Again, we pretended to be happy and carefree as the waiter set our food in front of us. I’d done the same thing with Sam. It was just part of being so well known in the area. And if I had to hide every second that I was outside the house for fear of the media, I shouldn’t have had to do it at home as well.
“I’m from a different time,” Dad reasoned. It wasn’t the first time he’d used that argument. “I’m old fashioned. Traditional.”
“Whose traditions? Because in my generation, our tradition is fighting for equality. Our tradition is letting people choose what they want to do.” I thought about how Gus and the cowboys had treated me upon my arrival. “You set the example. If you don’t see a problem, then nothing ever changes.”
Dad was silent for nearly a full minute. “Perhaps I don’t see how the world has changed. You know that I don’t care much for leaving Texas or being involved in every little thing. I guess I should listen when you tell me that things aren’t the way they used to be.”
“But you sound disappointed. Isn’t that a positive, Dad? If you don’t stick up for change, then you’re saying you’re okay with how everything has always been.” It wasn’t just women, either. There were still some people who wouldn’t drink at Stan’s bar because it was owned by a Black family. “Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? To have us telling your grandkids not to listen to everything you say because you hurt people?”
Dad speared a chunk of pancake and chewed it, his fork tracing swirls in the syrup. “No, it isn’t. But I’m old, Sky. What the hell can I do now?”
“I have a couple of ideas.”
Instead of piecing things together on my own, I started meeting with Dad in the library to have him teach me the specifics. It was always going to be easier hearing it directly from the person who used to do the same. Plus, it gave us the chance to spend more time together with a buffer between us.
There were a few things I wanted to clear up now that I had more autonomy to make decisions. For one, I wanted to open a dialogue with the reservation to discuss returning the disputed land or at least allow the tribe to assess it further. There was no reason we couldn’t give up a dozen acres if it turned out to be part of a burial ground. “They helped us find Crystal even though we’ve never given them the time of day,” I reminded Dad.
“I suppose we could have a meeting about it. I’m not committing to anything yet.”
I handed him a list of names and contacts out on the reservation. I’d added Jessie’s name in pen at the bottom. She wasn’t a leader, but she’d earned some goodwill from the Black Gold Creek cowboys.
“You certainly pay more attention than Daniel or Zane ever did,” Dad muttered after reviewing my data.
He wasn’t the type to flatter just for the sake of it, so I took it as a genuine compliment. “They never really wanted to stay on the ranch,” I pointed out. “I can understand why they wouldn’t want to spend time learning all about it for nothing.”
“I never even considered doing anything else,” Dad said. “I grew up here. This was all I knew. And I was expected to take over no matter what.”
It had never occurred to me before that Dad was an only child. While it meant that he’d inherited everything without a problem, it also limited his options to do anything else without passing the family business off to a distant relative. “It didn’t bother you that you couldn’t pick what you wanted to be?”
He shook his head. “This was all I wanted. Some of us are just born for it, I suppose. Even… even the Blythe boy. He’s got a love for ranching if he’s willing to turn his back on Wild Brook to work for pennies somewhere else.”
“His name is Will,” I whispered gently.
“Will.”
It was one of the only times in my life I’d ever heard my father utter Will’s proper name. There was no animosity in it, either. There certainly wasn’t any fondness, but it was progress. Maybe.
“I heard that he moved away,” Dad volunteered, eyeing me sidelong. “It appears that you were correct. He really must not be able to stand his father. It takes a lot to walk away from a fortune like that.” He smiled minutely, just a tug at the corner of his lips. “I’d prefer not to end up in the same category as Jacob Blythe.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, you won’t. We don’t always get along, but you’re nothing like him.” After a pause, I added, “And neither is Will. I wish you could have seen that.”
Dad shuffled some papers and turned to the next set of spreadsheets. “I need time.”
