Essence of Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  Why now and why this woman?

  An emotion flared deep inside of him as he moved back over toward her and leaned down and kissed her. The moment their lips joined he felt complete. Totally resigned.

  He eased his body over hers and held her gaze. She was the only woman capable of feeding his desire to this extent. Make him lose control. The only woman he had to make his. Irrevocably. And whatever it took, he would make her feel the same way. She already desired him as much as he desired her, the look in her eyes proved that. But there was something else he now wanted more than anything. Her love. Just like he could admit that she had his.

  He knew to accomplish that task meant stripping away a lot of her insecurities; especially those regarding men she felt would try and dominate her, change her into something she could never be. Take away her strength. He had to prove to her that with any relationship strength was shared. With them it would always be that way. Neither would dominate. They would use their strengths together.

  He felt the heat of her skin pressed intimately to his and thought he could explode just from being this close to her, from breathing in her scent. But knew he wanted to be inside of her when it happened. He wanted to feel her clenching him tight and milking him for all it was worth. And he would make it worth her while. All night long. He would make love to her, somehow break through her resolve and hope that eventually at some point in the near future he would get through to her. More than anything, he would do whatever he could to convince her to go on the cruise with him.

  Starting now.

  Holding both of her hands in his, he raised them above her head before leaning down and kissing her as he slowly sank his body into hers, penetrating deep, stretching her to the limits. She accommodated him by stretching her thighs wider, then taking her legs and wrapping them around his waist. A guttural sound escaped him when he came to the hilt, knowing he was buried deep inside of her. Pure joy flooded his soul and for the first time he knew how it felt for a man to be inside a woman he loved. And he also understood why he had felt those sensations deep in his gut whenever she was around and why he’d become a jealous man.

  “Hold on, sweetheart, I’m about to give you the ride of your life,” he said, still holding her gaze.

  “Just wait until it’s my turn,” she countered.

  He couldn’t help but chuckle. His woman just had to get the last word in. And she was his woman, he thought. And he knew that she would deliver on her threat.

  “I can’t wait,” he whispered as he began moving the lower part of his body, thrusting in and out of her, over and over again.

  Gazing down he watched her expression the same way she was watching his. He would pull out of her. Almost. Then push back in. Completely. She clenched her inner muscles, tried holding him captive but it was no use. He was set on a sensual path that would not be denied. As straight and narrow a path as it could get. He needed her. He needed this. They needed each other.

  Fire raged in his blood, made his desire for her blaze, and his love all-consuming. Each stroke into her meant a yielding of his heart until he had nothing left to give. She had it all. And this was the only time she would start off fighting for control only to eventually relinquish it all to him. Willingly surrendering as he unleashed emotions in her that he knew she preferred kept under lock. But he intended to take all while giving all. He strove to do whatever he had to do to capture her senses, grasp her mind and push her over the edge of desire and eventually into love.

  “Royce!”

  “That’s it baby,” he whispered softly, leaning down close to her lips. “Don’t fight it. Surrender to what you’re feeling. ”

  She did, and the moment he felt her body explode beneath his he leaned in closer and captured her lips, feasted on her mouth, mated with her tongue, while repeatedly thrusting in and out of her with a greed that wouldn’t ease up.

  Then he was hit with his own explosion and released her hands to grip her hips, to lift them up so he could go deeper into her body still. He began soaring over the edge and beyond, taking her with him as he ascended the clouds, climbing higher and higher to another universe. And she was with him every step of the way. And he knew, at that moment, this was the way he would always want it to be.

  Eight

  Totally drained, Royce slumped against Michelle, making sure his weight wasn’t more than she could handle. Then he switched positions to make her more comfortable in his arms. Their bodies were sated and their skin damp.

  “I’ll give you a chance to rest up, Royce.”

  He pulled in enough strength to glance over at her. He couldn’t help but smile. She was trying to take back control. “I appreciate it.”

  “And you owe me a dress.”

  Now that deserved a laugh. “Was that supposed to be a dress?”

  “Yes, I bought it yesterday.”

  He drew a deep yet slow breath. It was as he’d assumed. “You bought it for me.”

  She frowned. “I don’t buy my clothes for any man.”

  “You made an exception with that one. Admit it,” he said with confidence in his voice. Before she could open her mouth to refute his words, he pulled her to him and captured that mouth with his.

  Regardless of whether she admitted it or not, that dress was for him, although she’d probably purchased it assuming she could use it to get on his last nerve. It had. In addition to that, she had given him a boner that had to be satisfied. And it had gotten satisfied in the most earth-shattering way.

  “If you still want to go out tonight then we can, but I prefer you wear another outfit.”

  She met his eyes. “I don’t have a choice about wearing another outfit since you ruined that one.”

  “I’ll buy you another one, not the same style though. I’ve never gone shopping for a woman before so it ought to be fun.”

  She lifted a surprised brow. “You would go shopping for me?”

  “Yes, since I can’t trust you to go on your own, not if the results are anything like that,” he said.

  “Watch it. You’re beginning to sound territorial.”

