The Bad Son (Suddenly a Parent)

by Linda Warren

  “You’ve seen my laundry.” He smiled.

  “Yes, and I really thought you were more observant.”

  “Men don’t notice things like that.”

  “Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes.

  The easy banter released some of the tension and she seemed to relax. He glanced at Zoë. “How is she?” The whole time they’d be talking neither had taken their eyes off of her for more than five seconds.

  “Sleeping peacefully, but she’ll be awake soon. It’s almost time for a feeding.”

  Beau walked over and looked down at the sleeping baby. “This could be over tomorrow. Zoë will be able to breathe like a normal child.”

  “Yes. We should have come to Houston sooner, but I was trying not to be paranoid. I wanted to trust the doctors at home.”

  He looked at her. “Try not to worry about the surgery. Dr. Cravey is very competent.”

  “I’ll try.” She looked away. “We better get some sleep. You could go to a hotel. You’d rest better there.”

  “No way. I’ve come this far and I’m not leaving now.”

  She didn’t try to talk him out of it. She would need him tomorrow. Macy took the bathroom first, staring a moment at the cobalt-blue silk pajamas and robe. She’d never bought anything like this for herself before. For her honeymoon years ago, she bought a white silk gown and robe. She’d packed it in with other clothes for the poor when she cleaned out the house she’d shared with Allen. All the memories from that life, she’d left behind. Only one memory remained—her baby.

  These days she didn’t need lingerie like this. Cotton was her fabric of choice, but the silk felt wonderful.

  When she came out of the bathroom, Beau just stared at her, his dark eyes melting like the sweetest chocolate. She could almost taste the sweetness, the decadent…

  “I’m done in there,” she said to hide her nervousness.

  “Oh. Yeah.” Beau seemed distracted, then grabbed a bag and went into the bathroom.

  For years she’d avoided looking for those signals from Beau. Signals that told her he saw her as an attractive woman—a woman he desired. She blew out a hot breath. She could always control her feelings, but tonight they were tempting her like a ripe strawberry sliding through rich cream. She allowed herself a moment of pure indulgence and the moment dragged on as the fantasy of Beau loving her captured her completely.

  The nurse came in with a bottle for Zoë and she came back to reality with a thud. But she didn’t regret the lapse. She actually enjoyed it—maybe a little too much.

  BEAU TOOK A COLD SHOWER. When he’d bought the blue silk, he knew it would be gorgeous on her. More to the point, she’d look gorgeous in it. And did she. His pulse still hammered loudly in his ears.

  It was an impulse buy, which was something he’d heard women talk about. He wasn’t a fan of shopping. He bought what he had to and that was it. But today he’d enjoyed buying clothes for her and imagining her in them. It kept his mind off of what they had to face tomorrow.

  The doctor had said the procedure was safe and he had to believe her. At the back of his mind, he was worried about Macy handling surgery of another child. But this one would have a happy ending. It had to.

  When he walked into the room in his navy cotton pajamas and robe, Macy was feeding Zoë. She stood and placed the baby in the crib.

  Beau reached over and kissed Zoë. “’Night, little angel.”

  “That was the last bottle before the surgery,” Macy said. “Let’s hope she doesn’t wake up wanting another. We better get some rest. You can have the recliner and I’ll sit by her bedside.” As he started to complain, she held up a hand. “You sleep first then I’ll sleep a couple of hours.”

  Beau didn’t argue as he flipped off the light and slipped into the recliner. “This might be our last night doing this,” he murmured.

  “I hope so.”

  The room became quiet. A night-light illuminated the small space, making shadows dance on the wall. Noises from the hall sounded like thunder, magnified by the visions in their heads.

  “Are you thinking about your daughter?” He broached the subject with a bit of trepidation.

  “Some,” she whispered.

  Relieved at her answer, he asked, “What was her name?”

  “Hope.”

  “That’s pretty. I like it.” He paused. “Did she have fuzzy strawberry-blond hair?”

