Picking Up The Pieces

by Brenda Adcock

  “Not much to see. It’s just an old camper. But it doesn’t leak when it rains. You want something to drink?”

  Athon turned on one of the lanterns as Lauren sat on the bench seat on one side of the camper’s table. Athon stared at her guest, her hands shoved into her jean pockets, wondering what to do or say next.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking Athon,” Lauren said quietly.

  Athon shifted her gaze to the floor.

  “Maybe you could give me a kissing lesson,” Lauren suggested.

  “You definitely don’t need kissing lessons,” Athon mumbled with a grin.

  Lauren stood and moved closer to Athon. “You’ve been avoiding me at school. Have I done something to make you mad?” She took Athon’s wrists and pulled her hands from her pockets. “Talk to me. Please.”

  Athon frowned and closed her eyes. “Do...do your parents know you’re here? Do they know I kissed you?”

  Lauren sat back down and traced a crack on the table with her finger. “I didn’t tell them where I was going,” she started. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “They know I like girls. It’s the reason we moved here.” She looked up at Athon. “And I wanted you to kiss me.”

  Athon slid into the bench seat across from Lauren and took her hand. Lauren laced her fingers with Athon’s. “When we lived in Pennsylvania, I met a girl and we spent a lot of time together. Her parents were members of my father’s congregation. She was in her first year of college and was two or three years older than I was.” Lauren cleared her throat before she continued. “We had fun going shopping together or to a movie. I spent the night at their house one weekend and we started horsing around. The next thing I knew she was kissing me and touching me.” Lauren’s eyes met Athon’s. “I liked it and one thing led to another.” Lauren laughed humorlessly. “I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Based on what she was instructing me to do, it wasn’t her first ride on the carousel.”

  “Did you like her?”

  “I liked kissing her and the way I felt when she touched me,” Lauren said with a shrug. “But next thing I knew she pushed me away, pulled her blouse back together, and slapped my face. Before I could ask her what I’d done wrong I heard her mother order me to pack my stuff and get out. Her parents took me home and claimed I’d made unwanted sexual advances toward their daughter and would have raped her if her mother hadn’t come in the room. I admitted I kissed her, but only because she kissed me first. The suggestion was that I’d forced her to kiss me. After all, as everyone knows, people of my ethnic persuasion are all sexual predators because we simply can’t live without having sex like alley cats. Her mother launched into a lecture about rampant sexual diseases and reproduction statistics because all ‘black people’ are promiscuous,” Lauren went on using her fingers to make quote marks. “The bright side of it was, as enlightened Christian white folks, they were willing to sweep the whole sordid incident under the rug—if my father resigned and we left town.”

  “What did your parents say?”

  Lauren released Athon’s hand and leaned back, spreading her arms. “Here we are. My father prays for me every day and my mother, well, she just doesn’t say much. They don’t have an ideal marriage. It’s always been stressful because he’s a lily-white Southern boy who was seduced by a wanton black woman and led astray. His parents disowned him and my brother and I have never met them. To learn his daughter is gay was just the icing on the cake. So, I guess my family is just as screwed up as yours. At least we have something in common,” Lauren said with a bitter laugh.

  Athon pulled Lauren up and held her close. She ran a finger lightly over Lauren’s lips and saw them part slightly. She lowered her head and touched the full, tempting lips with her tongue before her lips followed and she lost herself in the heat of Lauren’s mouth. She heard a low moan escape from Lauren’s throat as the kiss deepened. Lauren’s hands ran into Athon’s hair and held her tightly.

  Athon pulled away from the kiss and searched Lauren’s eyes. “I promise I won’t ever hurt you,” she rasped.

  “Could you hold me for a little while?” Lauren breathed.

  They climbed into the camper bunk and spooned against one another. Athon nuzzled into Lauren’s neck as they molded together and whispered how she felt until they both fell asleep.

