A Beautiful Taste

by Lilliana Anderson

  “A jealous huff? You were jealous?”

  “I thought you were married or something. I thought it was too late.”

  My voice goes quiet. “Too late for what?”

  He takes a moment to answer as he looks into my eyes. “For us.”

  My breath catches for a moment, and my heart swells in my chest before I close my eyes and admit I’d been feeling the same way too. “I was worried about that too. There were so many times I wanted to call you and tell you, but it just seemed so hard. Then when I was forced to see you at the reunion, I was having a panic attack thinking you’d hate me, or worse–that you were in love with someone else. I didn’t know if I could take it, knowing that your heart belonged to another.”

  He reaches up and gently runs his fingers down the side of my face. “There’s this quote from Johnny Depp that I’ve seen many times over the years because it circulates Facebook a lot. And it says, if you’re in love with two people, you should always pick the second one because you were never in love with the first one to begin with. And every time I see that quote, I think of you. Because there’s been no second love for me. There’s only been one. You.”

  His other hand moves up, and with both of his hands he cups my face and looks into my brown eyes with his deep pools of blue. My heart beats so fast I can barely breathe, and this burst of desire rolls through my insides.

  He whispers to me. “I want to kiss you, Cody. But I want your permission, because I want you to know I’ll never do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

  I nod, a tear of both joy and sorrow sliding out of my eye. Joy because this is exactly what I’ve wanted and sorrow because that carefree way we had that first night is gone and may never be found again. I’m scared of what comes next.

  “I want you to kiss me,” I whisper in return. And he does. It starts as a soft brush of his lips against mine, a gentle suck of my bottom lip that causes me to gasp and part my lips, returning the kiss as I wrap my arms around him and luxuriate in the feeling of his tongue against mine.

  The only perfect experience I’ve had, has been with this man, and I’d been so worried that what happened would have marred that moment we had forever. But that gang could never replace the emotion, and the power of the connection that Brad and I share. My most vivid memories are of being in his arms. They've kept me warm on lonely nights, and are my most treasured moments. This is where I belong.

  ***

  Brad

  Her tongue is smooth against mine, her mouth demanding. She smells like a bouquet of wild flowers mixed with an evening full of carrying plates of food. She smells like my world. She smells like she’s mine.

  She moves her hands over my chest, pulling at my shirt, pressing her body closer to mine. My mind swirls with emotions that have lain dormant within me for some time now, and I feel as though I’m nothing in this moment but restrained desire. I’m trying to hard not to devour her in an attempt to reclaim her.

  I close my eyes, forcing my mouth away from hers before pressing a kiss to her forehead, my breathing unsteady as I wrap my arms around her and feel her trembling against me.

  She lets out a gasp and holds onto me tight. And we stay like that for quite some time, just breathing. Just being. Then we slowly release each other, and I take her by the hand.

  “How about we take that walk now?”

  She nods. “I’d like that.”

  We go outside and follow the path by the river, walking hand in hand as we talk, and talk, then talk some more. We have what feels like a lifetime to catch up on, and she loves hearing about all of my travels. We talk like new lovers. We talk like old lovers. We’re getting to know each other, even though there’s so much we already know. We’re learning to be together again, and we’re celebrating the fact that this is finally happening. Ten years down the track, we’re finally beginning.

  Chapter 22

  Dakota

  “He’s asleep,” mum whispers, after Brad has dropped me off at home. The house is dark, and the only light is the nightlight in Riley’s room.

  “Why are you sitting in the dark?” I ask, also in a whisper as I place my bag on the couch and walk toward her. She’s sitting at the kitchen table.

  My eyes adjust to the darkened room, and I can see that she has a coffee mug in front of her. “I’m just waiting up to make sure you got home safely.”

  “It’s two in the morning.”

  She shrugs. “I worry.”

  Pulling out the chair next to her, I sit down and take her hand in mine. “You don’t need to worry. I was with Brad.”

  She nods and releases a shaky breath. “I know. I know. I’m just…I guess I’m not used to you staying out like this.”

  “I know.”

  She clears her throat and pulls her hand from mine, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug before she tilts it up and looks inside it. “So you like this Brad?”

  “I do. Very much.”

  “Isn’t he the boy your dad warned away from you when you were thirteen?”

  “He is. I loved him then, and I’ve loved him ever since.”

  “Oh honey,” she says, reaching out to gently touch my hair. “What do you know about love? You were a virgin when it all happened.”

  “No mum, I wasn’t.”

  “But when they examined you…”

  “I was with Brad right before. It was just the once, I instigated it. He never once tried anything on me, and he was a complete gentleman.”

  “Then is it possible that Riley?” she asks hopefully.

  I shake my head. “No. We were safe.”

  “I see.”

  Pressing my lips together, I close my eyes, the disappointment in her voice hurts. I understand her hope. I had it too for a time.

  “I told him,” I say, opening my eyes again. “I told him what happened and about Riley.”

  “Why?”

