Strong and Weak

by Andy Crouch

  With Angela in our midst, with all her inescapable vulnerability, something profoundly healthy has happened in my family of origin, a family where love has been real but also has been tested and sometimes has been all too hard. Scattered across three states, distracted by the demands and opportunities of fruitful work and the countless distractions of the thin, virtual world, we—maybe the more honest word is I—could easily have missed the call to flourish together. But Angela has concentrated our attention and our love. In a centrifugal world where everything and everyone flees the demands of love, Angela was a center of gravity, drawing us back to one another and to true life—the life that really is life, the life that money cannot buy: the life of making flourishing possible, at great cost and with great tears.

  She could never know it, but Angela’s whole life was only possible because of an ever-widening web of extraordinary acts of love and sacrifice, authority and vulnerability.

  Of course, the same is true for every one of us.

  On a summer day like this one, on a blanket with simple toys in reach, the sun on her hair and breeze in her face, Angela is flourishing. She is known, she is loved, and because she exists, others are called up and to the right with her.

  She has the only life worth having—the life that really is life. And because of her, the rest of us do, too.

  As this book was being prepared for publication, Angela Frances Ricker died at home of complications from her condition. She was eleven years old. She died, as she was born and as she lived, surrounded by love.

  Acknowledgments

  My deepest thanks to my parents, Wayne and Joyce, for their firmness and their warmth in my childhood and for their generosity and openness in my adulthood, and to Melinda and Dave Ricker for showing me in so many ways what love and flourishing can be.

  Editors and agents, too, create flourishing when they combine authority and vulnerability. Thank you to Andy Le Peau for proving that it is possible—and necessary—to be both feared and loved! This book is so much better for his unflinching honesty and his unbending patience. Thank you to Kathy Helmers for her invaluable contributions to the shaping of this book and its argument.

  To the whole InterVarsity Press team, not least to Cindy Kiple for yet another pitch-perfect cover—thank you for taking mere words and making them available in such artful ways to so many readers.

  My wife, Catherine, is my first and best reader, the one who knows and shares my authority and vulnerability, and the greatest gift of flourishing in my life. Thank you.

  Notes

  (Page numbers refer to print edition.)

  Chapter 1: Beyond the False Choice

  pp. 15-16 Firmness and warmth, it turns out: The vast literature on these two dimensions of “parenting style,” which was an organizing principle of Diana Baumrind’s work, converges on Maccoby and Martin’s 1983 review article, “Socialization in the Context of the Family: Parent-Child Interaction,” in P. H. Mussen and E. M. Hetherington, Handbook of Child Psychology: Vol. 4. Socialization, Personality, and Social Development, 4th ed. (New York: John Wiley & Sons, 1983). It is summarized in accessible form online, with further references, at Kendra Cherry’s “Parenting Styles: The Four Styles of Parenting,” http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm. It is important to note that one ongoing area of research and debate is how widely Baumrind’s categories apply outside the dominant culture of North America. See the discussion in Nancy Darling and Laurence Steinberg, “Parenting Style as Context: An Integrative Model,” Psychological Bulletin 113, no. 3 (1993), 487-96.

  p. 16 being nice and being kind: Thanks to Kelly Monroe Kullberg (in another context) for this lovely and insightful distinction.

  p. 17 quadrants: Apologies to math whizzes, for whom my numbering goes the wrong direction—and who will also notice that this is not really a proper coordinate system.

  Chapter 2: Flourishing

  p. 30 Angela: My brother-in-law David Ricker wrote about Angela’s early months in “Trisomy 13,” Lifelines (2011-2012), 66-74, available at http://geiselmed.dartmouth.edu/lifelines/pdf/2012_lifelines.pdf.

  p. 35 Think of authority this way: In what follows I have been helped tremendously by Oliver O’Donovan (especially The Desire of the Nations: Rediscovering the Roots of Political Theology [New York: Cambridge University Press, 1999]), Victor Austin (Up with Authority: Why We Need Authority to Flourish as Human Beings [New York: T&T Clark, 2010]), and most recently, David T. Koyzis, (We Answer to Another: Authority, Office, and the Image of God [Eugene, OR: Pickwick, 2014]). Koyzis is especially comprehensive and clarifying. While I omit many of his valuable distinctions in this simple discussion, I recommend his book as the first stop for anyone looking for a treatment of authority from a Christian perspective and as a next step for those who have read my book Playing God into the nuances of political theory and its implications for flourishing communities and institutions.

