Arizona Skies: The Muse

by S. Cruz

  I looked at me and smiled. “I know you’ve got a lot of problems to work through right now, but believe me she’s worth the trouble. Logistically that is going to be a big problem, but I’m sure you two will work it out. If it’s meant to be, then it will happen,” he said being the voice of reason I’ve come to rely on.

  “What about when she leaves, what do I do then?”

  “Afraid you’ll slip back into fuckup mode again, there, Jess?” John said.

  “Absolutely!”

  “Then I guess we’ll have to figure out a way to lure her to Arizona, won’t we?” John said.

  “From your lips to God’s ears,” I said.

  “Listen; don’t give up the ship, OK? I’m sure she’s feeling the same way about you. We’ll figure it out,” John said, patting my shoulder as he put the papers back on my desk.

  “I’m being such an asshole right now,” I said to him.

  “You used to be an asshole, but right now you’re not. OK, now keep up the good work,” John said as he left my room. I looked over at Scott and shook my head. John was so smart; he understood what I was feeling. I did feel better after confessing my feelings out loud. I had to get over my pity party and just deal.

  “Fuck this feeling sorry for myself. I’m over it, man. Let’s go have some fun; what do you say?”

  “Hell yeah, welcome back, Jess,” Scott said, hooking his hand with mine to pull me in for a man hug.

  “Well, that was a very productive meeting,” I said, chuckling as I changed, and we headed out my door. If I thought my life was a whirlwind before, now it was kicked up to a category-three hurricane. I decided to hold on and enjoy the ride. I’d cry and lick my wounds later on.

  “Right now I just want to concentrate on having fun and loving my girl!”

  “That’s the Jess we all know and love,” Scott chuckled.

  “I love you, man,” I said, not ashamed to admit my admiration for him.

  Twelve

  Bailey

  Jesse and I combed the ship looking for just the right gifts for family. He bought a stuffed dolphin for his little niece and a motorized ship for his nephew. He let me help pick out a beautiful scarf for his mother and a shawl similar to the one I bought for his sister. His brother-in-law he decided needed to have a gadget for his desk. I had no clue what it was, but Jesse was sure it would entertain him. I looked around as he shopped, giving my opinion when he asked. Jesse had a pretty good idea what he wanted for each individual; he had good taste. I was looking in this boutique at T-shirts when Jesse decided he’d forgotten something.

  “Listen, I need to go back down that way. I’ll be right back,” he said.

  “OK,” I said, holding up T-shirts.

  Jesse disappeared around the corner as I continued to look for just the right shirt. I chose one in light blue that had an ocean scene with dolphins at sunset. It had the beautiful, red-and-pink sunset that I remembered watching on deck with Jesse. I bought it big so it hung halfway down my thighs, my favorite sleeping garment. I paid for it and turned around to leave. There was Jesse leaning up against the door, waiting for me with a big smile on his face.

  “How long have you been standing there?” I asked.

  “Long enough to see the most beautiful girl in the world hold up a T-shirt to her body for size,” he said. “Looks a little big, I think.”

  “I want it big to sleep in. It reminds me of watching the sunset with you from the ship’s deck,” I said.

  “I can’t wait to see you in it,” he said, taking my hand to lead me out of the store.

  “Shopping all done?” I asked.

  “Yep, let’s head back and rest for a while,” he said, leading the way.

  We went to his room. He put his purchases away, except for one bag he set on his bed. He crawled up on the bed and pulled me with him, leaning against the headboard as he cradled me in his arms and stroked my hair.

  “Mmmmm…you smell like heaven,” he said, playing with my hair.

  “It’s that special shower we had,” I said, smiling at him.

  He chuckled, holding me tight, not saying a word. He reached down for the package and held it up to me.

  “I bought you something,” he said, taking the box out of the plastic bag.

  I sat up to inspect the box in his hand.

  “This is for me?” I asked as he handed it to me. It was a beautiful, red velvet box, too pretty to open.

  “Open it,” he prompted, watching me intently.

