by Leela Ash
“We’re having beans!” Ethan announced. “Do you want some? Do you want to see my new−”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Tess and I have to talk. Adult talk, okay?”
The boy’s shoulders slumped, dramatically. “Do I have to stay in my room?”
“Yup.”
“Oh.” He heaved a melodramatic sigh. “Can she stay for dinner though?”
“We’ll see.” He half expected the woman to jump at that offer. But the polite, cool mask had settled over her features once more and she stayed quiet. “Back in your room.”
Ethan settled, Darian stepped outside and closed the door. “What’s wrong?”
“You need to leave, soon. You’re not safe here.”
His Dragon seethed, its guardian nature infuriated by the hint of danger to his loved ones.
Love one, Darian reminded himself. He didn’t love Tess.
“What’s wrong?”
She folded her arms across her chest. “My ex cornered me in Bangor today. Turns out he’s working for those Fangs you mentioned.”
His breath hissed through his teeth and, for a moment, he had to close his eyes as his Dragon launched a fierce, fruitless attack on its prison.
“Bad news.” Tess remained cool and flat, like she was repeating the day’s weather. “They know you’re here. Dick – the ex – wanted me to get information from you about something called a ‘Wellspring.’ Don’t say a word!” She held up a finger as he opened his mouth. “The less I know, the less I can be forced to tell.”
As if he would let anyone threaten her!
The thought, unbidden, flashed through his mind. Once again, Darian marveled at the ease with which this stranger had slipped into his trust, into his heart. Almost as if that dream truly was…
Concentrate, he scolded himself. This is no time for daydreams.
“Thank you. We’ll leave tonight.” Another flight, so soon after the first, would break Ethan’s heart. But there was no help for it.
Tess nodded. “Be careful. Dick mentioned that they had people following you. Your realtor is compromised too. That’s how they found this place.”
Dammit. So much for reselling this camp. Good thing he was rich; he could afford a loss. The threat of watchers was a much greater danger. Rat Shifters were peerless spies – and there was only one ‘road’ out of this camp. No doubt they had someone watching. He’d probably pick up a tail before he hit a paved road. With cell phones and accomplices, a pack of Rats could follow him endlessly.
But what other choice did he have? There truly was only one road.
Another suggestion rumbled up from deep inside his soul. Release me, his Dragon ordered. Reclaim yourself. Take back your power. We will return to the skies, where no Rat could ever follow.
Soaring through the clouds, sun on his back, wind whistling around him… the memory of flight slammed through him, waking a bitter longing.
No. Ethan would die if he saw his father change into a monster.
We are not a monster! the Dragon roared. Ethan shares our blood. He is Kindred, where Charity was not. He would not flinch to see your soul!
Maybe that blood would protect him. Maybe not. It wasn’t a chance Darian was willing to take.
Tess waited, unspeaking, studying his face.
“You know this place better than me,” he said. “Is there any other way out besides the road? Some path?”
“We’re on the edge of the Hundred Mile Wilderness, buddy. It doesn’t get much more remote in the Lower 48.”
“So there’s nothing? No trails, no paths…?”
Her arms remained folded in a tight, protective band around her chest. “There’s the Appalachian Trail to the north. But like the sign says, it’s a hundred miles to the next town. The Fangs would have a scout at the end long before you got there.”
Nothing for it, then, except to run the Rat gauntlet.
“Though…” Tess sighed and, for the first time, her arms dropped to her sides. “The Penobscot tribe had trails that ran between the lakes out here. I knew them once and I might be able to, uh, recover those memories. Get us over to Echo Lake where we could bum a ride. Or steal a car.”
That was an odd turn of phrase, yet he welcomed the offer of help. “Thank you.”
Tess nodded glumly, clearly not happy with herself. “Sure. I’ll get the memories in the morning.”
Like they were a bag of groceries, not part of herself. Odder and odder.
“That’s fine. You couldn’t follow a trail in the dark anyways.”
“No, probably not.” She turned her back on him. “Be ready to leave early.”
“Wait.”