  ATHON HAD NEVER looked forward to a Christmas before and she felt like the little kid she should have always been. For the first time in her life she had people she wanted to give presents to and looked forward to wrapping them. She had a reason to get up each day and knew when she went to school she would see Lauren. Everything would be all right. She felt connected to something more than herself when she held Lauren’s hand or wrapped her arm around her shoulders. She was content. She could see a future worth living.

  She smiled to herself as she wrapped Lauren’s Christmas present using sparkly red paper and a huge bow that dwarfed the small box. She had used over half her savings to buy the present. She hoped it was true that the best presents came in small packages. Lauren agreed to meet her at the diner after it closed. She hadn’t been able to spend much time with Lauren once school was out for the holidays. She had worked as many shifts at the diner as she could get and Tiny had paid her for working overtime. It seemed that everyone wanted a tune-up or oil change before the New Year. She was exhausted, but she hoped the look in Lauren’s eyes would make it all worthwhile.

  After Gus and Pedro left for the night, Athon rushed around the small diner setting up a special table for just her and Lauren. She hadn’t told anyone it was her eighteenth birthday and there wasn’t anyone she wanted to celebrate it with more than Lauren. She stood back and admired her handiwork, straightened the balloon and flower arrangement in the center of the table along with a small cake. In front of the arrangement she placed the box. She lit a candle and turned off the glaring overhead fluorescents. She pulled out a bottle of perfume she’d borrowed from Bridget and sprayed the air around the table. She looked at the clock and rubbed her hands together. She walked to the back door and scanned the alleyway. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so nervous. She looked down at her clothing and ran her fingers through her hair. She shivered as the cool outside air mixed with the nervous perspiration on her body and stepped back inside the restaurant. What if Lauren didn’t come? What if she had second thoughts about being with Athon? What if the things other students told her about Athon mattered more than she let on? Her excited nervousness and doubts began to shift her thoughts to anger as she paced back and forth between the table she had prepared to celebrate a special evening and the back door of the diner. Ten minutes late. Lauren was ten minutes late for the most important evening of Athon’s life.

  The knock on the back door was so light Athon almost didn’t hear it. She felt frozen in place for a moment before rubbing her sweaty palms down her upper thighs and rushing to the door. Lauren was dancing from one foot to the other. Her coat collar was pulled up high on her neck and all Athon could see were those incredible cinnamon eyes. She reached out and took Lauren’s arm, pulling her inside. She locked the back door and wrapped her arms around Lauren’s shivering body.

  “I thought you changed your mind about coming,” Athon confessed.

  “Sorry, honey,” Lauren said. “Halfway here I looked at my gas gauge and discovered I was sucking fumes. The cold wind blowing under the canopy at the station was freezing.”

  “You’re here now,” Athon said, taking Lauren’s coat. “That’s all that matters.” She swept her arm toward the front of the diner and escorted Lauren to the table she had prepared. Pulling a lighter from her pocket, she lit the candle on the table and watched as its glow was reflected in Lauren’s eyes.

  “It’s beautiful, Athon,” Lauren said. “The only thing missing is soft music.”

  Athon smiled and held up her index finger. “Gus showed me how to do this,” she said as she walked to the jukebox, reached behind it and flipped a switch. She chose a selection and waited f
or the song to begin. She stepped behind the counter and pointed a remote device at the jukebox. The sound lowered a little at a time until it was much softer.

  “Dance with me?” Lauren asked when Athon rejoined her.

  Athon cleared a small area of tables and took Lauren in her arms. They moved slowly around the makeshift dance floor. Athon placed kisses along Lauren’s cheeks, forehead, and ears, inhaling the fresh scent of her hair. Athon’s lips met Lauren’s and drank in her essence as they stood in place and swayed in one another’s arms. When the music stopped, the two teenagers held hands and walked to the table. Athon pulled a chair out and waited for Lauren to sit. Her eyes lit up as she glanced at the cake and then at Athon. Her lips curled into a smile when Athon joined her.

  “I bet you thought I didn’t know today was your birthday,” Lauren said. She withdrew a small package from the front pocket of her sweatshirt and placed it on the table.

  “No way,” Athon said, looking surprised yet pleased. No one had ever given her a birthday present. She blinked away the itchy sensation in her eyes.

