The House

by A. O'Connor

  “After Ireland was givenindependence the Armstrongs evacuated from the house, fearing reprisal. But this was her opportunity to break free of Pierce and she refused to leave with them. She intended to wait in the house for Jonathan to come for her. Then the republicans came, removed her forcibly and burned the house down. She never spoke of what happened that night fully. She returned to London in disgrace. When Pierce discovered she was leaving him for good and there was nothing he could do about it, he immediately filed for divorce, citing her adultery. For a woman to be divorced on those grounds back then was a scandal. She didn’t contest it. She was thirty-three when she arrived back in London. If she had been born ten years later and never met Pierce she might have been one of those bright young things of the twenties you hear about. From what I know that era would have suited her perfectly. But she was born just ahead of her time, and broke all the conventions of her time. Her family, my family, were horrified by the scandal of the divorce. Their connections managed to keep it out of the papers, but everyone in society knew about it and her affair with Seymour. She became persona non grata. She was sent down to her grandmother’s estate in the countryside and that’s where she lived quietly for the rest of her life.”

  “I see.” Kate picked up one of the photos and stared at it.

  “You look disappointed,” Amanda said.

  “I’m very disappointed for her.”

  “Were you hoping she would have gone on and done something dramatic with her life? We don’t expect people like her to drift into ordinariness, do we?We expect people like her to be as glamorous and exciting all their lives. But people break, and then if they are allowed to be ordinary that’s the best they can hope for. I just remember everyone saying it was a shame what became of her – that she had been a great beauty, the centre of everyone’s attention, had married intothe aristocracy. I suppose she was quietly destroyed by her experiences.”

  “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that. I thought – I don’t know what I thought.”

  “She followed her heart, and that was her undoing. But then we can’t help where our heart takes us, can we, Mrs Fallon?”

  “No – no, we can’t,” sighed Kate.

  Amanda studied her. “What troubles you, Mrs Fallon?”

  “Sorry?”

  “Women don’t go around chasing fantasies from a hundred years ago when they are happy with their own lives.”

  “I wasn’t chasing a fantasy. I was just –”

  “Returning photos and letters of Clara to her family. I know and thank you. Well, you found out what happened to her, but I don’t think it’s given you any answers.”

  “I don’t know what I was looking to find out. I felt I had some bond with her. Maybe in the same way I always bonded with the characters I played. I felt I knew her and could feel her in the house. Maybe I wanted to be her. We bought the house from Pierce’s grandson, Nicholas– Nico – Collins. And he told me about her, about her affair with Jonathan Seymour. We employed him to renovate our house and got to know him very well.”

  “Yes, Pierce did get married again much later, to a lovely young Dublin socialite. He seemed to have attracted the same type as Clara again. They were married only a short while before he was killed in the Second World War, before he had a chance to destroy that girl’s life like he had with Clara.They had a daughter, I believe?”

  “Yes, Jacqueline, who was Nico’s mother.”

  “She has passed away?”

  “Yes, a few years ago, I believe.”

  Amanda nodded and looked at the floor.

  “And what’s Pierce’s grandson, Nicholas Collins, like?” Amanda asked.

  “Oh, he’s – he’s a little bit arrogant, takes himself quite seriously, cynical.Can be sarcastic at times, but amusing.” Kate smiled.

  Amanda studied her. “And does Nico Collins know you’ve fallen in love with him?”

  Kate looked at her and blinked a few times.

  “Oh,” nodded Amanda knowingly. “It’s that serious, is it?”

  Kate said nothing.

  Amanda sat forward. “If you felt Clara was somehow communicating with you, maybe she was warning you. Warning you not to let your emotions run away with you. Not to ruin your life over thinking you want someone, that the reality is very different from what you might think it is.”

  Kate wordlessly picked up the brooch and gave it to Amanda.

  Amanda glanced at it briefly and handed it back to Kate. “You keep this. I think it will mean more to you than to me.”

  “Thank you.” Kate took it and put it in the briefcase and then took out a DVD.

  “There’s a film also. We found an old film roll taken of Clara at a party in the house.” She handed it to Amanda.

  The front door of the apartment opened and closed, and a tall distinguished man came intothe lounge.

  “Oh, hello there,” he said.

  Amanda and Kate stood up.

  “Mrs Fallon, this is my husband, Harry Beaumont – I use my maiden name, Charter, in my professional life.”

  “Ah, you’re the lady who was bringing the photos over from Ireland.”

  “Yes,” said Kate.

  “Very kind of her to track us down, don’t you think?” said Amanda. “Is there anything else we can do for you, Mrs Fallon?”

  Kate picked up her briefcase. “I’d better be going. I have to get to the airport.”

  “I’ll show you to the door,” said Amanda as she led her down the corridor.

  “Nice meeting you,” said Kate to Harry and she followed Amanda.

  Harry walked over to the coffee table, picked up the photos and began to lookthrough them.

  Amanda came back into the room.

  “Strange woman,” she said.

  “Did you find out what she wanted?” asked Harry.

  “She wanted to know what happened to Clara.”

  “And did you tell her?”

