Fallen Rebel

by C. G. Blaine

  “Oh, come on,” Chaz says, bracing his arms on each side of the doorway. “You’re divinity-blocking me?”

  Cass puts his arm around me and presses his lips to my temple. “Your services are no longer needed,” he says, looking back to the angel stuck in the hallway.

  Chaz rolls his eyes, but he still grins and tosses the keys inside. “Whatever. Enjoy your birthday, beautiful. And don’t forget to call me when his tortured-soul shit gets old.”

  I blink, and he’s gone. I’m about to ask how he can without his charge until I notice the warmth of Cass’s skin.

  “You have your powers?”

  He lets go of me and swipes his keys off the floor. “Enough to travel if we concentrate hard enough at least.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “That the demons aren’t giving up yet. But we already knew that.” He shuts the door and comes back to me. “You let him drive my bike?”

  “You can’t be mad at me.” I drape my arms over his shoulders. “It’s my birthday.”

  His eyes are harsh, but his voice doesn’t match as he holds me tighter. “You’re right. But tomorrow? We’re fighting about it.” He kisses me quickly and digs something out of his back pocket. “As for your birthday, we have a busy day.”

  I take the paper from his hand, narrowing my eyes while I unfold it. “What’s this?” When I look down, my heart skips. My eyes fly back to him. “Are you serious?”

  “What else would we do on your birthday?”

  He shows a dimple, and I fall even more in love.

  The list started on my seventh birthday with a new item added every year. You can tell the years my parents were lazy or unprepared. Although those often turned out to be the best ones. We completed everything on the list each birthday without fail until they died, but I haven’t done a single item on there since.

  Cass stares down at me where I sit cross-legged on the linoleum floor. “You ready?”

  I nod, grinning so big that my cheeks hurt. Hands down, the first one’s my favorite.

  He shakes his head on his way to the door and pulls it open. A dozen puppies come dashing out. All colors. All sizes. All barking. Their paws slide across the floor as they scramble around, and then I’m covered in them. One bigger one bounds into me. I fall back and laugh and bask in the joy of being attacked by fluff balls.

  After a while, Cass lifts me off the floor and out of the chaos. He brushes his thumb over my cheek, and I turn into the touch. The temperature difference in our skin is more soothing than ever.

  We stay with the puppies until a worker from the dog rescue comes in to wrangle them. Cass picks up the smallest one from the corner to help. A mix between different breeds with long reddish fur. It stares at him with sad eyes until he scratches it behind the ear. He hands it off to the employee and scrunches up the puppy’s face one more time. He turns back around, and I smile.

  He rolls his eyes. “Shut up. I have a thing for half-breeds.”

  “And I have a thing for angels who have a thing for half-breeds.”

  He pushes his forehead against mine. “It had better be a thing for one angel.”

  One fallen rebel angel. Heaven help me.

  His fingers intertwine with mine, and he leads me back to my car. Next on the list: cakes. Plural.

  We park in front of a small bakery with Life’s Better with Sprinkles painted in the window display. My parents couldn’t agree on flavors, which meant in order to avoid bloodshed, we bought two cakes for every occasion.

  So, when the man returns with an extra box, I squint at Cass. “Let me guess. We need three cakes because you don’t like strawberry or chocolate.”

  “No,” he says, opening his wallet. “You don’t like strawberry or chocolate. If I’m buying you birthday cakes, I’m at least getting one of them in a flavor that you do.” He hands cash to the guy behind the counter and flips the lid to one of the boxes. “Vanilla without frosting.”

  I laugh at the bare dessert. “All this time, I thought having three cakes would be over the top.”

  “It is. I have no idea why the fuck I’m encouraging it.” Cass closes the box and holds his hand out for his change. Then he leaves me to carry out my three different cakes, swearing under his breath about my family’s ridiculous traditions.

  Fifteen minutes later, we’re back at the apartment. Cass takes the cake boxes to the kitchen. He comes into the living room with a large paper bag and sits down on the couch, setting it on the cushion next to him.

