The Summer House

by Susan Mallery

  It lurked in the background, never obvious, but never absent. It was as if everything inside her vibrated slightly when he was near. The sensation was acutely pleasant.

  She closed her eyes and did her best to get lost in the moment. Whatever she might feel about Rick was interesting, but not significant. They weren’t ever going to be more than what they were. Now if he’d been like this eight years ago, things might have been different.

  Her eyes popped open and she sighed. Honesty insisted that she acknowledge that unless she got the chance to go back and make her former self more mature, the marriage was still doomed to failure. She’d had unrealistic expectations about the relationship from the start.

  She heard Rick slam down the phone and mutter something. He stalked out to the deck and flopped down in the chair next to hers. She adjusted her sun hat so she could see him and lowered her sunglasses on her nose.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He shrugged and reached for his lemonade. “I’m arguing with the board about a project. It’s a pet project of John’s—he’s on the board. He wants me to approve it, but it doesn’t work. We’ve recreated the experiment three times and the results don’t match what the inventor told us they would be. I don’t know where he got his data, but it wasn’t using this particular experiment. I recommended that we pass on the project.”

  Mandy shoved her glasses back in place. “Let me guess. John’s having a cow about the whole thing.”

  Some of Rick’s tension eased as he grinned. “I wouldn’t have phrased it that way, but, yes.”

  She grinned. “There’s nothing like hanging out with a bunch of kids to keep one’s descriptions creative.”

  “I guess.”

  They were both casually dressed in shorts and shirts. She wasn’t sure what he thought of her attire, but she was darned appreciative of his long, powerful legs and the way his shoulders filled out his T-shirt. She took a sip of lemonade to cool herself down and returned her attention to the conversation at hand.

  “So what happens now?” she asked.

  “We argue.” He shrugged. “It’s pretty common at the foundation. Everyone is brilliant and everyone has an opinion. Very few projects get through easily. But that’s what makes things work. John knew I’d tell him the truth when he asked me to review the material. I don’t think he knew the information was bogus. Now he’s mad, but he’ll get over it.”

  “So you won’t get in trouble for disagreeing with the boss?”

  “Not even close.” He set his glass back on the table. “The frustrating part is we’ve run the experiment three times. John knows that in science, like in life, if you put the same elements together in the same way, you get the same result.”

  She straightened in her chair. “That doesn’t happen in life.”

  “Sure it does.”

  “Not if there are people involved. No two situations are ever exactly the same outside of a controlled environment. Life is many things, but it’s not controlled.”

  He didn’t look convinced.

  “What about us?” she continued. “We’re not the same people we were eight years ago. We’re completely different, so this situation is completely different.”

  “If that’s true, then the elements aren’t the same.”

  “My point is people aren’t elements.”

  “They can be.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re being deliberately difficult.”

  A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe.”

  “Figures.” She decided a change of subject would be best for both of them. “I’m heading back to Los Angeles for a couple of days. I received a call last night from Daisy, Eva’s foster mother. Eva’s the little girl I told you about.”

  “I remember. Is everything all right?”

  “Yes. I have official permission to spend time with Eva, so I thought I’d start by going to the Long Beach aquarium with her. Eva really likes the ocean and things that live in it.”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “I hope it will be.”

  Mandy tried to act casual about the whole thing, but she was pretty excited. Although she still wasn’t sure that she would have the guts to adopt a special-needs child on her own, she wanted to seriously consider the possibility. Rather than simply spend time with Eva, she’d gone through the process of receiving official clearance so there would be no holdup if she did go forward with the adoption. Better to be prudent than make waves.

  Rick leaned back in his chair. “Want company?”

  She stared at him. “What?”

  “I’m not doing anything for the next couple of days. We could go down in my car. Spend the night in some fancy hotel.” He held up his free hand. “Separate rooms. I know. No fooling around in the name of closure.” He shrugged. “I thought it might be fun.”

  She didn’t understand. No man in her acquaintance had ever been willing to get within throwing distance of Eva. “Are you talking about coming to the aquarium with us?” she asked cautiously.

  “If you wouldn’t mind.”

  His obvious acceptance of the situation surprised her. But then she reminded herself that they were nothing but friends working on the past.

  “Um, that would be great. Thanks.”

  As there was going to be a young child to worry about, they drove down in Rick’s sedan rather than his convertible.

  “Safety versus flash,” he said as they pulled into the modest Torrance neighborhood. “She doesn’t need a car seat or anything, does she?”

  Mandy shook her head. “She’s eight. She’ll be fine in the back seat.”

  She directed him to turn right at the corner, then left at the stop sign. Although she spoke calmly, he could feel her tension. It filled the car until he wanted to take her twisting fingers in his and promise that it would be all right. However, he didn’t think she could believe him.

  He could see that this was a big deal for Mandy. Obviously she cared about the kid a lot. He was interested in meeting Eva and seeing how the afternoon went. No one had defined the term “special needs” so he didn’t know what more Eva might need as compared with a child who wasn’t categorized that way.

