The Bad Son (Suddenly a Parent)

by Linda Warren

  “What’s wrong?”

  “She…she…”

  Beau closed the door and took Zoë from her. “What’s the matter, little angel?” Beau laid Zoë on his shoulder, patting her back and she quieted down. He looked at Macy’s pale features. “What happened?”

  “I…ah…”

  “Take a deep breath,” he instructed.

  She drew in deeply and let out a ragged breath. “I…I woke up and took a peep at her and she was…was blue.” She pushed her hair away from her face. “Zoë wasn’t breathing. After I picked her up, she started screaming and breathing again.” She paused and took another deep breath. “Something is wrong, Beau. Something…if I hadn’t woken up…”

  “But you did and I think we better get her to the emergency room.”

  “Yes, yes. I’ll put on a pair of jeans.”

  Beau realized all he had on was pajama bottoms. He handed Macy the baby. “I’ll grab some clothes and get the car.”

  A look of fright crossed Macy face as she held Zoë.

  “It’ll be okay,” he told her.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Get dressed. I’ll be out front in less than two minutes. We’ll talk later.”

  In exactly two minutes Beau was in front of Macy’s condo. She came out with Zoë and a diaper bag. In ten minutes they were in the emergency room. Macy filled out papers and the doctor on duty took a look at Zoë. She slept peacefully and the doctor could find nothing wrong.

  “When I woke up, she wasn’t breathing and her face was blue,” Macy told him. “Something caused that.”

  “Ma’am, the baby is fine now. She has inspiratory stridor, which is very evident. Color change is a part of that and you should see your doctor to talk further with him. Try laying her on a pillow or at a thirty-degree angle. Other than that, ma’am, there’s nothing else we can do.”

  “Don’t call me ma’am and don’t patronize me. I want Dr. Pender to look at her.”

  “Ma…ah…Dr. Pender isn’t on-call and we can’t call him unless it’s an emergency.”

  “It’s an emergency to me.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t see this as an emergency.”

  Macy was about to lose it, so Beau stepped in. The doctor was a pompous ass and too young and arrogant for his own good. “Are you willing to take responsibility for this baby if something happens to her during the night?”

  The doctor looked at him as if he’d just crawled out from beneath a rock. “Listen…”

  Beau didn’t give him a chance to vent his opinion. “The hospital would be liable. I know. I’m a lawyer. Do you want to take that risk?”

  That seemed to do the trick. His expression changed completely. “I’ll call Dr. Pender.”

  “Thanks,” Macy said as the doctor walked out. “I was losing my temper and about ready to hit him.”

  “I could see that,” he replied, staring at Zoë who was asleep in her arms. “By looking at her, you wouldn’t think anything was wrong with her.”

  “I know. That’s what’s so scary.”

  The young doctor came back into the small room. “Dr. Pender wants to speak with you,” he said to Macy.

  “Sure.” She rose from her chair and handed Beau the baby. “I’ll be right back. Don’t take your eyes off her.”

  Beau took Zoë and sat in Macy’s chair. As he looked at her, she squirmed and blinked, then opened her eyes. Two orbs of dazzling blue seemed to peer at him and he wondered how far babies could see at this age.

  “Hi, little angel. Feeling better?”

  Zoë stretched and made a face. “Okay. I won’t ask questions. But I’m a lawyer and I’m used to doing that. Annoying, huh?”

  Her head titled to one side and she once again drifted into blissful sleep. Beau placed his hand over her small chest. He immediately felt the thud of her little heart. And it was strong. “What’s wrong, angel?” he whispered. “Is everything inside working the way it should? Your aunt fears it’s not, but don’t worry, we’ll both be here to make it better.”

  As he said the words he knew they were true. He’d warned Macy about getting emotionally involved, but he should have warned himself.

  He babysat Ben and Katie all the time. He’d had a car seat in his car until Katie got too big for it. At least once a month he took them to the movies and he enjoyed their excitement over the kiddie films. Sitting in the ice-cream shop with the two of them, he often wondered what it would be like to be a father.

