye. She had never thought their child would have that choice. She should have, but the happiness of their unexpected news blinded her to any worries.
“Will our baby have that choice?”
Caden nodded and caressed her cheek. “If they wish to.”
“You told me it was a dangerous process,” Lena said.
Caden cupped her face with two hands and looked right into her eyes. “It is, but I will be with them every step of the way.”
Lena’s thoughts went drifting back to Ripp. “Our baby will have you, Cade, but Ripp has no one.”
“I know. I’ll help Ripp, I promise, but her difficulties might be more severe than our child’s. Uncle Ansel had…problems.”
“Go and find Ripp for now. You can explain later,” Lena told her mate.
Chapter Eleven
Ripp wanted to run back to town, grab her truck, and leave this place, but if she did, she would be turning her back on her past, and Kyra. There had always been a part of her that was desperate for a family, a pack, to belong, and she’d covered it over with anger and resentment.
Then there was Kyra.
So she didn’t get any farther than the bench on Caden’s front porch. Ripp heard the door open and quickly wiped her tears on her T-shirt. She wasn’t going to show any of what she considered weakness to Caden.
As Caden stepped onto the porch, Storm ran in the house to Lena. He was clearly not enjoying the tension surrounding her just now.
“Ripp, I know this is hard to hear—”
Ripp jumped up and went nose to nose with Caden. “Do you? Do you know how long I’ve been alone? How many foster homes I’ve been in, how many times I’ve been thrown out of school because I didn’t understand what’s going on with my body? Only to find out my dad is a fucking werewolf, and all this time I’ve had a family, a pack that I didn’t know about?” The ball of rage inside her exploded. “Yeah, that’s fucking hard to hear.”
She lashed out and pushed Caden in the chest. Before she knew it, she found herself slammed up against the house. Caden’s eyes were yellow, her fangs protruding, and she was growling.
“Let me go!” Ripp struggled, but Caden’s grip was like steel.
As she struggled Caden said, “What do you feel?”
“Like I want to bite your fucking head off,” Ripp roared.
“What else?” Caden pushed her more forcefully into the wall. “Feel your anger and tell me, what else?”
Ripp closed her eyes and the cloud of anger filled her body. “My jaws ache, and my fingers hurt.”
“Look at my teeth.” Caden then lifted her hand that was partially shifted. “What do you see?”
“Fangs and claws. They’re trying to burst out of me, aren’t they?” Ripp then felt sharp pains in her joints, and tears of frustration rolled down her face. “My body—am I a wolf?”
Caden let her go and guided her over to the bench. “Sit, and don’t attack me again. I’m bigger and stronger.”
“I can’t control it. It’s always been the same,” Ripp said dejectedly.
“You haven’t had anyone to teach you like most wolves. I will help you,” Caden said.
“Why do you want to help me?” Ripp said. “You’ve been trying to get rid of me since I arrived.”
“That’s because I thought you were a Lupa,” Caden explained. “They’re a rival wolf pack who attacked Eden, our Mater. We’ve all been waiting for them to come out of the woodwork since.”
“Tell me about my father,” Ripp demanded.
* * *
As soon as Kyra heard about what had happened, she drove Xander’s truck over to Caden and Lena’s den as quickly as she could. Every cell in her body told her her mate was in danger, she needed to help her mate. But Ripp wasn’t her mate.
She pulled up and ran to the door. Caden answered and Kyra said, “Is Ripp okay? I need to see her.”
Caden ushered her in and shut the door. Lena was sitting on the couch and smiled at her. “Are you all right, sweetie?”
“I need to see Ripp.”
Caden sighed. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. She’s struggling with what she’s learned about herself.”
“That she’s half wolf? I knew in my soul from the first moment that I saw her that she was one of us, but my brain just wouldn’t accept it.”
“Cade”—Lena stood—“go and get Ripp. We’ll sit in the kitchen and let you talk, Ky.”
Caden nodded but said, “Be careful. She’s a very angry person, and her father didn’t handle anger well.”
“I can calm her,” Kyra said with certainty.
Caden got Ripp, then walked into the kitchen to give them privacy. As soon as Kyra saw Ripp, she hurried over and tried to throw her arms around her, but Ripp was stiff and didn’t return her hug.
“Are you okay? I was so worried about you and Storm,” Kyra said.
Ripp sat down on the couch and said in a monotone, “Storm’s sleeping on my bed upstairs.”
“And you?” Kyra sat down beside her.
Ripp turned to look her in the eye, and all Kyra could see was anger and confusion. “When I first met you, I thought I’d found the first person in my life I could be myself with, that I could trust.”