  While Rick would never admit it to Mandy, he wasn’t keen on labeling kids. He’d been badged as “gifted” before he was five. The word—both a blessing and a curse—had followed him right into high school, which he’d entered at eleven. He’d entered college at thirteen. It had taken him the full four years to graduate because he’d double majored in computer science and physics. He’d finished his first master’s and Ph.D. by the time he was twenty and was on to his second when he’d met Mandy. He knew all about being different.

  He pulled up in front of the one-story house by the corner. Mandy was out of the car before he’d done much more than put it in park. She hovered by the passenger door. As he watched, a child flew out of the front door of the house and raced down the walk. Rick had a brief impression of long blond hair, a wide, happy smile and open arms before the two flung themselves at each other.

  “How are you?” Mandy was asking as he climbed out of the car. “Are you having a good summer? I’ve missed you.”

  “I missed you. We’ve had fun. Daisy took us to the pool twice and we saw fireworks on the Fourth of July and—”

  Eva’s happy chatter came to a halt as Rick circled around the rear of the car. She gave him a quick glance then ducked behind Mandy.

  “Eva, don’t be scared. This is Rick.”

  Before she could say more, a cheerful but harried-looking woman in her thirties came out the front door. “Mandy,” she called with a smile. “Someone has been parked by the front window for the past hour, hasn’t she?”

  Eva ducked her head out from behind Mandy, grinned, then retreated.

  “Daisy!” Mandy gave the other woman a warm hug. “How are you doing?”

  Daisy shook her head. “Going crazy. I got a call this morning asking if I could provide emergency shelter for toddler t
wins. Just what I need. Of course I said yes.” She turned to Rick. “Hi. I’m Daisy Middleton.”

  “Rick Benson.”

  “He’s an old friend,” Mandy said quickly, as if concerned he was going to come up with another title.

  “Old friend works,” he said with a quick wink.

  Daisy looked intrigued but didn’t ask any questions. Instead she rested one hand on Eva’s blond head and the other on Mandy’s arm. “There was some other news in the phone call,” she said pointedly. “I’m not supposed to say anything, so act surprised when you get the news.”

  She paused significantly until Mandy chuckled. “Don’t keep me in suspense. What news?”

  “You were approved for foster care. They start you with one child, but that’s all you want, isn’t it?”

  Mandy didn’t say anything. Her eyes widened and she looked stunned. Rick glanced between the women, looking for an explanation.

  Just then three more young children spilled out of the house. Daisy saw them and groaned. “No. You were supposed to be napping.” She started toward them, then turned back. “Run for it while you can. Oh, we’re having a cookout with the neighbors, so can you have her back by four-thirty?”

  “No problem,” Mandy called after her.

  She ushered Eva into the car and settled her in the middle of the big back seat. Once everyone had on their seat belts, Rick started the car and headed back toward the freeway. Mandy fiddled with the radio.

  “There’s a kid’s station, if you don’t mind,” she said.

  “Not at all. I can even do you one better.” He pushed a button, sending the sound into the rear speakers. “Instant child-friendly sound.”

  “Thanks.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Are you okay, Eva?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Mandy smiled. “Are you going to still be shy around Rick when we get to the aquarium?”

  A pause, then, “Uh-huh.”

  Both he and Mandy laughed. “I’ll try bribing her with ice cream when we get there,” he said. “It always worked with me.”

  “I’ll have to remember that.”

  He shot her a quick look. “You okay?”

  “Nervous.”

  He lowered his voice. “What did Daisy mean back there when she said you’d been approved for foster care?”

  Mandy leaned toward him and spoke softly. In the back seat Eva was singing along with a song about happy frogs.

  “I’ve been approved to be a foster parent. That’s the first step in anything permanent. Eva would come stay with me as a foster child and we would see how things go.” She leaned back in her seat. “Now I have to get real about this. It’s no longer in the abstract.”

  “Scary?”

  She looked at him and nodded. “More than you know. I want to do the right thing for both of us. I worry about having the right resources.”

  “You wouldn’t have to worry about money. Your dad would see to that.”

  “I’m all grown up. Isn’t it time to stop expecting him to bail me out?”

  “This is different.”

  “Maybe. There are other considerations. It’s a huge, lifetime commitment. I want to do things right. I want to be sure. Actually, I want us both to be sure.”

  Rick glanced in his rearview mirror. Eva beamed as she sang. Every couple of seconds she looked at Mandy. Her whole face lit up with delight. Mandy might need to be sure, but it seemed that Eva had already made up her mind.

  “I can see the responsibility would be a little daunting,” he said.

  “That’s part of it.”

  He tried to imagine what he would do in her situation. Mandy’s affection for Eva came from knowing the child. He didn’t have much contact with kids. He frowned. Actually he didn’t have any.

  The thought came from nowhere that if he and Mandy had stayed together, they would have several children by now. Well, at least a couple.

  What would that have been like? He wanted to think that they would have been good parents, but he wasn’t sure. They’d both needed to grow up. Things would be different now. Not that they were talking about kids, or anything but getting closure on their divorce.

  He looked at Eva again. She caught his gaze in the mirror and gave him a shy smile. He smiled back. Next to him Mandy hummed along with the song. Her nerves had faded and she seemed happy, as well. All in all, it was turning out to be a good day.

