by K. L. Jessop
I slam my eyes shut when his callous hand slips between my thighs, stroking me through my thong. My body quivers with fear, and I’m suddenly that little girl who use to cry herself to sleep after someone entered my room.
I want Lucas. I need my Lucas.
“How’s that little family of yours, Victoria? That little lad looks adorable.”
Through the midst of my terror, my eyes spring open as a new state of alarm channels through my body. I stop my fight; my body becomes a dead, frozen weight as tears sting my eyes.
My baby, he’s been watching my baby.
“Please don’t hurt him,” I choke out. He can hurt me anyway he wants, but I won’t have him hurt my baby. He removes his hand but doesn’t step back. The next lot of words that leave him cause my blood to run cold and deep uncontrolled agony to set in.
“You wanted to know who I am, sweet little girl? Well, here’s a little clue. I’ll tell Lawson you said hello.”
I don’t know how, but I flee the room, hearing his deadly cackle as I run down the hall.
Grabbing my clothes from the back room, I make out to one of the girls I’m unwell as I jump into my jeans, not bothering to do them up as I sprint out of the back door in bare feet, my clothes cradled in my arms. Rounding the corner, the bile in my throat is too much when his words repeat in my mind. I hold on to the wall and empty the acid from my stomach, trembling as tears run down my face. I don’t know who that man is, but he’s suddenly stuck a very large knife into a part of my heart that was beginning to heal. And the worse thing of all is that I don’t think I’ve seen the last of him. If he’s anything like Lawson, he’ll not only come for me but those I love.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lucas.
I don’t understand what’s happening, and I don’t like the irrational thoughts that have been racing through my mind these last few days. I don’t like myself for thinking them either; it makes me feel like a shitty man who has lost his trust in someone that he loves so deeply, when there’s no true evidence to prove my suspicions are right. But it’s not just Tori that has been acting out of sorts because I have been thrown off balance ever since I saw that photo from her sketchbook and I can’t bring myself to tell her the truth about it.
I glance over at Tori who’s putting Charlie into his pyjamas while talking to Marcus. A smile tugs at my heart as I watch the little lad hug into his mother, his damp, ruffled hair sticking up from playing in the early evening ocean as sand sparkles against his skin. The boy is how I love to see kids—a beach warrior: not bothered by the salt of the sea or the grains of the beach in the cracks of his skin. The smile on his face says it all. He’s a little trooper. My eyes soon drift to my raven bird and that solid weight replaces the bliss I was just feeling. Tori smiles at whatever it is that Marcus is talking about, but I can see under that canvas she’s wanting to run and it’s that I don’t understand. She’s been on edge ever since she came home early the other night and called in sick last night. My head is telling me there’s nothing to be concerned about and that I’m overreacting, but my gut says otherwise. When she unexpectedly walked through the door a couple hours after her shift started, she was pale, fidgety and her eyes were bleak as though she was back in her dark world. Every time I asked her what was wrong, she said she felt unwell, held on to me like her life depended on it and ended up getting Charlie to sleep in our bed between us. Everything she said, every excuse she made, was bullshit because I know my girl. Or at least I think I do, and I hate where my mind goes every time I think of her irregular, underlying behaviour. She said she’s clean and has been since Charlie, and I believed her at the time, but now I can’t help the doubt that’s, unfortunately, trying to ascend in my mind.
She wouldn’t do that.
She wouldn’t sacrifice everything, Charlie and myself just for a fix.
Would she?
I know addiction is an illness, but even so, she’s still an addict and always will be. So, who can blame me for thinking what I currently am?
“What’s that hothead of yours thinking?” Jack asks, resting himself against the rocks next to me. “Looks serious.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Rosa’s been trying to get your attention for the last ten minutes and had no response.”
I manage half a smile. Looking back at Tori, I find her now sitting looking out towards the water rocking Charlie in her arms while my sister, Amelia, Rosa and Felicity try and get her to join them down by the water with Marcus and Andrew, who’s now surfing.
I want to know what she’s thinking.
Is she contemplating the change in her life?
Her love for me?
“I’m just tired,” I reply.
“Not up for a surf tonight?”
I shake my head. “Not in the mood for it.”
“You in the mood for a beer at Rubies after this instead? Looks like you could do with one.”
“Sounds good.” I nod in Tori’s direction. “Does she seem okay to you?”
“Does she not to you?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh, running my hand through my hair. “She seems distracted, low, not her usual self.” I want to say that she’s been acting like someone going through withdrawal, but I don’t want to draw attention to it. I need to know for sure before I speak of my concerns. I need to know what I plan on doing if she is.
“She’s a mother, Lucas—a mother who works nights, so her sleep pattern will have gone to shit. We ourselves know how hard that can be with working at the club and we don’t run around after a toddler—well you do now. That being said, these last few months have been a huge upheaval for her, and Tori’s had to face many transitions along the way. I’ve no doubt that her distraction is because of that and the fact she’s more than likely exhausted.”
I consider his words. I’ve never thought about it in that way; I just jumped right in and thought of the bad.
But that gut feeling is still there.
