G-Spot

by Noire

  It was three days before Christmas when Jimmy came home one night and told me he was making an overnight run to Atlantic City. G was at the Spot counting drugs in the cut room, and me and Gino were decorating the Christmas tree that G had brought home earlier in the day.

  We’d never been big on Christmas growing up. It was easy to overlook it when there was never any money to buy presents. G always bought me and Jimmy expensive gifts for the holiday, but this would also be the first time we put up a tree in celebration of it, and the only reason he went out and got one was because Gino said he wanted one.

  Like I said, G wasn’t cheap. He believed in buying quality shit, and I was so happy when I saw the frosted glass ornaments and handmade balls and bells he had picked out for the tree. At first I was mad that he hadn’t thought about letting me choose what to get, but as usual his taste was good and I knew I couldn’t have picked anything prettier or classier myself.

  I was standing back giving Gino directions on where to place the angel when Jimmy walked in.

  “Hey. That tree is hot.” He kissed me on the cheek and that’s when I saw the overnight bag he was holding in his hand.

  “Where you going?”

  “South,” he said.

  “Baltimore?”

  “Nah. Jersey. I’ll be back sometime tomorrow.”

  This is what it had come to between Jimmy and me. I couldn’t even tell him what to do anymore, and I sure couldn’t forbid him to do anything G had assigned him to do. I knew we hadn’t lost our closeness, but Jimmy had moved beyond my reach and I didn’t like it. If he had been stepping up to manhood in a different way then that would have been cool. But all this drug-running, money-washing shit he was involved in scared me.

  And I knew that I had to take some of the blame for what was going on. I had convinced myself that being Granite McKay’s woman was going to set me and my brother up lovely for life, when actually it had made us slaves to his operation. Jimmy wouldn’t even be in this situation if I hadn’t gotten with G and dragged him into G’s world. In trying to take care of my brother I had actually ruined him, and while I didn’t like to even think about it, in my heart I knew this was all my fault.

  “Be careful, Jimmy,” was all I could say.

  He nodded. “I’m cool, Juicy. I’ma stop and check out Flex for a minute, then I’m out.”

  I almost dropped the glass ornament I was holding. “Flex? You hanging out with Flex now?”

  “C’mon, Juicy. You know me and Flex go way back. What? You still wondering about that shit with Macaroni? Or since we live in the big house and Fletcher’s still out in the fields he can’t be my man no more?”

  I shrugged. “That’s not what I’m saying. I just thought . . . nothing, Jimmy.”

  He reached out and hugged me again. “Stop all that damn worrying all the time. Looking like Grandmother. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me. I’ma hit the Lower East Side and check out my dawg, then I’m headed south for the night.”

  When Jimmy didn’t show up by the next night I started to get scared. I called his cell phone but the answering service picked up, and he hadn’t called the house at all. I walked around the Spot with my chest hurting, I was so worried about him. Everybody else was dancing and fucking and drinking and eating and doing their normal thing, when my world felt like it was spinning out of control and I couldn’t stop it.

  I sat at the bar and for the first time I actually considered ordering a drink. My nerves were just that bad. Cooter came down wiping the counter and smiling at me, and for a minute I saw something flicker in his eyes, and then it was gone.

  “Y-y-ou want something, J-j-j-uicy? Some s-s-soda? A bottle of w-w-water?”

  He’d gotten his stutter back. I shook my head. “Nah. My stomach is too upset to put anything in it. Has Jimmy called?”

  Cooter dropped his rag. “N-n-nah. I ain’t h-h-heard from him.”

  He bent down and picked up his rag, and as soon as he walked away I snatched up the bar phone and called Gino.

  “Gino,” I said quickly. “Jimmy ain’t back yet. I think something mighta happened to him.”

  “Why you think that?”

  “Because he told me he was staying in Jersey overnight, and then coming right back home.”

  “I’m running the card room right now, but did you ask G what time Jimmy was due back?”

  I sighed. “No. Not yet. I’ll go ask him now.”