  Holding Zoë, he had an overwhelming feeling of love and protection, much like what a father would experience. Did he want to be a father? In his thirties he would have said “yes” immediately. But he was forty-two now and he realized it was possible it would never happen. He thought about that for just a minute.

  As he sat there holding Zoë, he also realized it didn’t matter. Loving Macy was more important to him. If he had to give up fatherhood to have Macy in his life, then he would. For the first time he acknowledged how deeply he loved her, and to him, that was all that mattered.

  Macy came back and Beau glanced up. He stared at the freckles scattered across her nose and her curly hair sticking out in all directions. Why did he love her so much? He couldn’t answer that question. He just knew that he did.

  Clearing his throat, he asked, “What did he say?”

  “Dr. Pender has called an ear, nose and throat doctor and wants me take Zoë to see him at eight in the morning to check if something is obstructing her breathing. His name is Dr. Jim Fletcher.”

  “And in the meantime?”

  “He said to watch her closely and to lay her on her stomach in a tilted position to sleep. Also, to hold her in an upright position for thirty minutes after feeding her.”

  “We can handle that,” he said, getting to his feet.

  “Beau…”

  “Let’s go home.”

  Macy didn’t protest and soon they were back at the condo.

  “You want the first or second shift?” Beau asked.

  Macy looked up from placing Zoë on a pillow in the bassinet. “What are you talking about?”

  “We have about five hours until morning. We’ll take turns watching her because I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

  “Yes. I’ll be afraid to take my eyes off her.”

  “I don’t blame you, that’s why I’m offering to help.”

  Her eyes caught his, concerned but relieved. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “You can’t go on no sleep.”

  She brushed her hair from her face. “I need very little sleep.”

  “I’m aware of that, but humor me.” He picked up the bassinet. “You get a couple of hours sleep and I’ll keep the little angel in the living room with me.”

  “Beau…”

  “Macy…”

  “Okay.” She gave in. She put the formula and a bottle on the kitchen counter and scribbled a note. “Instructions in case she gets hungry.”

  “Got it. Now go to sleep.” He closed her door to make sure she’d have no distractions.

  MACY SLIPPED OUT of her jeans and curled beneath the sheets. She didn’t worry about Zoë. She trusted Beau completely.

  As she waited for sleep to claim her, thoughts tormented her. Was something wrong with Zoë’s heart? Had Dr. Pender missed something? There could be so many things and fear once again took control. She couldn’t handle losing another child. And this wasn’t her child. Deep inside, though, in secret places, Zoë was becoming hers.

  She threw back the covers and tiptoed to the door. Opening it a crack, she saw Beau sitting on the sofa, a cup of coffee on the end table, the TV humming senseless chatter and Zoë asleep on his chest. Everything was fine and she went back to bed, knowing she could sleep with Beau here.

  What would she do without Beau? Once again she was leaning on him. But for now she could do nothing else.

  WHEN MACY WOKE UP, she glanced at the clock. Six thirty! She jumped out of bed and ran into the living room. The bassin
et and sofa were empty. For a minute her heart threatened to pound out of her chest, then she saw Beau in the kitchen with Zoë on his shoulder. She smelled food. Was he cooking?

  “I’m sorry I overslept,” she said, taking Zoë out of his arms. Her hand brushed his cheek and she just wanted to lay her hand against his bare skin to feel his warmth, his strength and to let him soothe away all her worries.

  “You needed the rest.”

  “But you have to work today.”

  He brushed that off with a wave of his hand. “Doesn’t matter. How about French toast?”

  “I love your French toast.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “All the women say that.”

  “Well, it’s true.” Macy pulled the bassinet to the table, avoiding a personal comment. “You’re a good cook.”

  “I’ve lived on my own for a long time and takeout gets monotonous after a while.” He placed toast and coffee in front of her.

  “Thanks. How did Zoë do last night?”

