HANDSOME BUT DAMNED - Attraction

by Anisa Gjikdhima

  «You know you're right bitch?» I must have hit the mark, became all too real.

  «You know how it is. I had the best of the masters» I answer without looking away from him. Maybe I exaggerated but are still too angry to stop myself ...

  The machine brakes abruptly frightening me to death.

  «I've been an asshole, Yes, it's true. Things are different now. I figured out what I want and I'm trying to fix it» he says banging your hands on the wheel.

  «Let me get this straight. You wake up after a year and decide to overturn my life again?» I ask.

  «I was wrong to let you go away but I was afraid. There was the day that I haven't thought of you».

  Should I believe this confession? No thanks. Did not do and say anything to make me change my mind. I'll never forget that day.

  He didn't run, he didn't say anything. His silence was worth a thousand words. If he felt really anything, would do anything to make me change my mind.

  But, then, afraid of what? I didn't ask him to marry me.

  «I'm sorry. Time exceeded» I answer, using the same phrase when I left him.

  Behold I close me in my shell. Because of you I know that I will love no more. My heart belongs to him. I would love to jump into his arms, I would kiss her lips. This will not happen again, I will not allow it.

  Let us return to dead silence, the better. What else can I say? I don't know.

  «We arrived».

  I look out the window and I recognize the place. How could I forget?

  «Why are we here?» I question confused.

  «Here it all began» he responds.

  I see again the club does revive many memories. You're right, it all started here. If you hadn't provoked, none of this would have happened. Damn attraction.

  The club is completely changed. A more modern style that distinguishes it, also has a different name: "hell" Ironically, exactly how I feel right now: in hell.

  The ringing of the phone distracts me from my thoughts. I answer without looking at: «Ready?» On the other hand, I feel a slight laugh.

  «You always have a sexy voice» says the interlocutor. I smile like a child. Always the same.

  «Set, how are you?» I say raising somewhat the tone of voice. Yes, I want Erik feel good. I turn to look at her reaction, seems irritated. Oh, Yes, I have achieved my purpose.

  «All right. You want to go out tomorrow night?» asks Set.

  «That's fine. See you from me. Now I'm leaving you, I have a business dinner» I affirm treading in the last part. Yes, my dear, you got it right. Put your phone in your bag and I approach the entrance of the club. The Interior is great, totally different from then.

  «You like?» he question about the environment while making its way towards the table.

  «The owner of this place has good taste» I answer as I look around. He move the chair for me to sit at a table for two. A slight smile appears on her face, she looks pleased.

  «Why are you smiling?» I ask.

  «You've just made a compliment» he answers satisfied. «Did you buy this place?» I ask approaching to him. I shouldn't be surprised, he's crazy.

  «Five months ago was for sale, I couldn't let me get away. This place reminded me of you» he answer whispering the last sentence. And that's what strikes me.

  «Why the name Hell?» I ask huskily. My heart is beating wildly.

  «Why I feel to hell by 12 months».

  While talks have a look gloomy. I've never seen him like that. Apparently I'm not the only one who's sick. It's possible? I don't want to delude myself but I feel like I really missed him.

  «You have everything but you seem to be missing something. You don't know explain what you feel incomplete. Try to convince you that you will get better but instead gets worse every day. You have a vacuum that you can't fill in any way. Would you like to savor that feeling again of peace and happiness. Everything seems perfect but inwardly you feel in hell» I spoke in bursts.

  The words came out without thinking. Maybe I shouldn't have, now you know how I feel.

  Sigh heavily, leaning my back to the Chair. Her eyes fixed on me are back and we look at each other without speaking. Don't need words, our eyes speak for us. While tickle him your fingers on the table, her hand glides over mine. The caresses and then tighten. Don't I rebel, indeed. I let her fingers intertwine to mine. I know it's wrong. Basically we're not anymore. All this could just be a whim. Yet I can't stay away from. It seems that my subconscious circles. Well my heart searches for it.