  “I don’t know where the fuck your brother is,” G said when I stopped him on his way toward his office. “He shoulda had his ass back here with my package by early this afternoon.”

  G was talking bad, but he sure didn’t look concerned.

  “Well, do you know if he at least made it down there safe? What if he got into an accident? Or maybe the cops got him? Ain’t there somebody you can call in Jersey to see if they know where he is?”

  G unlocked his office door and stepped inside. “If the cops had him he would have called. If he wrecked the car, the cops would have called. Jimmy’s smelling his fuckin nuts, that’s the problem. I thought I could trust him so I let him have a lot of area to move, and now the niggah’s trying to test me.”

  I couldn’t believe this shit he was talking.

  “G! You know damn well that boy ain’t testing you! Jimmy loves you! He put you over me, and if it ever came down to it he would die for you. How could you even fix your mouth to accuse him of being shady?”

  He turned around and stared at me. “Money will do that shit to you. It makes a whole lot of niggahs act shady.” Then he left me standing there in the hall and closed the door in my face.

  Now I was really scared, but I didn’t know what to do. Who could I call in Jersey? Nobody. I didn’t know the connect Jimmy was going to meet, and after what had happened to me in Camden, I didn’t wanna know none of those Jersey niggers neither.

  I thought about Flex and wondered if Jimmy had told him anything. Other than going over to his territory in Taft projects, I had no way of getting in touch with Flex either.

  I went to the coatroom and got my cute little swing coat and put it on. Since all I ever did was run out of the apartment and jump into Pacho’s warm ride, I never bothered with a hat or gloves unless it was way past cold and downright nasty outside. I knew I was gonna freeze like a mother, but I didn’t care. G was talking shit that didn’t make no sense, Gino was too busy to pay me any mind, and my brother was out there somewhere doing who knows what.

  I cornered Moonie behind the bar and asked him for fifty dollars. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I think the tears coming out my eyes convinced him that I was desperate. I had never asked Moonie for anything before, and I gave less than a fuck about him running back and telling G, just as long as I had enough to get down to Taft Houses and talk to the man who had been the last person, as far as I knew, to see my baby brother.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  There were hardly any cabs running at this time of night, especially in Harlem, but I managed to catch one that had a Black Pearl sign in the front window. It was cold as hell outside, and cute didn’t mean shit as I sat in the back of that taxi shivering and blowing into my bare hands.

  “How much do you charge to wait for me?” I asked the driver when we pulled up outside the projects.

  “Depends on how long. I gotta make a living, you know.”

  Fuck you, I said under my breath. His ass would have charged me tourist rates anyway. Probably ten dollars for every two minutes, and I sure couldn’t afford that.

  I paid him and got out the cab in front of the housing office and walked deeper into the projects. Taft wasn’t part of my stomping grounds and I didn’t know too many people over here. I tipped down the walkways in my heels and flimsy coat trying to play it cool and confident like I lived in one of the buildings and wasn’t down for no bullshit.

  It was late but you know the freaks come out at night in New York, and corner runners were calling out to me from the doorways offering me crack and blo
w left and right. I knew my luck was bad when it started to snow. I was all for a white Christmas, but damn! Did it have to start right now? My A-line JuicyOriginal dress only let me move but so fast, and my coat sleeves were too wide to help keep my hands warm.

  I was frozen by the time I made it to the building that Flex worked from. I wasn’t even on the porch good when he pulled open the door and came outside.

  “Girl, what you doing out here by yourself this time of night?”

  “H-hey Flex,” I said, shivering and going through the door as he stepped back and held it open. Inside the lobby wasn’t much warmer than it was outside. About half of the windows were busted out, and the other half were boarded over.

  “What you doing down here, Juicy? Looking all frozen. Don’t you know it’s too damn cold to try to look fine tonight?” There were about six men hanging out in the hall, lookouts whose job it was to make sure that 5-0 didn’t rush in and catch nobody holding any product.