  “You actually made the grab bag?” I ask.

  This one originated on my fourteenth birthday. Each of my parents thought the other was taking care of the birthday idea, which led to neither of them doing it. They rummaged around the house and threw random stuff in a grocery bag, so I could reach in and choose one surprise “present.” Over the three years they put together the grab bag, I chose a coupon to an auto parts store, a pair of my mom’s earrings she would steal back a few days later, and a fifty-dollar bill.

  Cass pulls me onto his lap, so I’m straddling him. While his interest in the bag was never there to begin with, mine vanishes the second his hands slide up my back, bringing me forward until my lips meet his. The kiss deepens, and soon enough, I’m grinding shamelessly against him, his hips flexing to meet mine.

  Happy birthday, Hannah.

  His phone vibrates in his pocket. I expect him to ignore it, which he does until it goes off again. The hand on my back disappears, and he shifts around beneath me. He growls, breaking his mouth away from me, irritated eyes on the screen. “How long will you be mad if I make Terra forget she knows you?”

  “Right now, I don’t care.”

  I lower my lips back to his, and he drops the phone. He grabs my hips, pulling them down so he can thrust up against me. But just as we regain our rhythm, he pulls away again.

  “Fuck,” he says, panting. “She’s downstairs, waiting for me to let her in the building.”

  “Why?” I ask, equally out of breath.

  He moves me onto the cushions and disappears down the hall, abandoning me on the couch.

  Unhappy birthday Hannah.

  Coming back from our room, he carries a pair of purple-and-black Rollerblades in his hand. “Because you two are going to skate around our apartment like lunatics.”

  “You’re joking,” I say, rushing over to him. “Carpet-roller-skate tag?”

  Skating and tag started out as two separate activities until the year it snowed a foot. Both were moved inside and ended up combined into one. The results were just disastrous enough for it to become permanent.

  “It’s on the list, Hannah.” As soon as Cass says my name, he mutters, “Goddamn it,” and reaches for his wallet.

  Another forgotten year. They paid me anytime they said my name.

  I smile as he hands me the skates along with a ten-dollar bill.

  “Midnight can’t come fast enough,” he says, going to let in Terra.

  She skates in, fully decked out in elbow and knee pads and a helmet. Give the girl a mouth guard, and she’s ready for a roller derby. After clearing out any potential hazards, including the coffee table, Cass disappears to avoid the madness. We half-skate and half-run around the living room, slapping each other whenever close enough. It’s exhausting, and as excited as twelve-year-old Hannah was about this, the twenty-two-year-old version calls it quits after ten minutes.

  Terra collapses beside me. She stretches out her legs, and her skates thud on the floor. “We should do this every week. Then I won’t need to go to the gym anymore.” She rolls her head toward me. “Happy birthday, Hannah.”

  I let her off the hook for saying my name, too tired to collect. “Thank you.”

  “So,” she says, sitting up, “any big plans for tonight?”

  She’s fishing to see if I know about the surprise party she has planned for later. I figured it out a few weeks ago after she asked for Cass’s number in case
she ever needed to track me down. Within a few hours, he was glaring at his phone and muttering vague threats all aimed at her.

  “You’ll have to ask Cass,” I tell her.

  “Well, whatever you end up doing, I hope you have fun!” Her voice shoots up an octave at the end. She pushes off the floor and offers me a hand, but I wave her off, comfortable where I am. “Tell Cass bye for me?”

  I nod. “See you later.”

  Her eyes bulge a little, but she recovers quickly. “Yeah, maybe we can get lunch tomorrow or something.”

  Before she blurts out every last detail I know she’s dying to tell me, she skates out the door. I force myself up and take off the Rollerblades. I set them by the couch and go in search of Cass. We have one item left to complete, but I want a quick shower.

  He’s on the bed, reading. I peel my shirt off on the way through and toss it at him. Without glancing up, he places the bookmark and follows me into the bathroom. And there goes any chance of my shower being quick.