  «I love you» he whispers coming close to my face. I'm definitely dreaming or I heard wrong, you cannot. I dreamed those words for so many months now I am hallucinating. I fixed him to see if these words are all real.

  «You got it right. I love you» he repeated rubbing the nose on mine. I think my heart has stopped beating. He said he loved me, twice. I can't believe it. I'm in shock. I feel so happy! Just a minute, something doesn't add up.

  «Why now?» I ask removing my hand from his.

  «I always love you but I was stupid enough to not realize that. When I saw you at the wedding I realized. You were the one that I waited for all my life, you were the one that made me feel alive». I am speechless. Wow! He loves me. It took a year to figure it out but she understood it. It will be the truth? How do I trust him? He let me go away, it never showed up in all these months. Although he said he always knew what I did, it never showed up.

  I would like to say something but I can't. Because I'm blocking it again? Maybe I could try to trust but I'm scared to hurt me more than before. He confessed his love for me, I can't sit here without saying anything. I'm in total panic.

  Chapter 23

  He's looking at me, he's waiting for me to say or do something. I wish I could but I can't. I'm mesmerized by his eyes. Damn, they are so beautiful and sexy. It's me or it's too hot in here? My legs are shaking and my throat is dry.

  «You okay?» He asks concerned.

  No, it's no good. Whenever you're near me, my body is out of control. And then you come with an "I love you" I dream for a long time. Are in a tizzy because of you.

  «Fine» I lie. I get a glass of water to my lips, I averting his eyes. I needed something cold, I'm on fire. I'm saved by the arrival of the waiter. I thank him mentally. I didn't know how to get out.

  During dinner we talk about this and that, until he makes me a truly unexpected question: «who's Set?»

  «A friend» I short cut. Set is a very good friend.

  «You go to bed with him?» he asked frowning. Almost I strangle me with food in my mouth. It's questions? But then who does he think he is? We are no longer together.

  «This should be of interest to you» I answer I folding my arms.

  «I asked you a question» he growling and he clasping hands to punch. He is not allowed to ask these questions.

  If you think he's back to usual, you are wrong. It doesn't work that way. Considering everything you put me through, I'm going to have some fun. He deserves it.

  «Sometimes» I answer by lifting the shoulders.

  Pity that Set is homosexual but you, my dear, you never will. A modicum of revenge. I can see the fire in his eyes. Jealous? All this does is to remember the good times.

  The rest of the dinner goes silent, neither says anything. Every now and then I look at it, seems thoughtfully. I bet he's thinking in sets.

  «Let's go. I want to take you somewhere,» he says rising suddenly. Unpredictable. Crowds. He is so. Some things never change. I don't know why but I'm swamped with guilt. Maybe I overdid it with the history of Set. He declared his love, was not the time for revenge. Maybe I should talk to him, tell him who's Set for me. I wish I confess that I never stopped loving him. By piling up!

  «Erik» I call him back. He don't turn around, he just keep walking towards the car.

  «You get in the car» he order with a coolness. I never liked his side. I decide to follow him.

  «I need to talk to you» I say .

 
; «First I want to take you somewhere, then you tell me anything you want» he answers without looking at me.

  The car hurtling at full speed. I don't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he's angry. His hands shaking on the steering wheel firmly, keeping their eyes fixed on the road. Maybe I overreacted, I shouldn't have. I raised a wall between us and I'm heading away on purpose.

  When the machine stops, I notice that we are in his garage.

  «Why did you bring me to your House?» I ask. I get no response. Silence. I get off the machine puffing. I don't like it when he does that. I follow him to the entrance of the apartment keeping some distance. I still don't understand why we're here.

  «You get in the house» he order me by turning the key to the door.

  When the door opens, it presents a unique setting. Surplus of a few strides, admiring the spectacle before me. The living room is filled with blue roses and candles. He knows that roses are my favorite flowers.

  Did all of this for me?