  “Jimmy,” I said, following Flex into the stairwell so we could talk in private. “I’m looking for Jimmy. He made a run for G yesterday and was supposed to be back this afternoon. He didn’t show up yet, and I thought maybe he was down here with you.”

  Flex shook his head. “Nah. He ain’t here. He did roll through yesterday, though, and I tried to get him to stay here with me, but that niggah loves him some G, so he stepped.”

  I leaned against the hand railing. “Why would you want him to stay with you? What’s up with that?”

  Flex reached out and took my hands. He had on some thick black gloves with fur sticking all out of them and he pulled them off his hands and put them on mine, warming me up. “Juicy. If anybody in the world should know what time it is with me, you and Jimmy should know. I told you a long time ago. I’ma be rich, girl. I’ma be holding all the stops one of these days, and I want you and Jimmy both to be down with me.”

  “Boy, you crazy—”

  “Didn’t I tell your grandmother I was gonna snatch you up and set you up for life? She believed me, so why the fuck don’t you?”

  “Flex!” I damn near shouted. “This ain’t about you and me! This is about my brother, all right? This is about finding out where the fuck Jimmy is!”

  He didn’t say nothing for a minute. Then that little bucktooth niggah snatched his gloves off my hands and put them back on his. My fingers missed that warm fur. “You fine, Juicy, but you stupid. You and Jimmy both. A niggah wanna put y’all down, and y’all don’t even know which line you should be standing on.”

  “Boy, what the hell are you talking about?”

  Flex looked sad and mad. “Nothing, Juicy.” He opened the door and pushed me back out of the stairwell. “Your brother ain’t here, but if he shows up again I’ll let him know you looking for him. Jimmy my niggah and I love him, but I can’t make his eyes see what his mind can’t believe is there.”

  I followed Flex back out into the night, and as crazy as he was he still had the decency to help me catch a cab going uptown.

  “You coulda been Mrs. Boykin,” Flex said, opening the cab’s door for me. “Tell this cabby to go on about his business and stay here with me, and you still can.”

  I jumped into that cab so fast I broke the heel off my shoe. “Later, Fletcher,” I said, waiting for him to close the door. “I’ll check you later.”

  When I got back to the Spot Jimmy still hadn’t showed up, even though I had been praying he’d be there when I walked inside, and I had already rehearsed how I was gonna curse his ass out for making me worry so much.

  The next day was Christmas Eve, and he didn’t show up then either. I called his cell phone every thirty minutes and I almost wore a hole in the floor pacing, I was so scared of what might have happened to him.

  I couldn’t eat anything because my nerves were too bad, and my head was banging from grinding my teeth together all night. I was searching through the medicine cabinet for a Tylenol when G called for me to come out the bathroom.

  I went into the living room where he was watching a movie with Gino.

  “Yeah?”

  G stood up. “I want you to take a ride with Gino. Jimmy still ain’t showed up with my shit, and I want y’all to go to Atlantic City and check out a few places for me.”

  I glanced at Gino, who just looked at me and shrugged.

  “G, I don’t know nothing about Atlantic City. If I knew where to start looking for Jimmy down there I would have been down there already.”

  “I’ma tell y’all where to look, Juicy, damn! Gino’s gonna be running things. Only reason you going is to make Jimmy come on back and face up to what he did like a man.”

  “Why do you keep saying that, G? You know Jimmy ain’t done nothing wrong! He could be laying up hurt somewhere or even dead, and all you can think is that he might have crossed you?”

  “Wise the fuck up, Juicy. Your brother broke out with my money. He didn’t give a fuck about me, and he didn’t give a fuck about you neither, or he would have took you with him.”

  I kept shaking my head. “G, you wrong. You know Jimmy wouldn’t do nothing foul like that.”

  G ignored me. “Gone, Gino. Y’all get ready to go. Pacho is gonna take us all down to the Spot. The Benz is there, and it’s already gassed up. You can get the keys from Moonie, then take it and hit all the places I told you about. Find Jimmy and bring him back up here to me. Don’t hurt him, but make sure that niggah is back in Harlem before the night is over.”

