by Marin Thomas
“Coming!”
Hannah crawled to her feet and flushed the toilet, then gargled with mouthwash. She hoped her morning sickness would go away so she could make it to the rodeo in Los Alamos without having to ask Alonso to pull off the road. Every morning she was reminded that she carried a baby, and she waited with anticipation for that first feeling of joy to overcome her, but so far nothing. She blamed it on the uncertainty that shrouded her relationship with Alonso.
“You want me to drive?” he asked when she stepped onto the porch.
She held out the keys. “That would be great, thanks.” He opened the truck door for her and she noticed his frown.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, why?”
“You look miffed.”
“I’m fine.” He shifted into Drive, then turned on the radio.
He was mad.
She yawned. Her morning date with the toilet had exhausted her. “I hope being away from home improved Luke’s attitude about ranch chores.” As her pregnancy advanced she’d need his help even more, and she worried that he would grow to resent the baby.
“Try to keep your expectations in check.”
“Are you speaking from your experience at the Gateway Ranch?”
“You remembered the name.”
She paid attention to everything Alonso said, because she cared about him. More than was good for her heart. “Your time there didn’t turn you around immediately?”
“It did and it didn’t. I was a different person at the ranch. When I went home to the barrio, I reverted to the old Alonso so I wouldn’t get beat up.”
“Luke’s lost several friends since our father died. If he stays out of trouble, I’m hoping he’ll win some of them back.” A lull in conversation ensued and Hannah searched for a new topic. He hadn’t mentioned the baby since he’d asked if she’d scheduled a doctor’s appointment. “Have you been thinking about baby names?” He glanced at her, eyes wide with surprise. “What?” she asked. “Did you not think I’d let you have a say in naming our baby?”
He shrugged, but didn’t offer any suggestions. Maybe he didn’t care.
“I made an appointment for next week with a doctor in Albuquerque.”
“Good.”
“Don’t mention it to Luke.” When he frowned, she said, “I know what you’re thinking.”
“You do?”
“You think because I want to keep my pregnancy a secret that I’m still not sure about keeping the baby.” When he didn’t protest, she knew she’d guessed right. “I’m keeping the baby.”
His hands tightened on the wheel and his mouth flattened into a firm line. When he didn’t immediately respond, Hannah’s stomach grew queasy for a second time that morning. “Is it that you don’t want to be a father or you don’t want to be the father of my baby?”
“It’s not that... It’s...”
“What?” Why couldn’t he just spit it out?
“I’ve experienced a lot of bad in this world. I grew up around gangs. I’ve seen what human beings are capable of doing to each other and it’s not a good place to raise a child.”
Hannah took comfort in learning that it wasn’t her being the mother of his child that worried him. She didn’t want to make light of Alonso’s childhood or the struggles he’d faced growing up in a large city. And after losing his friends in Afghanistan, she couldn’t blame him for believing the world was a crappy place.
“There’s still plenty of good and kindness out there.” Good grief, he was an example of that—he’d saved Joseph’s life. And he was helping her with the ranch while Luke was away. “I haven’t seen all the bad you have. Maybe that’s the beauty of living a rural life. We see and hear about all the bad in the world on TV but we’re mostly removed from it.”
“Hannah, you’re not removed from it. There’s an ugly side of Paradise if you care to look closely.”
She opened her mouth to defend her town, then snapped it shut. Her neighbor had tried to take advantage of her. Someone was destroying her property. And two delinquents had held up the convenience store. Okay, so the town of Paradise wasn’t a true paradise, but it wasn’t a horrible place to live, either.
“If you’re tired of city life why don’t you move to a smaller town?” Somewhere closer to Paradise.
“There aren’t many positions for trauma surgeons in smaller hospitals.”
Hannah couldn’t picture herself living anywhere but the ranch, and Alonso’s future would always be in a large hospital where he could help the most people. She’d better wrap her head around the idea that he might only see her and the baby once in a while. Other than a check in the mail every month, she couldn’t count on him to help her raise their child.
Alonso switched lanes and took the exit off the highway. Two stoplights later he turned right and a half mile down the road he pulled into the fairgrounds.
“Looks like a big crowd today.” He handed the attendant a five-dollar bill, then followed the line of vehicles and parked in the next available space.
“Did Maria say when the boys would arrive?”
“The rodeo starts at one.” He hopped out, then came over to her side of the truck and held the door open for her. “They should be here soon.” He took her hand and they walked to the entrance. “We have time to kill. Let’s check out the livestock barns.”
The warmth of Alonso’s touch cajoled Hannah into forgetting her worries—at least for now. Time passed quickly as he talked about rodeo and bucking horses. She half listened to his spiel, her focus falling by the wayside when he placed his hand against her back or touched her shoulder. She could get used to this man being in her life every day.
“Hannah!” Luke jogged toward them. Hannah tugged her hand free from Alonso’s grip and hugged her brother.
“You look like a real cowboy in that getup,” she said.
Luke shook Alonso’s hand. “Glad you guys are here. My ride’s at one thirty.”
“Saddle bronc?” Alonso asked.
