Chasing Paradise (Chasing Series #3)

by Pamela Ann

  “Over my dead body! Like hell I was going to watch that stupid fool marry some floozy.” Lucy fumed, before I caught the moisture that was gathering around her eyes.

  She was hurting, but too stubborn to admit that she wanted him back.

  “Talk to him. You two are still in love, why waste time?” I said the words, but wondered if that applied to Sienna and I.

  “What for? Have you seen the catastrophe outside? He’s about to get married Blake. My eyes are wide open, disbelieving the events that are going on around me. But that doesn’t make it any less real. I’m throwing in the towel.” She shot the words like they were some sort of goodbye.

  Moving over to her, I gave her a quick hug and kissed her forehead. “Have a safe fight back, Lucy.”

  She gave me a teary smile, before she dashed towards the doors and left for good.

  I was here, somewhere in this Cathedral, wondering if my relationship was just as doomed as theirs. I’ve known these two for years, Toby since childhood, and I could’ve betted my soul that these two were going to be together. They were so in love, but somewhere down the line, it became tattered as they let people pierce their armor. Together they fell. Miserable. Lonely. Alone.

  Where did my fate lie?

  The knock on the door brought me out of my reverie and back to my present. It was a one of the events coordinator telling me that it was time to get to the altar with the groom.

  Toby was really going to marry someone he didn’t loved. Someone he despised and loathed.

  The world was a bloody twisted thing. Ugly and grotesque, but one shall survive and adapt.

  ~B~

  We were now heading out of the Cathedral, on our way to the reception. The wedding took an hour and fifteen minutes. I watched with a heavy heart as my friend took his vows, promising love and forever to the woman alongside him, sounding like a bloody robot as the despicable woman just smiled with bravado, knowing quite well she captured a good man.

  Women like Amelia were relentless and the world was packed with women with the likes of her.

  I wanted to protest, but a quick glance at Chad and Sienna holding each other’s hands, teary and gutted, I knew that things were meant to be this way. Toby was going to be a father soon. The man needed my support, not my opinion.

  Life wasn’t fair. Toby knew it, but he was taking it in strides, becoming a man I admired.

  Twenty

  Sienna

  I caught Adriana talking to Blake when I came to look for him. Toby worked with her and from what I gathered, became a good friend of his as well. My hateful distaste for the woman became intense as the time ticked by.

  Her sultry glances towards Blake were driving me insane. Yes, I was scared and jealous that she could easily tempt him, because let’s face it; Blake wasn’t all that enthralled with me anymore.

  Not like before.

  “I don’t like her.” I muttered, getting riled up the second he shut the car door.

  “Who? Adriana? Why?” The stupid man asked.

  I glared at him, gauging if he really was acting stupid. “She likes you—no—I actually think she wants you.”

  “No—what you’re seeing is us building friendship. She and I got really close over the weeks.” Blake tried to explain, nonchalant.

  I tensed, freaking out inside. Shit. Shit. Shit! “How close?”

  He was on his mobile, sorting through messages, responding to me. “Close enough. I talk to her once in awhile.”

  So, the bitch was worming her way into him by lending a shoulder to cry on? Fucking skanky bitch! Why couldn’t she find her own man and leave mine alone? I simmered, trying to train my jealousy into a lull. “Why don’t you talk to me?”

  Blake was typing a reply, sending it before he threw me a glance, unreadable. “Because you’re always… unavailable.”

  True, maybe my internship was taking up a lot of my time, but I could meet him halfway. “Then I’ll make time.”

  Blake gave a dry laugh, looking at me like I had conjured these things in my head. “Sienna, there’s no need for you to be jealous okay? She and I are purely platonic.”

  “Well, you should tell her that then. She’s too comfortable with you. Too familiar and I don’t like it at all.” I folded my arms, still not convinced.

  He barely shook his head, not bothering to answer me.

  “Do you find her beautiful, Blake?” I asked, knowing the bitch was an astounding ten in any man’s ranking.

  Blake glared at me, patience running thin. “Sienna—this is ridiculous!”

  “Just answer the question.” I persisted, not wanting to drop the subject until he told me the truth.

  “Yes, I think she’s beautiful,” Blake murmured, looking away.

  I asked for it, but I was left speechless because the red lights were flashing in my head. Blake hasn’t kissed me, hasn’t made love to me or declared his love, ever since that last time in his office.

  Things were going down the drain; I was trying to hang on to a sinking boat. When will I start looking for something to stay afloat and wait it out, or will I brave it out, bare without anything other than faith?

  I could feel life slipping off me. Slowly, it dwindled away, draining me, until I was no more.

  Acting wasn’t a good forte, but I managed throughout the reception as Chad and Luke kept me entertained.

  When I got an email from my conservator telling me that the documents are ready and could fax it right away, I asked Luke and Chad to Marbella’s fax number, knowing that we were heading out there tonight. We have commuted from Madrid to Marbella twice already.