  But it’s totally worth it.

  Cass sets the motorcycle helmet on my head, my hair still wet underneath.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  He kisses the tip of my nose and gives the perfect answer: “Nowhere.”

  The last year my parents and I spent together, we finished everything on the list and then got in the car and drove. For miles and hours. Through towns and countryside. Someone would call out a direction, and we’d turn, or the flip of a coin would decide our fate at an intersection, but a true destination never existed. We were driving to nowhere. It’s the last favorite memory I’ll ever have of them.

  Cass takes us out on the highway, but his speed stays relatively slow. For him anyway. We’re still passing every car in sight. I wonder if it’s because the light already flows through him, so there’s no need to terrify me. Or maybe he wants me to enjoy the ride for once. Either way, I tighten my hold on him and do just that.

  As he drives, he drags his fingertips across my skin, sending a tingle up my arm. He hates the fact that I’m in danger, but having his powers all the time must be incredible for him and the others. To feel the light consistently again after all this time, it’s what Cass has been wanting since having them taken away. Surely, that’s why he never brought up the possibility of becoming human. He’d never consider it as an option—and neither would I.

  Our ride ends at the bar for the party. Aware of the reaction Terra will have to the helmet hair, I run my fingers through it, doing what I can. I bend down to check the side mirror, and Cass steps behind me, his hands planting on my hips.

  “Tell me you want me to make everyone inside forget why they’re here.”

  I spin around, and he leans me back on the seat. “You could have made Terra forget she wanted to throw me a party in the first place, you know?”

  “Where was that advice two weeks ago?” He kisses me and backs away. “Let’s get this over with before I change my mind.”

  I receive one last eye roll on our way inside as a group yells, “Surprise!”

  Terra barrels into a girl, trying to get to me first. She throws her arms around me and bounces, and she really is amazing to care so much. “Were you surprised?”

  I nod, but the uncomfortably large smile spread across my face gives me away. She gives an exasperated sigh and hauls me across to the bartender for a drink. As we mingle, I pretend to know more than a few in attendance. Most are friends of Terra’s that I’ve met a few times at parties or the other mandated social outings. If it wasn’t for her, it would be a handful of people. Maybe the drunk guy Cass knows, who just so happens to be passed out at the end of the bar, which is exactly where Cass stays, drinking for both of them.

  Close to midnight, an arm slinks around me while I’m talking to Terra and Gabe. Cass pulls me away from them in the middle of our conversation, not acknowledging Terra’s objections. We head to the hall on the far end of the bar, and I slow down as we approach the men’s room.

  “What is it with you and public restrooms?”

  He turns around and walks backward, tugging me forward. “I’ll take you wherever I can get you.”

  But we pass them, and he backs out the exit at the end of the hallway. I glance over my shoulder as the door closes, leaving us alone in the gravel parking area behind the bar.

  “We can’t leave without saying goodbye to everyone.”

  He traps me in his arms, smirking. “We can’t?”

  The blinding light surprises me along with the heat. Once both fade away, my feet aren’t on rock anymore but sand. It’s not entirely dark either. A small sliver of the horizon above the ocean is still on fire from where the sun recently set. The waves roll onto the shore only a few feet away.

  I recognize the rock formation down the beach, my breaths coming harder. “Cass, what are we doing here?”

  “We’re adding something new,” he says.

  He unfolds the completed list, and it’s already written in at the bottom: Visit Brice and Fiona.

  My thumb rubs over the band on my finger as I remember the night I left them here. Where she always found peace and he made a lifetime worth of promises he would never be able to keep.

  These are the memories that always send me running. The absence of them so overwhelming that I need to get away from everything reminding me of them so that I can breathe. Only this time, instead of crashing over me all at once, the loss and heartache creep up like the water on the sand and retreat before drowning me. Tears fall on the paper, and I miss them so bad that it hurts, but I want to stay. Be close to them in whatever way I can.