“Okay.” I knew from experience that pushing wouldn’t get anywhere. I’d have better luck trying to move the mountains outside. “I just want you to know that it was never some conspiracy to give the ranch away to your enemies. I love Will. I loved him enough that his family didn’t matter. I know that the Blythes killed your uncle, but that wasn’t Will.”
I didn’t go into more detail than that. It wasn’t my place to tell the story of the violence that Will and his siblings had faced. I suspected that Dad knew more than let on. If he needed time to come to terms with my heart, then I would wait.
It wasn’t like it mattered anymore. Will had gone to Wyoming.
The only thing I could do now was try to manage the pain of losing him. I’d survived this once before; I could do it again. This time, at least, one of us had managed to escape. As long as Will was out there happy and enjoying his life, that was all that mattered. I would just have to love him enough to let him go.
Chapter 26
Despite my determination to keep my mind off Will as much as possible, the actual application of the idea proved difficult. I kept seeing him in daily life, in the way my horse would move or a joke that someone made. I’d see a long-haired cowboy in the distance and imagine that it was Will returning to sweep me off my feet.
It helped to have Crystal back at work. Remy seemed to sense that I was struggling and assigned Crystal as my helper whenever possible. That, and he was still terrified that Crystal would have a complication from one of her surgeries.
“I’m going to start putting rocks in my pocket,” she proclaimed one afternoon. “Every time you make that sad broken heart face, I’m going to hit you straight in the forehead with a pebble.”
“I’ve got a hard head. And if I remember gym class correctly, you can’t throw to save your life.” I winced internally at the phrasing, but if it bothered her, she didn’t show it.
“I’ll just have to carry a whole lot of pebbles, then. You broke up. Thinking about it isn’t going to change that.”
I patted my saddlebag, searching for a way to change the subject. “Left or right?” I asked at the next junction. We were riding from barn to barn to check inventory levels of common medications. They were stored in a special case that kept the humidity and temperature at the proper levels, but out of sight often meant out of mind. “Can you believe that no one’s checked this stuff for two years?”
“Have you met our vet?” Crystal snorted. “He’s good for the cattle, but he doesn’t know jack about horses. At least not enough.”
A nicer person would have defended our vet, a lifelong employee who’d been fiercely loyal to Dad ever since he paid for veterinary school, but Crystal’s assessment wasn’t wrong. We often had to consult the clinic in town for anything serious involving one of the horses.
We dismounted by one of the emptiest barns, a spare that we used for overflow if there was an issue or we had guests who wanted to ride. It was one of the few within walking distance of the main house. I’d spent a lot of time here as a kid, hiding in the tack room under the pretense of scrubbing saddles or mixing fly spray. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen this place,” I remarked as I ran my fingers over the stall doors.
“Yeah, me, too. Good memories.”
We headed through the empty feed room and into the storage area. “Everything in here is expired,” I muttered, shoving random tubes of paste and bottles of liquid into my pockets. “We’re going to have one he
ck of a medical supply bill. How did no one catch this?”
Crystal found a roll of trash bags and shook one open for me to fill. “Honestly, from what my daddy tells me, things haven’t been great for a while. A lot of these cowpokes don’t want to bother anybody with all that’s been going on.”
“Because of my father’s health?”
She nodded. “That’s why my daddy started training Gus and Cooper to do more. And me, I guess, but I don’t want anything to do with all that math.”
“You and me both.” Even with specialty software, calculating some of our expenses could be an absolute nightmare. Plus, Dad had a bad habit of scribbling a few numbers onto a napkin and stuffing it into his pocket, then losing it before anyone could digitize it.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” she assured me as we picked up some of the miscellaneous garbage and set the bag out front for the trash crew.
“It’s not running the ranch that worries me,” I sighed, making a split-second decision on whether I was annoying her with my constant hand wringing. “I can’t stop thinking about Will.”
Crystal rolled her eyes so hard that I couldn’t even see her irises. “I was rooting for you. I wanted you to be together. That was before he up and left for Wyoming, though. Girl, that ship has sailed.”