  “I asked Mrs. Fortenberry.”

  Athon teased the side of Lauren’s face with a fingertip. “Why did you want to know?”

  “Because you’re the most special person in my life.” She looked at Athon and fluttered her eyelashes. “Do you know my birthday?” she asked coyly.

  “February eighteenth,” Athon answered confidently.

  “Can we have another party then?”

  “Anything you want, baby,” Athon said as she leaned toward Lauren to kiss her cheek.

  She was thrilled when Lauren turned and met her lips as she whispered, “Happy Birthday.”

  An hour later Athon closed the back door of the diner and locked it. She took Lauren’s hand and walked her to her car. Lauren opened the door of her car and turned to look at Athon, still fingering the shiny new necklace around her neck. “Someday I won’t have to go home,” Lauren said. “Unless it’s with you.”

  Athon drew her closer and kissed her lightly. Before she could step away, Lauren took her hand and met her for another blistering kiss. “Someday soon,” Athon said, resting her forehead against Lauren’s.

  Lauren got in her car and backed it out of the parking area. Athon watched it depart before walking slowly to her own vehicle. She glanced at the gold link bracelet that encircled her wrist and smiled.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Duvalle, Texas January 1988

  PUDGE SHUFFLED TOWARD his front door on New Year’s Day, wiping bread crumbs from the stubble on his face. A tall, distinguished-looking man wearing a three-piece-suit under a black and gray tweed coat stood on his porch when he opened the front door.

  The man turned. “Mr. Fitzgerald?”

  “Yeah, but I ain’t buyin’ nothin’,” Pudge rumbled.

  The man extended his hand. “My name is Kenneth Shelton. I’m Lauren’s father. Could I speak to you for a few minutes?” In his other hand he held a large manila envelope.

  Without accepting the hand, Pudge walked back toward his kitchen, leaving the front door open. Reverend Shelton followed him.

  “Coffee?” Pudge asked as he refilled his own mug.

  “No, thank you,” Shelton answered, clearing his throat.

  “Take a load off,” Pudge said. He picked up his breakfast dishes and set them in the sink. “What can I do for you?”

  Shelton unbuttoned his coat, but still looked uncomfortable. “Are you the guardian of Athon Dailey, Mr. Fitzgerald?”

  “No, but she lives here. She became her own guardian when she turned eighteen. Is she in trouble?”

  “That depends on your definition of trouble, I suppose. Her soul is in terrible jeopardy and as a result, so is my daughter’s.”

  Pudge choked as he swallowed a sip of coffee and set the mug down. He finally managed to say, “Athon’s a good kid, Mr. Shelton.”

  “She’s an affront to God, sir, and a sexual deviant.”

  Pudge stood up quickly. “I think you need to leave my home before I kick your ass out,” he said through clenched teeth. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  Shelton stood. “Please, Mr. Fitzgerald.” He placed the manila envelope on the table and ran a trembling hand over his face. He opened the metal clasp and withdrew several eight-by-ten photographs. His hand was still shaking slightly when he held them out to Pudge. “I’m a father,” he said, his voice cracking. “I received these last night. From my son.”

  Pudge pulled his glasses from the top pocket of his overalls and adjusted them. The photographs clearly showed Athon and Lauren in a steamy clinch somewhere. There were four pictures, each one a closer shot of the same scene. He thrust them back at Shelton. “So what? Have you talked to Lauren?”

  Shelton shook his head and slid the pictures back into the envelope. He lowered his body back into his chair and waited for Pudge to sit as well. “I...I will tell you that I’m not surprised by these pictures, Mr. Fitzgerald. We moved to Duvalle because of a similar situation,” Shelton said.

  “Looks like that didn’t work out so well for you,” Pudge noted.

  “My family and I are moving back east. In fact, Lauren, my wife, and son are leaving very soon. I will follow them after my New Year’s service. I plan to resign from the church and begin a new profession. I can’t lead my flock to redemption when my own child is condemning her soul.”

  “You think separatin’ them will solve everything?”