I smile at my friend's level-headed response. “Since when did you get so grown up?”
“Since when did you settle down?” he quips. He leans back against the rocks, folding his arms as he looks down towards the water. “It’s surprising how the sensibility of a woman can rub off on you. They make you think rationally before you even realise you’re doing it, and the more you do it, the more you sound like a pussy because you’d normally fire inappropriate responses.”
I laugh. He’s got a point.
“Or maybe we are all starting to grow up and learning to see things differently in life. Ten years ago, I would have said that if Tori was acting strange to bin her off and replace her with another.”
“And now?” I turn my head to look at him, still amused and shocked at what is leaving my friends mouth. This is Jack—Jack who plays your typical barman attitude and fucks about.
“Now I’d say she’s the best fucking thing that’s happened to you and not to be an idiot and replace her if the question has even crossed your damn mind.”
It hasn’t and never will. I may not know what I’d do if Tori is using again, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave them both out on their own if it is the case. She’s my girl. She’ll need my support, not my negativity. She’ll need my love, not my loathing. However, I find myself going back to the past. I know Selena’s death wasn’t from drug addiction, but her father is the reason people like Tori have one.
“The thought hasn’t crossed my mind. But you are right about one thing.”
“Oh?”
“You do sound like a pussy.”
He throws his arm around my neck, locking me in a headlock and scrubbing his knuckles along my scalp. “Watch it, fucker. This pussy can still kick your arse.”
“Like to see you try,” I chuckle.
“You two boys look like you’re having fun,” Tori says, approaching us with Charlie in her arms. His little limbs droop with relaxation as she holds him against her chest. The glow of the sunset highli
ghts her skin, making her cheekbones prominent.
Fuck, she’s beautiful.
“I’m going to take him home. He’s nearly asleep and it’s getting late. Are you ready?”
I feel like an arse. I want to be with her but at the same time, I want to get my head straight. “I was going to go for a beer with Jack, but I can come home if you want me to?”
“Don’t worry about that, Lucas,” Rosa says coming up behind her. “I’ll walk these two back with Marcus and Amelia. You go with Jack. I think Megan and Andrew are heading for a drink too.”
I look at Tori, uncertainty washing over her face as she looks at me, and even though I see she’s not comfortable, I still can’t read her. It’s like her eyes are someone else. I want to give the security I always have and know she’s needing, but I also need to figure out this ridiculous shit that’s racing my mind over the damn photo, because if my mind isn’t clear, nothing will come out like I want it to. “Birdy?”
“You go. I’ll be alright with the guys.”
“You sure?”
She nods, pulling me in for a hug. Once again, her fingertips dig into my skin as if she’s afraid to let go. It hurts—it truly fucking hurts that after everything, she can’t bring herself to tell me whatever it is that is troubling her.
“I love you,” she whispers.
“I love you too.” I brush my lips against hers before pulling back a little. “Birdy, you would tell me if anything was wrong, wouldn’t you?”
She searches my face. I can see the hesitation clouding her eyes, which only confirms there is something wrong. It also states she’s about to lie to my face.
“Of course I would, but I’m fine.”
And there you have it.
“Come on, let’s get you two home,” Rosa says, taking her by the arm.
I watch them walk up the beach, and I hate the feeling that’s in my stomach. I love her more than life itself, but right now I feel so distant from her and I can’t fucking stand it. I don’t know what to do, so I go to the one thing that I know will kill these feelings for as long as I let them.
I turn to Jack. “I need that fucking drink.”
I’ve had more drinks than I intended and have stayed out longer than I planned.
Tori text me about an hour ago asking me to come home, and I felt that pull towards her just by reading her words.
She needs me, and I’m missing her.
I want to show her how much I love her—how much I need her. I’ve come to the conclusion after my fourth whiskey that my overthinking is some fucked up form of anxiety that’s playing tricks with my mind. But that’s left me still undecided about what to do regarding this photo of her mother, and it still doesn’t explain why there is something on Tori’s mind.
I intend to find out before anything else.
“You ready?” Jack asks, placing his glass on the bar as Andrew and Megan head out of Rubies.
“Thanks, man.” I slap him on the back, appreciative of the fact he got me to come here. “I needed this. I love your pretty arse.”
He cups my shoulder. “I love you too, but you’re drunk, and if you mention how pretty my arse is again, I’ll knock you out.”
“Don’t you like me complimenting this little peach?” I grin, trying to grab his backside in a playful joke as he jumps away from me.
“Seriously, Lucas,” he laughs. “Fuck off.”
“Go on, just a little squeeze?”
“It will be the last fucking squeeze you execute, I can assure you.”
I dive towards him grinning and he jumps back. “So, is that a yes?”
“It’s a fuck-right-off you prick.”
We head out into the cool, midnight air, pushing one another in playful fights and laughing as we stagger. Once out of the club, our hysteria is instantly silenced by the sound of my sister yelling towards a man as Andrew holds her back.
“Just leave! You’re not welcome!”