She turned back, wary, guarded. “Thank you,” he said, letting his relief warm his words. “I will owe you a Blood Debt. By all rights, I ought to present you with a gold coin to mark this honor.”
“Don’t worry about it. Happy to help,” she said. Sounding anything but happy.
No joke? No laugh? Something was terribly wrong. “Tess? Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” Once more, his Dragon stirred to angry life, ready to strike down anyone who would dared to menace his Mate.
My neighbor, not my Mate.
“Nah. I’m fine. If you disappear, Dick will be ticked off, but he’s not going to hurt me. And, as far as I know, he hasn’t told the Fangs about me. On the bright side, I now know more about Shifters and that ‘Other Side’ of yours. You’re a Dragon, right?”
She said that with perfect calmness. He wasn’t sure if that pleased him, or disappointed him. “Yes. Do you know what type of Shifter you are now?”
“Apparently I’m an Adanai.”
The word meant nothing to him. “What is that? Some Native name for a Bear or Wolf?”
A mocking smile, a hint of her old self, drifted across her lips. “I think it’s Elvish for ‘useless people who sit around looking pretty.’ I don’t turn into anything particularly good.”
That was baffling. He’d never heard of an Adanai before, and he was well-learned in Shifter society. “I may be able to put you in touch with other Shifters that would know more about your Kind.”
“Don’t bother.” That flash of humor disappeared as quickly as it had come. “The one thing I do know about Adanai is that they can dump their memories into rocks. You’ll see tomorrow, because I’m going to have to dig one up to find our trails. I bet everything I need to know about Adanai is in another one.”
Why would someone destroy their own memories?
His Dragon seethed. You destroy your own strength. Why should another not destroy their wisdom? Mortals are foolish.
That stung. Darian tried to ignore it, but it was damned hard to ignore your own soul.
“I’ll go out at dawn and look for those memories. Think I have a good idea what rock they’re under. Be ready to go sometime early. You think your boy will be okay with that?”
“Yes. If he’s too tired, I’ll carry him.” Though he doubted that would be necessary. The prospect of a hike through the woods would probably delight Ethan.
“Okay.” She turned away from him. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
The sight saddened him. There was such grief, such bone-weariness, hiding within her slender form. His urge to protect Ethan warred with a strange yearning. He wanted to take her with them. To flee together, like a family, and create a home someplace new. Far from her past and his failed duties.
A silly fantasy, nothing more. His shoulders sagged as he realized that tomorrow would be the last day he’d see her. A long hike, a friendly handshake… and she’d be gone. Out of his life, forever.
That shouldn’t have mattered. He barely knew her, after all. Yet his heart ached at the loss tomorrow promised.
“Oh, hey. One more thing.” His spirit rose as she turned back toward him. “Dick said that the Fangs didn’t dare attack you directly because of, well, you being a Dragon and all. Guess you guys are pretty kickass. I want you to know that I didn’t tell him that you’d muzzled your Drago
n.”
“That I’d… what?”
“The X-thing over your tattoo’s head? That’s a muzzle, isn’t it? I…” She hesitated as he stared at her in shock. “I thought it was. Figured that was why I can’t see you Shifting all the time, like other Shifters.”
Had he ever taken his shirt off in front of her? No!
“How do you know about that?” he snapped, a hundred dark suspicions leaping into his mind.
“I saw it when you… oh.” Even in the evening’s dim sunlight, he could see her blush deeply. “Hell, I’m sorry. Never-mind. I, uh, had this dream and it was, mmm, pretty vivid.”
No. No, no, no. The world grew hazy and dim around him as he grasped what she was saying. It couldn’t be.
“Vivid enough that I guess I forgot it didn’t really happen. Sorry. Stupid mistake.”
“You dreamed.” He wavered, struggling to quell the confusion in his mind. Somewhere inside himself, he felt his Dragon gloating.
You knew. In your heart, you knew. Yet you ran from that too.
Tess finally noticed his shock, and misunderstood it. “Uh, yeah. I dreamed. That happens a lot, you know,” she teased. “Not every night, but…”
His ears rang and he grew dizzy as he felt his world dissolving, reshaping into something new, and terrible, and wonderful.
