by Leela Ash
Yeah, she wasn’t really in a position to sneer at Shifters. Especially since she actually could see their bodies, well, Shifting every time she turned away from them.
Dick’s form didn’t Shift at all. “If humans can’t look at Shifters, why aren’t we going nuts?” she asked him.
At once, disgust flashed across his face. “We are not Shifters!” he snapped.
Ooh, hit a nerve with that one. She’d have to remember that. Somebody didn’t like Shifters very much. Funny, since he was apparently working with them. “What are we?”
Pride washed away his disdain and he raised his chin. “We are Adanai. The Pure.”
He seemed to expect a reaction to that pronouncement. Tess just blinked. “Okay. So what do we do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Shifters change into bears and rabbits. What do we do?”
“Nothing!” The very idea seemed to affront him.
“That sucks!” she exclaimed. “The impure get to Shift into cool animal forms while we ‘pure’ just… what? Sit around looking pretty?”
Dick sputtered, a noise she thoroughly enjoyed. Then he bit back some angry reply and his eyes narrowed. “If you want to know what we do, go collect the memories you shed.”
Jerk. Though he had a point.
“Fine. Whatever. So why are the Fangs of Apophis here in Maine?”
“Looking for information.” He raised a hand. The bartender glanced up, nodded, and retrieved a dusty bottle of red wine. “Information that your neighbor possesses.”
Anger blazed inside her and she fought to keep it from her face. “What makes you think I’ve got a neighbor?”
Dick shrugged, his eyes locked on the bartender who shuffled toward them, wine and glass in hand. “Please. I know where you go to shed your memories.”
Note to self: I need to move.
“When I saw this man’s address, I thought it a tremendous coincidence. One that could prove very profitable, for both of us.”
The bartender blew dust out of his wine glass and set it on the table. Then he carefully poured out a dark red liquid.
“What is it?” Dick asked.
“Wine.”
A muscle in the man’s smooth chin twitched. “I can see that. What kind of wine?”
“Red.”
Another tic. “Cabernet Sauvignon? Shiraz? Carmentiere? Light save us, do tell me it’s not a merlot.”
“It’s not a merlot,” the Bear replied dutifully. “It’s a red. You said you liked those.”
Dick closed his eyes and pinched his nose. “Go away,” he hissed. “And leave the wine – whatever it is.”
Sadly, Tess knew every varietal of grape he’d mentioned.
Apparently, meth and cocaine weren’t the only things I did back in the day.
“So what info do the Fangs want from this neighbor of mine?”
“Darian Morland is his name. You’ve met him?”
Her mind strayed back to that wild, delirious dream. “Yeah, I know him.”
“He’s a Shifter. A Dragon.”
That tattoo. Probably a dead give-away, if she hadn’t dumped all her memories. But why couldn’t she see his soul’s form, as she could with the Witch Hare and Bear-tender?
As soon as she wondered that, she remembered one of the strange details of her dream. Thick bars, inked black, crossed over the Dragon’s head. Maybe that hides his Shifter powers?
If the bars were even real. Tess grimaced when she realized that she was treating this stupid dream like it had really happened.
Dick didn’t notice her expression, or didn’t care. “He’s too dangerous, obviously, to confront directly.”
That made sense. Dragons sounded a hell of a lot meaner than the poor Hare up at the bar.
“But there are rumors.” Eyes glittering with excitement, Dick leaned across the table toward her. Tess tilted her chair back. “Whispers that his Flight – the other Dragons he knows – have discovered a priceless treasure.” He paused, obviously hoping she’d beg him to tell her what that was. When she remained silent, he added, after a dramatic pause: “A living Wellspring.”
That meant absolutely nothing to her. Dick waited, expecting some emotional outburst. Instead, Tess shrugged. “Yay?”
Outrage, and she won another drop of his jaw. Taunting him was such a delight. Tess couldn’t remember why she loathed the man (though she thought it had something to do with another woman; scratch that – several other women…). But she couldn’t deny the deep, nasty joy she felt every time she horrified her… “ex”? Yeah. Crap. That seemed likely too. Dick and she had been something, once upon a time.
