Between

by Tefft, Cyndi

  “Have you always felt God’s presence?” I asked, fascinated.

  “Aye, God’s always been with me, even when I was a wee lad.” His eyes narrowed with a far-off remembering. “My father died when I was six years old. I remember crying in my bed at night, missing my Da. Mam had told me that he went to be with God, and I thought God must be pretty terrible to take a young lad’s Da.” He gave me a crooked smile and continued. “I lay there weeping and praying, ‘God, give him back. Give my Da back!’ and then He was there.”

  “God?”

  He nodded. “I was lying on my back, staring up at the roof and it started to glow—a beautiful soft, yellow glow. It spread from the roof down over the room like a waterfall. It washed over me and through me, into the floor and then it was gone. I never cried for my Da again after that, and God’s presence has been with me ever since.”

  “Wow.” Excitement fluttered in my stomach at the thought of meeting God. “So let’s go meet Him together.”

  His face fell and he breathed a deep sigh. He attempted a smile, but the sadness in his eyes broke my heart.

  “I’d like nothing better than to go to heaven with you and meet our Creator. But alas, I cannot do that. You’ll go on to meet Him, but I…” He broke off and turned away so I couldn’t see the emotion there. I touched his leg in unspoken support and his hand closed over mine.

  “Why can’t you come, too?” I asked. “I don’t understand.”

  He regarded me for a moment, like he wanted to say something, then shook his head in frustration. “It's a long story.” He stood up and started walking along the edge of the water and I followed, but his stride was so long, it was a struggle to keep up with him. I started to jog a little and was surprised at how easy it was. After picking up the pace, I sped past him, giggling at his startled expression.

  “Race you to the church,” I challenged, spying the stone structure with a cross above the door. Aiden grinned and broke into a sprint behind me. I hastened my pace to stay in front but made it to the church mere seconds after he did and fell into his arms, laughing.

  “That’s amazing!” I gushed. “I could never run like that on earth because I’ve always been too fat.”

  Aiden stiffened in surprise. His face creased in a frown as he looked me over. “You’re not fat. Your body is soft and feminine, with curves like a wild rose. In fact, I’d say you’re fair beautiful.”

  “Yeah, right.” I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. I had some admirable qualities, I supposed, but beauty was not one of them. My roommate Jen was tall, blonde and athletic, her tanned body seemingly carved from marble. Now she was beautiful.

  “No, it's true,” he insisted. “You’ve this wild, curly hair like the stems of a grape vine. And it dances when the wind touches it, with a mind of its own.” He playfully ruffled my hair and it obligingly set off in multiple directions. I tried to flatten it with my hands and fixed him with a glare. His gaze grew thoughtful as he continued. “Your skin is like the finest silk, so thin and smooth.”

  He ran a single finger down my cheek and under my chin. My pulse quickened and I swallowed hard in an effort to contain the shivers dancing down my spine.

  “And your green eyes are the color of the hills—the color of my home.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Aye, there’s something about you, Lindsey Waters.”

  His eyes focused on my lips with a flicker of hunger and my heart raced at the thought of his kiss. He leaned forward, his lips merely inches from mine. My breath caught in anticipation, but he sighed and abruptly moved away. “Come. I’ll show you the kirk,” he said, his voice more gruff than before.

  Stung, I hesitated as he held the door open for me. I brushed past him as I entered the church, unwilling to meet his eyes. Soot from the fireplace darkened the walls and filled the room with a rich, peaty scent. The afternoon light streamed through warm hues of stained glass, illuminating the Virgin Mary and her child. My chest squeezed in response to the image of the tightly wrapped infant.

  “I’ll never have a baby now,” I said, transfixed by the love in Mary’s face. I never really knew I wanted one until that moment, and now it was too late. A crushing weight pressed down on me with the realization of all the things I’d never get to do. A sob caught in my throat. I sensed Aiden’s movement behind me and was struck with a wild desire to know what his child would look like, bouncing on my father’s knee. My hand flew to my mouth in horror.

