God Ain't Through Yet

by Mary Monroe

  “Annette, are you all right?” I barely heard Jacob ask in a concerned voice.

  “I’m…I’m fine,” I croaked. “What were we talking about now?” I cleared my throat and glanced at the moon again. It still looked like a yo-yo. I blinked and returned my attention to Jacob. “I haven’t been feeling well,” I said, hoping that would explain my odd behavior to his satisfaction. “It is so good to see you again,” I squealed.

  I kept my arms around Jacob’s neck until Pee Wee’s car was out of sight. It was only then that I was able to breathe again.

  “Um, I am so glad I ran into you tonight. We’ve got a whole lot of catching up to do, huh?” Jacob said, looking so eager and excited I thought he was going to bite me. He grabbed my hand and led me back into the bar.

  Rhoda gave me a helpless look as we joined her and her family in their booth. I was glad that the only two seats available were on the side next to Otis and Rhoda. Jade was on the opposite side, scowling like a convict posing for a mug shot.

  I didn’t notice the small birthday cake on the table until Jacob and I sat down.

  “My baby girl angel is de grand ole twenty-one today!” Otis exclaimed, pounding a fist on the table. “And she’s never had an unhappy moment since de day she was born!”

  I had no idea how Otis could sit there and tell such a bald-faced lie with a straight face. I figured he was one of those kinds of parents who saw only what he wanted to see. Maybe Jade was an angel in his eyes. But from the way she was scowling and rolling her eyes at me, I was still convinced that she was the exact opposite. I gave Otis such an incredulous look, Rhoda kicked my foot under the table.

  “Happy birthday, Jade,” I said in the most pleasant tone of voice I could manage.

  “Ugh,” she replied, speaking out of the side of her mouth as she eyed me with undisguised suspicion. “Mama, can I have another margarita?” she said, turning to Rhoda with a pleading look on her face.

  “Aye yi yi,” Otis yelled, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand so hard his dreadlocks slapped the side of his head. He grinned, kissed Jade’s cheek, and summoned the waiter.

  “Jade, you’ve had four drinks already,” Rhoda said sternly. “Drinkin’ is one thing you have to handle with care, unless you want to get slaphappy and act like a fool.”

  “And that’s not a pretty sight for a woman,” Vernie muttered.

  “You shet up!” Jade snarled, shaking a finger in Vernie’s direction.

  “Now, Jade, you be nice,” Rhoda advised with a frustrated look on her face. “You promised you would be.”

  “All right, Mommy,” Jade cooed. She leaned over and kissed Vernie on his cheek. That must have made him happy because he offered a broad smile. Jade turned her attention to me with a pug-ugly expression on her face, like she had been sucking on a lemon. “Uh, Annette, I heard your husband finally left you. Is that true?”

  “It’s true,” I told her. I didn’t even remove my jacket. I knew that as long as Jade was present, my departure could occur at any minute, and it would not be soon enough as far as I was concerned.

  Jade let out a loud breath, which really sounded more like a grunt of disgust. “Oh well. That’s a damn shame. Everybody needs somebody. Even worms deserve mates….” The lighting was dimin the bar, but not so dim that Jade had to shade her eyes so she could see Jacob better, but she shaded her eyes anyway. “Jacob? Jacob Brewster? Why—I thought you were dead!”

  I was the only one at the table who didn’t laugh.

  “Sometimes I feel like it,” Jacob said, laughing some more. He turned on a smile that was so bright it made his face glow.

  “And what’s that knot on your forehead? Cancer?”

  “Oh no, it’s nothing like that,” Jacob answered quickly, rubbing a peanut-size pimple on the side of his forehead that I had not noticed until Jade pointed it out. “Just some allergy I’ve been dealing with the past couple of weeks.” Jacob covered his mouth and coughed. “It’s nothing serious.”

  That information didn’t appease Jade. She looked at Jacob like he had just announced that he had leprosy. “Well, it looks contagious to me, so if you don’t mind, please don’t cough in my direction.” She turned to Vernie. “Groom, trade seats with me.” Like a well-trained puppy, Vernie complied.