“You don’t remember Wellsprings? Is there anything left of you?” he whispered in disgust.
“Enough to know that I don’t like you.”
“You discarded all your knowledge and yet you kept your grudges.” He shook his head, still reeling from her ‘ignorance’.
“Hey, the fact that you’re a treacherous scum ball was the most important thing I knew,” she snapped back. “I kept that.”
For a moment, the two of them glared across the table. Dick’s no-pedigree wine sat, neglected. Her heart urged her to slap him and storm out. Her head, however, reminded her that she came here for a reason.
These Fangs were Darian’s enemies. She needed to get information about them.
For him.
“So…”
“Fine,” Dick grumbled. “I’ll explain. Wellsprings are…”
“Don’t bother. I don’t care.” When she wanted to know, she’d ask Darian. He was a hell of a lot more trustworthy than her ex. “They’re valuable. You want me to find the location of one. The Fangs will pay a lot for that info. That’s all I need to know.”
Her fake indifference reassured him, as she hoped it would. He relaxed enough to sample his wine. A decision he immediately regretted, judging from the grimace that followed.
Time to learn something she cared about. “One thing doesn’t make sense. How’d you know Morland lived next to me?”
Dick pushed his glass to the edge of the table, clearly displeased with it. “He isn’t half as subtle as he thinks he is. The Fangs tracked his financial payments. Located his realtor, put some pressure on her. She caved. Of course.”
Huh. Sounded like she wasn’t the only one who needed to move. “You told them about me?”
“No! Of course not!” Oddly, he seemed genuinely shocked by the question. Then again, he did despise Shifters. “We may be the only two Adanai in this world. We need to protect each other.”
Tess burst out laughing. “You’re going to protect me? Oh yeah, that’s believable.”
He said nothing. Just watched her, a pout ruining his handsome features. When she finally stopped chuckling, he snapped, “Do we have a deal then?”
She wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “Nope. You haven’t given me any reason to help you.”
“But we’re…!”
“Over. Whatever we had,” she waved her hand vaguely, “is dead. You killed it when you cheated on me.” She couldn’t remember the details, but the longer she talked to him, the more confident she was that he was a philanderer. Time and time again.
“As if those women could ever compare to you,” he snorted. “I will never understand how you could be so petty and jealous.”
That’s because you don’t understand the first thing about love.
Fortunately, she caught herself before that blurted out. Love was a weapon to men like him. A tool they could use to hurt and control women. Damned if she’d admit he’d ever wielded that knife against her.
“I think we’re done here.” She rose to her feet.
“Wait!” Panic touched his words. He might despise the Fangs, she realized, but he feared them, too. “Look, you’ve shed yourself, so you don’t understand what this means. A Wellspring is a portal between the worlds. A living one will let us go home!”
“I don’t remember last Christmas – much less a
ny ‘home.’ And… wait. Did you just say that my true home is on some other planet? You think I’m an alien?”
“Not another planet, another… oh, dammit!” he snapped. “Go recover your memories. I don’t have time for this!”
“So are we aliens or not?”
“No! Adanai. We’re more like elves or fairies.”
“I’m a fairy.” Tess stared at him in open disbelief. Somehow, fairies were harder to accept than Were-Dragons. “I think I liked being an alien better.”
“They’re just words, and none of them are exactly true. And it doesn’t matter, anyway! All you need to know is that the Wellsprings are the portals to our true home. The place we belong!” As he grew desperate, a grating whine entered his voice. Like the sound of a junkie begging for his next fix.
“Don’t remember the place. Don’t care about it.”
“Liar!” he hissed. “You wouldn’t Shed your past constantly if you were happy here.”
Tess hesitated. Some part of her knew she ought to keep walking. Dick was a liar. Nothing he said was trustworthy. Yet that statement hit perilously close to the question that had nagged her since she woke up on that island in the woods.