  “No. It was more blond, like Allen, but she looked a lot like Zoë, except she weighed seven pounds at birth.”

  “I’m so sorry you lost her.”

  He heard a hiccup. “She never had a chance.”

  “You can’t keep blaming yourself for that.”

  There was a long pause. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Macy, it was wrong for Allen to blame you,” he said, ignoring that warning in her voice.

  “He never came out and said it was my fault.” The words seemed to come from deep within her. “We couldn’t talk anymore and we both were so sad. It was just something in the way he looked at me.”

  “He was hurting, Macy.”

  “I know. He wanted me to go to counseling, but I couldn’t share that pain. It’s so deep and private. I’ll never get over it.”

  Silence filled the room and Beau could almost read her thoughts. It’s happening again.

  “Tomorrow will be different,” he said. “Zoë is older, stronger and her heart is fine.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Macy, I will be here for you and Zoë. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, and you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t even be here with me. You should be taking care of a family of your own, having your own kids.”

  “Maybe, but first I need to find a mother for them.”

  The silence this time was long and awkward. “Beau…”

  “Good night, Macy.” He didn’t want to hear what she had to say. He’d heard it before and he was sick of it. Tonight he’d rather go to sleep with the fantasy of her in his head.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE NEXT MORNING, Beau was barely through shaving when the nurse came for Zoë. Macy held her, kissing her cheeks, her forehead. Zoë was hungry and wanting her bottle so she was more than fussy. She was irritable.

  Beau took her, cradling the baby against him and patting her back. “This is it, little one. Today the doctor is going to make it all better.” He kissed her head, hoping and praying his words were true as he handed her to the nurse.

  They followed the crib as far as they could. Zoë looked at them with big blue eyes and they stood holding hands as the nurse took her away.

  Beau watched Macy pace. She kept trying to sit but was up and down like a yo-yo. They didn’t talk much. The time seemed to drag.

  “Try to relax,” he finally said.

  “I can’t. I’m so worried.”

  “Macy…”

  He stopped as Dr. Cravey came into the waiting room and motioned to them. They hurried to meet her in the hall.

  “How did it go?” Macy asked in a rush.

  “Fine. Zoë is in recovery and you can see her in a few minutes. She’ll sleep for a while. Everything went as planned. I removed the excess tissue with a laser and Zoë is now breathing normally.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful.” Macy held her hands against her face in relief.

  “Will it grow back?” Beau asked.

  “No. It’s just excess benign tissue.”

  “When can we take her home?”

  “I’d like to keep her a couple of days to ensure there is no bleeding. They’ll put her in a room later today, but you don’t have to watch her all the time now. You’ll realize that when you see her.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Cravey,” Macy said. “Thank you.”

  “Yes,” Beau added. “Thank you for everything.”

  Dr. Cravey nodded. “Now you can all breathe normally again.”

  As Dr. Cravey walked away, Macy turned to him. “Thank you for being here.”

&n
bsp; He shrugged. “No problem.”

  They stared at each other for endless seconds, then Macy threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He felt her tremble. She didn’t let go as he expected her to. Her hands cupped the back of his head and her soft body pressed into his. His heart skipped a beat. She kissed the side of his neck and her lips trailed to his cheek. He turned his head and their lips met in a blending of pure need, fueled by the years of friendship, sadness and joy. And much more. She opened her mouth and he kissed her like he’d been dreaming about. They were lost in the moment, the undeniable feelings they couldn’t ignore. Neither seemed inclined to stop.

  As people started coming down the hall, they slowly drew apart. “Thank you,” she whispered again, stepping back, her eyes dark with emotion.

  He nodded, unable to speak. But those two little words meant as a courtesy didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t want politeness or good manners from her. He wanted passion, as hot as possible. The spark was there. He’d just felt it. He just had to work on igniting it.