  “I didn’t want him to think I’d been with someone else. I didn’t want him to think I left him for someone else. He needed to understand.”

  “And does he?”

  “I believe he does.”

  She shakes her head and raises a hand to wipe at her eye. “This all scares me, Dakota. The idea of you dating someone–it scares me.”

  “It scares me too mum. But I feel like my life has been on pause for so long. This is how my life was supposed to be. I’m supposed to be with Brad.”

  She takes a hold of my hand. “Just be careful, please.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  ***

  Brad

  “Well, well, well. Someone has a big smile on their face this morning,” Ruby comments, as I move about the kitchen and prepare coffee and toast.

  I smile at her in greeting. “Do you want some? I can add a couple of extra slices of bread.”

  She nods and moves to take over making coffees. “Ah, you don’t kiss and tell. I can understand that. But you can at least say how it all went. I heard you get in at two last night, and since the evening was due to finish around ten, I’m assuming you stayed back to spend time with Dakota.”

  Dropping two extra slices in the toaster for her, I continue to smile. “Yes, I did spend some time with her. We talked.”

  “You talked?”

  “Yes. We talked. A lot.”

  She grins and lifts herself up so she’s sitting on my stainless steel benchtop. “That’s kinda romantic.”

  I move over to where she is and pull two plates out of the cupboard. “It was a good night.”

  She grins, and I can tell she’s dying to ask me more, but she just hops off the bench and pours the heated milk into two coffee cups.

  “You’re bruising is almost gone,” I comment, indicating her face where the only real evidence of her attack is some yellowing bruises, and the healing cut on her lip.

  She reaches up to touch her face. “I was thinking that it might be alright if I went back to my own place.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?”<
br />
  “Yeah. I do. I’m actually getting a roommate, so it will be great.”

  “A roommate?”

  “Yeah. I advertised for one.” She shrugs. “I figured I couldn’t stay here forever, and I am paying rent on my place, so…”

  I eye her dubiously. “What do you mean you advertised for one? Did you check them out at least?”

  “Yes. Of course I did. I interviewed them and Facebook stalked them and Googled the crap out them.”

  “Did you police check them?”

  She laughs at me. “Of course I did. It’s the first thing I did.”

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I smile in return. “OK, I’ll help you move back in later if you like.”

  “Want to check them out yourself, huh?”

  “Maybe,” I laugh.

  “You have such the overprotective big brother thing going on.”

  “Do you blame me?”

  “No. I guess not.”

  Chapter 23

  Dakota

  “French toast! Yes!” Riley yells, as he runs into our small seventies style kitchen on Sunday morning. Mum and dad are at work, and it’s just him and me today.

  “And strawberries and syrup,” I say, as I slide the cooked bread out of the pan onto his plate. It’s his favourite breakfast, reserved only for these special times when it’s just the two of us.

  “Can we go to the park today?” he asks, as he climbs onto his chair, picking up his knife and fork eagerly.

  “The sun’s out. So I think that can be arranged,” I say, as I place a slice for me in the pan. It sizzles as the egg hits the heat, and the scent of butter rises to my nostrils.

  My mobile phone rings.

  “I’ll get it!” Riley calls, jumping down from his chair and running over to where my phone is on charge.

  “Thanks buddy,” I say as he places it in my hand. It’s Brad. I swipe my finger over the screen and smile as I answer. “Hey you.”

  “Hey yourself,” Brad’s voice rumbles down the line. “I was wondering if you’re free today. I’d like to take you out for lunch.”

  “I’m not working. But I do have my little sidekick to take care of. Rain check?”

  “How about he tags along? We could have a picnic by the river or something.”

  “Really? You want to meet him already?”

  “Of course I do. He’s a part of you, so I’ll bet he’s an amazing kid.”

  I glance over at Riley, as he shoves a giant piece of French toast into his mouth, and his cheek bulges as he chews.

  “Yeah. He’s pretty great,” I say with a laugh.

  “So yes?” he asks hopefully.

  “Just so happens he was talking about going to the park only a moment ago. So yes. I think he’d like that very much.”

  “Great. I’ll pick you up at twelve, sweetheart.”

  “See you then.”

  Hanging up, I smile to myself, my heart feeling light after talking to him and having him call me sweetheart just like he used to before. And I don’t realise how long I’m there holding my phone against my chest like a lovesick teen until Riley calls out to me.

  “Mummy! Your French toast is smoking!”

  ***

  Brad

  “Did you know I have a matchbox car just like your car?” Riley says, as he slides into the backseat of my black BMW M6. It’s the first thing the little blond boy with wide brown eyes and freckles across his nose says to me.

  “I did not know that. You’ll have to show me some time,” I reply, as Dakota slides in next to me. I smile at her, noticing the faint line of freckles across her nose that matches her son’s. They also have the same big brown, innocent looking eyes. I’m loving that she’s wearing another sundress with her brown hair in a long braid over her shoulder. I want to lean across and kiss her, but I settle for squeezing her hand. She mouths ‘hello’ and smiles at me as her son continues to chatter.