Why did I do this? Why do I keep doing this?
He spotted her weakness immediately and pounced on it. “Can you tell me that you’re happy now? Do you ever recall being happy?”
Well, no. Surely, though, she’d been happy at some point?
But, if so, why would she dump the memory of that joy into a stone? Had she truly never been happy in all her life?
Dick’s voice, slick and greasy, wormed its way into her doubts. “You know I’m right. There’s no true pleasure in this world. Oh, there’s food and drink and drugs and sex. None of it lasts, though. It fades, blurs together. Once the novelty passes, those things – all of them – fade into grey. It stops satisfying. And you need more every day. Bigger thrills. Stronger drugs. Another man. It never ends, because it’s all empty. Meaningless.”
A deep gloom rose inside her, summoned by his words. They felt true. Right. Life and all its ‘wonders’ had disappointed her.
Still, she shook her head, fighting to dispel that shadow. “If this world sucks so much, why did you and I come here?”
His laugh was bitter and mocking. “We were idiots. Oh, I won’t sugar-coat it. We screwed up. We listened to the lesser Kind babble about ‘love’ and what a wonder it was. Hah!”
So she’d come here seeking love? How had that worked out? Sadly, she recalled those twelve stones, each one a sign of some tragic failure.
“Once we got here, we learned the truth. Love is a myth. It’s weak, fake, and shallow. An illusion that shatters at the first touch of misfortune.” Dick glowered at his wine, but didn’t touch it. “Unfortunately, by the time we learned this, it was too late. The Wellsprings were drying up. The doors closed, and we were locked outside. Here, in this filth.” His disapproving stare scanned across the bar, silently condemning every stale, dirty detail.
Weary despair settled over her as some part of her soul nodded in agreement with the man’s rant. Yet, at that darkest moment, a light rose from her memory.
Darian. Draped in silk. Holding her. Offering her the comfort of his body when she needed a shoulder to hide against.
Was that love? Maybe not. Tess didn’t think she was a good judge of that, given how many times she’d Shed her exes. But whatever it was, it was wonderful. A sheltering, protective warmth like nothing she remembered. It might be love – and if it wasn’t, maybe it could become love.
Wasn’t that worth fighting for?
“So, let me get this straight.” She forced the sorrow away, forbidding it from touching the mocking tone she used to protect herself. “There’s no love on the Other Side of whatever we’re on the other side of?”
Dick shook his head.
“What is there, then? What’s the point?”
“Purity. Contentment. Contemplation. Serenity. Compassion.”
“But no love?” She waited, but he added nothing. “Meh. I’ll pass.”
“What? No! You can’t!” When she turned to leave this time, he was desperate enough to grab her elbow.
Tess shook loose. “Sorry but your Other Side sounds boring as hell.”
“Don’t you see? The pain stops. The hungers. The needs.”
“Is that all you want out of life?” Her lip wrinkled with contempt. “Not to hurt? Not to want anything?”
Faced with her disdain, Dick glared back. “Where has all your wanting and hurting gotten you? You can’t even bear to remember your own past!”
“Not right now,” she admitted. “Maybe later. And I tell you what; I’m going to keep trying. Twelve failed relationships doesn’t mean that love isn’t real.”
“Fine, don’t come home with me. But please, don’t trap me here! Help me get this information and you’ll never see me again.”
Now that was the first genuinely tempting offer he’d made all day! No way in hell, though, that she’d betray Darian just to get her ex out of her life. “No deal.”
“Why not? The Fangs will make you rich. They’ll…” He trailed after her, then suddenly his pleas cut short. “Oh hell no. Tell me you haven’t fallen for this Morland guy.”
She refused to respond to that, but he guessed the answer anyway and began to laugh. “Damn, you are predictable. How long did it take? Did you ‘fall in love’ the day after you Shed – or was it the same day? I never thought I’d say this, Amatessandra, but you’re pathetic. After everything you’ve been through, you still want to be loved. You need it, to the bottom of your soul. You poor, deluded fool.”
