Sisters of the Heart - 03 - Forgiven

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “I think differently.”

  She smiled even though she couldn’t see his shining eyes. But even blindfolded, Anna knew he was pleased as punch. All morning he’d been staying close by her side. After they served guests, he’d invented a half-dozen reasons to stay in the kitchen far longer than normal. Why, he’d even helped her shake out the entryway rugs, something that he usually never ceased to avoid. Henry wasn’t one for dust flying in his face. “So where are we going? And what is the occasion, please?”

  “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

  “Exactly!”

  “Not one more word. Settle down, Anna. Just a few more steps. Trust me.”

  She did. She trusted Henry like no one else. With that in mind, she stopped fussing and put her hands in his and trusted.

  Still holding one hand and taking comfort in the other that rested on her shoulder, Anna trudged on. Oh, the ground had never felt so rocky and difficult! Though her feet were encased in sturdy shoes, she still felt off kilter.

  “Stop.”

  “Blindfold off now?”

  Instead of replying right away, he merely slipped his fingers around the cloth and loosened the knot behind her head. “What do you see?” he whispered, his mouth close to her neck.

  She blinked several times to allow her eyes to adjust. And then she noticed the stakes on the ground. “Is this for our home?”

  “It is.” Eagerly, he pulled her along, showing her where their bedroom, kitchen, and family rooms would be. When he slowed to a stop, he stomped his foot. “And this will be our front porch. Anna, within a year, we’ll be greeting the morning sun from this spot.”

  She turned in a circle and then turned again, this time spinning fast enough that the air flew up under her skirts and belled them out. She giggled at the thought of behaving like a schoolgirl. But that’s what she felt like! Free and in love and happy. “It looks perfect, Henry.”

  Suddenly the emotion of all they’d been through caught up with her. “We’re so blessed.”

  Triumph in his eyes fell away as he looked at her more closely. Reaching out, he gently wiped a tear away. “Why are you crying?”

  “I don’t know. I guess because for a while I thought all of this was never going to happen. I’ve been wondering why you never mentioned where you wanted to build.”

  “I’ve been too afraid.”

  “Afraid of what?” This was news to her. From the time she’d first moved to his home, Henry had always acted confident and assured.

  “You, if you wanna know the truth.”

  Anna was dumbstruck. “You’re not making any sense.”

  Stepping to the side, he reached for her hands. When he held both securely within his own, he said, “Anna, you’ve given up so much. Sometimes, I know it’s been particularly hard.”

  “It has, but I expected some things to be hard—they would have to be, don’t you think? I mean, honestly, Henry, I was used to microwaving popcorn and zapping frozen dinners. But…but that doesn’t mean my old ways were better. It’s just taken some adjustment…and I have adjusted.”

  “I know you miss your music stations on the radio,” he said, showing Anna that he’d truly listened to every story she’d told him about her past life. “I know you liked watching your soaps, too.”

  She fought a smile. “Believe me, I’m perfectly fine not watching Days of Our Lives.”

  “I’m just sayin’ that I wouldn’t have been shocked if you had changed your mind.”

  “Changed my mind—Henry, did you really think I could just up and leave you?” Anna didn’t even try to contain her surprise. After everything they’d been through, she would have thought Henry was the last person in the world to doubt her love for him.

  “I didn’t think you would do something without thinking, but I could imagine that one day running your own home without any electricity might be terribly hard.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve never taken your efforts for granted, Anna. You’ve given up a lot for me.”

  “I’ve gained more than I gave up,” she said, knowing that words could never completely describe the peace she’d found with the Amish, the confidence that now surrounded her because she knew she was not alone—she was walking with the Lord. “I told my mother that yesterday when she came out to visit.” Slowly, she added, “And, you know what? I think Mom is realizing that. No longer is she worried about me missing credit cards and cell phones. She’s thinking about how happy I am, and how secure and comfortable I feel with you. How our love is the most important thing to me.”

  “I’m glad you two are talking more.”

  “Me too.” Anna didn’t know if she and her mother would ever completely put past arguments behind them, but she did think that they’d reached an agreement. She’d even stopped complaining about Henry’s Amish life and how unsuitable he was for Anna. Sometime during the last year, she’d seemed to understand Anna and Henry were a good match. That it was their differences that complemented each other, and made each of their rough edges smoother.

  Anna was truly grateful for her mother’s change of heart. “Oh, Henry, I can hardly believe we’ll be married at the beginning of May.”

  “May is not a long way off at all.”

  “No, though sometimes it still feels like a lifetime.”

  Reaching out for her, he murmured, “Sometimes, I think that, too.”

  His pronouncement made Anna very happy.

  Sam had never minded getting dirty. That was a good thing, since at the moment, he was knee deep in mud and manure. He and Eli had been plowing and prepping the soil for the spring alfalfa crop over the last week, and while he didn’t necessarily mind it, he had a very good feeling that he’d never get the earthy smell out of his clothes ever again.

  Two rows over, Eli caught sight of his face and laughed heartily. “You look like you’ve been rolling in mud and came up the loser.”

  “I feel like it.”

  “In another day or two we’ll be done and the soil will be better for our effort.”

