Essence of Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  Michelle smiled sweetly. “Did you think you and Jordan had a monopoly on that night? Sorry to disappoint you but I figured you shouldn’t be the only one who got to bump the headboard against the walls.”

  Dominique rubbed her forehead, feeling a gigantic headache coming on. “And that was the only time?”

  “The one and only. But I’ve been thinking.”

  Dominique held up her hand. “No, please don’t think. For you it’s too dangerous.”

  Michelle waved such nonsense away. “No, really. I think I might go with him on that cruise but only if he travels some place with me that I want to go.”

  Dominique was almost too afraid to ask but decided to do so anyway. “And where do you want to go?”

  Michelle smiled over at her sister and said. “To that nudist camp. Where else?”

  ***

  Later that night Michelle crawled beneath the covers after placing the mystery novel she’d been reading aside. Her thoughts drifted from the characters in the book to the conversation she’d had with Dominique at lunch. She hadn’t been teasing Dominique about her curiosity in visiting a nudist camp. However, as far as asking Royce to go to one with her, now that was really the joke. She could imagine the look on his face if she were to suggest such a thing. But then it probably would be no different than the look that had been on hers when he’d asked her to go with him on that cruise. He had to have been teasing since there was no way he could have assumed she would even consider the idea.

  But why not?

  Five nights to indulge in hot, wild and unbridled sex out on the open seas. She knew first hand what kind of lover Royce was. He had several interesting notions when it came to sex and had convinced her of the value of each and every one of them that night. Even to this day she was still trying to figure out how one man could be so doggone sensuous and so spellbindingly erotic.

  She couldn’t help but smile at how shocked Dominique had gotten upon finding out that she and Royce had slept together. Dominique was a die-hard romantic and with Jordan she was living the dream and wanted everyone to live the dream right along with her.

  Michelle had told her sister countless times that true love didn’t exist for her and she didn’t intend to give her heart to any man. Giving up your heart meant giving up your control. She liked not having to answer to anyone.

  But more importantly, she also liked living on the edge, indulging on the wild side when it suited her fancy. Steady boyfriends tended to get boring after a while. She liked having honest to goodness fun with a guy she could enjoy being with.

  So why wasn’t she considering Royce’s offer? What was keeping her from going on that cruise with him?

  She wanted to believe that only opposites attracted and since she and Royce were both strong-willed individuals, there was no way they could be physically attracted to each other; and that one night was a fluke. But the more she’d been around him, the more she’d tried to avoid him; and the more she endured memories of that night, she knew that theory was not true.

  That conclusion made her believe that if given the chance Royce would be the one man who could interfere with her independent thinking. The one man who could make her think that being strong and assertive weren’t a good thing. The one man who wasn’t compliant and predictable.

  He would be the one man who could make her confront her issues.

  And God knows she had a lot of them. Not as many as she use to have since she and Marcus had split. In the inner depths of her being, she knew that although she came across as being this strong, over-confident person, she had discovered after sleeping with Royce that like most women she had liked feeling secured, protected and cherished. That night he had done something no other man had done.

  He had been strong enough to handle her.

  And that had shaken her to the core because before Royce she thought such a man did not exist. She had been swamped with numerous emotions that night and instead of confronting those emotions she had begun avoiding them, inwardly harboring the belief that if she let Royce get close again that she could lose herself in his arms once more. She could be reduced to no more than a weak-minded female who could lose control of her life.

  But then her reaction to Royce today made her realize that two years was long enough to run, hide and retreat from any man, and she knew one way to overcome your fear of anything was to confront it head on. Maybe that’s what she had to do with Royce.

  She stared up at the ceiling wondering why she hadn’t thought of this before. Why had she taken the coward’s way out instead of taking a stand as a woman who could handle whatever came her way?

  A woman who could handle Royce Parker.

  Four

  “Mr. Parker, there is someone here to see you.”

  Royce looked up from the huge law book he’d been reading and pressed the intercom button to respond to his secretary. “Who is it, Marla?”

  “Ms. Michelle Kincaid.”

  He arched an eyebrow. Why would Michelle be paying him a visit? He had seen her the earlier part of the week, and although he hadn’t decided as to whether or not he would be taking that cruise to Canada, he wouldn’t think that would warrant her coming to his office. There was only one way to find out why she was there. “Please send her in, Marla.”

  He shoved the law book aside as he stood up, and barely had time to roll down his shirt sleeves when she opened the door and walked in. The moment their eyes connected he knew he was in trouble. Or was he?

  She was nervously chewing on her lower lip and he couldn’t help but wonder what that meant. A nervous Michelle? Heck, this ought to be interesting.

  Inhaling deeply, he stepped around his desk. “Michelle, this is a surprise.”

  She flashed him a grin that he wasn’t certain was all that sincere. In fact it looked a little cunning to him. “I dropped in on Jordan and before leaving I thought I’d stop by and say hello,” she said brightly, as if she was in a rather good mood.

  He nodded. She had dropped by to see Jordan several times over the past two years and hadn’t felt inclined to pop her head inside his door. He knew something was up with her and figured he would soon find out what.