  I was already anxious to leave. I wanted to go home, slide into my bathrobe, and curl up on my living room couch with a good book. As soon as the waiter took our orders, I asked Rhoda to accompany me to the ladies’ room.

  “What in the hell is going on?” I asked before we even shut the ladies’ room door. “I thought you said it was just going to be Bully and us.”

  “It was, but Bully was so tired from that long flight from London, he fell asleep on the couch before I knew it. We had planned to celebrate Jade’s birthday at home, but all of a sudden she decided she wanted to have her first alcoholic drink in public.”

  “Her first alcoholic drink?” I asked with both my eyebrows raised and a cackle lurking in my lump-infested throat.

  Rhoda gave me an impatient look. “Yes, her first alcoholic drink,” she snapped defensively with a hand on her hip.

  Jade had had her first alcoholic drink in my house—before I could stop her—more than five years ago. As a matter of fact, she had probably started way before then. It was one thing for Otis to be so naïve where Jade was concerned. But it was hard to believe that Rhoda thought that Jade was drinking for the first time tonight. Rhoda didn’t know her daughter as well as she thought she did. Back when Jade was in her teens, Rhoda was concerned about Jade’s first sexual experience, convinced that she was still a virgin. I knew for a fact that not only had Jade been fucking for years already by then, she’d also had two abortions. I knew from experience that, in some cases, it was better for me to mind my own business—unless I wanted to open a can of worms that might crawl all over everything and everybody. Even though I didn’t like it, I totally understood why Rhoda had not told me about Pee Wee and Lizzie as soon as she found out. Nobody liked the thought of worms crawling out of a can. I decided that I would never tell Rhoda that Jade had already had her first drink.

  “Before I could even tell Jade that I was going to meet you, she suggested this family night out on the town.”

  “I’m surprised that she didn’t change her mind when she found out I was going to be here,” I said, turning to the mirror to check my makeup. I had smeared my lipstick when I kissed Jacob, but all it took to repair it was for me to blot a few spots with a wet paper towel. “I would have understood.”

  “It’s no big deal. I think that we are all civilized enough to get through tonight without a scene. Now…” Rhoda paused and sniffed, and widened her eyes. “What’s up with you and Jacob?” She put her hands on her hips and stood closer to me, checking out her own makeup in the same mirror.

  “I don’t know yet.” I turned to face Rhoda, giving her a thoughtful look. “He just might be what I need right now. And right on time.” I told her about the scene that I’d performed under the streetlight outside for Pee Wee’s benefit.

  I didn’t like the pitiful look she gave me. My first thought was that she didn’t approve of what I had just confessed. I suddenly wished that I had not told her.

  “Go ahead and say it! I know Pee Wee’s your boy, and you love him to death, but he’s my husband and he’s betrayed me in the worst way. What do you expect me to do, Rhoda?”

  The look on her face softened. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Good for you, girl! I’m glad Pee Wee saw you kissin’ Jacob out in the open.” Her response made me relax a little more.

  “You don’t think it was a tacky thing for me to do? I mean, I am still technically married, but I was glad to see Jacob.”

  “What you did is no more tacky than what Pee Wee’s doin’ out in the open. As far as I’m concerned, you should be doin’ a lot more.”

  “What do you mean by that? Is there something else going on that I don’t know about?”

  “
Well, Pee Wee’s not bein’ discreet, you know?”

  “Can you make a little more sense? If you are trying to tell me something, just tell me.”

  Rhoda took a deep breath and gave me a sorry look. When she clapped me on my back and started rubbing like she was trying to rid me of a demon, I knew then that she was about to reveal something else that I was not going to like. I was right. “Since Pee Wee takes Lizzie to dinner at Antonosanti’s some nights after they close up the barbershop—struttin’ like a peacock with his arm curled around her shoulder like a bodyguard—you can kiss whomever you want to kiss out in the open.”