“You can.” Kyra tried to take Ripp’s hand, but she pulled it away.
“Kyra, you lied to me.”
Tears fell down Kyra’s cheeks. “I didn’t, Ripp. Only the Alpha can give permission to tell anyone our secret.”
Ripp stood and walked ov
er to fireplace. “You are the white wolf I met the first day here, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I wish I could have told you, but we can move on from here. You can trust me.”
Ripp turned around angrily. “Why do you want to be friends with a half breed?”
“Don’t call yourself that,” Kyra pleaded.
“That’s exactly what I am,” Ripp said. “Not human, not wolf.”
Kyra couldn’t stop herself from trying to soothe Ripp’s anger. “You’re the perfect mix of wolf and human.”
“Did you know about my dad, Ansel?”
Kyra shook her head.
“Caden said he was what you call curet. He couldn’t control his anger or his wolf.”
Kyra knew exactly what that meant in the wolf world. Curet was the name for a wolf who was feral. A feral wolf had a faulty gene that made them unable to cope with controlling their wolf side. They needed a lot of medical help and pack protection.
Ripp continued, “He couldn’t control his wolf side, and he was dangerous to others. I could be like him. I’m nothing that you could ever need.”
Ripp grasped her dark hair, her knuckles white she was gripping it so tightly, frustration clearly coursing through her body.
Kyra had to touch her, but when she did, Ripp cried out in pain and braced herself against the fireplace. Caden and Lena came into the room.
“Kyra, maybe it’s best if you go,” Caden said.
Kyra’s heart was aching. All she wanted to do was soothe Ripp, but she couldn’t.
Lena took her hand and led her to the door. “Give it some time, Ky. Ripp’s had a lot to deal with today.”
Kyra nodded, but walking away broke her heart.
* * *
Ripp couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t used to sleeping in such a warm, comfortable bed. Storm didn’t seem to need time to settle in. After his new friend Lena fed him a big hearty meal, he stretched across Ripp’s bed and was snoring his head off.
She was sitting by the open window, breathing in the fresh air, trying to calm her soul. Ripp had sensed there was something different about her all of her life, but not for one second had she suspected it was because she had werewolf blood in her. This was crazy.
Had that been why Bobby encouraged her to come here? Had he known the truth about this place? Had he suspected her?
She took the picture Caden had given her of Ansel and his sister, Caden’s Pater. She did look like him, but was she like him in all ways?
Ripp almost wished she’d never stopped in Wolfgang County. Then she wouldn’t have known anything about her father or what the Wolfgangs were. Her pain only got worse here. Dr. Jaycen explained that wolves had a deep connection to the land, and that her presence here brought out the wolf inside her more.
And if she hadn’t come, she also wouldn’t have met Kyra.
Ripp remembered Kyra crying when she shunned her, and the guilt ate away at her. She was just so angry about the secrets everyone had kept from her. Her whole life was a secret, and Kyra was the first person she had trusted.
Only the day before they had been sitting at the diner planning their date, and she had been so excited. Kyra was all she could think about. Now? She didn’t know what to do. Her head was too full of questions and decisions to be made.
Caden had explained that she could transition to become a full werewolf if she wanted to. Humans could go through the change, but it was very dangerous. Yet the thought of becoming who she truly was inside was so enticing.
Ripp heard a noise and looked down to Caden’s backyard. There in the middle of the grass was the white wolf she had met on her first day here.
“Kyra.”
Her wolf was beautiful, unlike any she’d ever seen. Every part of her felt compelled to go to her.
But just as that thought entered her mind, the wolf ran off in a flash. She let her head fall back against the wall. How could she ever be wolf enough for Kyra? She wasn’t as strong, she couldn’t protect her as well as another wolf could, unless she went through the change, but there was always the chance she might not make it through.
Ripp’s whole life, she had looked in the mirror and known her reflection didn’t show who she was inside. All this time there was a wolf inside her, clawing to get out. Was she ready to embrace that wolf inside herself?
Chapter Twelve
“Up!” Ripp heard through the fog of sleep, and then she heard a bark.
“Go away…sleeping,” Ripp mumbled. She was just starting to enjoy the luxury of a soft, warm bed.
She felt the comforter ripped from her, and she was lifted up by her T-shirt and deposited on the floor with a bang.
“What the fuck are you doing?” She looked up and Caden was towering above her with a T-shirt and shorts in hand.
“I’ve told you—don’t swear in my den around my mate. Understand?” Caden said sternly.