Something that might have her, Tess Everlyn, at its heart.
Slowly, pushing through the shock and numbness, he whispered, “There was a garden, falling into ruin. And an arbor with a bed covered in red silken sheets.”
“What the…?” she gasped, now every bit as stunned as he. “How did you know?”
“Because I dreamed it too. We were there together. The Dragon and the Woman Made of Ice.” Was that elfin woman what the Adanai were?
They stared at each other, both dumbfounded by this revelation. Tess was the first to recover – probably because she didn’t know how portentous that dream was. “So this dream-sharing stuff. Is that a Shifter thing?”
“It’s a Dragon thing. It’s… how we choose Mates.”
“Mates. As in…” She swallowed. “‘Dragon and Mate, now and forever’?”
“Yes. You’re my soul-mate, the other half of me.”
“Wow. You have my sympathy. You are one messed up dude if I’m the other half of your soul.”
He could see that she regretted the words as soon as they slipped out. Yet he burst out laughing and, after a second, she joined him. The iron band around his chest eased. This was the Tess he’d seen on that first day. Funny and unguarded.
Heavens above, this changed everything. “You need to come with us.”
That sobered her, with shocking speed. “Look, I appreciate that you have traditions and all. And, well, I admit that that was one damned hot dream. But I’m not ready to drop everything.”
“You own a Harley and a dilapidated tool shed,” he protested. “That’s not a lot to ‘drop.’”
“And a lawn chair,” she muttered, smiling despite herself. “Don’t forget that. I think I’m fond of it.”
“Tess, listen.” He stepped forward and took her delicate hands in his. Her eyes widened and she grew still, watching him with both longing and unease. “This must be incredibly difficult for you. You have one dream, and now some strange man…”
“…strange, hot man…” she corrected, winning a smile from him too.
“Some guy announces you’re soul-mates and you need to elope with him. What are you supposed to think about that?” As she hesitated, he answered the question for her. “Nothing. Don’t think at all. Feel.”
He saw her swallow, hard, and he squeezed her hands. “Your heart knows the truth. Your soul does. Fate brought us together. Yes, you’re right.” He gulped too, but forced himself to continue his confession. “I’m messed up. I’m hardly a Dragon at all. But maybe, together, we can find wholeness. Peace.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed her fingers gently. “Love.”
He let that word sink in. The hope in her eyes – and despair – assured him that she longed for that as much as he did.
“We’re Mates, Tess. We’re meant to be together.”
She let her hands remain in his, but her eyes dropped to the ground. “Was your wife your Mate too?” she asked in a hushed, troubled voice.
“I’ve never been married.”
Her head snapped up. “Ethan’s mother…?”
“Charity DeSelle. She wasn’t my wife.” Close enough, though, that he released Tess and took a step back. Even her name filled him with grief, and shame.
“She’s dead.”
“Yes.” Strange – that sounded like a statement, not a question. “She died when Ethan was two. I’m his biological father and I received custody at that point.”
“So you two were…”
“A mistake. A drunken, careless weekend. But I want you to know that I don’t regret what we did. It gave me the most precious gift in all the world: my son.”
Reserved, suspicious, she studied him. Darian forced himself to meet her gaze calmly. “We weren’t Mates. Neither of us even wanted that. But know that I took care of her. I made sure that she and the baby wanted for nothing. Until she died.”
“Until you killed her.”
So they’d told her. No wonder she’d closed her heart to him. He was lucky she’d even warned him about the Fangs. Darian turned his face away, and nodded.
“Why?” Disgust and horror dripped from every word. “How could you kill the mother of your own child?”
He wanted to make excuses. To blame his Dragon, not himself. In his heart, however, he knew the truth. His weakness, his laziness, caused Charity’s death. A Dragon who was the master of himself, like Brandon Lorde, his Alpha, would never slay his own lover.
He couldn’t even say that. The sight of revulsion on his Mate’s face stilled his tongue.