  “That doesn’t mean I won’t be happy to be clean for a bit, though.”

  “You city types,” Eli teased.

  Eli chuckled again, then got back to work, carefully raking the soil with as much care as if he was handling baby chickens.

  Sam did the same, though his mind kept drifting to other things, such as the people in the community. Most of the conversations he’d been part of had centered on the Lundy farm.

  He liked Jonathan Lundy and was eager to help him repair his barn. Jonathan had a good job at the lumber factory and therefore could only work on Saturdays. A group of men—Sam included—had decided to help dismantle the building. Next would come a month of Saturdays in preparation to rebuild, culminating in a barn raising.

  “Is Jonathan still thinking about raising his barn around the Brenneman wedding?”

  “I believe so. May is a gut time to work. The weather will be warmer, and most of the planting will be done. Lots of men will be there to lend a helping hand.” Straightening for a moment, Eli said, “It’s a shame you won’t be here for that.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Really? I thought you had to get back to the university.”

  “I do, but I want to do my part.”

  “You already have. No one will expect so much from you.”

  That bothered Sam more than he was willing to admit. Maybe because it was so true. No one here had ever accused him of not belonging, or for wanting to follow his dreams. Instead, they seemed to take his appearance in their lives the way they’d taken his leaving, with a shrug and a prayer that God had a plan for each of them.

  Now that he thought of it, his English friends didn’t treat him much differently. They were cordial and easy to work with. They respected his intelligence and his work ethic. But had they ever reached out to him in order to deepen their friendship?

  More importantly, had he ever done that? As Sam felt his muscles expand and contract with the mo
tion of his raking, he thought he never really had. No, more likely, he was constantly torn between two worlds, precariously balancing the views and values he was brought up with and the modern norms.

  And there were quite a few modern conveniences he had enjoyed very much. Such as ESPN. He loved watching sports on television. He enjoyed baseball games and had become a fan of the Indians. He liked watching the college basketball games and rooting for the underdogs.

  But was sports on TV all he needed?

  “Let’s clean up now, the sun’s beginning to lay low.”

  “All right.”

  Sam walked his path, looking around with a sense of pleasure as he did so. His body felt worn, his mind free. He looked forward to a good meal and a solid night’s sleep.

  Those were the things that mattered. Not ambition and research papers.

  Chapter 9

  “Oh, would you look at that?” Sam said to Winnie as they passed the Oberlins’ farm. “Benjamin’s got a new pup. Think he’s going to be a good farm dog?”

  Winnie turned just in time to see a speckled dog with popped up ears tagging alongside Ben and his plow. She chuckled. “He’ll be good if he learns to mind the horses. Ben’s got a team of four out today. That’s a lot of hooves for one small hund to look out for.”

  “I betcha before long that dog is going to be taking a rest in the sun and leaving the hard work to his master.”

  “I imagine so.” As the farm faded from view, she turned her attention once again to Sam. He’d been kind enough to offer to drive her to the doctor that morning. And though he said he didn’t mind the errand, she still felt a bit guilty. The trip back and forth to the medical center was sure to take the better part of a day. “I hope Eli could spare you today.”

  “He can, I promise. We’ve been plowing and preparing the fields since I arrived. We are both happy to take a break.”

  That was yet another thing she liked about Sam. No matter what, he seemed to have a pleasant disposition. She’d rarely heard him ever complain. “I’m hoping to get some good news today.”

  “I hope you will. It looks like your skin is healing.”

  “I’ll have some scars, but it’s a small price to pay.”

  “That’s the right attitude, Win. Good job,” he added, sounding very much like the teacher he was.

  The traffic got thick. She was still nervous enough around the large tractor trailers to fall silent so Sam could concentrate on the many vehicles around them. But every time there was silence, she found herself thinking about how their lives might have been if Sam had never left.

  Moments later, he pulled into a parking place. As he unbuckled his seat belt, he grinned at her. “Now, don’t you go running off without me, Winnie Lundy. Your brother would have my hat if I didn’t insist you sit in your wheelchair.”

  Her cheeks heated at his gentle teasing. “Go on with you now, Samuel. I don’t have all day.”

  But underneath her gruff words, she held these moments close to her heart.

  A few days later, Winnie’s ears were filled with jubilant shouts. “They’re here! They’re here!” Hannah shouted before racing Mary down the hall and jerking the door open with a flourish.

  “Careful now, Hannah,” Winnie called out, but her warning was ignored. Not hard to understand, since it was she who was stuck in the wheelchair, not her nieces.

  Winnie sat quietly and listened to the three Miller men enter and get greeted with a round of excitement. It was hard to tell whose voice was whose as a chorus of “Hi, Sam! Hi, Eli! Hi, Caleb!” rang out.

  As Katie joined them and conversation flowed, Winnie slumped as she continued to listen. Being in a wheelchair surely prevented her from being in the thick of things.

  Slowly, she wheeled herself to the edge of the family room, so she could peek into the kitchen just enough to catch a bit of what was going on. Anything was better than seeing nothing.

