I knew I had to reach out to him. If I’d seen the texts during the night, I would have responded.
From Valerie Darsin
To Flynn Docherty
Only you
Hey, honey, I just saw your email and texts. I’m sorry my phone was in my bag, and my mind was preoccupied so I didn’t know you’d reached out to me. I’d have responded if I had.
Thank you for your beautiful song, your words, and your persistence. It makes me feel loved. I read your email and was touched by what you said. I’m awe-struck at how easily words flow on paper (or email) for you, and you can express what’s in your heart.
Fact: I love you, Flynn. So hard. Never doubt that. You are the only one for me too. You are my world just as much as I am yours. I just need time to figure out what this all means for us, and what to do about everything we’ve learned during the past twenty-four hours.
I’m not leaving you. I only ask for a few days where I can get my head together, that’s all. I missed your warm body next to mine. When I finally lay down in bed I was comforted because when I cradled your pillow in my arms your smell was all around me. We’ll work it out…whatever it is, but like you, I have more questions than answers too.
I’ve decided to speak with Kayden after he gets home from work today. I’ve thought hard about that, and dragging up the past will be painful for him, but I owe him the truth as well. He’s always been the voice of reason in my family, and I know his gut reaction will help me to know what I must do next.
I’ll see you in a couple of hours at the shoot. Don’t be late. V
Closing the laptop, I knew I’d eventually have to come to terms with whatever the deal was and adjust, in much the same way as I had when my brothers died. That was one positive about this particular situation, as Flynn would call it—we were both still alive.
I pushed back the comforter and prepared for my day. Peeling off my nightgown I turned on the shower and stepped into the steaming glass-enclosed stall. Warm water pelted powerfully on my shoulders. Tilting my head, I ran my hands through my wet hair and reached for the shampoo. After Flynn’s email and understanding his thoughts, I felt more positive about us riding the latest storm we were facing.
Soapsuds cascaded down my belly, and I noticed the significant changes my body had made. It was like my bump was suddenly making an appearance. I smoothed the silky bubbles over my abdomen, and I promised myself there and then that I wouldn’t allow Flynn’s past to affect the baby growing inside me. All the negative things about Melanie and her child would have to wash over me, or I’d turn myself into a basket case. I had to know the truth. It was the only way to put the issue to bed once and for all. Once I knew the facts, I’d deal with them, just like I had with everything else I’d found difficulty with in the past.
*****
By 7:45 am, I was dressed in smart casual clothing. Black pants and a raspberry red, baggy cashmere sweater, I’d left my hair curly and just scooped it up in a messy bun. Filming and doing a photo shoot meant wearing clothing that wasn’t restrictive. I called a cab for 8:00 am and went down to the kitchen. Niamh was busy cooking breakfast.
“Flynn’s not here, Niamh,” I said.
“I know he called me this morning. I’m to make sure you eat properly before you leave the house.” That was just like Flynn, he had a thing for making sure I ate, drank and slept when I was distressed.
“H-how was he?” I asked, as my concerned eyes searched her face for clues.
“Tired, defeated, brokenhearted. He’s in bits, Val. Whatever has gone on between you two has wrecked him. I don’t know what’s happened, but whatever it was, he’s beating himself up pretty badly about it.”
“I know. It’s just…” I couldn’t explain. It was his story to tell.
Sliding onto the stool by the breakfast bar I traced my finger around the warm coffee cup she placed in front of me. When I eventually glanced up and our eyes met, her worried look pierced my soul, “We’ll work it out. We love each other,” I’d stated and hoped I was right.
Niamh came to my side of the counter and wrapped her arms around my neck in a hug. It felt good, but I choked back tears, “I need to get going,” I said sliding down off the stool. She stepped back to look at me holding me at arms-length.
“I’m here. I’m not going to intrude on…whatever this is, but I’m here, Valerie. If you need me, call me.”
I nodded and picked up a scrambled egg muffin and wrapped it in a napkin, “I’ll eat it on the way, promise. I don’t want to be late,” I’d said and turned to grab my stuff. Without looking back, I headed out the door and was surprised to see Lee waiting in the driveway.