Luke nodded. “I drew Midnight Express.”
Hannah squeezed his arm. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“Cruz said I’m ready.”
“Where is Cruz?” Alonso asked.
“He’s not here. He said he didn’t want all the attention on him and that we shouldn’t let any gossip we hear distract us.”
“Did Mr. Fitzgerald come with you?”
“Nope.”
Hannah shot Alonso a worried glance.
“Sweet Pete drove the van here.” Luke pointed to the older cowboy standing with the other teens. “Cruz said we’re supposed to find Victor Vicario. He’s competing today and Cruz said he might give us some pointers.”
Alonso scanned the crowd but didn’t see anyone who resembled his friend.
“Vicario’s riding first to help raise money for an inner-city kids’ club in Albuquerque. He’s doing it as a favor to Mr. Fitzgerald.”
Alonso nodded to the stands filling up. “Now I understand why there’s a big crowd here.”
“And Cruz said Vicario’s holding a clinic after the rodeo for any junior cowboys who want pointers. Sweet Pete said we could stay for it.”
“How many boys are competing this afternoon?” Hannah asked.
“There’s five of us.”
“You two visit for a while,” Alonso said. “I’ll see if I can find Vic.”
That Victor had volunteered to ride in a fund-raiser surprised Alonso. Back in high school, his friend had only been interested in making a quick buck for himself. Keeping his eyes peeled for his buddy, Alonso cut across the grounds and made his way to the bucking chutes. The area was crammed with young cowboys and their families.
“You looking for me?”
Alonso pulled up shor
t when Victor cut him off. “Hell, yes, I’m looking for you.” He grasped Vic’s shoulder and gave him a bro hug. “It’s been a few years. You look good.”
Vic scowled and Alonso regretted his comment. His friend had always been self-conscious of the thick scar that marred his face. “You have time to talk?” he asked.
“My ride’s parked outside.” Vic led the way to a smaller lot behind the arena, then dropped the tailgate on his truck and the two men hopped up.
“It’s been a long time, Vic.”
“You don’t have to tell me how many years have passed since...”
Cruz landed in prison.
“I’m surprised you’re riding the circuit.” Alonso chuckled. “Last I knew you said it hurt your ass too much to fall off a bronc.”
Vic returned Alonso’s grin, the gesture stretching the scar, which tugged one side of his mouth down. The mark wasn’t pretty, and time had only made it more prominent because Vic had lost all his baby fat, leaving his face lean and chiseled. When they’d hung out together in the ’hood, girls would approach them, but as soon as they saw Vic’s face up close, they’d cringe and walk the other way.
“Stuff happens and plans change. Maria said you left the Army.”
“How often do you talk to her?”
“Once a month. She’s always checking up on me.”
“We’re lucky that she cares about us.”
“So what happened with your Army career?”
“Like you said, stuff happens. It was time to get out. I’m a trauma surgeon at the university hospital in Albuquerque.”
“What are you doing down this way?”
“I took some time off from the job.”
“Why?”
For a guy who didn’t discuss his own life, Vic liked to poke his nose in Alonso’s business. “I needed a break. That’s all.”
“Maria says I’m supposed to take a look at this Luke Buck kid and give him a few pointers. She said you’re sweet on his sister.” Vic grinned.
“Luke and Hannah’s parents are gone and it’s just the two of them on their ranch now. They raise bison for specialty meat markets. I’ve been helping her with chores since Luke went to the boys’ ranch.”
“How’d you end up meeting them?”
“Hitchhiking.”
“Are you and Hannah a couple?”
Not in the way Vic was asking. “We’re just friends.” Who are expecting a baby together.
Alonso nudged Vic’s arm. “How about you? You got a wife or girlfriend?”
He shook his head. “Too busy traveling the circuit.”
“I don’t keep up with rodeo. I found out through Maria that Cruz broke all the rodeo records at White Sands.”
“If he hadn’t gone to prison he would have won a national title,” Vic said.
“Maybe. He seems pretty happy working with the boys at Maria and Riley’s ranch.”
“That wasn’t his destiny.”
“Like you riding the circuit now wasn’t your destiny?” When Vic didn’t answer, Alonso asked, “How long you gonna keep at it?”
Vic slid off the tailgate. “Until I win a national title.” He adjusted his Stetson. “I better head back to the chutes and check on the boys.” He held out his hand. “Good luck with your job.”
Alonso would need more than luck to get out of the situation he found himself in with Hannah.
* * *
“I CAN’T BELIEVE you’re coming home in another week,” Hannah said after she and Luke sat down at a table near the concession stand.
“I kinda wish I didn’t have to go back to school next semester.”
“It won’t be so bad.”
“I’ve made new friends at the ranch.” Luke’s eyes strayed to the teens signing in at the event table near the entrance.
“Luke.” When he didn’t acknowledge her, she spoke louder. “Luke.”
“Huh?”
“Am I the reason you don’t want to come home?” They’d always been close until their father had passed away.
“It’s not you. It’s just that I hate ranch work. I can do what I want here in my free time. Like learn rodeo.”
