by Kasey Krane
“Yeah, he’s easy on the eye all right,” I mumbled.
“Oh come on, Rosa, he’s more than that. He made me blush! So tall and broad shouldered and…”
“Mom. Stop. Please!”
She turned to me with surprise.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, sweetie. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t be so bad if you were seeing him, would it?”
“Just because he’s good looking?”
“It helps, right?”
Davey turned to us then and waved. We both smiled at him and waved back.
“Mom, it’s not going to happen, all right? Brendan and I are…”
“What? He seemed eager to meet your family. Davey seems to like him. You haven’t been seeing a man for ever, it seems. So why not him?”
“Because it’s complicated, all right? It can’t be Brendan. I shouldn’t have…he shouldn’t have stayed over last night. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“But why not him?” Mom insisted.
I glared at her. It was on the tip of my tongue. I knew the gravity of what would be unleashed if I told her the truth. I couldn’t do it. I’d never said it out loud and I couldn’t say it now.
I looked at Davey again, staring at him to see if there were any similarities between him and Brendan. He was a kid, too young to tell.
But the one thing that was unmistakable were the green eyes they shared. I had never been able to forget Brendan’s striking green eyes. It was the first thing I noticed when Davey was born and he opened his eyes.
Mom followed my line of vision, she stared at Davey too.
It wasn’t going to be long before she put the pieces together.
“Rosa?” Mom’s voice quivered. I was still staring at my son and she reached for my hand, bringing it tightly to her lap. “Please look at me, sweetie.”
I had no choice. I had to face her.
“What mom?” I said. I couldn’t keep the anger and frustration from my voice. I just hoped that she knew I was frustrated with myself, not with her.
I relived memories of my past that I’d managed to keep buried for a very long time.
“Is Brendan…Davey’s father?” she asked.
She had never asked me this question about any other man before. But now, she couldn’t help herself. She had to know.
I had to give her credit for not nagging me about it for four years.
I stared into her eyes, and as much as I wanted to stay strong, I broke. Tears welled up and then rolled down my cheeks.
I couldn’t get the words out so I just nodded as I pressed my hands to my eyes to cover the tears.
“Oh, sweetie!” She reached for me, pulling me into a warm embrace.
I rested my head on her shoulder and sobbed. This wasn’t the first time I had cried over Brendan Doherty, but it was the first time I was free of my secret. I’d carried it around for so long that my shoulders felt physically lighter now.
Mom stroked my hair.
“It’s okay, Rosa. You should have told me who he was. But I’m happy you’ve told me now. Does he know? Have you told him?”
I shook my head vigorously.
“But Davey has met him. They’ve spent time together. Doesn’t he have the right to know?”
I straightened up, pulling away from her and dabbing at my cheeks.
“I don’t want him to know. If I have my way, Davey will never find out. I’m happy with the way things are for us, Mom. You, me and Davey. We’re happy right now, aren’t we?”
She looked at me sympathetically and nodded.
“Yes, Rosa, I’m happy and Davey is happy, but you…I feel like you could be happier. And maybe it’s this secret that’s been holding you back. He’s back in your life now. The father of your child. And maybe he would like to share some of the responsibilities of raising a child.”
“Brendan is not the kind of guy who would ever want to be a father. He had fun with Davey for a few hours this morning, and then he returned to his normal life. He won’t be able to do it and I don’t want to disappoint Davey. He deserves better than a father who doesn’t want to be one.”
Mom watched me closely and then she sighed.
“This is about your dad, isn’t it?” she asked.
I should have known she would figure it out.
Our conversation was interrupted for a bit when Davey came running to us. We went over to the swings and pushed him in it for a while. Then he got bored of that and returned to the sandpit to play with the other kids.
Once he was gone, Mom threaded her arm around mine and pulled me close to her.
“I may not say this often enough, sweetie, but you’re doing a great job of raising your boy. A much better job than I did with you.”
“You did the best you could, Mom.”
She nodded, then looked in Davey’s direction and smiled.
“Your father set a bad example for what you can expect from men. I guess I never had good taste in men because each of them I picked was worse than the previous one.”
She spoke in a soft voice, staring out into the distance. I said nothing because it was true. I had to agree with her. She sure knew how to pick ‘em.
Then she turned to me again.
“But that doesn’t mean all the men in the world are like that, Rosa. You never followed my example in parenting. Why should you follow mine in selecting the man you want to be with?” she asked.
“I don’t want to take the chance, Mom. I don’t want to risk Davey’s life and happiness.”
“But will he ever forgive you when he grows up and digs around for the truth? You know he will. Just like you were so curious as a teenager to find out more about your dad. You would have hated me even more if I kept his identity hidden from you.”
She was right. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I could still remember the frustration I felt at not knowing my father. I wanted to find him. Talk to him. Challenge him.
Would Davey experience those same feelings? It was likely that he would.