“Flynn said it may be easier if you arrive together.” I smiled warmly as my gaze drifted over to the blacked out window, happy that he’d come for me. It was as if he knew exactly what I’d needed, then again, he’d always known the right thing to do.
Chapter 20 ~ Flynn
Beautifully vulnerable
Three of the longest minutes of my life passed after we’d arrived outside the house. I’d sat contemplating whether or not to go inside. Valerie hadn’t responded to any of my texts during that night, and I had no idea what to expect.
I pulled out my cell and went to my emails to check whether Clayton had the final word on whether or not I’d be required in court for Bernie’s hearing the following week. As I sat in the drive that day waiting for her, I wondered if she’d actually ride with me to the shoot.
Valerie Darsin—her name leaped off the cell phone screen at me. I could only see the title and the first few words as I rushed to click on the email to see what she’d said. My heart thumped in my chest, and my hand shook as a sudden burst of adrenaline coursed through my body.
My eyes quickly scanned over the message—she liked the song—she loved me hard, that statement had made me smile—she needed time—she wanted to tell Kayden—she thinks we can work it out. The relief I felt when I saw those words was immeasurable. I went back to the beginning of the email and read it slower. Hope had made my world tilt back to an even keel.
“I’m gonna wait outside, boss,” Lee had said, as he slid out of the driver’s seat, and closed the door quietly. I sat alone and listened to Charlie Puth singing “One Call Away” and remembered the time I’d left my number for Valerie, and she hadn’t called.
I reached over and turned the radio off and slid back in the leather seat. The silence was worse. I stared at the door wondering how she’d react when she saw me waiting outside. I didn’t have to wait long to find out because as the thought ran through my mind, I saw one of the heavy doors crack open, and Valerie stepped out into the winter sunshine. She looks stunning. God, please make this situation with Melanie, okay? I prayed.
Picking up the pace, my heart beat erratically in my chest as she glanced in my direction. I knew she couldn’t see me, but her slow smile told me I’d interpreted the email she sent in the right way. We were going to work things out. She walked slowly behind Lee, and when he opened the door, the smell of her femininity filled the back of the SUV—a sultry mixture of Agent Provocateur perfume, her Jasmine and pear shampoo, and her familiar scent that was addictive. I inhaled deeply as she slid into the seat beside me. My arm was already along the backseat, and my body instantly felt drawn to her.
Turning her head she glanced up at me through her lashes and I’d wanted to crush her against me and kiss her with all the love I had in me. She looked beautiful as always, but beautifully vulnerable, and my heart squeezed hard for her because I’d been the cause of that look.
“Hey, babe. I missed you so much,” I’d said, raising my hand to cradle her cheek in my palm.
“I missed you too,” she said, and leaned briefly against my palm. It had been more than I’d hoped for. Her voice was barely a whisper as she held an egg muffin in a napkin in her hand. I smirked because Niamh had obviously made her take it with her on my orders.
Her eyes dropped to focus on my mouth, and mine watc
hed her as she wet her lips. I hadn’t needed any other clue Valerie wanted me to kiss her. And I did. I took the food from her hand and set it on the empty seat beside her, pulled her close, then gave her a slow knowing smile.
Tenderly, I pressed my mouth to hers, and her lips slowly parted. It was her tongue that sought mine, but as soon as it did the small fire that had ignited in my heart roared to a full flame, and my hand slid around to the back of her head. I pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. A soft, breathy moan passed her lips and my arm that stretched the length of the seat dropped to her shoulder.
I pulled her tighter against me, and lifted her across my lap so that her legs straddled mine. I felt her body heat as her arousal grew, and her hands tangled in my hair. My hand gripped her messy bun, and I pulled her head back from my lips to look at her face.
“Don’t ever push me away again, babe. It tore me apart not being able to come home last night. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. Your silence crushed me.”
Valerie stared me down, and I could see her internal struggle, wanting to be happy, but the cloud we’d encountered was still hanging over us both at that time. Without answers, we were in no-man’s-land.
“I need to know, Flynn,” she said quietly as she looked sadly at me, her hands sifting through my hair. My guts twisted that something I’d done had hurt her.
“If the kid is mine? If it is, is that a deal-breaker?”