  I opened the lid, and there was an exquisite silver necklace with a diamond-studded heart, and in the center of the heart was a ruby.

  “Jesse, it’s beautiful,” I said, taking it out of the box. The diamonds sparkled in the sunlight. The chain was light and delicate. The heart was about an inch in diameter, very dainty and stunning.

  “That’s my heart, Bailey; it beats for you. The ruby in the center represents the first day I saw you in that red dress,” he said, smiling at me.

  “Jesse, I don’t know what to say; it’s beautiful. You put a lot of thought into this; that means so much to me,” I said with tears in my eyes.

  “Honey, don’t cry,” he said, pulling me to his chest for a hug.

  “I can’t help it; it’s so sweet. I love it,” I said, reaching under my hair to hook it around my neck, feeling the stones in the heart with my fingers.

  “That necklace represents how I feel about you; don’t ever doubt that. Even when we’re separated, just reach up, touch it, and know I’m with you in my heart,” he said, looking into my eyes. “Just like every time I look at this leather band, I’ll think of you and know that you’re with me in your heart.” He kissed me sweetly.

  “I’ll never take it off,” I said, returning his kiss.

  “I’m glad you like it. I saw it, and every time we walked past it, it called to me. I had to go back and get it for you,” he said.

  “Jesse, it must have been so expensive; are you sure?” I asked, running my finger over the diamonds.

  “Honey, I’d buy you a dozen if I could keep you with me and not send you back to Pennsylvania. Come here, snuggle with me, and let’s just hold each other for a while,” he said, sliding down on the bed. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his breathing. It was calming holding him, just happy to be together.

  Jesse stroked my hair as he held me, humming in my ear. I could hear his voice coming up from his chest, like he was singing from his heart just for me. I was so in love with him; my heart was breaking into little pieces every day as we became closer and closer to each other. It was bittersweet to find the man of my dreams, only to have to let him go in a few days. It felt cruel in a way, like we were torturing each other being together like this—knowing our love was going to crash and burn, leaving us as charred and mangled pieces of our hot and explosive love affair.

  Sometimes life isn’t fair, and I was sure this was one of those times. My love, my life, my future lay in this bed, holding me just as tightly as I held on to him! Trying to spend as much time together as we could, keeping our much-needed connection, exchanging mementos to remember each other by—tokens of our love.

  Jesse

  I actually enjoyed shopping with Bailey. She helped me pick out gifts for my family. We kept walking past this one jewelry store, and this necklace was calling out to me. Somehow I’d have to find a way to sneak back and get a closer look. I loved the wristband she had bought for me and I wanted to get her something special, something that expressed my feelings for her.

  Bailey was patient while I shopped, giving her opinion when I asked. I had no idea what to get for my sister and mother, so she took over, making suggestions and helping with size and colors. Her tastes were impeccable; I trusted her completely. I told her a little bit about my sister’s kids.

  She was looking through all the T-shirts for just the right one for herself, so I took the opportunity to run back to the jewelry shop. When the woman pulled the heart-shaped necklace out of the case and I
got a closer look at it, it was perfect. It represented our relationship perfectly, and I had to get it. I had the woman gift wrap it and stuck the bag inside one of my other bags.

  A one-inch heart-shaped necklace with a ruby in the center and diamonds covering it, set in sterling silver. It was perfect!

  I’d noticed that Bailey only wore silver jewelry, and that necklace was exquisite, just like her. It was very expensive, but I wasn’t worried about the price; I could afford it. We had a couple hours to kill before dinner, so I took her back to my room to rest.

  “Just let me put this away,” I said, stepping into my closet to put my bags down. I pulled out the small package with the red box inside it and brought that back with me. I was anxious to give it to her.

  She was sitting on my bed smiling when I walked back toward her.

  “What’s that?” she asked.

  “A surprise,” I said, putting it on the nightstand while I pulled her into bed and propped my head up on the headboard. She snuggled in and rested her head on my arm.

  “This is nice,” she said, wrapping herself around me like a second skin.

  “Just what I needed,” I said, reaching over to pick up the box and put it on my chest.