Ripp naturally wanted to react but bit her tongue. She looked to Caden’s side and saw Storm sitting by Caden’s feet, panting excitedly. Traitor.
Storm understood pack hierarchy and naturally accepted his new pack’s second in command.
But this was not her new pack, Ripp told herself.
“What time is it?” Ripp looked over at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s five in the morning.”
Caden threw the shorts and T-shirt at her and said, “I do know that. Do you not think I’d rather be in bed with my mate than looking at you? Get dressed. We’re going to start Controlling Your Wolf, lesson one.”
Ripp stood and threw the clothes on the bed. “I’m not a wolf. I’m a fucking hybrid.”
The corner of Caden’s mouth lifted and she gave the most menacing warning growl, which conveyed her message exactly.
“I’m sorry. I’m a hybrid, not a wolf, I mean.”
Caden looked down at Storm and scratched his ears. “Do you look at Storm and not respect the wolf in him?”
“No, it’s a big part of who he is,” Ripp replied.
Caden put her hand on Ripp’s shoulder. “Whether you decide to change or not, you will always have to respect the wolf in you, if you want to control your anger.”
Ripp looked up to Caden and said, “You think I’m like my father, don’t you. You think I’m dangerous.”
“Every werewolf is dangerous, Ripp, and every wolf struggles daily with aggression, especially dominants like us. Now that Lena is pregnant, I generally want to tear anything apart that comes near her, but I don’t, and that’s the difference. We learn how to control it. You were just never taught.”
Ripp nodded. “So, what’s lesson one?”
Caden smiled. “My second favorite morning activity—running.”
“I can’t run with you. I’m not a wolf,” Ripp said sadly.
“You’ve got legs, haven’t you? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Change clothes, and I’ll meet you and Storm downstairs in five minutes.”
As Caden walked away Ripp said, “Why are you doing this?”
“Because you’re my kin, you’re pack, and pack always looks after each other.”
That statement gave Ripp a warm feeling of belonging that she’d never experienced before. It felt good.
Ripp nodded, and just as Caden walked through the bedroom door, Ripp joked, “Hey, if running’s your second favorite morning activity, what’s your first?”
Caden grinned and gave her a wink.
* * *
Kyra walked downstairs to breakfast and felt the tension in the kitchen as soon as she entered.
She kissed Hannah, who was in her high chair, and said, “Morning,” to everyone else. She sat down and heard Xander say to Nix, “Go and get your books ready for school. Remember?”
Nix sighed and pushed out her chair with a screech. “Okay.”
Kyra filled up her plate with bacon, eggs and toast, then realized Xander and Ava were staring at her.
“What’s wrong?”
Her sister looked really angry. “Where did you go last night? I kno
w you went out running.”
“I’m not sixteen anymore, Ava. I can go out without asking and stay out all night if I want to,” Kyra said.
“You can’t, now that we are at war with the Lupas, and we have a renegade hybrid on our land.”
Kyra let her fork fall with a clatter. “Don’t call her that. She’s one of us, a Wolfgang, just like you and me.”
“Kyra,” Xander said, “we’re just trying to protect you. Caden is going to work with Ripp, but we don’t know—”
“—whether she is mentally unable to control her wolf, just like her father,” Ava finished for her. “I don’t want you to see her again until we’re sure.”
“What are you talking about? She needs our help. She needs the pack,” Kyra snapped.
Hannah started to cry, and Xander offered to take her through to the other room.
Ava softened her tone and said, “I’m just trying to protect you. I’ve already lost my brother to Ansel.”
“Uncle Gage isn’t lost. He lives in the Wulver pack in Scotland.” Kyra was really confused.
“He left because of Ansel. They were best friends, and Gage, just like you, thought he could help him. Ansel was a curet. He ran away to the city and used every means to control his wolf, to calm his mind—alcohol, drugs—but you know what that does to us. One night he called Gage, raving that he’d killed someone in a fight.”
“What happened?”
“When your uncle got there, he’d taken a drug overdose and left a letter saying he couldn’t live like this anymore, and that he was a danger to others.”
Kyra clasped her hand to her mouth. “Poor Uncle Gage, poor Ansel.”
“Gage had to bring his body back to Caden’s Pater. He never got over it. After a while he decided to have a fresh start and went to the Wulvers. I can’t risk you being around that danger.”
“Ripp’s Pater might have been troubled and dangerous, but Ripp isn’t, and I won’t give up on her,” Kyra said.
Ava cupped her cheek. “That’s what Gage said, Ky. I can’t lose you.”