  Shelton exhaled a long breath. “I don’t know. I have no doubt Lauren will attempt to contact the Dailey girl. I’m asking you to not let that happen. No letters, no phone calls, no nothing. My daughter believes we are making the trip because my wife’s mother is ill. I have already made arrangements for a new school.”

  Pudge tapped his fingers on the table top. “None of this will change who they are. You know that, right?” he asked.

  “I need time to reason with Lauren. To seek help for her. You surely cannot condone this kind of immoral behavior.”

  Pudge chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know. At least I’ll never have to worry about Athon gettin’ herself knocked up.”

  “I want my daughter to be normal and happy, Mr. Fitzgerald,” Shelton insisted.

  Pudge shook his head. “No, I think you want her to be your definition of normal and don’t want to be embarrassed by what she does or who she does it with.” He rubbed his forehead and thought for a moment. “Tell you what I’ll do" he finally said. “I’ll intercept the mail. There’s no reason for Athon to ever answer my phone. If they find each other after that, there’s nothing I can do about it.” He looked at Shelton. “The only reason I am willing to do any of this is not because I think what they’re doin’ is wrong. I’m just not sure I want Athon mixed up with a family like yours. I know you’re a preacher and all, Mr. Shelton, but I don’t trust anyone who says one thing and does another.” Pudge pushed his body out of the chair and looked down at Shelton. “You have a blessed day now, ya hear?” ,

  ATHON HURRIED THROUGH the back door of Pudge’s house and went directly to the telephone in the living room. It was dark inside, but she could still see the numbers. She had been trying to call Lauren all evening during her breaks from work, but there had been no answer. Now fear that something was wrong nagged at her. She waited, standing in the semi-darkness as the phone rang and rang. Still no answer. It was nearly two in the morning. Where the hell was Lauren? Had something happened to her?

  “She won’t answer,” Pudge’s voice said, startling Athon.

  “What?”

  “She won’t answer. They’re gone,” Pudge said as he walked into the living room, tying the belt of his old robe.

  “Gone where? When will they be back?”

  Pudge plopped down on the couch and rubbed his face.

  “Her daddy was here this afternoon. He’s taking his family back east somewhere. You’d be better off to forget about her.”

  “They left because of me?”

  “In a
way, but it’s not your fault, Athon.”

  “No!” Athon shouted. “She would have told me!”

  “She doesn’t know she’s not coming back.” Pudge stood and walked closer. He put his arm around her shoulder.

  Athon shoved him away and ran out the back door.

  ATHON SAT SHIVERING under a large tree in front of the Shelton’s house. There were no lights on inside and she hadn’t seen any movement through the windows. It was unseasonably cold and all she saw were the white puffs that rose in the early morning air as she exhaled. The sky had finally lightened when a large moving van pulled into the driveway and backed toward the front door. Athon’s body was stiff from sitting in the cold as she forced herself from the ground. She waited until the front door of the home opened and a group of men and women entered the house. Athon made her way up the steps and stood in the entryway, stepping aside as men began carrying furniture out and loading them on the truck. Women were putting boxes together and beginning to fill them with smaller items.

  “You need something?” a man asked.

  “Yeah,” Athon said. “Looks like they’re moving, huh?”

  “Yep. Reckon the house will go on the market soon.”

  “Where’d they go?”

  The man shrugged. “Beats me.”

  “Where are you supposed to deliver the furniture?”

  “We’re just packing it up. It’ll go into storage until they find a place and let the moving company know.”

  “How long will that be?”

  “I’m not a mind reader, kid. You better split now, okay?”

  Athon stuck her hands in her coat pockets and turned away. How could Lauren leave without telling her where she was going? Leave as if they meant nothing to one another? Tears filled her eyes as she trudged away. Gradually, anger filled her and replaced the sorrow she felt. She didn’t need Lauren. She didn’t need anyone to promise they cared. No one had ever cared. She had been stupid to believe Lauren had, that anyone would. She could only depend on herself. Her anger would sustain her. She only had to hang on five more months.