  “Open it,” I encouraged her.

  “Jesse, what did you do? I told you not to buy me anything. When did you do this?” she asked, sitting up to take the box in her hand.

  “So many questions; just open it, would you?” I pleaded.

  She took the box in her hand and opened it with a loud sigh. “Jesse, it’s beautiful,” she said, taking the necklace out of the box to examine it.

  “Do you like it?” I asked.

  “I love it; it’s exquisite,” she said, watching it sparkle in the sunlight.

  “Not nearly as exquisite as you are,” I said, explaining my meaning behind this piece. “It represents my heart, and this ruby is you standing in that little red dress when I first saw you.”

  The tears started streaming down her cheeks.

  “Put it on me, please,” she asked, holding up her hair.

  “Honey, don’t cry; it’s a reminder when we’re apart that you have my heart around your neck,” I said, hooking it.

  “It’s perfect,” she said, leaning down for a kiss. It sparkled as she smiled at me, her fingers feeling the stones in the heart. She held my heart in her delicate hands.

  Thirteen

  Bailey

  I went back to my room to get ready for dinner. Jesse liked my blue dress and asked me to keep it on for tonight. As I walked up to my door, Shelly came out of hers and met me in the hallway.

  “I was worried about you when you didn’t come back,” she said.

  “We went to Jesse’s room to relax for a while,” I said, opening my door as she walked in ahead of me.

  “What’s that around your neck?” she asked, reaching out to inspect my necklace.

  “Jesse gave it to me; he said it represents his heart. The ruby in the center is when he first saw me in my red dress on the dock,” I explained.

  “That’s so romantic. Bailey, it’s exquisite,” she said, inspecting it closely.

  “I know; he has good taste,” I said, sitting on my bed.

  “He sure does; he picked you, didn’t he?” she said, hugging me.

  “I think we chose each other when our eyes first connected; I’ve never felt anything like that before,” I said.

  “I know; I feel the same way about Scott; we’ve connected on a whole different level. It’s like he’s my other half—we like the same things; we joke, laugh, and love like we’ve been together for years,” she gushed.

  “We’re both doomed, girlfriend,” I said as she plopped down on the bed beside me. I was feeling a little melancholy, on the verge of tears as I felt of my necklace and remembered our afternoon together.

  “Stop it; this conversation is getting too sad. I want to go out and have fun tonight,” she said, changing the subject like she always did.

  “OK, will you do something exotic with my hair like you promised?” I asked.

  “Let’s do it,” she said, pulling me into the bathroom to plug in my curling iron. She made several small braids on each side of my head and then pulled them up into a messy knot. Then she pinned flower hairpins around the knot to hold my hair in place, curling the rest in spiral curls, which she fingered through.

  It looked very Victorian, which actually matched my long, elegant dress. We talked girl talk like we used to in high school, comparing notes on our men and how they’d captivated our lives. I confessed to her that I was glad to have finally lost my virginity to Jesse; he was a sweet and caring lover. She didn’t tease me, just listened intently to me as I poured out my heart.

  “Two checks off my list,” I said to her. Maybe three, I thought, since I was positive I’d also fallen in love.

  We headed out for dinner and a night at the casino, looking our best, happy to be young and in love. Neither of us would ever be the same after this cruise.

  When we walked into the dining hall, our men were right by the door waiting for us as usual. Scott had on the necklace that Shelly had given him—she was right; it matched his eyes perfectly. He was dressed in black, trying to match her, I suspected, since she was also in black. Jesse was in khakis with a dark-blue shirt, looking very non-rocker tonight. He took my hand as we headed to find a table. We chose a table next to the window so we could enjoy the view of the ocean while we ate dinner.

  John and Keith joined us; both looking more dressed up than usual. I didn’t see Liza anywhere and hoped that they hadn’t had an argument.

  “Where’s Liza?” I asked Keith.

  “She had a headache; I think she got too much sun today. She was quite a lovely shade of pink when I left her in her room. She was going to rest for a while and hopefully join us at the casino later,” Keith said.