  “No problems. I fed her about five and I followed your instructions to the letter on how to mix the formula. After I changed her diaper, she went back to sleep. She does seem to sleep better laying at an angle.” He refilled his coffee cup. “She took the bottle, but she doesn’t take the nipple very well. Some of the milk runs out of mouth and she pushes the nipple away, then she’s searching for it again.”

  “I know. That’s part of stridor, but there might be something more wrong with her throat. She hasn’t sucked very well from birth and she’s not gaining weight like she should.”

  “Maybe we’ll find some answers this morning.” He straddled a chair, sipping his coffee. His hair was tousled and he had a growth of beard. Her senses stirred with forbidden desires and she quickly dived into her toast.

  “Mmm. This is good.” She took a swallow of coffee. “I hate to ask another favor, but could you please watch Zoë while I take a quick shower?”

  “Sure, but make it fast. I have to shower and shave.”

  She looked up. “You’re not going to work, are you?”

  “No. I’m going with you. I had a hearing this morning, but one of my lawyers is filling in for me. I called him at five after I changed Zoë.”

  “Beau.” He didn’t want him to put his life on hold for her.

  “Go take a shower.”

  She hurried away because time was getting short and a part of her needed someone with her today.

  THE MORNING PROVED to be stressful. Dr. Fletcher and his assistant passed a thin, flexible tube that housed a light and a scope through Zoë’s nose. She squirmed and cried, not liking the procedure at all. It took Beau and Macy to hold her down and Macy cringed at the pain the procedure was causing Zoë. But it had to be done, she kept telling herself. She was so grateful Beau was with her.

  After they calmed Zoë down, they met in Dr. Fletcher’s office. He laid the pictures in front of them. “As you can see, there are no tumors or blockage in her throat.”

  “So why did she stop breathing?”

  “She has laryngomalacia, which Dr. Pender has told you. It’s commonly known as stridor or noisy breathing. It’s a sound produced by turbulent flow of air through a narrowed segment of the respiratory tract. As a nurse, Ms. Randall, I’m sure you’ve seen this before.”

  “When I trained in Dallas, I saw several cases. I’ve only seen very minor cases here.”

  Dr. Fletcher pointed to one of the pictures. “She was early, so her esophageal rings haven’t fully developed. That’s part of her problem. Laryngomalacia is usually a self-limited process that the infant will outgrow between twelve and eighteen months of age. Zoë just needs some time.”

  “Dr. Pender did inform you of my family’s medical history?” Macy asked.

  “Yes. Dr. Pender did a full work-up in the hospital and he faxed over the results. Rest assured there is nothing wrong with Zoë’s heart. Just watch her closely, keep her tilted and in an upright position most of the time, especially after feeding, and if anything else happens just call me.”

  “If she had died in her crib last night, it would have been called a crib death,” Macy murmured.

  “Possibly.”

  “That’s not acceptable to me,” Macy said. “Something is wrong.”

  Dr. Fletcher sighed. “I just told you what’s wrong. If there is another problem, it may take time to manifest other symptoms. Let’s give her time and I’ll check her again in a week.”

  Macy gathered Zoë and the diaper bag and they left, but Beau knew she was upset.

  “Everything he said sounded reasonable,” Beau told her. “Zoë just needs to grow and get stronger.”

  “I know, but why can’t I lose this feeling that something else is wrong?”

  He glanced at her. “It probably has to do with your own personal experience.”

  Her eyes caught his. “Do you think I’m paranoid?”

  “I think you’re just worried.” He maneuvered into traffic. “Try to relax. We’ll watch her closely and keep her tilted and follow the doctor’s instructions. I’ll drop you at the condo and I’ll be back later. I have to check in at the office just for a little while.”

  As she got out, she said, “We’ve taken up enough of your time. We’ll be fine. Take all the time you need.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “I’ll see you later.”

  She nodded, but didn’t say anything else as she went inside.

  Beau hurried to his office. Going through the reception area, he said, “In my office, Liz.”