It wasn’t going to be very long that I’d be able to keep his paternity hidden. He was going to be his own man one day.
“And how do you know what Brendan wants or how he would react to this information? You won’t know until you tell him. If he pushes you and Davey away, if he rejects the news, then you can move on.”
She had a point with that too.
“I guess I’m just a coward,” I said.
“No, sweetie, you’re just being a protective mother. You love that boy and you will do anything to protect him. But maybe you don’t need to protect him from his father. Maybe you’re wrong about Brendan.”
Mom smiled at me but I couldn’t make myself smile.
Brendan had charmed too many women with his good looks and sex appeal. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.
“I’ll think about it,” I told my mom.
At least she would be happy with that answer for now.
We had to cut our time short at the park because I needed to go home and get ready for my shift at the bar. Nina was supposed to come over and watch Davey for the night.
As always, he wasn’t thrilled about it and I wished things were different for us, but they weren’t.
We walked back home together, parting ways with Mom. I told him about all the fun things we could do the next weekend to cheer him up. He asked about Brendan again and I tried to brush away the answer. I just hoped he wouldn’t get too suspicious and hold it against me.
Maybe in a few days he would forget all about it.
We turned the corner to our block and when I looked up, I saw the man again.
The one who was at the bar. The one who had been following me.
Instantly, I pulled Davey close to me, shielding him with my body.
Our block was not as busy at this time of the day when everyone was at work. So even though it was daylight, it suddenly didn’t feel very safe to be there.
“Davey,
honey, stay close to Mommy, okay? Hold my hand,” I whispered to him hoarsely, tightening my grip on his hand.
The man strode over to me and grabbed my arm roughly. I cried out in pain but managed not to let go of Davey.
“This is a warning, Rosalie Turner, that we’re watching you,” he growled. Then he looked around carefully, like he expected someone to appear. “Where is he?”
“Who? What are you talking about? You’re scaring my son. Please, just let us go!”
Instead of doing what I begged him to do, he gripped me even harder.
“You should know that we know everything.”
“Know everything about what?” I cried.
Davey was sobbing by now, with tears flooding down his cheeks. He tried to pull me away from the man but he wasn’t going to win that battle no matter how hard he tried.
“You better be prepared to give him up.” Was he talking about Davey? About someone else I knew nothing about?
“Please mister, you have the wrong person. I haven’t been involved in anything. I don’t know anything. I’m not the person you’re looking for,” I cried.
I just wanted Davey to be safe. I just wanted him to be spared—no matter what he wanted to do to me.
The man turned his attention to Davey as his sobs became louder and more like screeches.
I thought he was going to do something to my son so I thrashed around until I was out of his grip. I managed to pick Davey up in my arms and hid his face from the man.
He looked up at me again with heavy eyelids.
“Nope. I have exactly the person I’m looking for,” he said with a smile. Then he turned and walked away from us.
“Mommy! What happened? Mommy?” Davey continued to sob in my arms.
I was just relieved the man was gone. Even though I couldn’t figure out what he wanted from me. I looked over every inch of Davey, just to make sure he was safe. I knew he hadn’t actually been touched by the man, but I felt paranoid.
I wasn’t sure I would ever feel safe again.
Twenty
Brendan
I knew I needed to stay away.
I needed to focus on the problems my family was facing. Besides, Rosalie had made it very clear that she didn’t want me around her or her kid.
For some twisted reason, she had decided I wasn’t good enough for them.
Not that I thought I was.
I knew I didn’t deserve a girl like her.
It was the reason why I had been so drawn to her that first night of the party four years ago. Because she was pure and sweet, smart and beautiful. Because she wasn’t particularly interested in me.
And now I couldn’t stay away.
I couldn’t rid myself of the feeling I experienced that morning while I had breakfast with them. It felt normal. It almost felt like that was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I tried distracting myself with work, I even hung out with Tristian and Nolan at our usual haunt. Nothing worked. Rosalie was the only thing on my mind.
I went back to her apartment. It was late. I figured she would be at work and Davey was probably with his grandmother. So when I knocked on her apartment door, I didn’t expect it to be opened. Least of all, by her.
Rosalie stood there still dressed in the same sexy leggings and sweater from the morning. I was about to apologize. I knew I shouldn’t have come over without asking first. She wouldn’t want Davey to see me.
But then I saw the expression on her face before I got the words out. I stopped.
She looked like she had been crying.
She looked like she was about to cry again.
“What the fuck happened?” I asked.
She threw herself at me, landing on me with a crash. I wrapped my arms around her. It felt good having her pinned to my chest, feeling the softness and perfection of her body, the smell of her hair.
“A man…this guy…from the bar…” She was mumbling, and fumbling with her words.
I pulled her away from me so I could look into her puffy red eyes.
“Hey, I need you to tell me exactly what’s going on. Which guy from the bar? What did he do? Did someone touch you?”
Rosalie wiped her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed deeply.