  I'm surprised, it's not the type to these things. Walk slowly around the room, touching some pink. No one has ever done anything like that. I must admit, has outdone himself.

  Are invaded by a thousand emotions. Confusion. Joy. Fear. I spent months hoping to forget him but he totally won my heart. I had decided to erase him from my life. Now he does all this and he says he loves me. Within hours he blew all my beliefs. My attention is drawn to a huge pictures on the wall, it is not a photo, is a picture of us. I'll never forget the day it was taken. We were at sea with Claire and Logan, we were happy and smiling.

  Claire said she did the photo to us, but I haven't seen it, I forgot. I look at the photo. How happy we were! I looked towards the sea smiling instead Erik looked at me.

  His gaze was fixed on me, a look of admiration, full of excitement. Oh my God! He loved me even then. That look says it all. The way he looked at me ... something unique. Now I know, I get. He has always loved me. I need him like I need to breathe.

  I turn to cross his eyes, he is leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and looking down. He seems resigned, destroyed. The hell with this.

  Without I'm thinking twice, I run towards him I'm hugging him. Seems confused but it counters my embrace.

  «You're a fool. you took a year to realize that you love me» I whisper.

  «Do you still love me?» he asks in a voice broken.

  «I never stopped loving you. Not even for a second» I confess. His body is detached from mine and finally our eyes meet. I don't want to wait you kiss me, this time I'm going to do it. I approach slowly to his lips caressing them slightly. His breathing is irregular and the hot air collides with my lips.

  «I love you» I say by joining my lips to his again.

  A passionate kiss, full of excitement. Our mouths are one thing. Without break away from me, holding me close to him, as he walks out of fear he escapes.

  My body goes up in flames. I am so excited, I wish with all my heart. With a quick gesture the extension the jacket, while his hands travel over me. I open with violence the shirt, blasting the buttons. To this my gesture her eyes light up.

  Got to the room, I lie down on the bed and moved over me. Like a lion with his prey. The clothes are flying everywhere, leaving us completely naked. Her lips kissing every centimeter of my skin. With each Kiss, my body reacts. Shows the mouth on my leaving me breathless. My nails are sliding on his back leaving a trail of scrapes.

  His tongue slips from my neck to go down to my sex. My back arched one of uttering a groan.

  Back on my face kissing me wildly. We are out of control.

  «You make love to me» I whisper while I'm drowning in his eyes.

  Everything's different now because we are both aware that we love. I've never loved anyone like I love him, I've never wanted anyone as he is. He just barged into my life suddenly, unexpectedly. It seemed only attraction.

  He is the Sun after a storm. The cure for my heart. I want it, as if it were my only reason for living.

  Chapter 24

  «What?» screams my best friend on the phone.

  «Yes, that's right. Erik and I are back together» I affirm.

  «This is fantastic news!» she exclaims exhilarated.

  «He said he loved me.»

  I say, I'm smiling like an idiot. I have yet to get used to this news.

  «I'm so happy for you. That jerk, he had to wake up earlier» she mumbles. On this she's right. But, as they say: "better late than never".

  Our conversation is interrupted by the doorbell.

  «Claire, I must leave. Talk to you later» I say closing the call. I go to the door, I'm hoping that he's him.

  «Set? » I wonder surprise.

  «Treasure.» he approaches by moving your hips worse than a woman.

  «You're not going to get into this state?» he asked frowning. He looks at me from head to toe with face in disgust. I completely forgot that we had to leave! I was taken from something else, I'd say. And what else! Set is an adorable boy, I made his acquaintance at Saks a few months ago.

  I was immersed in my own thoughts in the underwear as I watched it in passing a few intimate outfits and he worked there. From the start we were very well together, we started going out together and I found her very pleasant company.