“I realize you don’t love ranching the way I do and I promise I won’t stand in your way after you graduate from high school. If you want to leave and go rodeo you can.”
“But who’s going to help you? You can’t stay there by yourself.”
She laughed. “Why not? A woman can manage a ranch just as well as a man.” If not better.
“What if something happens to you? There won’t be anyone to call for help.”
“We have neighbors, Luke, and I carry a cell phone.” She punched him playfully in the shoulder. “And Dad taught us both how to shoot a rifle. I’ll use it if I have to.”
Her brother didn’t look convinced. “If I rodeo I’m going to need money.”
Hannah swallowed a sigh. “Maybe I can buy your share of the ranch.”
He sat up straighter. “What do you mean?”
She waved her hand. “If rodeo is what you want to do, then I can apply for a bank loan to buy your half of the ranch. You could use the money for a new pickup and to help finance your rodeo career until you start winning.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“As long as you graduate from high school I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help you succeed.” Even if I go into debt the rest of my life.
“You should’ve married Seth. Then you wouldn’t have to be alone.”
Hannah pressed her hand against her stomach. Little did Luke know she wouldn’t be alone for long. “Hey, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
Luke dropped the subject and asked, “Has there been any more trouble on the ranch?”
“We had an incident,” she said. “Someone broke another section of the fence.”
Luke dropped his gaze. Maybe he felt guilty that he was enjoying his time at the boys’ ranch while she had to deal with expensive pranks. “Don’t worry—it’s minor stuff.”
“Does the sheriff know who’s doing it?”
She shook her head. “New subject. What do you want for Christmas?”
He smiled. “Do you have any money to buy gifts?”
“Something small.” She winked. “Maybe underwear or socks.”
“That’s okay. I don’t need anything.”
Usually her brother’s I-want list was a page long. “What about a gas card for your car?”
“Yeah, that would be good.” He squirmed on the seat.
“Are you nervous about your ride this afternoon?”
“Nah.”
Right.
“Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please.”
Luke and Hannah glanced at the loudspeaker hanging above their heads.
“All junior rodeo contestants report to the event sign-in table to pick up your numbers.”
“I better go.” Luke stood.
“Alonso and I will see you after the rodeo, okay?”
“Sure.”
He turned away but stopped when she called after him. “Don’t get hurt.”
“That’s the plan.”
Hannah finished her water, then chucked the plastic bottle into a recycle bin and went to look for Alonso in the stands. He found her first.
“How was your visit with Luke?”
“He doesn’t want to go back to his high school. He’d rather stay at the boys’ ranch.”
“I didn’t want to leave, either. He’ll be okay once he’s home and gets into a routine.” Alonso placed his hand against her lower back and followed her into the bleachers. When they were seated, he asked, “Are you hungry?”
“No, thanks. I ate a soft
pretzel while I chatted with Luke.”
“What’s wrong?” He pressed the tip of his finger against the bridge of her nose. “You’re frowning.”
“I told Luke that I’d consider buying his half of the ranch once he graduates from high school.” She sighed. “He doesn’t want to be a rancher.” She motioned to the arena. “He wants to rodeo.” Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything to Alonso. Now he’d worry about her and the baby being by themselves once Luke graduated.
She’d hardly slept the previous night because she fretted over the possibility of Alonso proposing to her—out of guilt. Hannah had seen firsthand the damage an unplanned pregnancy could do to a family. Her father had got Luke’s mother pregnant by accident, and then Hannah’s mother had filed for divorce.
If she and Alonso married just because of the baby, their relationship would never last. She’d rather raise their child alone with one happy parent than two unhappy parents.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the eighth annual junior rodeo competition at the Alamosa Fairgrounds!” The fans stomped their boots and whistled. “You’ll see we have a few new names in the lineup this afternoon. Let’s give a warm Los Alamos welcome to the five buckaroos from the Juan Alvarez Ranch for Boys.”
The crowd applauded, and then a teenage girl rode into the arena carrying the American flag. She stopped her horse in front of the grandstand. The National Anthem played over the loudspeakers and the crowd sang along.
“Up first today in the saddle-bronc competition is Michael Foster. Cowboy Michael will do his best to tame Lickety-split, a bronc from the Del Mar Ranch in Las Cruces.”
The gate opened and Lickety-split sprang into the arena. Hannah had been to a few rodeos through the years and the horses being used today were smaller and less athletic than the ones ridden by seasoned rodeo veterans. Fine by her. She didn’t want Luke getting hurt.
Michael kept his seat until the buzzer, then launched himself into the air and landed on his face in the dirt. He was slow to get up, stopping once on the way back to the chute to spit the dirt out of his mouth.
“Not a bad showing for his first rodeo! Let’s see what the judges think.”
“The score will flash over there.” Alonso leaned close and pointed across the arena. The scent of cologne and warm man surrounded her, and she inhaled, resisting the urge to bury her face in his neck. There were moments like now when the gnawing hunger to kiss him almost overwhelmed her. No matter what path their relationship took, she’d always be attracted to him.