My body tenses; my knuckles crack with tightness as my fists curl and the growl leaves my throat. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
He turns, grinning like a fucking Cheshire cat in his ivory suit like he’s some dickhead of a celebrity visiting the bay. “What a polite way to greet your uncle. Didn’t Mummy Dearest not tell you I was coming?”
“She did, but I’d hoped you keeled over and died somewhere. And you’re no fucking uncle of mine. You lost the right years ago.”
Amusement washes across his face. “Lost my right? Ah, yes, stolen by the boy who tried to be a man and tell his Uncle Richard to stop being so naughty with all the bad things he was doing.” His face turns serious. “Nice try, kid, but I certainly wasn’t going to take orders from a fucking child.”
I step forward. “This child saw more than he wanted to and didn’t appreciate you disrespecting our family name after everything my grandparents and my mother did for you.”
As the years have gone by, Richard’s respect towards our family has declined and it became more obvious to my parents, even though my mother still tries to keep the peace. I’ve not seen him in years, and the more time that’s passed, my aggression towards him has grown. This man is not liked, nor is he welcome, and thankfully, my sister is now beginning to see it after he put her in danger. Megan comes to stand beside me, the heat from her raging body matching mine.
He looks between us and smirks, his over-tanned skin making his face crack. “What’s this? A poor excuse for a Simmons military? Need a little bitch to hold your hand nowadays?”
“Shut the fuck up,” I bark as Andrew shouts his own hostility.
Richard’s eyes burn into mine. He’s wanting a fight, I can sense it.
He looks at me, rubbing his chin with his hand, chuckling to himself.
I want to wipe that fucking smile off his face.
“Tell me, Lucas. Do you like pretty little bitches? Is that why you stayed in Los Angeles for so long?”
The burn in my chest ignites a new level of rage and I square my shoulders. Andrew’s now moved Megan aside as he and Jack come behind me. It doesn’t make Richard flinch. He’s not even intimidated by the fact there are three angry men and a bat-shit crazy blonde standing in front of him. If anything, it only spurs him on.
He takes a step towards us, hilarity in his dark, threatening features. “LA is full of beautiful women, but what I want to know is how long it took you before you dipped your dick in that little girl you failed to protect.”
I’m throwing him against the wall before I even have a chance to realise what I’m doing, thrusting him against the solid brick with a blow that makes my own body shake, my balled hands full of his suit jacket as I cut my knuckles into his windpipe. I feel the presence of the men behind, but they don’t pull me off. Richard’s cold eyes laugh with wickedness and I seeth out my words.
“I’m gonna rip your fucking head off.”
“Touched a nerve?” he grunts. “What was her name… Sammy? Sally? Slut?”
I shove my hands into him harder, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. It’s like his larynx is made of fucking steel. “You don’t know the first thing about her.”
“Oh. Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I know your action man skills have gone to shit.” His face begins to redden, his voice now rasped, but the fucker still carries on. “You are nothing, boy. Do these little pussies know what you really are? Shall we tell them about LA?”
“There’s nothing to tell; we already know,” Megan replies. “Take the hint, dickhead. Go crawl back under whatever bar in Spain you come out from.”
Richard looks over my shoulder and my stomach drops. “So, he told you he let a girl die right in front of him.”
“That’s not true!” Megan spits. “She was murdered.”
“Yes, and Lucas here played a part in that. Isn’t that right?”
I drop him like he’s poison and step back, defeated by the words of a man I despise. My chest is so tight I’m struggling to breathe, sweat peppering my ski
n as hatred runs through my blood like a swollen river.
He needs to stop.
I need him to stop.
My vision becomes blurred as I try to breathe slowly to prevent an anxiety attack. My mental state is currently proving my uncle right because I’m falling apart right in front of him, clarifying that I am what he says: a fucking failure. “How do you know all this?”
“Got a little boring being away; thought I’d keep tabs on you all.”
I laugh, shaking my head in disbelief. I should have fucking known: it’s Richard; the bastard knows everything.
“Tell me, Lucas. This new girl of yours… what’s she like?”
I spin towards him, pointing my finger at him as Jack tries to block me. “Stay the fuck away from her.”
He laughs as though he’s the fucking joker in the Batman movie. “What’s her pussy like? You know I like a good pussy where that family is concerned.”
And that’s all it takes to have me charging towards him, the impact of my fist contacting his nose, cracking the bone as fury burns through my body. Crimson red blood covers his ivory suit as he stumbles back. Even now he’s still fucking laughing at me. I charge in again, pounding his stomach causing him to keel over at the waist. Andrew and Jack pull me off as my sister screams at me to stop.
I’ll stop once that fucker can no longer walk, and is eating meals through a straw. “I don’t know what games you’re playing but I don’t fucking like it. Stay the fuck away from Tori.”
“I love games. I’m always very good at them.”
“One day,” I roar. “One day you won’t know what’s fucking hit you.”
“This threatening behaviour is so uncommon for a pussy.”
“Just go, arsehole,” Jack snaps.
With that, Richard rounds the corner and disappears into the shadows laughing as he does. I need to get to Tori. I need to think straight before I tell her something that will have the potential to change everything. I start walking in the direction of where I know my heart lies.