  “That was nice of you,” he said, trying to ignore the desire that was stirring in his stomach as his eyes raked over her up and down. She liked wearing skirts, the short kind. And he liked seeing her in them. She had a gorgeous pair of legs.

  “I’m a nice person,” she said, reclaiming his attention.

  Although he wouldn’t go so far as to say so, he felt what she’d just said was questionable. “Would you like to sit a while?”

  “No, but I was wondering if you’ve decided on that cruise yet?”

  He leaned back against the edge of his desk. “I wasn’t aware you needed to know right away.”

  “I don’t. I was just wondering.”

  “Well, then, no, I haven’t decided on anything. I should make a decision by the end of the week.”

  “All right.” She didn’t say anything for a second and then. “That’s all I wanted to know.”

  He held her gaze. “You sure?”

  “Yes.”

  She was about to turn to open the door when he reached out and grabbed her arm, and pulled her to him. She narrowed her eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Giving you what you really came for.”

  “I didn’t come for anything.”

  He felt it was pointless to argue, so he simply lowered his mouth to hers.

  ***

  Michelle thought of resisting him all of two seconds and then she parted her lips. The moment she did so, his tongue entered her mouth with fevered intensity to the point she immediately felt weak in the knees.

  Royce was an expert kisser and he always kissed her with a hunger that made her as greedy for him as he was for her, making every part of her body ache. Even now, her breasts felt swollen pressed against his chest and the area between her thighs that was cradling his firm erection
felt achy. She felt herself moving closer to him, fitting her petite body to his muscular frame. Okay, this wasn’t going exactly like she’d planned but she was still in control. Right?

  As if on cue he deepened the kiss to prove just how wrong she was. At least he hadn’t tried getting her on his desk and hadn’t backed her against the wall. Instead, he seemed satisfied with standing there and going at her mouth like a starving man. And she was standing there and letting him.

  He pulled back from her mouth to shower kisses along her lips and to whisper a single word. “Mine.”

  She might have been caught up in the moment, but there was no way she hadn’t heard what he’d said. A sense of panic flashed through her, but before she could react in any way, his mouth was back and his tongue captured hers in another drugging kiss.

  Her response was as it had been before, no resistance, complete surrender. Instinctively she moved closer into his arms, her mouth a willing partner in their mating game. Savoring all she could while at the same time giving more of herself than she rightly should.

  “Mr. Parker, you asked that I remind you of your meeting today at three.”

  Royce’s secretary’s voice over the intercom had them separating quickly. He reached out and caught Michelle before she lost her balance and fell, and he didn’t let go as he leaned back and pressed a button to respond to his secretary. “Thanks for the reminder, Marla. I’ll be leaving shortly.”

  He then turned his attention back to Michelle. “What are you doing tonight?” he asked her, wondering if she knew she’d been moaning in his arms, and thinking how much he liked the sound.

  “It’s Thursday. Our family dinner is always Thursday night.”

  He nodded. “That’s right.” That much he knew was true from Jordan. It was tradition that the Kincaids get together for dinner every Thursday at her grandparents’ house. “What about tomorrow night?” he then asked.

  “I’m going out. I always go out on Friday night,” she stated.

  He could believe that, but this time he wanted to go with her. He told himself the only reason for wanting to do so was because he didn’t have anything else to do and not that funny feeling in his gut that always showed up when she was around. “I’d like to go with you.”

  Michelle opened her mouth to say something, and then wavered, reasoning that his request was falling nicely in with her plans. The key was for her not to retreat and go into hiding like before. Evidently he was still in her system and she knew of only one way to get him out once and for all while remaining in control. “You would like to go with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you don’t know where I’m going,” she pointed out.

  He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I need to try and get you to change your mind about going on that cruise with me.”

  Of course he could try. “Do you?”

  He smiled. “Yes.”

  Michelle wasn’t sure whose eyes were more challenging. His or hers. “Okay,” she said, giving in, although it wasn’t much effort, but he didn’t have to know it. “You can go but I hang out late on Friday nights.”

  He chuckled. “I’m a big guy and can take it. I usually hang out late on Friday nights myself, so I see no reason why we can’t hang out together.

  With her free hand she reached up and patted his chin. “I expect you to behave yourself.”

  He gave her a crooked smile. “Sweetheart, you are definitely asking a lot.”

  “Doesn’t matter as long as you comply.” She then recalled what he’d said while kissing her and thought it best to set the record straight. “And another thing, I am not yours.”

  He held her gaze. “Not completely, but your lips are mine. Be forewarned I’m starting at the lips and working my way down. In the end I’m claiming all of you.”

  “I have news for you, Big Guy. No man claims me, I claim them.” Turning she sauntered off toward the door and to his way of thinking, she deliberately swayed her hips in the process.

  “Michelle?”

  She turned back around. “What?”

  His lips quirked into another smile when he said, “In the end we will claim each other. Like we did before.”

  Deciding not to waste her time arguing with him, she opened the door and walked out of his office.

  ***

  “You’re late.”