  CHAPTER 43

  “He takes her to dinner at an expensive place like Antonosanti’s? I used to have to beg him to take me there!” My battered heart must have skipped three beats. And it felt like it was hanging from an invisible string like a yo-yo, just like that moon outside. Even though I knew that I’d lost my husband to another woman, hearing that the affair had become so public and blatant made my blood boil. I wanted to go back home and get my rolling pin. I hated the woman that I had become. Even though I still didn’t condone violence, it had become a frequent visitor to my fractured thoughts. I was glad I didn’t have access to a gun or a competent voodoo woman.

  “Lizel and Wyrita drive past there every evenin’ on the way home.” Lizel and Wyrita were the two busybody young women who worked for Rhoda, helping her run her childcare center. “Pee Wee’s car is in Antonosanti’s parking lot almost every day around the same time. Yesterday and today, Lizel and Wyrita stopped there to order somethin’ to go—or just to be nosy, I should say. Lizel said that both times Pee Wee and Lizzie were sittin’ in a booth kissin’ and huggin’ like they were auditionin’ for The Love Connection.”

  “Oh well,” I said with a shrug. My insides were crumbling like a house of cards. “He’s on his own, so he can do whatever the hell he wants to do.” Those words tasted like venom on my tongue. “I plan to do the same thing.” Those words tasted much better. As a matter of fact, they tasted so good I wanted to savor them. “I plan to do the same thing,” I repeated, this time with even more conviction. “By the way, did you know he’s been talkin’ to a lawyer? Scary Mary told me.”

  Rhoda’s jaw dropped and she covered her mouth with her hand for a few seconds. “I didn’t know that!”

  “Well, you know it now. And I want you to be the first to know that I have an appointment to see a lawyer. I plan to serve Pee Wee with divorce papers as soon as I can.”

  “I don’t blame you, girl. I mean, he’s still my boy and he always will be, but you have to do what you have to do. Let him stay with his middle-aged might-or-might-not-be virgin.” Rhoda paused and cackled. “Well, if she was still a virgin, I’m sure she’s not a virgin anymore now. Still middle-aged, though.”

  “Hmph! She probably hasn’t been a virgin for a long time,” I snapped.

  “I thought she’d never been married, or even had a real date.”

  “So? Half of the prostitutes who work for Scary Mary have never been married or had dates, at least not dates in the traditional sense.” I gave Rhoda a serious look. “Did you know she went to Woodstock?”

  “So did Mick Jagger and Jimi Hendrix, I think. What’s your point?”

  “And a year after we got out of high school, she spent some time in Berkeley doing that hippie thing.”

  Rhoda’s brow furrowed. “Wasn’t that the Summer of Love where everybody was fuckin’ everybody while they were on acid or whatever drugs they could get their hands on?”

  “From what I know, every summer was the summer of love during the hippie movement. Now, with all of that in mind, just how innocent could Lizzie be if she was there? And Woodstock? What about all of that?”

  Rhoda considered my words with a frown. “Of course, if Lizzie really got into what was goin’ on, she was well-fucked when she left Berkeley. And another thing, as far as I know, she has never said that she’s still a virgin anyway, right? I mean, before Pee Wee gave her a beef injection…”

  “She never told me she was. I don’t know how Muh’Dear came to that conclusion.” I swallowed hard. “Oh, what the hell. What difference does it make? She’s living with my husband now and I know he’s fucking the hell out of her.”

  “This is some truly crazy shit, girl. How do you think somebody like her got to somebody like him?”

  “I don’t know who got to who in this case. And to be honest with you, I don’t think I really want to know. But I am still ticked off with you for not telling me,” I chided, shaking a finger in Rhoda’s face.

  “Don’t think that I didn’t want to tell you as soon as I found out. You have no idea how hard it was for me to keep from callin’ you up that time I ran into them at the motel. I had even thought about sendin’ you an anonymous note.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Well, after what Jade put me through with her cute little anonymous notes, I’m glad you didn’t! Something like that would have pushed me closer to the edge faster than a bulldozer. I can’t believe you would say something like that, Rhoda!”

  “I’m sorry for even thinkin’ of doin’ somethin’ like that, and I’m sorry for tellin’ you. I just…I just want us all to be happy. Now, I know that you and Jade still have some issues, but let’s try and get through tonight in one piece.”