“Have you talked to him?” It was such an unfair question, but I couldn’t resist asking. “He hasn’t answered any of my texts.” They were innocent, just making sure that he’d arrived safely. I couldn’t tell if it was cruel to ignore me or if he was saving me from myself.
Crystal swung into her saddle. “I don’t think it’s healthy for me to be telling you all about his business. And I don’t want to get stuck in the middle.”
I missed my stirrup three times, too preoccupied with Will to even focus on something as simple as putting my foot in the right spot. I finally managed it and still had to grab onto the horn to avoid slipping off. “You’re right. I’m sorry for asking.”
“I’ll tell him that you asked about him,” Crystal said. “But fair warning that he’s trying to start over. I’m not sure if he can do that and still be friends with you. That could change after a while. Maybe he’ll reach out.”
“I don’t know if we can be friends. How am I supposed to separate all of my feelings?”
“Sam managed it.”
That was only partly true. “Yeah, but I was never with Sam. He says that he loves me, and I believe him, but I think there’s levels of love. And part of the way that Sam loves me is just in his head.”
Crystal steered us onto the main ranch road, keeping her gelding far off in the grass to give my horse space to stay clear of any vehicle traffic. “Do you want some tough love?”
“Always.”
“Maybe part of the way you love Will is in your head, too. You fell in love when we were in high school. And besides a night or two of some bow chicka wow wow, you haven’t been with him in a real relationship as an adult.”
I replayed all of our time together in my mind. It wasn’t all physical. We’d kept our love alive the whole time I was in Boston and New York. “We never stopped loving each other. That should count for something.”
“It does,” Crystal agreed. “But you don’t know Will as well as you think. A lot happened after you left, Sky. A lot. He changed, and not always for the better.”
We were finished with our inventory and heading in, so I looped around and made up a trail off the side of the road to give us more time to talk. “What do you mean?”
“He felt trapped. He was doing anything he could to keep his father happy. And then finally, it was like he woke up. He moved out, got a new job. Started talking to us more.” Crystal gave me an apologetic look, her features partially obscured by the brim of her hat. “Then you came home, and he was right back to doubting everything.”
“I didn’t mean to.” In fact, if Dad hadn’t called me, I would still be in New York, probably nursing a hangover and having lunch with Maggie. If I pulled that string, I could see so many possible outcomes, some worse than this reality and some better. Yet even in the best of them, the odds of getting Will and the ranch were slim.
“I know you didn’t do it on purpose,” Crystal said. “And seriously, I wanted you to be together. But you’re going to make yourself sick dwelling like that.”
“I don’t know how to stop. There’s this tiny little voice that keeps saying he might change his mind.”
“Did you tell him how you feel?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s all you can do. If he knows, he knows.”
I gasped as an idea struck me. “I just thought of something.”
Crystal leaned forward in her saddle and groaned into her horse’s mane. “Why do I feel like this is going to end badly?”
I clicked my tongue at her. “No faith in me at all. Come on. I’ve pulled off bigger stunts than this. After all, I am the boss now.”
Crystal scoffed. “Yeah, and so humble, too!”
When I got back to the house, I thought about when I’d tried to show Dad that he’d missed so many milestones in my life. I’d let go of my reservations and showed him my vulnerable side. And now, even though our relationship was far from warm and fuzzy, we were on the mend.
If I could repair a rift that wide, then maybe it didn’t need to be hopeless with Will. I started with a picture of me in Boston, my eyes still red from crying. I made the caption as simple as I could: Will, I lost you once. I don’t want to lose you again. But I respect what you need to be happy in your life. If you don’t want to hear from me again, tell me and I’ll stop.
He didn’t reply, so I followed up that evening with a picture of my freshman dorm room, the floor strewn with clothes and moving boxes. Is this what your new place looks like right now? I remember feeling like Boston could never be home without you.