  “I hope she’s OK; blondes have to be extra careful in the sun,” Shelly said, twirling her golden locks around her finger.

  “I know; the poor girl fell asleep. I went to the drugstore to get her some aloe cream and rubbed it all over her skin,” Keith said.

  The usual playful banter ensued at the dinner table. I spent a lot of time looking out the window at the ocean, trying to commit to memory every hour of this amazing adventure. Jesse squeezed my hand to bring me back to reality, tucking my hand into his arm as he joked with the guys. I think he knew what I was thinking when I lost myself in the view; he seemed to understand, feeling just as strongly as I did about this cruise.

  “Let’s go have some fun, baby, and later I’m going to love every inch of that incredible body of yours,” he said, helping me up.

  “I’ll hold you to that, Greene,” I smiled.

  “You do that Miss Harris,” he said with a wink.

  “Let’s get crazy drunk and gamble,” Scott said, doing his best to rile everyone up. Shelly held on to him like a lifeline as he headed toward the door with a long-legged stride she couldn’t keep up with.

  John shook his head. “Do we have to put up with him tonight?” he asked Jesse.

  “He’s pumped; we’d better go and keep an eye on him; he could get into trouble,” Jesse chuckled.

  “Where does he get all that energy?” John asked as we followed him on the deck.

  “I think he had too much sun today,” Jesse said. “He’s blond too, you know!”

  “Well, that explains today, but what about the other three hundred sixty-four days of the year?” John said, opening the door to the casino to usher us in.

  Liza was standing there looking flushed and uncomfortable. Keith walked up to her and carefully put his arms around her. She had on a short, loose shift dress and had her long hair up in a messy bun. All in all, she didn’t look too bad, considering she was down flat earlier. She said hi to everyone as we entered and walked away with Keith.

  “What’s it going to be tonight, honey?” Jesse asked. “I know, let’s start out with some of the penny machines; the
n when you get the hang of it, we’ll move up to five-cent machines,” he said, chuckling at me.

  “OK,” I said, taking a seat, with him hovering above me. He was patient as we tried to figure out the game. Sometimes I was up, and we cheered, and he’d hug me; other times I’d be down, and he’d encourage me. We moved around the room, trying out whatever machine suited my fancy. It was fun. I was ahead, winning a little here and there. Gambling wasn’t really my thing. I’d always worked so hard for my money, needing it to pay bills and buy groceries.

  We did have a good time as we stood around watching Scott and Shelly play the machines. Shelly was very lucky, and it was fun to watch them as they moved around the room, never staying at any one machine very long. We finally wound up at the card tables, where Jesse excelled. He played for a while, winning a few games, but he didn’t seem to be much into gambling tonight. Keith and Liza were walking around with us, apparently more interested in each other than in the actual games.

  “Let’s go on deck and enjoy the moonlight,” Jesse whispered.

  “I’d like that,” I said, relieved that I didn’t have to suffer any more losses tonight. We walked on deck with our arms wrapped around each other. Every night on our cruise was as beautiful as the next. The moon hung in the sky so big it didn’t look real. Soft, colorful hues surrounded it in red, orange, and yellow. Nothing I had ever seen in Pennsylvania was quite as beautiful as the night sky over the ocean. We stood at the railing of the ship, just taking in the breathtaking view, wrapped up in each other’s arms as the ship sailed toward the port of the Grand Cayman Islands.

  “Do you want to go ashore tomorrow?” Jesse asked.

  “Maybe for a while,” I said, mesmerized by the beautiful night.

  “John wants us back early to practice, so that should work out fine,” he said, kissing my cheek.

  “I don’t care what we do as long as we’re together,” I confessed.

  “You just took the words right out of my mouth, sweetheart. Let’s go below and get naked; I’m ready to have you all to myself,” Jesse said, taking my hand to lead me below. He had a mischievous smile on his face, making me giggle with anticipation as we descended the stairs to my room. I opened my door, and he followed me in, closing the door as he rubbed his hands together, excited about tonight’s carnal activities.