  They made their way to the recovery room. It was full of cribs partitioned off with long curtains. A nurse took them to Zoë. Another nurse was removing her IV. Zoë lay on her back, sleeping peacefully. And breathing without a problem. No noises. Macy caught her breath at the wonderful sound.

  Beau reached for her hand and held it. She squeezed until his fingers were numb.

  “Can you hear it?” she whispered.

  “Yes. It’s unbelievable.”

  The nurse looked puzzled. “I don’t hear a thing,” she said.

  “That’s what we hear, too,” he told her. “She’s been wheezing almost from the moment she was born.”

  “Oh.”

  “It’s over. I can’t believe it’s finally over. Zoë is okay. I…” Tears trailed down Macy’s cheeks and she ran from the room.

  The nurse looked even more puzzled.

  “It’s been an emotional time,” he explained.

  The nurse nodded and Beau quickly went after Macy.

  FINDING AN EMPTY WAITING ROOM, Macy sank into a chair. Seeing Zoë breathing so naturally caused all the pent-up emotions she’d been feeling in the past three months to come to the surface. Months of hell were now over. Months of praying that they didn’t slip up and let Zoë die. Zoë was going to be fine. That was an incredible gift.

  She wiped away tears with a shaky hand and realized she was an emotional wreck. She had to pull herself together. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she allowed herself to relax. As she did other feelings surfaced. Her forefinger touched her lips. She’d kissed Beau—something she’d wanted to do for years. She hadn’t even thought about it. After all they’d been through, she wanted to be as close to him as possible. It was everything she knew it would be. Tender, sensual and toes-curled-into-her-shoes good.

  What was she going to do about Beau?

  Love him. Have a life with him. The answer was so simple, yet she couldn’t do it. Beau loved kids and he deserved his own. She couldn’t give him that. Yesterday she let herself entertain the idea of a life with him. But today her defenses were back and she couldn’t think beyond that one little, but big, obstacle.

  Her heart felt heavy and she curled her hands into fists. A part of her wanted to be selfish and take what he was offering. But she couldn’t do that to Beau. She loved him too much.

  “Macy.”

  She looked up to see Beau staring at her with a worried expression.

  “Are you okay?”

  She inhaled a deep breath. “Yes. I am now. It’s just been an emotional time. Seeing Zoë breathing so normally was just overwhelming.”

  “I know. We did the right thing in coming here. Zoë’s better. I’m just a little upset that the doctors at home couldn’t have figured this out. Dr. Cravey found it almost instantly.”

  “I don’t have any strength left to be angry. Dr. Cravey said she would be writing Dr. Fletcher a letter. At least he’ll be aware of the problem and maybe someone else won’t have to go through this.” She brushed away an errant tear. The tears weren’t only for Zoë. They were for the man standing in front of her, who she’d soon have to let go.

  “Let’s have some breakfast,” he suggested. “The nurse said we have a little while before Zoë wakes up.”

  “Okay.” She stood. “I could use a cup of coffee and some food.”

  “They just might have donuts,” he teased.

  “Mmm. Sounds good.”

  They started toward the cafeteria. “Macy,” someone shouted.

  She turned to see her father strolling toward them. Tall with graying brown hair, he was noticeably thin. Years ago, he’d been heavier. Delia had said that the new wife had him on a strict diet and exercise program. At fifty-six the years were beginning to show around his eyes and mouth.

  “Macy, I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said as he reached her.

  She frowned. “Dad, what are you doing here?”

  “I called your condo but you never answered, so I phoned your mother and she said Delia had left the baby and the baby was having surgery here in Houston. I’m surprised you didn’t call me. I don’t live that far away.”

  “Excuse me?” she said, trying to control her temper. “I did call you and you wanted nothing to do with Delia or her baby.”

  “Beau McCain, isn’t it?” Her father glanced at Beau with a gleam of recognition, totally ignoring her words.

  Beau shook his hand. “Yes. How are you, Ted?”

  “Fine.”

  Beau looked from one to the other. “I’ll check on Zoë.”