  Liz was a step behind him.

  “How did it go this morning?”

  “Jon did great. Judge Wimple granted full custody of the two minor children to their mother, Mira Hodges.”

  “Great. I would have hated to see them go back to their father.” When the kids returned from visiting their father, they always had bruises. Mira finally got the younger girl to admit their father was hitting them. She contacted Beau and he’d worked for three months to get the hearing pushed through. He’d laid the case out for the judge and his decision was all they needed. He hated to miss it, but he had no choice. Early this morning he’d called Mira and she’d understood.

  This was one of those cases Beau didn’t fight to keep the family together. He recognized the abusive pattern in the father. The same pattern he saw in his own father. After Joe would hit Althea he’d apologize profusely and promise never to do it again. But he always did.

  “Mr. Hodges can only see the kids with supervision.”

  “That’s even better.”

  “The judge did query your absence,” Liz added. “Said you never miss a trial or a hearing and he wondered if you were ill.”

  Beau stopped looking through his messages. “What did Jon say?”

  “What you told him. That you had a family emergency.” Liz waited a moment, then her curiosity got the best of her. “So which family member is in a crisis now?”

  “Don’t pry, Liz.” He didn’t feel he needed to explain himself.

  “I take care of your affairs so I need to know what’s going on.”

  “Yes, you do.” He agreed with that part. “I have an announcement to make.”

  “Oh, mercy. Not today. I have a corn that’s killing me and I’ve had a headache since I woke up this morning. I don’t need any bad news.”

  “I’m not taking the offer in Dallas.”

  “Oh.” Liz’s eyes brightened. “My headache just left.”

  “But there will be some changes around here.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Like what?”

  “I won’t be spending so much time in the office and I won’t be taking on any more cases right now. I will speak to Jon, Natalie, Jeff and Gayle. They will be taking on a bigger load.”

  “So what’s my job?”

  “You will keep me posted on all cases and make sure this office runs smoothly, as always. I’ll be dropping in from time to time, but you can always reach me on my cell. It’s business as usual except I won’t be he
re as much.”

  She lifted an arched eyebrow. “And where will you be?”

  He walked around his desk and leaned against it, feeling a need to get everything out into the open. “I’ll be helping Macy take care of a little girl who’s going to need a lot of attention.”

  Liz placed her hands on her hips. “Beau McCain, I was hoping you were taking a cruise.”

  He winked. “Now do I look like a cruise type of guy?”

  “No. You have the biggest, softest heart of anyone I know. I wish I had a daughter to marry you off to.” She shook her head. “But someone has your heart and has for a long time.”

  Beau folded his arms. “Yeah.” He saw no need to be secretive about his feelings.

  Liz hugged him. “Good luck. And don’t worry about this office. I’ll make sure everyone stays in line.” She turned, then glanced back. “I’m really glad you’re staying.”

  “Thanks, Liz.”

  ON HIS WAY HOME he realized his parents were back and he needed to tell them he was staying in Waco. He didn’t have time for a visit so a phone call would have to do. He immediately poked out the number.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “Beau, dear. It’s good to hear from you.” There was a chill in her words. “Since we’re home, I was hoping you’d come by for a visit.”

  “Sorry, Mom, I’m busy.”

  “You work too hard.”

  “I have good news.”

  “Oh?”

  “I’m not taking the offer in Dallas.”

  “Oh, Beau. I’m so happy.”

  “I thought you would be.”

  There was silence for a moment, then, “I’m sorry I overreacted. I lean on you too much, I know, but…”

  “It’s okay, Mom. I understand. You don’t have to worry about the family falling apart again. We’re rock solid now. Not one of us would let that happen.”

  “Why don’t you come for dinner. I’ll fix anything you want.”

  “Thanks, but I have other plans.” To keep from hurting her feelings he told her about Macy and Zoë.

  “Oh, my. Delia left the baby?”

  “Yes, and Macy’s going to need a lot of help.”