  «Sorry, I forgot. I'm going to get ready for »I say sorry. I go to the room, taking the first dress I have on hand. Light makeup, and I go. When I am lightning. Tonight I don't care look perfect. I don't have to impress anyone. Wait ... Erik. Should I warn him I go out. Maybe passes and doesn't find me. I take the phone and send a quick message:

  "Tonight I'm not home. I'm dating Set. I talk to you later. I love you. "

  This morning we had breakfast together. I wasn't very careful but, if I remember correctly, he said that perhaps he passed.

  Unresponsive, maybe is still in Office.

  «Elisa, you want to move that ass hard? We're late» screams Set appearing in my room suddenly. Maybe it's better to move, I don't want the first woman I become hysterical.

  I arrived at the restaurant and we sit at a table near the window. Cute. I have to check if Erik responded. The display lights up, showing me five missed calls and three messages. All of Erik.

  "Baby, I'm very angry right now. I don't want you to go out with that guy. Clear? ".

  I lift up my eyes to heaven when I read the message, it becomes too overbearing sometimes. I would say that there was a hint of menace in what he wrote.

  "I went to your House but you weren't there. Tell me you're not with him ".

  Curse.

  "You tell me where you are."

  so he does not become a catastrophe. I'm about to type its number, when a hand rests on my shoulders, pinning me down by.

  «Hello, Darling,» he says stern. My beautiful boy has just materialized. Does not seem at all pleased. Can you blame him? He thinks I and we're sleeping together.

  «Hello» I answer unleashing the most innocent expression that I can do. His gaze moves on Set. It doesn't bode well.

  «Who the hell are you?» he question by indicating Set.

  «His soul mate. And you? »replies Set. No, please. This is no time for jokes. He doesn't know that Erik takes everything too seriously.

  «Set, he is Erik. My boyfriend» I say preventing a future murder. Set the team from head to toe, he likes. He shows.

  «Congratulations, honey, he's a hunk» comment. Erik's eyes moving over me, he seems confused.

  «Set prefers men ».

  «And you're a cutie» continue my friend.

  «Keep your hands off my boyfriend.»

  I winced and my friend laughed. Erik's hand shot, I making him sit beside me. I think he is still in shock. I'm knowing him, he expected the worst.

  «You made fun of. You deserve to be tortured for making me feel bad» he whispers mischievous. I know what he means by "torture". I don't care really, knows how to be evil.

  «How did you find me? In fact, don'
t tell me, I don't want to know.» His hand tightens even more on mine.

  «You know, I find you always.» Come to think of it, this is all too funny. He who seeks me all over town to find that the man with whom I exit is gay.

  The evening continues quietly, between a chat and the other. Erik seems to like the company of sets. I can only be happy.

  After greeting Set, I get in the car with Erik. He seems quiet. He took his eyes off my body all evening. I can say that I have done the same. I looked like a game of glances.

  «What are you doing this weekend?» asks.

  « I used to be with you » I say timidly. It's weird back to normal so quickly. I thought it would take some time. I was wrong.

  «It was just what I wanted to hear » comments.

  His hands cupped my face close. My eyes are lost in his. Approaching passed me right by her lips but he not kisses. He's doing a dirty game. I move my head forward and finally I can savor his mouth. I never tire of kissing him. Is something unique. An explosion of emotions. I missed all this, I've missed so much.

  «You sleep with me tonight» I whisper.

  «I'm not going to go anywhere else» he responds. I just hope that all this is not a dream. It sounds too good to be true. It never occurred to me to return with him. I couldn't wish for more but I also fear. I afraid to lose him again. Fear of suffering. I'm tired of being sick. I want to be happy forever. I hope this is the right time.

  No, I don't want to. I see Erik from afar but I can't reach it. Please, wait, don't go back. Plus I run and the more he recedes. Scream his name but not time. No, not again ...

  «Little, wake up» I swung open eyes finding Erik above me.

  «You are here. You are here» I repeat in a panic.

  «Shhh ... You calm down. It was just a nightmare. »

  «You don't go, You don't ever leave me» I say sobbing. I realize only now that I'm crying.