  “Am I?” he asked, although the look in her eyes told him she thought he was and didn’t care too much for the idea.

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t say anything for a minute and then. “That guy, the one you were sort of engaged to, the one who I heard was a mama’s boy. Wasn’t he territorial?”

  One of her perfectly arched eyebrows rose ever so slightly, and he knew she was wondering how he knew so much about the man she had kicked to the curb a few years ago, merely a few months before he’d met her. She was smart to figure out that any information he’d obtained had probably come from Jordan.

  “No, Marcus wasn’t territorial,” she finally said. “He knew better.”

  He smiled at her intent. “Well, I don’t.” He paused a moment and added. "I guess that’s the difference between him and me. A difference you might want to get used to.”

  She held his gaze and it didn’t take long for him to see the flash of defiance in her eyes. He decided to stir her passion instead of her anger and before she could part her lips to say a single word, he covered her mouth with his and moments later when he hear her moan he knew he’d accomplished his goal.

  ***

  It was past two in the morning before Royce withdrew his body from Michelle to slump beside her in the huge bed. At some point they had moved from the living room to her bedroom and had been going strong ever since. They had tried possibly every position imaginable. Him on top. Her on top. Sideways. Standing up. Doggie style. It was as if they had not been able to control the passion flowing between them. Their bodies had craved the intimacies and were making up for the time spent apart.

  “I almost forgot to ask,” Michelle said softly, her voice was low and sounded exhausted, sleepy. “What did you decide about the cruise? I still have that opening on the one leaving in a couple of weeks.”

  That would be some time in June, he thought. “Whe
n are the exact dates?” he asked, shifting his body to place his leg over hers. Just because he had withdrawn from her body didn’t mean he didn’t want to feel some connection.

  She gave him the dates. “That will work,” he said easily. “I don’t have any court cases scheduled until July.”

  Their bodies were wet from sweat. A shower was in order, he thought, reaching out to smooth a damp strand of hair from out of her face. Hot sex permeated the air and he liked inhaling the scent. “What do I have to do to persuade you to go with me?” he decided to inquire.

  Michelle met Royce’s gaze, not sure what he expected her to say. She’d told him when he’d asked her the first time that point blank she wouldn’t go. But now…

  She drew in a slow breath just thinking about how they’d spent the past six hours, and if he had anything to do with it, how they would spend the next six. She had a feeling he wasn’t inclined to leave her bed any time soon and she wasn’t inclined to make him. Like before, she felt comfortable with him. Totally at ease. It was only later when she analyzed things did she begin making decisions as to why keeping her distance was the best thing.

  “So tell me,” he said, leaning closer to nuzzle her neck. “What do I have to do?”

  Michelle knew what she would like for him to do and her pulse kicked up a notch at the thought he would agree to do it. She mentally went over all the reasons he probably wouldn’t and then decided there was only one way to know for sure and decided to go for it before she lost her nerve.

  She turned in his arms to face him. “I’ll go on the cruise with you if you’ll agree to go some place with me.”

  “Sure, I’ll go,” he said quickly, in his usual sexy voice.

  Michelle couldn’t help but smile. “But you don’t know where I want to go.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I’ll go.”

  “You sure?” she asked.

  “Positive. So will you go on the cruise with me?”

  Michelle gave him a meaningful look. “Are we still getting separate cabins?”

  He chuckled. “If after tonight you think we’ll need separate cabins, then I guess the answer is yes.”

  She thought they would need separate cabins if for no other reason but to get some sleep and rest occasionally. Nonstop lovemaking could take its toll on a person and Royce had more stamina than any other man she knew. And he had a good memory. He recalled just what things she had liked and had used them to his advantage tonight. “Good. I’ll book us separate cabins.”

  His expression indicated he thought the idea rather amusing. “Does that mean you’re going?”

  “Yes.”

  He smiled before pulling her into his arms and coaxing her lips apart with the tip of his tongue. It didn’t take long for the kiss to turn hot, desperate, and sensuously greedy.

  Moments later Michelle reluctantly pulled back from his kiss. “And you sure you don’t want to know where I want to go?” she asked, while he nibbled at the corners of her mouth.

  “Umm, not really, but since you seem eager to tell me, go ahead.”

  She pulled back, angled her face so she could see his expression clearly, gave him a wry smile and said, “A nudist camp.”

  ***

  A quiet minute ticked by and Royce’s heartbeat seemed to slow down a notch. All he had to do was look into Michelle’s face to see she was dead serious and was carefully watching for his reaction to her outlandish statement.

  He was stunned, virtually horrified, and it was hard as hell to keep the shocked look from his face but he fought to do so anyway. He then realized coming from Michelle, the request really wasn’t outlandish at all. His woman was a rebel. And from what he’d been told, she’d always been one and chances of her changing now were slim to none. That meant he would have to get used to it, but in those situations where her wants and desires went too far out of bounds, he would have to rein her back in. However he figured that this particular request was something he would have to tread lightly. They had just spent the better part of six hours or more making love. He didn’t want to spend the next six at war.