  p. 39 The sorrow of the whole human story: Many others have stated this idea before me, including, as David T. Koyzis notes, Richard T. De George in The Nature and Limits of Authority: “The enemy, however, is not authority but the abuse of authority” (quoted in Koyzis, 171).

  p. 42 The very first word: Patrick Lencioni, Getting Naked: A Business Fable About Shedding the Three Fears That Sabotage Client Loyalty (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010).

  pp. 44-45 Indeed, as the scholar: Walter Brueggemann, “Of the Same Flesh and Bone,” Catholic Biblical Quarterly, vol. 32 (1970), 532-42. I was alerted to this article by a blog post by Matthew Lee Anderson.

  p. 46 As I was writing this chapter the makers: “Days of My Youth,” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlXk49Mh7go, accessed July 6, 2015.

  Chapter 3: Suffering

  p. 64 the dirty work every social media company must somehow handle: Adrian Chen, “The Laborers Who Keep Dick Pics and Beheadings Out of Your Facebook Feed,” Wired (October 2014). Accessed online at www.wired.com/2014/10/content-moderation/. As the title indicates, the article contains graphic descriptions (though not images) of highly disturbing online content.

  p. 67 a district in India where bonded labor—modern-day child slavery—had been endemic: I described this visit in more detail in Playing God (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2013), 19-24.

  Chapter 4: Withdrawing

  p. 84 a bigger industry than movies: Gartner, Inc., “Gartner Says Worldwide Video Game Market to Total $93 Billion in 2013,” www.gartner.com/newsroom/id/2614915, accessed February 21, 2015. PwC, “Global entertainment and media outlook 2015-2019,” www.pwc.com/gx/en/global-entertainmentmedia-outlook/segment-insights/filmed-entertainment.jhtml, accessed February 21, 2015.

  p. 88 milking a cow in Minecraft: “Farming Sheep, Cows and Pigs in Minecraft,” www.minecraft101.net/g/farming-animals.html, accessed December 31, 2014.

  Chapter 5: Exploiting

  p. 100 Phil and Leslie: Phil Bowling-Dyer wrote about this experience in “Being Black in Our Neighborhood—and in America,” re:generation quarterly (Spring 2001), available at www.ctlibrary.com/rq/2001/spring/7108.html, accessed July 6, 2015.

  Chapter 6: Hidden Vulnerability

  p. 123 thirty thousand commercial plane flights in the United States every day: Jad Mouawad and Christopher Drew, “Airline Industry at Its Safest Since the Dawn of the Jet Age,” The New York Times, 11 February 2013, page A1 (available at www.nytimes.com/2013/02/12/business/2012-was-the-safest-year-for-airlines-globally-since-1945.html, accessed February 21, 2015).

  p. 132 Ted Haggard in a hotel room: The image accompanied the cover story, “Good Morning, Evangelicals!,” Christianity Today, November 2005.

  Chapter 7: Descending to the Dead

  p. 149 “It was the spring semester of the academic year, and I was in trouble”: Philip Ryken, “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen,” available online at www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yVQ8xVp7kA, accessed February 19, 2015.

  p. 156 Steve Hayner: The story of Steve and Sharol’s journey through h
is months with cancer is told in Joy in the Journey: Finding Abundance in the Shadow of Death (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2015).

  Chapter 8: Up and to the Right

  p. 168 blessed with memory, reason and skill, the rulers of creation: This language is adapted from Eucharistic Prayer C in the Book of Common Prayer of The Episcopal Church.

  p. 173 a cohort of middle managers in an American firm over many years: Unfortunately I cannot recover the article that described this study.

  Discussion Guide

  Crouch defines flourishing as being fully alive, connected to our own human purpose as well as somehow participating in the glory of God. How would you define flourishing ? What does it look like to you?

  What do you think of Crouch’s paradox that flourishing comes from being both strong and weak?

  How is Jesus, being both strong and weak, an example of flourishing?

  How did you respond to the story of Angela in chapter two, someone profoundly disabled who nonetheless had a profound effect on those around her?

  Suffering can be physical, financial, emotional, social and spiritual. We all visit the quadrant of Suffering (chap. 3). What are the short-term and long-term effects of suffering on people?

  Crouch says building lasting authority is essential to lift both individuals and communities out of suffering. Do you agree or not? Explain.

  In chapter four Crouch says safety is a good thing, where we hopefully all start in life. Why can clinging to the quadrant of Withdrawing actually be debilitating for human beings?