  Shooting my quick reply attached with the fax information, I was somewhat happy at the thought of leaving my will to the orphans. The thought of the Brown’s getting my money turned me cold and bitter.

  The night dragged on, before Chad and Luke said their goodbyes because they had to head out to London for the last flight because Luke was New York bound tomorrow and they wanted to spend sometime together.

  “Take care of my love, Luke. Make him happy.” I hugged Luke, before sadness filled my heart as I glanced at the beaming Chad.

  “I don’t’ get to see you as much. I’ve missed you.” I kissed his lips, knowing that life was never going to be the same. We were all growing up, leading our own lives.

  Chad kissed my forehead. “I’m only a call away. Don’t let that bitch get her claws into your man. I can smell her shit a mile away.” He peered at me, knowing what was running through my head. “And for the record, you’re so much hotter, so don’t let her confidence run you over, baby love. You’re wearing his engagement ring. You’re entitled to him. So tell her to back the fuck off. Or you want me to do it for you?”

  Chad was truly a great friend, but I could fight my own battles, whatever was left with my spirit, I guess. “I’ll speak to her.” I assured him, before they left the place.

  I was walking around looking for Blake. My tracks froze the second I saw them laugh together.

  Something broke inside me. And before I knew it, I was striding towards them.

  I have had enough.

  “Excuse me, but I need to speak to my fiancée privately.” I rudely interrupted, pinning the bitch down with don’t-fuck-with-me-eyes.

  Adriana’s laughter died, before she gave me a sour smile, excusing herself.

  She wasn’t even out of earshot before I shot at Blake. “Fire her.” I demanded, fuming.

  He looked perplexed. “I beg your pardon?”

  I gritted my teeth, running out of fuel. “I said. Fire. Her.”

  “No. It’s unjustifiable. Just because you’re jealous, you can’t just throw around weight into someone’s welfare.” Blake dragged me to the nearest corner, wanting privacy.

  Jealousy was a horrid thing. “So you’re not going to do shit about it?” I pressed on.

  His nose flared, standing his ground. “No, Sienna. I won’t.”

  I yanked my arm of his hold, belligerent. “Fine
! Fucking fine!” I spat at him, before walking towards the direction where Adriana took earlier, scouring the place that was surrounded with people celebrating the new nuptials.

  Yeah, I was crazy, but I needed to resolve this tonight. I wasn’t going to let it go, I knew as much. Spotting Adriana leaning against the patio doors, watching the fountain lights changed into different colors before I stopped right next to her.

  My intentions were for me to calmly discuss this rationally like adults, as civilly as possible. But that intention went out the window the second I opened my mouth. “You want him.”

  Adriana darted me a knowing look, before glancing back to what she was staring at before I got here. “I do.” She paused, unwavering. “Give it a few more months and I think he will too.” She let the words sink into me, before adding more barbs. “I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but you two don’t spend that much time together, and from what I can see, your relationship is strained—awkward even.” She sounded thoughtful, like she knew Blake, me—us as a couple. “I believe your engagement ring is for show. But I think the second they catch the people who caused you harm, he’ll leave. I think he’s blaming himself for that accident, but take that out of the picture, what else do you two have?” Adriana glanced at me, making sure I understood what she meant. “The love has come and gone…everyone can attest to that.”

  Everyone? Pure utter bull. “First off. Fuck. You.” I spat at her, losing it. “Second, your just his assistant. What the hell do you know about my relationship with Blake? You don’t know shit!”

  Adriana looked at me with sorry in her eyes—not for what she said, but at me—she thought I was pathetic. “I may just be his assistant, but I’m with him all hours of the day. He talks to me. Blake laughs with me. He jokes with me. Not once did I see him smile with you. Doesn’t that tell you something?” She shook her head, as if I should know these things already. That Blake was slowly moving on without me—to her.

  I wasn’t going to lie because her words hurt. Knowing quite well that it was somewhat true, Blake was different. As much as I wanted things to be the same, they weren’t anymore. “He loves me.” I said the words, but somehow not sure if they were true anymore.

  Adriana caught on me. “Maybe, he probably still does, but the passion is not there anymore. Do you know how difficult his life is? Do you have any idea? No? Of course you don’t. Because you never cared or bothered. All you care about is your damn life. Blake already has a lot on his plate. Add more of your drama and he’s a walking exhaustion.” Adriana spun on she side, focusing on me now. “Don’t you see? You’re toxic. You need to get out of his life and let him be. He’s miserable with you.” Adriana shook her head, disgusted. “You need to set him free. You’re not good for him. Everyone thinks so. Everyone thinks that he would’ve been better off with that Camilla woman. Basically, anyone but you.” She looked me up and down, before leaving me, speechless and in shambles.

  I made Blake miserable? I did, I knew too, which made it so much worse. I didn’t know how long I stood there, but when I went to go look for Blake, I saw him engaging in a avid conversation with her. I smiled through my tears, somehow seeing what Adriana pointed out—she was right.