  “I need to make a few stops,” I told Gino as he pushed the fly Benz through Harlem. The weather was changing, getting real nasty. We’d left G at the Spot, and I told Gino to swing me back to the apartment on Central Park West so I could change out of the suede designer dress I was wearing and into something more comfortable for the ride to Atlantic City. It had started to snow again, real hard, and after I put on a pair of jeans and some warm Timbs, I made sure I grabbed a wool hat and some gloves, too.

  But that’s not all I grabbed.

  My stomach was jumping from fear. I didn’t trust G as far as I could smell his ass, and no matter how many times Gino told me everything was gonna be okay, I had a bad feeling about everything. About G, about taking this ride into Atlantic City, and especially about Jimmy.

  If shit got crazy and I had to help my brother, I needed to be prepared. First I went into my bedroom and locked the door. I trusted Gino, but the less shit I had to explain, the better. I took down the mirrored panel off the wall again and opened G’s safe. The same stuff was still in there as the last time. I took the brick of money and separated it in two stacks, sliding half of it into a MGM bag and leaving the other half in the safe.

  I was about to slam the door closed when I caught a glimpse of the brown envelope, the one that held the small gold key. I shook the key out of the envelope then slipped it onto my key ring right next to the ones that opened the downstairs door and the front door of the apartment.

  I threw the envelope back inside, not even bothering to put it back in the exact same spot like I had done before. G didn’t go in his safe every day, but all he would have to see was half his money gone to know that somebody had been in there dipping, and of course the most likely suspect would be me.

  Deep inside I had a feeling that I had just crossed the point of no return with Granite McKay. Nothing in my life was gonna be the same anymore, and as coldblooded as G was it scared me more to be ass-out and unable to take care of Jimmy than it did to steal G’s money and risk him finding out. Yeah, if he knew I’d had the heart to go in his safe he would kill me, but just sitting around waiting for him to get rid of me was like suicide.

  After closing the safe and putting the mirrored panel back, I grabbed a bag that I had used for my dance clothes, and then I opened my closet and found my school bag. I took the Juicy Journal, the copies I had made of G’s black binder, and the folded sheet of paper that had my grandmother’s gravesite information on it, and put them all in my dance bag and pulled the string closed. Feeling paranoi
d about G’s money, I made sure the latch was closed on the MGM bag, but then at the last minute I opened it up again and stuck my key ring into the inside pocket, pausing just long enough for one last look at the picture of me, Jimmy, and Grandmother that was sealed in hard plastic and dangling from the ring.

  And then I was set. Gino locked the front door as we left the apartment, and we went downstairs and got into the black Benz in silence.

  “You okay?” he looked over at me and asked. Gino’s voice was soft and he reached out and touched my cold cheek with one hand. “You hungry? You wanna get something to eat first?”

  I shook my head. “Rita’s,” I said. “I need to stop at Rita’s house.”

  He swung me by there and didn’t even ask why I needed to see her at that time of night. Outside Rita’s apartment, I stood on the stoop and banged until she opened the door.

  “I gotta make a run, Rita,” I said, passing her both of my bags. “Hold these someplace safe for me until I get back, okay?”

  She took the bags without asking what was inside.

  “What’s up, Juicy?” she said, shivering. “Where you goin?”

  I shook my head. “Looking for Jimmy. Gino is taking me so I’ll be all right.”

  Minutes later me and Gino were on the road. As we drove down the highway I thought about the last time I had taken a ride for G. As scared as I was then, I was even more afraid now because I didn’t know if I was gonna find my brother dead or alive at the end of the journey.

  Still, it was cold outside so Gino had the heat blasting and the car was rocking me like a baby. Scared or not, I fell asleep about two exits after we got on the Garden State and when I woke up again I saw the bright lights of Atlantic City in front of us.

  “You aaight? Feeling better?” Gino asked when he saw that I was up.

  Hell no, I wanted to say. But instead I just shook my head and kept looking ahead so he couldn’t spot the tears trying to fall out my eyes.