  “My parents… I mean, my dad is all alone now. My mom moved in with her boyfriend and now Dad… with me gone…” I struggled to explain, to help him understand what my death would mean to them. “Do you know what will happen to them? Will they be all right?” I asked, but he shook his head.

  “I cannot tell the future. I’m sorry.” He frowned, but the compassion in his eyes was sincere. I nodded and wiped my wet cheeks, trying to get a hold of myself.

  “I’m sorry I keep doing that. It’s just a lot to digest.” I plopped down on the front pew and he sat down beside me.

  “I understand,” he said. “And if you want to know the truth, I don’t think you’re daft at all. You’re a tender-hearted woman with a caring spirit. Not everyone I meet sheds a tear for those left behind.”

  “They don’t?” I asked, perplexed. “Well, to be fair, I was crying for myself, too. I didn’t even know I wanted kids. Did you?” I blurted out the question before I realized he might have had children once upon a time. The thought was unsettling, but he was quick to respond.

  “No, I did not have any bairns of my own, though I’ve taken a fair number of them to heaven.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t imagine how awful that must be for you.”

  “For me?” he said. “Why would you say that?”

  “Well, you know, to have to take a baby from its parents, to know how much they’ll grieve its death. That must be heart wrenching for you. I couldn’t do it.”

  He stared at me like his world had suddenly slipped on its axle and he was seeing me for the first time. A flicker of hope crossed his face before he clamped his jaw and shook his head as if to clear it. His voice was unsteady when he spoke.

  “I cannot count the number of years I’ve been here and never once has someone cared about what it’s like for me.” His blue eyes locked onto mine for a moment, then I dropped my gaze to the floor, a blush heating my cheeks. He took my hand and lifted it to his lips. Tingles shot up my neck at the soft press of his mouth against my skin.

  “You’re an uncommon woman, Lindsey.” He let out a heavy sigh. “But I should not get so attached to you.”

  I snapped my head up. “What do you mean? Why not?”

  “You cannot stay here. You must go on to heaven. We have some time yet, but I don’t know how much.” I bit my lip as fresh tears threatened to start. He put his arm around me, cradled me against his chest and stroked my hair. I was suddenly exhausted, overwhelmed by all that had happened.

  “Come, rest your head. You’ve had more than enough for one day.”

  “I’m afraid to fall asleep,” I protested weakly, my eyelids already starting to droop. “What if you’re not here when I wake up?”

  “We’ve a bit of time yet. I promise I’ll be here when you wake, lass.”

  Chapter 4

  The feather bed cradled me in its soft embrace and I nuzzled my face into the pillow, afloat in the sensation of waking. Yawning, I rolled over and my gaze settled on a full-length cheval mirror, its reflective surface sending rays of sunlight dancing across the room. A hand-woven rug covered most of the hardwood floor, and a golden railing disappeared behind a green chaise lounge. Leather bound books lined one wall from floor to ceiling, their spines perfectly straight like soldiers in formation. A nobleman on a majestic white horse looked down his nose at me from a tapestry on the wall. An empty pallet with a blanket and a flat pillow lay tucked under the window.

  As my mind dimly struggled to make sense of the unfamiliar surroundings, I suddenly rememb
ered Aiden and panic seized my throat.

  “Bon matin. Good morning, Lindsey.”

  Aiden came through the door, carrying a breakfast tray piled high with fruit, cheese and biscuits. Relief flooded through me.

  “Good morning to you, too. Where are we?”

  He set the tray down next to me. “Would you like some breakfast, ma chérie?” The smell of warm honey wafted through the air and my stomach growled in appreciation. I mumbled a thank you as I tore off the corner of a biscuit and popped it in my mouth. Aiden took an apple slice and sat next to me. “I was thinking you might like to go someplace new, and this is the most beautiful place I remember, aside from home.”

  Above the fireplace hung a large, ornately framed portrait of a beautiful woman and her two young sons. Curly wisps of blonde hair escaped from her bonnet, softly framing her face, and her eyes shone with a serene smile as she sat with one hand draped over her youngest child. The boys wore stern expressions and looked very serious in their fancy outfits. I couldn’t help but smile as I imagined the painter trying to capture the scene before the kids got bored and became completely unmanageable.