When he didn’t give an explanation, Tess began to make up her own. “Was it jealousy? Did you find her with another man? I never killed anyone, but I know how that feels. Or anger? Maybe she did… something?”
Even in the midst of this catastrophe, she still tried to excuse him. To find some path where this wasn’t his fault. Love – melancholy and pained –filled him as he realized that. She truly was his Mate. A woman who would always fight to see the best in him.
“No. It wasn’t her fault. Charity was a sweet girl. Silly, shallow, afraid of commitment. But she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. We were not Mates, nor pledged to each other. She saw other men – but that was her right. I was a fun hook up, nothing more.”
“So why did you kill her?”
“Anger. Stupidity.” Tess planted her hands on her hips. Clearly that was not enough of an explanation to satisfy her. Darian sighed and ran through the events of that terrible night, one more time.
“We’d gone out to dinner, to discuss Ethan. I thought she ought to have a maid; the house was a mess on my last visit.” Excuses, again. He caught himself before he listed all the presents he’d given to Charity. They weren’t relevant to the story. This was about his crime, not his ‘generosity.’
“Later, walking back to the car, a man snatched her purse. Charity fell, there was blood, and…”
…her scream, high and terrified…
“I flew into a rage. At him, that he should harm an innocent. At myself, because I didn’t protect her. And in that moment I… I…”
Say it. No Claim without Truth.
“I lost control of my Dragon. I shifted, in front of two humans.”
There. His confession was done. He raised his head and met her gaze, ready to accept contempt or condemnation.
Instead, he found bafflement. Tess squinted at him, her head cocked to the side. “And that killed them? Oookay. I thought I understood this Shifting stuff but, uh, clearly, I missed the part about it killing all the people around the Shifter.”
“No, you misunderstand. Shifting doesn’t hurt humans. Most, however, panic or become confused. Charity�
��” He swallowed. Even after five years, touching that memory was like grabbing a razor blade. “Charity was one of those. She fled in terror. She ran from me, blindly, into traffic and was struck, and killed.”
“Wait. So this was an accident? You didn’t actually murder her?”
“It was negligence. An ‘accident’ I should have prevented. If I…”
Without warning, fury lit his Mate’s eyes. “SON OF A BITCH!” Tess howled. “Son of a…!” Ethan’s new football lay nearby. In a rage, she punted it hard enough to send it flying off into the woods.
This was not the reaction he expected. Disgust, yes, but did he truly deserve such anger? Darian folded his arms behind his back and waited until this emotion left her.
She threw herself into furious pacing, back and forth across the cabin’s ratty ‘lawn.’ “I am an idiot,” she hissed. “I am such an idiot.”
Tess was angry at herself? Not him? “I don’t understand.”
“Dick. My ex.” Finally, she stopped, though her hands were balled into fists. “I knew he was a liar. I knew I couldn’t trust him. But the moment he said ‘Darian Morland murdered his wife’ I still believed him! Because yeah, that’s just my luck. That’s exactly what I’d do: fall in love with a wife-killer.”
What had she said?
Love?
She loved him?
Relief swept through him, made him waver on his feet. She didn’t hate him. There was hope, a chance that he truly had found his soul-mate. Fate offered him – a Dragon who had abandoned his duties, failed to protect his charges – another chance at happiness. The thought stunned him, dazzled him.
Somewhere, his Dragon laughed at his foolishness and lack of faith.
Even now, though, he couldn’t bring himself to seize that hope too quickly. “In a sense, the man spoke truly. I did kill Charity.”
“No. Dick lied. He was just smart enough to know that the best lies contain a grain of truth.” Tess stepped up to him and slipped her arms, clad in motorcycle leathers, around his waist. “What happened was a tragedy. A terrible accident. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should have…”
“Stop.” She pulled him tight. Without thinking, he joined her embrace. Warm and soft, she snuggled against him. Forgiveness given in human form. “You can’t blame yourself for this. Yes, you made a mistake. Yes, Charity died – and that’s horrible. All you’re doing now, though, is tearing yourself apart. It doesn’t help you. It doesn’t help Ethan. You need to be happy. Hell, you deserve it.”