  “No.” Macy stopped him. “There’s no need for you to leave. I have nothing to say to my father.”

  “I would like to talk to you, Macy,” Ted said.

  She hadn’t seen her father in ten years. They talked on the phone but that was it. She avoided all his attempts to see her. Now he wanted to talk. The man who she’d thought could do no wrong had done the unforgivable—walked out on his family. There was nothing left to be said.

  She caught that look in Beau’s eyes and she knew what he was trying to tell her—talk to your father. Beau believed in families working their problems out, but there was nothing that could fix the Randall family. Then why was she hesitating? Why didn’t she walk off and leave her father standing there? Just as he’d left them.

  Because Beau was watching her, expecting her to do the right thing. Damn you, Beau. Without a word she turned and walked back into the waiting room. Her father followed.

  Ted sat beside her. “I know you’ve been angry with me for a long time.”

  “Yes.” There was no reason to deny it.

  “Sometimes things happen between a man and a woman that their kids don’t understand.”

  She glared at him. “I wasn’t a kid, I was a grown woman. An explanation would have helped.”

  “Some things are private,” he replied, not batting an eye.

  “Oh, please.” She folded her arms around her waist. “You gave me this spiel when I was twenty-four. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. Why can’t you just be honest and say you fell in love with someone else? Why can’t you admit that you cheated on Mom?”

  “Because I didn’t.”

  For a moment she was stunned. He was telling her the truth. She knew her father’s voice very well. “Then why?” was all she could say.

  “Just accept that my leaving had nothing to do with the way that I feel about you and Delia. You’re my girls. I love you.”

  She tried to stop the words, but she couldn’t. “Is that why you never visited? Is that why you missed our birthdays, the holidays? The card with the money in it was always a loving sentiment.”

  He sighed. “I was going through a rough time, but my behavior to my children was unforgivable.”

  That took the wind right out of her lungs. He was talking like the father she’d loved and that brought back so many memories. She quickly pushed them away.

  “I
have tried to see you in the last few years and you’ve refused.”

  “Yes. Can you blame me?”

  “No, not really.” There was an awkward moment, then he asked, “How’s the baby?”

  Now they were on safer ground. She told him about Zoë and her health problems.

  “But she’s fine now?”

  “The doctor says she will be.”

  He shook his head. “You’re the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever known. Not many sisters would do what you’ve done.”

  She twisted her fingers together. “Zoë needed someone.”

  “Like every abused animal?”

  She had to force herself not to smile. As a child, they had that conversation many times. Macy, you can’t help every animal. Macy, no more animals in this house. I love you, Macy.

  Forgotten words that she needed to remember. Or maybe not. They made her weak and she couldn’t let her father get to her.

  “Have you heard from Delia?” Ted asked after a minute.

  “No, but Caleb McCain is looking for her.”

  “Still have a crush on Beau?”

  Her eyes flew to his.

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Guess I’m still not supposed to say that.”

  “Beau and I are very good friends,” she said in her most serious voice.

  “If you say so.”

  Her father knew everything about her and that was a bit daunting. Some girls kept diaries, but she’d told her father her secrets and her dreams. And he had crushed them all without a second thought.

  She stood. “I have to get back to Zoë.”

  “Do you mind if I see my granddaughter?”

  Macy was taken aback. Why was he showing interest after ten years? Why now? Something in her wouldn’t allow her to say no and she hoped she didn’t live to regret it. She nodded and he followed her down the hall.

  Ted could only see Zoë for a few minutes, but he said he’d be back tomorrow. That surprised her even more.

  She didn’t have long to ponder what had happened with her father. Zoë woke up crying and it took all of Macy and Beau’s efforts to calm her down. Finally Macy rocked her and that did the trick. The bottle helped, too. Zoë was hungry, but she didn’t take it as well as Macy thought she would. Then she realized her throat was probably sore. The baby fell asleep again and they soon moved her to a private room.