And in the morning, he still hadn’t responded. I sent a picture of the dining hall on campus, grateful that I was a bit of a digital hoarder and had meticulously documented so many moments. It was always too loud for me in the dining hall. I ate outside with a cup of coffee, just like we used to do before school. A minute later, I added, I don’t want to be creepy or a bother. Tell me if you want me to go away.
I followed the same routine every morning and every night, beginning and ending my day with Will Blythe. It was healing to share the parts of my life that he’d missed. It made me feel like he knew the whole me, the flawed young woman who’d gotten lost and taken the scenic route on too many journeys.
“You’re doing what?” Stan asked as I snapped our picture with Crystal and Meg stuffed into the background. He glowered at Crystal. “I thought you told me you talked some sense into this one.”
Crystal chugged the remnants of her beer. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it forget the cute cowboy who also happens to be its family’s mortal enemy.” She paused. “That’s how the saying goes, right?”
I smacked her arm, laughing. “Eli drove us here. I will abandon you drunk in this bar.”
Stan waved a bar towel at me. “Hollow threat, my friend. You know she can sleep on the couch in my office. Lord knows there’s always someone drunk as a skunk passed out back there.” He hesitated for a moment, leaning closer. “Why are you still trying to get Will to talk to you?”
“I’m not trying to get him to talk to me. I’m just… talking to him. There’s a difference.”
Stan nudged his wife. “You hearing this? Will Blythe is probably at the police station getting a restraining order.”
Meg poured me another scotch. “Don’t listen to him.”
“Oh, we never do,” Crystal interjected. “Plus, Sky’s been telling Will to say something if he wants her to stop texting. He hasn’t yet.”
Stan wasn’t convinced. “What if he changed his phone number and you’re blowing up some poor old lady somewhere with all of that mushiness?”
“I doubt he’s changed his number.” Will wasn’t a fan of chan
ge in general, which I guess made it even more grave that he moved all the way to Wyoming. “I’m pretty sure he’s still wearing socks from middle school.”
That earned me a laugh, but I could still see the concern in Stan’s features. He knitted his brows together. “I just don’t want to see you get stuck in a rut. And texting him every day isn’t moving on.” He surveyed the half-empty bar. “Are you sure I can’t set you up with someone? Maybe going out on a date would snap you out of it.”
“She’s been in love with this guy for almost twenty years,” Meg deadpanned. “She can’t just forget him overnight!”
Crystal nodded along. “And if he hasn’t told her to stop yet, then maybe he’s listening. This isn’t just some random cowpoke. You know how Will feels about her.”
It was heartening that Meg, who hadn’t even grown up with us, was on my side. She swatted Stan on the shoulder. “I swear, Stan, you don’t know anything about romance. You are so lucky I married you.”
“Well,” Stan said, straightening to answer a call from farther down the bar, “since this is obviously an ambush, I’ll be going to help that nice gentleman over there.”
Meanwhile, I texted Will the latest picture, continuing my recollection of our time apart. Whenever I visited for the holidays, I always asked about you. I was excited to see Crystal and Stan and the rest of the old gang, but it never felt the same without you there.
“What are you even saying to him?” Crystal asked, her neck and chin rigid as she averted her eyes from my screen. “The suspense is killing me.”
“I’m just catching him up on all the things he missed. You made me think the other day that there’s so much we don’t know about each other. Maybe filling in the blanks isn’t such a bad idea.”
“What happens when you run out of stuff?”
I shrugged. In New York, I’d been an entirely different person. If Maggie or my other friends came to visit, they’d be floored. I wanted Will to see that version of me, too—the hotshot attorney who wasn’t afraid to gamble when my back was against the wall. “When I run out, I guess I’ll stop. But at least I’ll know that he’s choosing a new life over the real me, not some memory from when we were kids.”
The Cowboy's Promise: Love Triangle Billionaire Romance (The Wentworth Cowboy Billionaire Series) Page 22