  “No, Harry, I’m not in the habit of discussing personal family business and secrets with strangers. Besides, she’s friends with Pierce Armstrong’s grandson Nico. We certainly don’t want the Armstrongs finding out the truth at this stage. Let sleeping dogs lie.”

  He studied the photo of Clara. “Do you ever regret what Clara chose to do?”

  “No, she made the right choice.”

  She crossed over to the DVD player and placed the tape in it.

  The film of Clara at the party came on the screen. Amanda watched it intently. It was only then that Harry saw Amanda’s ice-cool exterior crack as her eyes filled with tears.

  “Seeing her there in her youth, so full of life. I heard what she was like but to actually see it . . .” She trailed off.

  Harry smiled and put an arm around her.

  Chapter One Hundred and two

  Kate was seated at the island in the kitchen on a Sunday morning, thinking about her visit to Amanda Charter. Ever since the meeting, she’d had a strange empty and sad feeling. She had felt this way before. When she had been making a movie, she gave it her all and then when it was finished she felt somehow dissatisfied. And now as she looked around the house she had put so much into, she had that same dissatisfied feeling, made all the more acute after hearing the fate of Clara.

  Tony came down the old servants’ stairs that led directly there from upstairs, in his dressing gown.

  He bent over and kissed her. “I’m heading to Dublin this afternoon.”

  “On a Sunday?” Kate was surprised.

  “I’m afraid so. I’ve a couple of people to meet, and I have to be out on site at the mall first thing in the morning.”

  She looked at his tired and hassled face and went over to him and hugged him. “Aren’t you overdoing it a bit?”

  He laughed dismissively. “I live my life overdoing it!”

  “It’s just I thought when we bought this place and moved here you would be able to take it a little easier.”

  “I will do once I get over the hurdles with the mall. Promise.
”

  “But will there always be another shopping mall to build?” She looked at him with a resigned air.

  “Will you be all right here on your own?”

  “Of course I will.” She smiled at him.

  They had breakfast in the kitchen and went for a walk down by the lake, before she waved him off in the early afternoon. Then she took out her favourite horse and rode down to the local village and back. She liked the village at the weekends because everyone was down from Dublintotheir holiday homes there. She managed to just get back to the house before it started to rain.

  She had a bath in the evening and the rain started to become heavier and soon was pelting against the window as she relaxed in the bath. Afterwards, she came downstairs dressed in jeans and shirt and, opening the security panel on the wall, activated the security system. As she tried to snap out of the deflated feeling she had, she realisedshe’d had this restlessness for the past few months and it was like she was directing it into Clara and the effort to try to find out what had happened to her. But maybe it was as Amanda Charter had said, she wasn’t happy in her own life. As the rain became heavier and turned intoa storm, she closed over the long glamorous drapes in the drawing room and threw some wood and turf on to the fire, watching it turn intoa blaze. She then settled back on the sofa.

  The rain was lashing down outside and the wind was howling as she looked around the room. As she thought about all she had learned about Clara, she imagined her there in that room, the exact same room just separated by time. The loneliness and despair she must have felt trapped in her loveless marriage. The horror she must have felt at being told she would never be allowed to leave him or the house. And suddenly the house seemed very different to her. It wasn’t a home lovingly restored, an echo from another era, a kinder more elegant era.

  The echo was in fact not a nice one. It was an echo of a woman’s misery. And the house had known Clara’s secrets and had kept her secrets. And what other secrets did the house have from other people who had lived there at different times? What else had happened in the house? As she heard thunder outside she suddenly felt herself becoming nervous and wished Tony was there.

  Suddenly the lights went out and she was plunged into darkness. She jumped up, scared, and tried to figure out the silhouettes in the darkness. She moved quickly to the door but tripped over something and went flying to the floor. She pulled herself up and carefully felt her way to the door. Opening it, she walked intothe halland tried the light switches there several times before she realised the electricity was gone throughout the house. She looked around the darkness of the hallway and could make out the arched window at the top of the stairs and just about see the rain against it. She thought about going to the kitchen and looking for a torch, but she didn’t want to make her way through the dark corridors that led down there. She could hear a banging somewhere outside like an unbolted stable door. But as she realised the security system would be down, she wondered if it could be somebody trying to break in. She made her way to the sideboard and felt her way around until she found her car keys. Then she went to the front door and unbolted it, and raced out intothe night. The rain pelted down on her as she raced across the forecourt to her car and jumped in. She started it up and raced down the avenue.

  Minutes later she swung into the driveway of Hunter’s Farm. She jumped out of the car, and ran through the rain and started ringing the doorbell incessantly.

  “Who the fuck is it?” demanded Nico as he swung the door open.

  Kate jumped into his arms, holding him tightly, looking terrified.

  Kate had changed out of her wet clothes and came intothe sitting room, wearing a bathrobe.

  Nico had a pot of tea waiting and poured her a cup, handing it to her as she sat on the couch.

  “Are you all right?” he asked, concerned, sitting opposite her.

  “Yes . . .I’m sorry for just barging in on you like this.” She felt embarrassed. “I got so frightened.”