Tess turned to face him. She was pleased to see that he flinched away as she did. “Dick, I never want to see you again. It won’t go well for you if I do.” Then she continued toward the exit. That sad addict at the bar watched her go, smiling, her lips ringed with sores. Tess was tempted to grab her and pull her out of this damned place. Dick would feed the girl’s addiction not help her. But her own life was such a mess she didn’t think she could help anyone.
As she opened the door, cold air poured in from the parking lot. Behind her, Dick spoke one more time.
“Did Morland mention that he killed his wife?”
Tess froze, shocked.
“Guess not. Well, good luck with the new love of your life.”
The murderer.
Chapter 9
It was remarkable what a little bit of sugar and a handful of toys would do for a kid’s mood.
Probably sloppy parenting, but Darian didn’t care. He stirred the beans heating on their wood stove, a lopsided grin on his face as he listened to Ethan babble with joy over his new Legos. Nothing wrong with the occasional bit of bribery.
No, make that a ‘reward’. He had just turned his son’s life upside down. Torn him away from school, from his friends, and dumped him in a cabin that didn’t even have a tv or running water. Ethan deserved a few presents. For a seven year old, he’d taken this catastrophe pretty damned well.
“Fifteen more minutes, then you need to do some homework,” he reminded the boy.
Ethan wrinkled his nose. “Why do I have to do homework even though I don’t go to school?”
“You have to do homework because you aren’t going to a school. This is called ‘home schooling.’ It means you go to school in your own home.”
Hope brightened his son’s face. “Are the other kids going to come here?”
“No.” His heart ached to see that tiny hope dashed. “It’ll be just us.”
Ethan twirled a Lego between his small fingers. “I miss other kids. I liked school.”
Only two weeks, and he was already lonely. Darian sighed, trying to dismiss the guilt that raised. This was hard on him, and – unlike the boy – he understood why this was necessary. “It’ll only be for a little while, sport.”
Ethan kept staring at the piece of plastic he held. “Did I do something wrong? Did we have to leave because o
f me?”
“No!” He dropped the spoon and hurried to his son’s side. Kneeling, he pulled him into a tight hug. “Of course not! Why would you think that?”
Ethan didn’t say anything. He just burrowed deeper into his father’s arms.
“Nobody did anything wrong,” he assured the child. “There are just some bad things happening. So we needed to come here, where it’s safe. Once things calm back down, we can go home.”
Or to something more like home than this off-the-grid shell of a camp. Someplace that at least had running water and electricity.
A sudden knock interrupted that hug.
Darian bolted to his feet, heart pounding. “Ethan, go to your room now,” he growled. Roused by his fierce, protective love, his Dragon thrashed angrily against the bonds that silenced it. Frightened, his son scrambled away, leaving toys scattered across the cabin floor.
“Who is it?” he called as he slipped toward the door.
A familiar voice answered, “Your neighbor. We need to talk.”
His heart and his Dragon both quieted at once. Darian reminded himself, however, that he didn’t truly know this Tess. He could not assume she was safe. Ethan’s life might depend upon that.
He opened the door and scanned the yard beyond her. To his relief, she seemed to be alone.
Yet something had changed – for the worse. On the few times they’d met, Tess was light-hearted, always ready with a joke or sardonic smile. Now she stood before him, grim and unsmiling.
Emotions – as foolish as they were strong – flooded him. Once more his Dragon began to stir. Something was wrong. She needed help, comforting… something. He needed to…
…he needed to stop treating her like his beloved. She was a stranger, despite that haunting dream. Nothing more. Her problems were not his to fix.
“Come in.”
She shook her head and lowered her voice. “Come outside. I don’t want to scare your son.”
His Dragon grumbled and fretted at that warning. “Ethan! It’s just the lady next door.” Immediately, his son peeked out. When he saw Tess, his face lit up and he waved frantically. The grim ice that froze her face melted slightly and she waved back, a ghost of a smile turning up her lips.