  Cass lowers onto the sand, pulling me down with him. I sit back between his legs, and he rests his cheek against the side of my head. Night falls, everything around us quiet, except for the waves. I can’t imagine a better ending to the day he’s given me than watching the water with his arms around me.

  “Can we do this every year?”

  He kisses just below my ear. “We can do this whenever you want. Just say the word, and we’re here.”

  I fall further into him, not sure I ever want to move and risk losing how I feel at this exact moment. Where nothing can reach me because I’m safe with him.

  We stay a while longer, listening to the waves crash before Cass drags me to my feet. He kisses me as the world goes white. For an instant, we’re all that exists other than the light and its warmth. Then we’re back in the real world, our feet on gravel in the parking lot. Everyone’s gone home, the bar closed hours ago, and my birthday’s over.

  After we get back to the apartment, Cass walks into the bedroom with the long-forgotten grab bag. “You never chose anything.” He sets the sack in the middle of the mattress and slides onto the bed next to me. “I may have cheated though.”

  I sit on my knees. “Cass Daye, not playing by the rules? I refuse to believe it.”

  He half-smiles as I reach in. There’s only one item at the bottom.

  I suspiciously eye him and pull out the box, dark blue and velvet. “You got me a present?”

  “You really thought I wouldn’t?”

  He slides the box out of my hands and tips open the lid. On the velvet lies a white gold necklace with a star pendant. Cass and his stars. My finger runs over the diamond embedded in the center.

  “It’s perfect.” I look up and caress his cheek. “Thank you.”

  He pulls me onto his lap, so I’m straddling him. As he dangles the chain around my neck, an engraving on the back of the star catches my eye. I move my hair, so he can hook the clasp. Once he’s done, I flip over the pendant to see the inscription he chose.

  You’re my forever.

  “I mean it, Hannah.” He cups the side of my face, tilting my chin up. He stares into my eyes like I’m his sky, and I stop breathing. “I love you. You’re my one. There’s nothing else for me. There will never be anything but you.”

  Cass kisses me slow and deep, reinforcing every word. I
feel everything he feels for me and want nothing more than to disappear into it. Let him make me forget everything but him. Only this time, I can’t. His words are a promise of us always being together. The way he’s touching me and kissing me leaves no doubt that he’ll sacrifice the eternity he’s been waiting on, his immortality, to be with me.

  Except I won’t let him. I refuse to be the reason he loses everything.

  Cass said it himself. I’m his last Nephilim. After me, he finally goes home.

  He’ll return to Heaven when I die, and I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure he has his light when he does. Even if it means giving up a life with him, I’ll make sure it happens..

  Forever in love with him or not.

  The ring allows me to return to pre-demon Watcher duties once Hannah starts summer classes. Determined to graduate by December, she’s signed up for more than she planned. A full course load means the crystal ball and I need to become reacquainted with each other. It’s quite an adjustment from being at her side every second to hovering around the edge in case she needs protection.

  For the record, watching your girlfriend feels a hell of a lot more controlling than when it’s just your charge. And a hell of a lot more irritating in a number of situations.

  Like on Friday, some tool slides into the seat next to her at the beginning of her philosophy lecture. He leans over to chat her up. I crack my neck and take a long-ass drag off my cigarette, running through all the ways I’ll destroy him if he touches her. She hands the dude a pen, and his eyes wander all over her bare legs, lingering on the hint of cleavage her tank top shows. I wave my hand over the orb to clear the image before I drop in and fucking level him.

  The longer my powers hum through me on the low setting, the easier I can differentiate between the constant danger brought on from Donny’s plan and light from any added threats or spikes in adrenaline. So, as much as seeing her safe eases my mind, I limit my use of the ball for the next hour to keep from losing it over whatever else Pen Guy might pull. But the second she emerges from the building with him following like a puppy, I’m jogging across the street. I don’t stop until my mouth is on hers. It’s possessive as shit, but Hannah doesn’t seem to care. The strap of her bag falls off her shoulder, and she lets me gratuitously and unapologetically claim her until her shadow disappears.