  “I wanted to go inside and get it. But mum says I’m not allowed to take toys to the park because I’ll lose it. Did you know that I lost my first tooth at a park? We couldn’t find it, so the tooth fairy had to go all the way to the park to find my tooth, and then fly all the way back to my room, and leave a dollar under my pillow. Do you realise how hard that would be with her tiny wings? I’ll bet she was tired. Which is probably why I only got a dollar for my first tooth, instead of five dollars like my friend, Paul, got. I’ll bet she was mad because I made her tired. But I didn’t mean it.” He pauses to wipe his nose with the back of his hand at this point. “So the next tooth I lost, I wrote a letter to her to say sorry. But she still only gave me a dollar. I don’t think she likes me.”

  I’m trying not to laugh, as this boy I’ve just met spills out this wildly entertaining story. “I’m sure she likes you fine, Riley. A dollar is plenty of money for a tooth. I only ever got twenty cents.”

  His eyes go wide. “Boy, she really must have hated you.”

  Pulling away from the curb, I chuckle with laughter and drive us the short distance to a picnic spot by the river that has a park for Riley to play.

  When we open up the boot of the car, I pull out the picnic basket, the blanket, and two other bags.

  “What’s in there?” Riley asks, pointing at the bags.

  “Food.”

  “You must eat a lot!” he replies.

  I look at a smiling Dakota and shrug. “I may have gone a little overboard.”

  “I think it’ll be just fine. Come on Ry, let’s help Brad carry some of this stuff. I can’t wait to see what he’s brought for us to eat.”

  “I hope it’s not broccoli. I hate broccoli.”

  “No broccoli,” I confirm.

  “Phew!”

  We walk along the grass until we find a nice shady spot, where we can see the water and the playground easily. Then we set up the blanket.

  “You know something? My mum wouldn’t let me eat any snacks after breakfast because she said I wouldn’t be hungry for lunch. So now I’m hangry.”

  “You’re hangry?”

  “Yeah, hangry. It’s when you’re super hungry, and it makes you feel a bit angry.”

  “Are you feeling angry?”

  “No.”

  “Oh.”

  I frown slightly and glance over at Dakota who has a very amused smile on her face. “He’s a character, this boy of yours,” I comment.

  “He’s the smile on my face,” she says, looking at him lovingly.

  As we work together to pull out the containers of food I’ve packed, I watch how Dakota interacts with her son. She shows him what’s inside different containers and explains what things are if he doesn’t know what it is. I can see that he’s her world, and knowing how he came to be, I’m so filled with admiration for her choice, and her ability to love with all her heart. She’s an amazingly special woman, and watching her makes me glad I never got over her. I mean, how could I? She’s the light in the sky during the daytime, and the reason the moon and stars shine at night.

  “Have you decided what you’d like to eat?” I ask Riley. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I packed the things my aunt used to make for me when I was a kid.”

  “Why didn’t your mum make it for you?” he asks, obviously not one to miss a beat.

  “My aunt was kind of like my mum. She raised me and treated me like her son.”

  He squints as he looks at me. “Where was your mum?”

  “I don’t have a mum,” I explain, using the easiest explanation I can think of.

  “I don’t have a dad,” he states.

  I nod. “Me either.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. But my aunt was all the family I needed, so it didn’t really matter. And, she was a great cook, and she taught me everything she knew. I used to like her sausage rolls. Would you like to try one?”

  “Sure!”

  I offer one to him, and he bites a tiny bit off the corner and scrunches up his face as he slowly chews it. Then, deciding he likes it, h
e devours it in two big bites.

  “What else did your aunt make for you?” he asks, looking about the containers eagerly. For the next hour, we sit together talking and eating, simply enjoying each other’s company until we can’t eat anymore although, there’s still enough food left over to feed us individually for a week.

  “It’s possible you did go a little overboard,” Dakota laughs, as we seal the containers and place them back in the bags.

  “I may have been a little nervous.”

  “Nervous?”

  “Cooking calms me.”

  “You must be easy to work with in the kitchen then.”

  “So I’m told,” I say, lying down beside her on the rug and watching as Riley runs around with another little boy about his own age.

  “He likes you,” she says, turning her attention to me.

  I reach over and take her hand.

  “He’s a good kid. Looks like you’re a fantastic mum.”

  “I try.” We sit quietly together for a moment, simply holding hands and enjoying each other’s company. “Thanks for mentioning you don’t know your dad,” she says, after a while. I shrug like it’s no big deal. “He’s asked a few times about his.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever tell him?”

  She shakes her head. “What good would it do? At the moment, I just say he doesn’t have one. I don’t know how long that will work out though.”

  I lift her hand and press my lips to her knuckles. “I guess that’s just something you’re going to have make a decision on as he gets older.”

  She nods, watching her son as he and his new friend see who can spin the fastest on the spinning discs. Then she turns to me and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thank you,” she says softly.

  “For what? Making so much food that your son could very well throw up if he keeps spinning like that?”