  “Is there a reason why you want to go to a nudist camp?” he asked, phrasing it to sound more curious then censor.

  She shrugged. “I’ve never been to one before.”

  He honestly didn’t think that was a good enough reason since he’d never been to the moon, but he wasn’t standing in line to be a part of the next space flight into orbit. “Oh, I see.”

  “If you want to change your mind about going then say so,” she snapped, attempting to get out of bed only to remember his leg was holding hers hostage.

  “Hey settle down,” he said in a soothing tone. “I’m not changing my mind about anything. I just didn’t know you had a fetish for a naked body other than mine.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I don’t.” At his sudden broad smile she clarified. “I don’t have a fetish for naked bodies period, yours or otherwise. I’m curious that’s all. Bare All Resort is one of my listings and is very popular. I’m just curious to see what’s the draw.”

  He chuckled. “I think we can both safely say what’s the draw, Michelle. Will you feel comfortable parading around in your birthday suit for everyone to see?”

  “Will you?” she asked.

  “No, I won’t feel comfortable with you parading around in your birthday suit for everyone to see.”

  She gave him a light punch in the arm. “You know what I mean. Will you have a problem exposing yourself to others?”

  He decided to be honest with her. “I won’t have a problem with it but I’m not sure just how comfortable I’d be doing it. There’s a difference. I don’t want to see everybody naked, just you. However, if that’s somewhere you really want to go then, I meant what I said and I’ll do it for you.”

  For a moment she remained remarkably silent and then her lips curved in a smile before she pushed him flat on his back and straddled him.

  Nine

  News seemed to get around fast, Royce discovered, when he walked into his office Monday morning to find Jordan waiting on him.

  “Tell me I heard wrong,” Jordan said, his voice jovial as always since he’d gotten married. It wasn’t hard to tell that his best friend was a happily married family man. This was Jordan’s second marriage. His first marriage to Paula, who also was an attorney, hadn’t worked out and Royce had been convinced that he would never marry again. But when he had met Dominique while out jogging one morning, that had been the end of that notion.

  “It depends on what you’ve heard,” he said, putting down his briefcase and going over to the blinds to open them.

  “Well, according to Dominique, Michelle claims you’re going with her to one of those nudist camps somewhere in Tennessee.”

  Royce sat behind his desk. “Yes, you heard it right.”

  A surprised look appeared on Jordan’s face. “Man, have you lost your mind?”

  Royce smiled. “No, just my heart.”

  Jordan stared at Royce. “Uh, say that again. I don’t think I heard you right.”

  Royce smiled. “You heard me right. I realized Friday night why I’ve been so annoyed with Michelle, and even more lately.”

  “Because you think you’ve fallen for her?”

  “I know I have.”

  Jordan continued to stare at Royce, someone he’d known since high school when Royce’s family had moved into the neighborhood. They had immediately become best friends. For as far back as he could remember Royce liked girls. Over the years Royce had become an expert on women and considered himself a die-hard bachelor. Jordan would be the first to admit that he had picked up on the sexual attraction between Royce and Michelle several times and had had a good idea the two of them had slept together a few years ago, although Royce had never admitted such a thing. But for Royce to claim he was in love was a bit much.

  “You’re sure of your feelings?” Jordan couldn’t help but ask.

  “Just as sure as you were of yours when you fell for
Dominique.”

  Jordan couldn’t help but smile at that. He had assumed it was lust at first sight when in all actuality it had been love. “It’s strange,” he couldn’t help but say. “For you of all people to fall in love when you’ve never hinted at doing such a thing before, never even came close.”

  Royce leaned back in his chair and rubbed his jaw, thinking about what Jordan had said. “Yes, I admit it’s strange but I guess you were right when you said that for every man there is a woman out there for him.” Royce chuckled. “And Michelle is determined not to make things easy for me.”

  “Does she know how you feel?”

  “Hell no, and I won’t be telling her until I think she’s ready to hear it. Michelle has issues I intend to help her overcome. I don’t think any man has taken the time to do that with her.”

  Jordan couldn’t help but laugh as he stood on his feet. “Well, Michelle isn’t the easiest person to handle, which I’m sure you know.”

  “Yes, but I’ll work on her when we go on that cruise together. I intend to make it a high sea adventure that she won’t forget.”

  ***

  Dominique studied her sister and said. “You seem excited about going on that cruise with Royce.”

  Michelle looked up, hesitated and then set her fork down. “I know and it’s kind of scary. When you saw me at church on Sunday, Royce had just left that morning.”

  Dominique raised a brow. “From when he’d taken you out Friday night?”

  Michelle gave her sister a wry smile as she picked up her fork to continue eating. “We never made it out Friday night. He didn’t like my outfit.”

  Dominique nodded, certain there was more to the story than that and figured Michelle would get around to giving her all the details sooner or later. In the meantime… “So, do you get to go to that nudist camp first?”

  Michelle laughed. “No, in fact Royce’s decision to go with me to that camp is contingent upon me going on that cruise with him.”