  “Look!” Rick said, pointing overhead.

  Eva obligingly craned her neck, then gasped, took a step back and nearly toppled over. Rick caught her with a steadying hand on her waist.

  “It’s a whale,” he said. “A blue whale. They’re the biggest creatures on the planet.”

  Eva looked from the full-scale model to him and back. “Where?” she asked.

  “In the water.”

  She glanced at the aquarium tanks around them and looked doubtful.

  “Not here,” he said. “Out in the ocean. There’s a chart over there. I’ll show you.”

  He held out his hand and Eva took it with a trust that brought a lump to Mandy’s throat. Somehow on the short walk from the car to the entrance to the Aquarium of the Pacific, Rick had managed to charm the shy eight-year-old. Now he led her to the display that detailed where blue whales lived.

  Two hours later, Mandy found herself as charmed as Eva. They’d toured the first level of the display before moving upstairs to the second level. Over snacks in the Café Scuba, Rick kept them both laughing with stories about his various scuba-diving adventures.

  “You swim under the water?” Eva asked, obviously impressed by such an impossible feat.

  “With help,” he said. “Can you swim?”

  Eva sipped on her covered cup of milk and shrugged. “Daisy takes us to the pool, but I don’t swim. I have water wings,” she added. “Sometimes I kick my feet.”

  Mandy bit her tongue. She wanted to say something about lessons and Eva learning, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to get the girl’s hopes up.

  Around them other families ate and talked together. She caught the occasional stare aimed their way. One little boy of four or five had loudly asked what was wrong with Eva. Before Mandy could do anything, Rick had stepped between Eva and the family, pointing out a display of brightly colored fish.

  Down syndrome children were often the object of stares. Mandy understood why, but that didn’t make her like it. Still, far from being upset or uncomfortable, Rick had simply gone with the flow. She appreciated that. She turned her attention back to the conversation at hand.

  “Daddies have the babies?” Eva asked, sounding doubtful.

  Rick read from the brochure he’d picked up by one of the displays. “Apparently that’s common with all sea horses. Here at the aquarium there have been successful transfers of eggs—”

  He broke off and saw Eva’s blank expression. He laughed and touched the tip of her nose. “Sorry. Yes. Daddies have the babies.” He scanned the paper. “They carry the eggs on the underside of their tails.” He looked at Mandy and winked. “Sounds a bit fishy to me.”

  She chuckled. “I don’t know. I think most women like the idea of the male of the species being more involved with the birth process.” She turned to Eva. “Mommies like daddies to help.”

  Eva nodded. “Daisy tells Frank to get off his butt sometimes. He kisses her when he thinks we’re not looking.”

  “Good for him,” Rick said. “Ready for the sea lions and seals again?” he asked.

  “Yes, yes!”

  Eva jumped to her feet. Her milk went flying. Rick caught the container easily and dumped it into a trash can without saying a word.

  Mandy followed them. They’d already spent time watching the aquatic mammals in their exhibit, but Eva wanted to see them again. Rick didn’t seem to mind the repeat viewing. He even held Eva high in his arms to give her a bird’s-eye view.

  This was how it would be if she found someone, Mandy thought, feeling both happy and unsettled. This was what she wanted
for Eva and for herself. A family. But if that wasn’t possible…

  She didn’t have an answer for that. Not yet. She loved Eva, but the responsibility terrified her. What if she didn’t do it right? What if she messed up Eva forever? Having someone else around would give her support, a sounding board and another opinion of how things were going. Plus Eva deserved all the love she could get.

  As in many other aspects of life, there weren’t any easy answers.

  They finished their outing with a stop at the gift shop. Rick insisted on buying them each a stuffed animal. He also bought Eva a brightly colored book about the various creatures at the aquarium, then adopted a weedy sea dragon in her name.

  “Why are you being so nice?” she asked as they walked back to the car.

  “I’m not. I’m having a good time. Aren’t you?”

  She nodded.

  Eva stumbled over a crack in the pavement. Mandy reached for her, but Rick got there first. He caught the child up in his arms and carried her toward the car.

  “No skinned knees today,” he said lightly as they went. “I remember them and boy do they hurt bad.”

  “You could kiss it, make it better.”

  “Yes, I could. But maybe it would be nice if you didn’t get a skinned knee at all.”

  “Okay,” Eva said. She glanced over his shoulder and beamed at Mandy. “I had fun today.”

  “Me, too.”

  It had been a revelation. All week she’d been fighting against her physical attraction to Rick. The more time they spent together, the more she found to like about him. But something else had happened today. Something far more dangerous than simply sexual attraction.

  Today she’d seen a side of him that she didn’t know existed. He’d been patient, kind and completely accepting. What made the combination even more devastating was that she knew he’d done it without conscious thought. He’d simply been himself. In his mind, they’d taken Eva out for the day, so the best of all possible scenarios was that everyone have a good time. It had been as simple as that.

  Only it wasn’t simple for her. Not when her insides felt exposed and raw. He could seduce her body with just a look, but it took a lot more to seduce her heart. Somehow he’d made both happen today, which meant she was in more trouble than she’d first thought.