  The real temptation for most of us is not complete apathy, but activities that simulate meaningful action and meaningful risk without actually asking much of us or transforming much in us. Crouch mentions cruises and video games as examples. He also discusses small, practical steps that could move us out of the quadrant of Withdrawing, like turning off electronic devices for a while or asking a friend questions just one step deeper than usual. What are concrete ways you could take a step out of the Withdrawing quadrant?

  In chapter five Crouch says Exploiting is seeking to avoid vulnerability by increasing our authority. The best early warning sign that we are drifting toward Exploiting (in work or family relationships, in addictions from alcohol to romance novels) is that our closest relationships begin to decay. Do you think this is true or not? Explain.

  Which of the three quadrants (Suffering, Withdrawing, Exploiting) do you find yourself in most often and why?

  Crouch offers two ways to move toward Flourishing, two ways exemplified by Jesus. The first, in chapter six, is that of hidden vulnerability. Do you agree that sometimes it is necessary to hide our vulnerabilities so others can flourish? Explain.

  Crouch says that no one survives hidden vulnerability without companions who understand. How have you found that to be true?

  What do you think of Crouch’s contention in chapter seven, “Descending to the Dead,” that only as we embrace suffering from a position of authority can we find true flourishing?

  What are some practical ways to lay aside authority (become vulnerable) so others can take it up and bring flourishing?

  What is the key, the most helpful idea, you take away from Strong and Weak?

  Praise for Strong and Weak

  “This book is going to have a profound impact on our world. It’s built on a clear, deep, life-changing insight that opens up vast possibilities for human flourishing. Classic, elegant and utterly illuminating.”

  John Ortberg, senior pastor, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, author of Soul Keeping

  “Andy Crouch has done it again! Strong and Weak is an intellectually insightful, socially relevant and prophetically passionate book that shows us how to multiply our power to create a world where people from every tribe and nation can flourish and reach their full God-given potential. I love it!”

  Brenda Salter McNeil, Seattle Pacific University, author of Roadmap to Reconciliation

  “God’s Word focuses so much on the interplay between weakness and strength—as well as other opposites that drive us toward the greatest opportunities to flourish. All of discipleship seems to center around these opposites. When we experience poverty, we comprehend the riches that God generously bestows on us. When we experience helplessness, we recognize the might of his strength! Andy Crouch’s excellent book gives insight into understanding all this more clearly.”

  Ravi I. Jayakaran, director, Community Transformations, e3 Partners, senior associate for integral mission, Lausanne Movement

  “This book challenged me to think authentically as a leader and to bring my real self into the work of leadership. Andy Crouch offers a simple yet profound framework that examines the important relationship between authority and vulnerability—and how various combinations can either help or hinder human flourishing. This roadmap exposes the all-too-easy pitfalls of withdrawal and exploitation while reminding us that it is in vulnerability and suffering that strength dwells. Strong and Weak is an empowering guide for anyone who seeks to live against a culture of safety and into a life of meaningful risk and flourishing.”

  Jena Lee Nardella, cofounder, Blood:Water, author of One Thousand Wells

  About the Author

  Andy Crouch (MDiv, Boston University School of Theology) is executive editor of Christianity Today. He has written for Time and The Wall Street Journal, and is author of the highly acclaimed Culture Making and Playing God.

  Also by Andy Crouch

  Culture Making

  Playing God

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  ©2016 by Andy Crouch

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  InterVarsity Press® is the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA®, a movement of students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, visit intervarsity.org.

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  Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  While any stories in this book are true, some names and identifying information may have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

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  Images: © danielle mussman/iStockphoto

  ISBN 978-0-8308-9928-9 (digital)

  ISBN 978-0-8308-4443-2 (print)

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Crouch, Andy, author.Title: Strong and weak : embracing a life of love, risk, and true flourishing / Andy Crouch.Description: Downers Grove : InterVarsity Press, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references.Identifiers: LCCN 2015040195 (print) | LCCN 2015042608 (ebook) | ISBN 9780830844432 (hardcover : alk. paper) | ISBN 9780830899289 (eBook)Subjects: LCSH: Success—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Love—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Vulnerability (Personality trait) | Risk taking (Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Control (Psychology)—Re
ligious aspects—Christianity.Classification: LCC BV4598.3 .C755 2016 (print) | LCC BV4598.3 (ebook) | DDC 248.4—dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015040195

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