  After stomping their boots clean on the grate outside, the men finally came in. While Eli merely waved a hello and Caleb made a beeline toward the tray of vegetables and dip laying on the counter, Sam walked toward her. Winnie noticed that same amused look that always seemed to lurk behind his eyes. “How is your foot today?”

  Looking at her cast, Winnie shrugged. “The same. I can’t wait to get this cast off. I feel like I’m a prisoner. All I can do is watch from the sidelines.” She winced then as she heard herself. “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I sound like a petulant child. I know you didn’t come over here just to hear me complain.”

  But instead of being taken aback by her clumsy words, he sat down on the tile in front of the bare fireplace. “I came over here for meatloaf and mashed potatoes, if you want the truth.”

  That admission brought her out of her pity party and made her laugh. “Samuel, you came to the right place. Katie is a right fine cook.”

  He pushed stray locks away from his forehead. “So, what have you been doing?”

  “Quilting. Katie and I are making a wedding ring quilt for Henry and Anna. And, well, the girls are working on place mats for the couple.”

  “I figured you wouldn’t be restless for long.”

  “I have been, but I’m trying not to let it get me down.” She shrugged. “I like being busy.”

  “I like that about you.”

  “Well, you must like all Amish women, then. We all do a fine job of keepin’ busy.”

  He chuckled. “Winnie, one thing’s for sure. You are sure to never run out of things to say.”

  Once again, her penchant for speaking her mind made her feel self-conscious. Winnie swallowed and tried to pretend she wasn’t moved by his attention. But, just as when they’d been in the truck together, she was. Still conscious of his gaze settling on her, she pushed the conversation along.

  “So, what is new with you?”

  “I got a new teaching assistant to help with labs. Her name is Kathleen and she’s sharp as a whip.”

  “Kathleen?”

  “Yep.” Sam’s eyes shone as he continued. “You would get a kick out of her, Winnie. She asked more questions than anyone I’ve ever met. And she carries around enough books for three people.”

  In spite of her jealousy, she was intrigued. “Why so many?”

  “When I asked, she said they were more useful than her computer! She’s going to keep me on my toes, I tell you that. Some days I feel like I can hardly keep up with her, she’s so smart. Yesterday afternoon, she questioned the validity of one of the experiments we were working on. That led everyone into a rousing discussion. Two boys almost started yelling.”

  “It sounds exciting.” But, really, his words brought forth a feeling of doom. In her world, she felt as confident and smart as anyone else. But in Sam’s college world, she felt like a dummkopp—a dunce. When he started talking about scientific methods and organic compounds, she was completely lost.

  Sam just kept talking, lost in his musings. “It was incredibly exciting. It’s moments like that when I remember why I got into teaching. There’s nothing like a group of interested, active minds.”

  “I’m sure they like you, too.”

  “They will, until I grill them over the reading and question all of their methods and theories. Then I have a feeling they won’t like me very much.” He chuckled. “Having to justify a hypothesis is a difficult task to perform.”

  Once she filtered out all the fancy language, Winnie got to the heart of the matter. “Test-taking is part of learning, jah?”

  Sam blinked, then smiled at her with dawning respect. “Of course, you’re right. I forget just how sensible you are, Winnie. And forthright.”

  In spite of her best intentions to keep emotionally distant, Winnie was pleased. Rarely did people praise her for being sensible. In the past, most men she’d been interested in had preferred a more dreamy type of woman. They’d viewed her blunt way of seeing things as unfeminine. Of course, the only schooling she’d had was in the one-room Amish schoolhouse that he had been in
, too. Like most other Amish, her formal schooling had ended at fourteen. After that, she’d focused on other important lessons, such as how to keep a good home.

  “Sam, what are you doing?” Eli called out.

  “Talking to Winnie.”

  “Well, come on over here, wouldja? Jonathan was just going to tell us about his plans for the new barn.”

  “You better go, the plans are exciting, to be sure,” she said quickly when he hesitated.

  “Okay.” Standing up, he grasped the handles of her chair. “I’ll push you into the kitchen. That way you won’t have to be here by yourself.”

  “It’s okay. I can move myself, and well, I’ve heard plenty about the barn plans. Go on.”

  As soon as he was out of sight, Winnie rested her head against the padded fabric of the wheelchair. Oh, but he made her heart race, he was so terribly good-looking. She liked the way he was interested and seemed to care about so many things. There always seemed to be a hint of mischief lying beneath his eyes, like he was thinking of so much more than he ever spoke aloud.

  No, there was nothing plodding and quiet about Sam.

  Once, at the hospital, she’d noticed a pair of women looking at him with interest. One had whispered to the other. After a moment, they’d both giggled. Winnie could only imagine the interest he inspired among the women at his college.

  That new Kathleen was probably smitten with Samuel, too. Valiantly, Winnie decided that was good. After all, he would be a fine husband for some woman.

  The door opened again. Moments later, the welcome voices of Anna and Henry joined the throng. To her pleasure, both Katie and Anna soon left the kitchen and joined her.

  “We couldn’t take that conversation a moment longer,” Katie said as soon as she sat down. “Plans and more plans. Those men are excited about every nail!”

  “Henry’s acting as if it is his dream barn they’re fixin’ to construct! These men are planning for it to be double the size and twice as sturdy.”