  “Frightened of what?”

  “The house, I guess. I suppose there’s a reason these big old houses used to have so many servants living in them. It’s not like a normal house where you just run intothe kitchen to find a candle.I didn’t fancy that maze of corridors in the darkness to get there.” She sipped her tea.

  As he looked at the indomitable Kate, he couldn’t imagine she scared easily, and seeing this new vulnerable side to her was a revelation.

  She looked at him. “I managed to track down a relative of Clara Charter’s in London and met her to give her back the letters and photos.”

  “You did?” His eyes widened with amazement.

  “Yes, eventually. Houses are permanent, people aren’t. The people who live there come and go, but the houses remain, a witness to the lives unfolding there. To the secrets. From what I heard Clara’s life was very difficult in our house. I’ve been dwelling a lot on what she went through and I just caught a fear tonight in the house. A fear of the house bearing testimony to what went on there. And not just Clara, but everyone else who lived there from Lord Edward and Lady Anna onwards. You like to think your house, your home, has only good memories, but that’s not always true.”

  “Maybe you’re better off not knowing, Kate.”

  She shook her head.

  “Look, it’s probablyjust a fuse blown in the house,” he said. “We can check it in the morning . . . You can stay here tonight.”

  “No! Thanks, but no, I’ll go to a hotel in Castlewest,” she said quickly.

  “Don’t be stupid, Kate, it’s after midnight now. The hotel receptions will be closed for the night. I won’t have you going off at this time to town to try and find a room to stay in– Tony would never forgive me!”

  She looked at him quizzically. “Would you not be more worried if he found out I stayed the night here?”

  Nico looked puzzled. “No – why would I be?”

  She didn’t say anything for a while before saying, “What do you think of me and Tony, Nico?”

  “What do I think of you?”

  “Yes, now you’ve got to know us.”

  “Well –eh,” he smiled. “I think you’ve got it made. You’re the dream couple. You have it all.”

  “So we seem happy to you?”

  “Of course you do. What have you got not to be happy about?”

  “A lot. I don’t love Tony any more. I haven’t for a long time. I’ve tried to convince myself I do, but I don’t. I’ve tried everything to make our marriage work, more for Tony’s sake than mine. You see, he does still love me.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “I’ve been going through the motions for a long time. Our life was this merry-go-round and I thought at first we had just lost sight of each other. That if we could get rid of everything else, the parties, the meetings, the business, and there was just us, I could get the feelings I once had for him back. Then I saw the house for sale, your house. And I remembered it so well from growing up. And I thought this was a chance to put our lives on the right track. That we could start again almost. We could move down here away from all the distractions of Dublin and the jet-set life we live and it would be just me and Tony and I could be the wife he deserves. We could have an easier pace of life and find each other again. Remember what it was like when we fell in love with each other at the beginning. I’d hoped then we could start a family here, have children and live happily ever after in our house.”

  “But Tony adores you.”

  “I know he does. But I’m only deceiving myself and him. I keep thinking what you said once about your marriage, that you were still in love, just couldn’t live together anymore. Whereas the way I feel with Tony is that I’m so comfortable with him I could live with him forever, I just don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. When I heard about your grandfather’s first wife, Clara, I thought somehow I could identify with her. Especially when I found out about her affair with Jonathan Seymour. I thought maybe she was like me – trapped. And then
I met with the relative, Amanda Charter, in London. Clara was trapped all right. But not the way I was. She was in love with her husband Pierce but he made her life hell.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “It’s what her relative told me in London.”

  “Well, she would, wouldn’t she?”

  “Yes – in the same way you’ll defend your grandfather. The truth is you both only know what you’ve been told. But I’m not relying on other people’s testimonies about my life. I’m here and I’m living it.Tony tries his best to make me happy, but he knows, deep down, that I’m not.”

  Nico shook his head. “And what are you going to do?”

  “That I don’t know, Nico. Since it’s a night for confessions . . . when I met you, something happened to me that I didn’t understand, and I’ve been fighting it ever since. I found myself falling for you. And by the time I realised that, I was in too deep. You were a threat, Nico. A real threat to me facing up to myself and my marriage and my life. And that’s why I wanted you away from me. That’s why I pleaded with Tony not to employ you. My feelings for you were too dangerous.”

  Nico stared at her. “You’re being very honest with me . . . you’re very brave.”

  “I’m only being brave because it’s over, Nico. I’ve finished with those feelings for you. I’ve forced myself to put you out of my mind.”

  “For you to concentrate on Tony?”

  “For me to concentrate on getting my life right.”

  They sat in silence for a long while before she stood up. “I’m very tired. Can you show me to my room?”

  He nodded then led her up the stairs and opened a door.

  “Thanks,” she said, closing the door quickly.

  Outside, the rain continued to pour down. Across the road in a lay-by, Tony sat in his car watching the lights go off in Hunter’s Farm.

  There was an awkwardness the next morning between Kate and Nico as she came downstairs intothe kitchen, dressed in her dried clothes.

  “Perhaps you could take a look at that fuse box for me this morning? I don’t fancy the day without electricity.”