  Michelle made a face at her sister and instead of responding she reached for her nephew who’d smiled like he was happy to see her. “I’m here. Busy day.”

  Dominique studied her sister as they stood in the middle of her grandparents’ foyer, allowing Michelle time to fawn over her nephew before saying. “Not too busy to drop by the office to see Royce.”

  Michelle glanced over Sawyer’s head and met Dominique’s gaze. “I stopped by the office to see Jordan.”

  Dominique raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Tell that to someone else. I’m your sister. I know you, which means I know better. Royce is smart and knows better as well. He probably saw through your scheme and knows you’re up to something.”

  An innocent look shone in Michelle’s features. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “About you and that crazy idea to visit a nudist camp.”

  A smirk appeared on Michelle’s face. To be quite honest she had put the nudist camp out her mind, but now that Dominique had brought it back up… “What’s the matter, Judge Prescott? Are you worried the camp will get raided and your sister will get hauled off in her birthday suit and make national news? Appear on CNN?”

  Dominique frowned. “That’s not funny.”

  Michelle rolled her eyes. “Honestly, it is. You of all people know I hate being restricted by clothes. The less the better.”

  “Walking around naked in your own house is one thing Michelle, to mingle out in the open with other naked people is another.”

  “Umm, not necessarily. Just think. When a man shows interest in me while I’m there, I won’t have to wonder what he’s packing. I’ll know since it will be there, right before my eyes in full view.”

  Dominique opened her mouth to respond to Michelle’s outlandish comment when she heard footsteps behind them.

  “Oh, there you are, Michelle. We were beginning to worry about you. You’re never late.”

  Michelle handed the baby back to Dominique so she could give her grandmother a proper hug. “Sorry, Gramma, I got detained.” There was no way she would tell anyone that after leaving Royce’s office she had gone shopping to purchase the perfect outfit for tomorrow night. Royce was so certain he could dominate her again, and she was just as certain that he couldn’t. In fact she was going to make sure he didn’t while making him sweat.

  “Well, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

  “Thank you, Gramma.”

  Michelle smiled over at her sister, met her gaze and ignoring the “we’re not through talking yet” look, she said. “I’m starving and can’t wait to eat.”

  “Michelle, there’s something I need to tell you,” Dominique said quickly.

  “Not now, Dom, I’m starving,” she said rushing quickly toward the living room where she heard the sound of her grandfather’s laughter.

  When Michelle stepped into the living room she stopped dead in her tracks when her gaze collided with Royce’s. She inhaled deeply, fought for air sharply, while at the same time trying to put on an outward show of absolute composure in front of everyone when she said. “This is a pleasant surprise, Royce. What are you doing here?”

  Five

  Royce stood and Michelle couldn’t stop her eyes from following the movement of his body, fluid, at ease and totally masculine. The woman in her definitely appreciated such a well-built body in a pair of well-worn jeans and polo shirt. And she didn’t miss the complimentary glance he gave to what she was wearing, a pair of shorts and a pull over v-neck top.

  “Your grandmother invited me,” he said smiling at her. “I ran into her at the grocery store.”

  “And t
he poor boy was buying one of those microwave dinners of all things. Can you imagine such a thing?” her grandmother asked.

  Michelle didn’t say anything. Yes, she could imagine it and to be quite honest, she really didn’t care what his dinner meal would have been before the invitation. She just wished someone had prepared her.

  “I know this is a family affair, so I hope you don’t mind me being here,” he said huskily.

  She was about to open her mouth and tell him that she did mind when her grandfather spoke up and said. “Of course Michelle doesn’t mind you being here. It’s a free meal for her, too. She never learned how to cook and probably has just as many of these microwave dinners in her freezer that you have in yours.”

  Michelle rolled her eyes before glancing over at her grandfather. “Thanks Grampa for letting Royce in on the family secret.”

  Her grandfather who had resumed looking at the television only snorted.

  Michelle turned her attention back to Royce. “I don’t mind you being here. Like Grampa said, tonight’s a free for all.”

  “Thanks.” Royce sat back down and Michelle walked over to Dominique to take the baby out of her hands, thinking fine, she would play with her nephew and ignore Royce. Sitting on the floor Indian style, she began playing with Sawyer, deciding it wasn’t her job to keep Royce company. He was her grandparent’s guest and not hers.

  Moments later she couldn’t resist glancing over her shoulder at him to find that Royce, Jordan, her father and grandfather had crowded around the big-screen television watching the evening news. He looked too comfortable with her family to suit her. Since he was Jordan’s best friend he occasionally showed up at family functions, but that was during the time they’d been trying to ignore each other; something she doubted her family had picked up on. All except for Jordan and Dominique.

  “Dinner’s ready,” Dominique called out, sticking her head out the kitchen door.

  Jordan walked over to get his son and Royce reached out his hand to assist her off the floor. She first looked at his hand and then glanced up at him. The instant their eyes met desire flooded through her, bathed her pelvic area and caused heat to consume her bloodstream. She didn’t like her physical reaction to him and when she placed her hand in his the heat intensified from the touch. From the way he was looking at her she had a feeling he knew she was having some kind of sexual moment.