  I knew somewhere, security was watching me like a hawk because Gareth had a family emergency, I didn’t have any second choice but concede with the security detail. Seeking our driver, I directed him to the airstrip where Blake’s jet and pilots were waiting to take us back to Marbella. I made an excuse of not feeling well and that they should head back out to Madrid the second we landed in Marbella.

  Blake’s people worked efficiently, and an hour later, we landed in Marbella, a chauffeured car awaited for my arrival. Thanking the pilots and both stewardesses, I strode towards the car, wanting to go back to the house and send out the paperwork needed by my conservator.

  When I finally got to his villa, I darted out and raced towards his office. Signed and dated, I faxed the paperwork back before I took hold of the most expensive cognac in my hand and guzzled it like it was water.

  Still in my designer silk gown, I gathered the ends of it, barefoot with the bottle of alcohol and my phone in the other, before I descended the stairs towards the beach.

  The last time I was here, I was hopeful. Now, I stood here, with no hope at all. Tears flowed freely before I took gulps from the bottle.

  The need to talk to someone was killing me. Folding, I tried calling Lucy but she was not picking up. I tried Chad’s phone, but it went straight to voicemail.

  So, that left me with one person.

  Smiling sadly, I was going to lose it if he didn’t pick up my call.

  “Hey—Si. What’s up?” Kyle greeted me on the other end, sounding off.

  Hearing his voice didn’t send any relief to my troubled mind. “Kyle…were still friends right? I can still call you and talk, right?” my voice shook as I asked him the questions.

  Kyle knew me too well. He wouldn’t tell me to fuck off even if his guts were screaming for him to. “Of course. Why would you even question that? It’s a given.”

  Maybe if I spilled, he’ll make them go away. Kyle used to make them go away. “I don’t feel all that great—I thought I was fine, but I was pretending.” I swallowed my tears, not wanting them free. “Someone wants me dead. The accident I told you about in LA were premeditated. I got more hints to scare me away.”

  “Fuck! Is there any investigation going on? Shit, I’m sure Blake is doing everything in his power to catch them. Don’t worry.” Kyle conceded, convincing himself that Blake got it under control.

  If only that was my real problem. “He is—but what if I just disappear? Wouldn’t that be for the best?”

  Kyle became quiet in the other line. “Don’t. You. Dare. Pull anything stupid, Sienna. This is not like what happened with the Brown’s. Don’t even fucking go there.” He was now screaming into my ear, but I was numb from the alcohol.

  I couldn’t feel anything, other than my heart, beating life, breathing death. “It sort of is. I’m a fuck-up. I’m fucked in the head. The Brown’s did a good job in fucking me even though they’re not part of my life.”

  Kyle was now perking up, knowing me too well. He was my best friend for years. I didn’t have to tell him anything. He just knew. “Sienna—where are you?”

  His question registered in my mind as I looked around the darkened beach, the sky dark with angry looking clouds, indicating that rain was upon the horizon. Large boulders were close by, so I slowly strolled to it. “Somewhere dark…” I looked down at my toes, the soft wave caressed it, before I let go of my silk dress, letting it soak in the water. “I think I have had enough.” I choked out. “I miss dad.”

  My dad would know how to make me feel better. I was drowning and there was no way to stop it.

  “Sienna…please. You have people that care for you.” Kyle reasoned. “You have Blake that loves you more than anything.” He paused, choked up. “I love you, Si.”

  “I love you too, Kyle.” Feeling the loss of him great, but losing Blake was much more profound. “I’ll speak to you soon, okay?”

  “Sienna—no! Don’t hang up!” Kyle screeched, but I ended it anyway, before throwing it out in the sand.

  I wanted to get drunk and float away…maybe if I die then things will be much better off for me.

  The fresh sprinkle of rain was welcomed by my teary face, as I closed my eyes, feeling it kiss my face. It may be raining, but I felt the sun on me, drawing me towards it.

  Rain. It reminded me so much of my childhood. My father used to tell me stories when it used to rain. I felt my father with me. Right now. Surrounding me with comfort, wrapping me with love.

  My dreams had their purpose.

  They were glimpses of my death.

  Rain. Water. The vast sea ahead of me, awaited my arrival. So, I went out and basked into the rainstorm, wanting to wash away my

  Twenty-one

  Blake

  “Knightly,” I di
stractedly said through my phone as Adriana kept on pushing the idea of twenty questions at me. True, I was drunk, but not so drunk as to pour secrets out to my assistant.

  “It’s Kyle Matthews—”

  I turned red-hot in a flash. Where in the bloody fuck did this cretin come off? “Leave. Us. Alone.”

  “I second that!” Adriana chirped next to me.

  My sharp, penetrating glance made her shut up.

  “You’re with another woman? You fucking left Sienna for another woman?” Kyle was yelling into my ear. “Had I known I was leaving her to her death, I would have never left England! Tell me where the fuck she is and I’ll get someone else to help her!”