“I think I have a stalker. I think I have a creepy scary stalker, and I’m so scared Davey is going to end up getting hurt,” she cried.
I pulled her into my arms again so she had something to hold on to while she sobbed.
I let her cry for a while, but after that, I wanted answers.
I could hear sounds of the TV from inside the house.
“Is Davey in there?” I asked softly.
We were still standing at the door, embracing tightly. Rosalie looked up at me with her beautiful tear-stained cheeks.
“Yeah, he’s watching TV. I made him his favorite dinner. We’re way past bedtime but I don’t want to force him to go to sleep. He was pretty shaken up,” she said. She spoke in whispers, evidently trying to hide from Davey that she was still worried.
I cradled her face in both my hands, fighting the urge to kiss her.
“What did he do? The stalker.”
“He followed me here. To our block. Then he started making random threats. I don’t know what he was talking about. Some guy.”
It was confusing. I couldn’t make sense of what she was saying. I figured she just needed some time to calm down and put her thoughts together.
“He was staring at Davey with this weird slimy smile. I don’t know what he wants. I don’t even know if he’ll actually hurt me. But he saw me at the bar the other night, then found my apartment building. It’s so creepy,” she whispered hoarsely.
I rubbed my thumbs on her lips and she breathed in a deep sigh.
“I…I couldn’t go to work tonight. I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up losing my job. I’m already on the last straw with Rocky. And the diner, they’ve cut down my hours, so that’s out…” She was speaking to herself. I had to strain my ears to hear the things she was saying.
I threw an arm around her and pulled her to me again.
“How about you don’t worry about anything tonight? I’m here now. Nobody is going to hurt you or Davey,” I said.
She stopped mumbling and stared straight at me.
I hated seeing her this worried. I wanted to keep her safe. But I knew there were chances she would banish me from her apartment again. Rosalie was unpredictable.
“I didn’t expect you to show up here tonight, but I’m glad you did,” she said.
I took her hand in mine and held it up to my lips.
Davey appeared behind his mother right then.
“Brendan?” he said in a small weak voice.
Even just from the way he spoke, I could sense he was shaken up too.
I let go of Rosalie and scooped the kid up in my arms. He held on to me tightly. It was a strange feeling having a three-year old in my arms. He was so fragile, like a little bird.
I walked into the apartment with him and Rosalie shut the door behind us.
“I’m hungry, any dinner left?” I asked Davey. His eyes lit up and he smiled.
“Mommy made mac and cheese. You can have my leftovers,” he declared.
He seemed in a sudden better mood now and I was glad for it.
I realized I would have done anything to make the kid happy. I just felt like he needed me.
We sat on the floor around the TV and ate the remainder of the mac and cheese. Davey seemed to slowly come out of the shell he’d surrounded himself with. Rosalie still looked worried for him.
Spending time with Davey that night brought back memories of what had happened in the past. An experience in my own childhood that had left me feeling too emotionally crippled to handle a child around me.
But somehow, I was able to forget all about that with him. Davey and I fell into a natural rhythm. We were able to make each other laugh. Even Rosalie wasn’t invited or included in our little circle.
&
nbsp; After dinner was over, I suggested that maybe it was time to go to bed. It was nearly midnight and he had been yawning for a while—fighting sleep.
Davey looked at his mother and then at me.
“I want you to read me stories and tuck me in,” he said, pointing at me.
Rosalie looked relieved—probably just happy that he was even agreeing to go to sleep.
This was the first time in many many years—since I was a kid myself, that I sat down by the bedside of a child and read a storybook. Then a second and third one. Davey was still fighting sleep but eventually he gave up and nodded off.
Rosalie appeared at the door a few minutes later when she noticed I’d stopped reading the books. I sat there next to Davey for a little while longer while she came around and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
There was something so peaceful about watching him sleep. He looked so safe and comfortable. Like he was absolutely sure that no harm would come to him. That the adults in the house would keep him safe.
Rosalie and I looked at each other in the dim light of Davey’s room. She still seemed worried. She had every reason to.
The creepy weirdo from the bar had freaked her out and scared her son.
Together, we stepped out of Davey’s room and I reached for her hand.
“He’s going to be okay. He has you, he loves you,” I said.
I noticed how Rosalie had tears in her eyes again. She nodded.
“Thank you for doing this for me, for him…I know I’ve been rude to you and pushed you away. You have no reason to be here.”
I stepped up closer to her, holding her hand to my chest now. She had no idea how I felt about her. She had no idea how much I wanted her, no matter how hard she tried to push me away. It only made me want her more.
“I know how you can make it up to me,” I said.
For the first time that whole night, Rosalie looked up at me and smiled.
I laid Rosalie down on her bed, and she opened herself up to me like a flower would.
I pulled her leggings off, which I’d been wanting to do all day. Then her sweater. My cock hardened at the sight of her in nothing but her lacey lingerie.