  “She’s lovely, no?” he asked in a wistful tone.

  Nodding, I helped myself to a cluster of grapes from the tray and picked them off the stem, one by one. “Who is she?” I asked.

  “My mother.”

  “So this little boy in the front, that’s you?” I walked over and reached out as if to touch the child, though the painting was out of my reach, high up on the wall.

  “’Tis me and my brother Duncan. I don’t remember it well, just that the clothes she made us wear were bloody uncomfortable.” He winked at me. “My uncle Alex Fraser had it painted as a gift to my Mam. This is his château in Versailles,” he explained.

  “Versailles? France?”

  “Aye. I spent three years here as a lad, studying under my uncle, learning how to be a proper gentleman and taking care of his horses.” My eyes welled up with tears and he looked at me quizzically.

  “I’m sorry… It’s just… I always…” I sputtered. He pulled a handkerchief out of the sporran around his waist and handed it to me as I stammered nonsensically. “I took French classes in high school and was still taking them in college when I…” I took a deep breath and gave him a brave smile. “I always meant to go to France someday, and I thought my ‘somedays’ were over. And now here we are, and it just… it just means a lot to me. Thank you.”

  He didn’t say anything, but nodded as if he understood. I remembered that I’d heard him speaking French earlier, though it hadn’t registered before. “You speak French? Parlez-vous français?” I asked. He bowed deeply in response, sweeping his arm out and down.

  “Oui, mademoiselle. Je parle français très bien. I think, milady, that you might like to see the grounds. Perhaps we’ll go for a ride on one of Uncle’s prized horses. But you cannot go outside in your shift.”

  A long nightgown of lightweight linen hung loosely on my shoulders, and by the feel of it, I had absolutely nothing on underneath. I racked my brain to try and remember changing out of my jeans and sweater—let alone my underwear—and wondered how I had gotten into this outfit. My eyes darted around the room, looking for my discarded clothes. Aiden saw my confusion and laughed.

  “Don’t fret, I haven’t undressed you. Not that I wouldn’t like to, mind.” He gave me a wicked grin. “But if I had, I wouldn’t have been sleeping on the floor, aye?” I felt my cheeks go hot at his comment. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I asked where my clothes had gone. He shrugged. “You can wear them again, if you like, but I thought you might like to dress like a lady for our outing.”

  At his words, a strange sensation passed through me and the edges of the room blurred for a moment, like I was viewing it underwater. When I blinked my eyes a few times, the room snapped into focus once again. My ribs were slightly compressed as if someone were hugging me. Aiden eyed me with appreciation and said with a smug smile, “Mmm, that’ll do.” My breath caught as I glanced down to find myself clad in an elaborate dressing gown from the 18th century.

  “Go on, take a look,” he said.

  The dress made swooshing sounds as I walked to the mirror, the billowing pink skirt silken under my hands. With my hair miraculously pinned up, soft ringlets bounced against the back of my neck. The dress scooped low in the front, its dark pink bodice pressing my breasts upward. A corset constricted my ribs in a tight embrace, accentuating the smallest part of my waist before flaring out at my hips. The long skirt, a few shades lighter than the bodice, ended in a white lace trim. Delicate pink roses dotted the puffy sleeves that gathered at my elbows. A shawl made of the same material as the gown rested on my shoulders. I pulled the skirt up slightly and stuck out a foot, admiring the laced white boots underneath. Aiden watched me with a wide grin and I gazed at him in wonder.

  “How did you do that? I look like a fairy princess!” I spun around with my arms out wide. “I love it, really I do! But how did you change my clothes and pin up my hair without even touching me?”

  He chuckled and twirled me around with one arm. “I’m glad you like it. You’re as bonnie a princess as I’ve ever seen.” He gave me an admiring smile and I giggled, then bowed to him ceremoniously. “And now I’d best be changing as well, I suppose,” he said.

