How Nina Got Her Fang Back: Accidental Quickie (Accidentally Paranormal Series Book 13)
Page 21
Once we had backed away a few feet, I spun around and grasped at where I thought the dress would be until I found some material. I was pretty sure I had the hem. Like Kelly, I made several furious jerks on the fabric to no avail. “Please! Come on. Change already!” Kelly had resorted to obscenities by then and Lindsey had joined in by grabbing and tugging invisible bits of material. A crowd was gathering and I realized that everyone must be under the assumption that we were a trio of deranged mimes trying to pluck an invisible crop of fruit from the nearly naked girl. “Gertie! If you can hear me, now would be an awesome time to lend a hand!”
“Gertie? Did you say Gertie? Gertie O’Leary?”
I continued my apparent mime act of picking cherries while I responded to the handsome stranger. “Yeah. Gertie. Are you her friend, Brad the fireman?”
“Yes! Oh, you must be her—” Brad was interrupted by the arrival of his apparent lunch date, a beautiful young woman.
Actually, she was stunningly beautiful, enough to be described as irritatingly beautiful. And that’s only because she has achieved a goal that you had been trying—and failing—to reach since middle school. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with how I look. There are just certain things you’d love to have, just once. For example, she had a deep bronze tan, just like Brad. As for my complexion, I’ve seen snowmen with better tans. Oh, I’ve tried those tanning salons. A few disappointing attempts were enough to make me avoid them now. With my blonde hair and pasty skin, I look like Queen Frostine going in. Before long, I’m screaming out of there looking like a scalded Oompa Loompa.
This goddess of the café had everything going for her. To best describe her, I can just say that she might as well have been peeled off of the same romance novel cover as Brad was.
The new arrival froze in place as she stared at the trio of clowns before her. Then she addressed Brad directly. “What the hell? Who are these women?” The tone of her voice, and the words that she chose, made it seem obvious enough that there was something between her and Brad. At least that was my assessment.
In an instant, Kelly and I finally got something right. Suddenly, Lindsey’s dress transformed to yellow with small white flowers. Fortunately, the romance cover couple wasn’t looking at us when the dress magically transformed. However, the small audience on the sidewalk certainly witnessed it. They began applauding at the apparently surprise twist that we performed for our magical mime show. We scurried away to the other side of the sidewalk café and found a quiet place to regroup.
Kelly wasted no time in ribbing Lindsey. “Nice choice with that lace thong for today, Lindsey. Got some pole dancing planned for later?”
“I was thinking about it, but you’re always hogging the pole—”
“Hey! Didn’t you two hear him? That’s Brad. Gertie’s Brad.” I had to take their focus away from the smartass comment slinging and bring it to what bothered me more than Lindsey’s slutware. Gertie’s Brad was having lunch with a beautiful young woman.
“Well, I don’t know if I would necessarily describe him as Gertie’s anymore.” Lindsey then nodded towards the couple that was now seated together.
“I don’t think it’s the end of the world. Gertie just met him. Big deal. Besides, it was your magic that brought him to her. Just the way it goes sometimes.” Kelly then shrugged her shoulders.
“I know. I know. Still, you know Gertie. She is absolutely the sweetest, most innocent person I have ever met. And you heard how she was bubbling over Brad. Apparently he said all of the right things to Gertie. She may not have any right to have any expectations about their meeting, but I can’t stand to see her at the hands of a skilled player. What happens when she comes back up here and they meet up? He will just bounce on over to Gertie for a few days and then bounce back over to the other girl—or girls. You know the type.”
“I suppose your right, Leigh.” Kelly looked over at Brad and shook her head. “Just look at him. Player. Damn slithery player. A guy that looks like that is just like a bumblebee buzzing around from one pretty flower to another, tasting every one that he can get his tongue on. Sorry, but it’s true.”
“Oh, I am looking at him.” Lindsey’s eyes were fixed on Brad. “Player? I don’t care. He can come over and play anytime. Besides, how can we be sure that the woman with him is another of his little flowers? It may be something completely innocent.”
I suddenly remembered a magazine article I had read. It was about how men talk during a conversation with a woman. A psychology study was completed by a Dr. Matilda Schmidt in Plattsburgh, NY a couple of years ago that found out some interesting facts. It reported that men’s voices changed according to their attraction or romantic involvement with the other party. “I know! I just remembered something I read about. There is one sure way to tell. Listen to how he talks to her. See if we can notice whether he changes the pitch of his voice from how he normally speaks. Whenever a guy is interested in a girl—you know, really trying to charm a girl, his voice supposedly changes. I’m not sure if I can quite describe it.”
Kelly put her hands on her hips and looked at me in disbelief. “Listen, they didn’t need to do a damn study on that. Most guys turn into jackasses around any of three things—big boobs, round asses, and long legs. So of course they talk like idiots. Why don’t we just listen to Brad talk to her for a couple of minutes? Trust me, I’ll be able to tell.”
We all know what Kelly was talking about. Now, not every guy acts like that, thankfully, but there are more than enough of them. For example, you’re out to dinner with a guy and it just so happens the waitress is, admittedly, kind of cute. Suddenly your date seems to be talking like a fool. He’s not asking about the wine list, he’s trying to be smooth—asking about her day, or her interesting name. No, he’s not outright hitting on her, but that subtle flirting. And that tone of voice, my God, it’s like he’s talking to a puppy. For me, that is the end of the date. That kind of cuteness I can do without. I’ve seen married men out with their wives act like that and I always feel bad for the women involved. The wife is dying of embarrassment while she fantasizes about picking up a fork and jabbing him in the neck. The cute waitress, this new shiny object that has garnered the man’s lustful attention, is holding herself back from slapping the daylights out of him. Unfortunately, the law frowns on those sorts of things, despite the deep satisfaction that one would gain.
Lindsey and I encouraged Kelly to covertly saunter close to Brad and his date. After a few minutes of listening to their conversation, she returned with her opinion of what was happening. “Well, I know for sure that Brad is all over that girl. You should have heard the way he is talking to her. It’s so sappy, really just over the top. And she just eats it up with a big stupid smile on her face. I bet that’s the same act he pulled on Gertie. The fact that he brought a cat in a carrier, as a prop, is downright creepy. I bet the next time he sees Gertie, he’ll be dragging along that same poor cat.”
Our opinions about Brad were affirmed and, for the moment, we made no more mention of him. He really wasn’t worth wasting our afternoon on.
~
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Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Excerpt
How Nina Got Her Fang Back
Blurb
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Epilogue
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Note from Dakota Cassidy
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Dakota recommends… Melanie James
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Dakota Cassidy, How Nina Got Her Fang Back: Accidental Quickie (Accidentally Paranormal Series Book 13)