  By the time Rhoda and I returned to our table, our drinks had been delivered. Jacob was squatting down on his knees on the floor facing the booth with a camera. He was snapping pictures of Jade as she leaned over her birthday cake, posing with Otis and Vernie. The way that the three of them were positioned with Jade seated, Vernie leaning forward over her so that his chin rested on top of her head, and with Otis in a similar position above Vernie, they resembled a short totem pole. It was a Kodak moment if ever there was one. “Rhoda, do you and Annette want to get in this picture?” Jacob asked.

  Now that I looked so much better, I wasn’t as camera shy as I used to be. But before I could respond and announce that I wanted to pose with the birthday girl, Rhoda spoke, “No thanks. I’m too bloated tonight,” she said with a frown as she rubbed her belly. “I would come out lookin’ like Moby Dick’s mama.” She, as well as everybody else present, looked at me.

  “I feel the same way,” I muttered.

  The minute everybody returned to their seats, Jade’s scowl returned to her face. And it was aimed in my direction. I couldn’t raise my wineglass to my lips fast enough. I was glad that I had ordered some of the strongest Chardonnay in the house. I got an immediate buzz. It hit me so hard I didn’t have time to stop the loud, long burp that popped out of my mouth as soon as I set the glass back on the table.

  “Excuse me,” I yelled, leaning toward Jacob. I beckoned for our waiter to bring me another drink.

  The band—one plump, bald-headed brother tickling a red piano, another man strumming a square-shaped guitar, and two others tooting horns—was well known for the soft jazz instrumentals they played. The club was fairly crowded, and the atmosphere was so soothing it was easy for me to relax a little bit more. Even though Jade was present, with Jacob by my side now, I was actually glad that I had come back in. This was the first festive mood I’d felt since Pee Wee left me.

  “So, Annette, I’m glad to see you didn’t waste any time hooking up with a new man,” Jade said with a grimace on her face that looked like it belonged on a crocodile. “And such a handsome man.” She winked at Jacob. “Jacob, don’t be blushing! You know you look good for a man your age. That wig store on State Street sells hairpieces that would cover up your receding hairline real good!” that crude heifer said. “But you could still use a few props.” She took a drink from her glass and looked me in the eye. “Annette, I always thought you’d end up with just another mummy like Pee Wee, or some other dried-up old fossil. Ow! You surprised me!”

  Rhoda cleared her throat and tried to divert the attention in another direction, but she didn’t have to bother. Jade was two steps ahead of her.

  “Groom?�
�� Jade cooed, looking at Vernie like he was something good to eat. As soon as he whirled around to face her, she kissed the tip of his nose. Then she tapped his lips with the tip of her finger.

  Vernie looked at her like she was the Queen of Sheba. “Yes, baby?”

  “Dance with me, baby,” Jade ordered. Jade grabbed Vernie by the hand before I could offer an appropriate response to her comments. And the fact that he didn’t protest surprised me. He seemed more like her well-trained puppy than her husband.

  I was glad when Otis and Rhoda got up to dance, too. It gave me the chance to investigate Jacob a little. Father Time had been good to him. He was still reasonably good looking and fit. As a matter of fact, he had the same dark brown skin and features that were similar to Pee Wee’s. I was anxious to determine where he was coming from, and where he was going, as far as resuming a relationship with me.

  “So, how do you spend your time these days?” I asked. I knew that if I was going to hold on to my sanity, it was going to take a lot of hard work. Now that I knew Pee Wee was parading his woman all over town, I knew that I had to at least make it look like I was having just as good a time as he was. I wasn’t looking for another man to fall in love with. What I needed right now was a crutch, and Jacob was a good candidate to fill that role for the time being.

  “I still like to go to parties and movies, and whatnot. The same things I liked to do when you and I were together,” he told me, patting one of my hands for a few seconds, then the other. “I’m looking for the right woman to do that with. I’ll be her fool,” he said in a low voice, still patting my hands.

  I didn’t exactly want a fool in my life. And as soon as Jacob said that, he gave me a look that I didn’t know how to interpret. He was staring at me like I was the only woman in the room. On one hand, it made me feel special; but on the other hand, it made me uncomfortable.