  Again the edges of the room became blurry, and I felt that same shimmery sensation, but the room came back into focus quickly. He stood before me in a dress kilt and a cream-colored linen shirt with long, flowing sleeves. A cloak of matching plaid rested atop his broad shoulder, secured with an ornate gold brooch. Knee-high socks with a criss-cross pattern covered his calves and his black leather shoes laced above the ankle.

  “Wow, you look amazing,” I said, awed.

  “I was just thinking the same about you,” he replied and lifted my hands to his lips.

  “But you still haven’t told me how you’re doing all this,” I protested, trying to ignore the zipline of tingles from his touch. He tucked my hand into the crook of his arm and led me outside, explaining as we walked.

  “So I haven’t. Well, I call it ‘casting’. If you can see it in your mind, you can make it real here. You just have to think of it and cast it out from your head and then it appears around you.” He shrugged, like this was commonplace and a pretty simple concept. “If you want to change location though, it's best if you’ve been there before because it's easier to remember details than to imagine them.”

  “So anything I can think of, I can just project it out and it comes true?” I asked.

  He paused for a minute and shook his head. “Well, not just anything, really. You cannot cast people. Animals, yes, but not people.”

  “But what about the car accident? There were definitely people there.”

  Out in the courtyard, rows of manicured hedges framed a meticulously edged lawn with a large fountain in the center. “There were, but that’s different. You can cast a memory, somewhere you’ve been and the events will play out again before you. But you can’t change anything, and you can’t interact with the people. Or you can cast a place you know without any people, and then you can control everything in it.”

  I thought about it for a moment as we walked along. “Hmm… so if it’s a memory of something that’s happened to me, then the people can’t see or hear me, but if it’s someplace I’ve been before and I don’t include any people, I can imagine it and the atmosphere changes to what I am picturing. Is that right?”

  “You’re a quick study,” he replied.

  The humid air of the stables enveloped us with its warm, earthy smell when we entered through the gate. A dry bed of straw crunched under our feet and rows of horses whinnied in welcome as we approached. Aiden spoke to them in a foreign language, scratching each one affectionately.

  “Uncle Fraser raised them especially for the royal court, mostly Andalusian and Lusitanian. The cream-colored beauties with the blue eyes were a favorite of King Louis’.” When I ginger
ly reached out to one, it sniffed at me and turned its head. “He likes you,” Aiden said. “Scratch him behind the ears and pet his face. Just go slow and you’ll be fine.”

  I’d never seen a horse with blue eyes before, and I could see why the king would be enamored with them. His pale coat twitched as I ran my hand down the top of his muzzle. He sidled a bit, shaking his head as he snorted. I squealed, pulling my hand away, my heart suddenly in my throat. Aiden chuckled and came over to pet the horse himself, much more firmly and confidently than I had.

  “You’ve naught to fear with him, lassie. He will not hurt you. Would you like to take him for a ride?” he asked. My eyes opened wide as I imagined myself falling off the backside of the horse, a crumpled mass of pink silk. “You’ve no need to be afraid, mo chridhe. I’ll ride with you and I won’t let you fall.”

  He slipped his arms around my waist in demonstration and pulled me close, his fingertips trailing along the edge of my corset. A soft breeze played with the tips of his blond hair and our eyes locked for several heartbeats. He began to lean his face toward mine when the horse to my right suddenly blew a loud breath through its lips and broke the spell.

  I stepped out of his warm embrace and mustered a little bravery. “Sure, why not? I’ll give it a try,” I said. “It’ll be fun. I’ve never ridden one before.”

  “Truly? You’ve never ridden a horse? Now that’s a crying shame.” He opened the gate to the stall and made a clicking sound with his mouth. He pulled a saddle down from the wall and with a few quick movements, attached the saddle to the horse and led it out into the gardens. He held out a hand to me and frowned down at my frilly dress. “The safest way to ride is in front of me, but in that dress, you’d need to ride sidesaddle behind.”

  My earlier vision popped back into my head. “No way am I riding sidesaddle behind you. The very idea scares the crap out of me.” He raised one eyebrow but kept silent. “Maybe I could try casting and change my outfit to something more suitable for riding,” I suggested.