Valerie’s hands stilled, her shocked expression told me I was way off the mark. Her brow furrowed, “A deal-breaker? What do you think I am? Sure, I’d rather we had our baby, and that our relationship was free of the mess and drama of previous relationships. What girl wouldn’t? However, if that little girl is yours, I’ll love her as much as I love you. It’s not her fault this has happened. What I meant was, I need to know if it’s Martin’s baby.”
“How would that make you feel? Would it make you happy? Angry? Sad? I don’t know what you mean, Valerie?”
“I hate the fact that you and Martin did…that with someone…her. Both…” Valerie’s hands lifted in a helpless gesture with her palms upward as she choked up with emotion, and almost cried. My arms swept around her back as I pulled her into my chest and held her tightly.
“Shit, babe. We were so young, and stupid… if I could have a do-over…”
“Are you going to say that to someone else about me down the line, Flynn? What does this say about me? I’m the same age she was. Does that mean I’m young and stupid now?”
“No. Don’t do that. What we are is entirely different. We may be young and our relationship may be new to us, but look at the commitment we’ve made to each other in the short time we’ve been together. I fucking love you. You are it for me, Valerie. We may be young and both of us have made a few foolish mistakes, but we’ve been through a lot together. That gives us history. You can be with someone your whole life and never get what we have. God. I’m so sorry, babe. Please, I beg you, we were young and careless in college, that night was an exceptional situation.”
She leaned back and looked at me straight on. “An exceptional situation that left us with another condition to add to the layers of shit we’ve had to endure in the short time we’ve been together. How many more of these situations do I have to deal with? Are there more kids out there? Are there any other coffee shops we need to visit?”
Liquid rage flooded through my veins. Watching her torture herself about my mistake was killing me. Her eyes frantically searched my face before she began to climb off my lap.
“No. Fucking, no,” I said, and moved swiftly gripping her hips as I held her tightly in place. “You don’t get to pull away and go cold again, Valerie Darsin. I love you with everything I am, and I’m fighting for us here. I read that email you sent me. I’m not letting you distance yourself from me. I did that once, and it took over two years for you to call me back. I accepted that then because you were too young. That’s not happening again. Not this time, we have a child to consider. We have a great life that’s still ours— if we want it. Unless you’ve changed your mind since this morning, when you wrote the email. Have you?”
Scrutinizing my face, Valerie swallowed audibly and shook her head. For a moment I thought she was saying she didn’t want to be with me anymore, but her eyes filled with tears, and her head dropped down until her wet face was pressed firmly into my neck. A soft sob tore from her body, and she rested her face there for a few quiet moments. Lifting her head, her normally bright emerald eyes were clouded with tears as she bit her bottom lip and turned to look out the window.
“I’m not rolling over on this, Flynn. What you did to me yesterday was humiliating. If you love me like you say you do, why did you leave me standing on the driveway? What did you think? You must have known you would hurt me when you drove off like that.”
My heart ached watching her. “Everything you say is totally true, babe. I did a terrible thing when I asked Lee to drive off, but I was being a coward, I couldn’t think clearly. I was in shock, and I just reacted, badly. I’m flawed, Valerie, but mostly... I was scared if we’d gone inside and had a conversation about what had happened in the coffee shop, you’d want answers, and I had none to give you. I thought I’d lose you. You have to admit, babe, once I had the facts as I knew them, when I told you, the way you responded kind of bore out my fears.”
“I’m sorry, Flynn. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My hormones are all over the place. They’re not helping my reactions to things, and the hurt inside fueled my anger, but this thing isn’t easy to swallow.”
I chuckled a little with relief, and placed her head back onto my chest, I was asking the world of Valerie. We’d steamed ahead without thinking, and suddenly she was in a place where she was in a new relationship, had her first sexual experience and was having my child. We were both young and reckless it seemed, but I knew with every fiber in my body that there would never be anyone else for me.
“I know this is a huge deal, babe, but we’ll get through this. Just love me and I’ll love you right back with everything I have. It’ll all be okay in the end. It has to be. If it isn’t, then we’ll know we haven’t reached the end yet. Since the day I came back to you, I’ve tried my hardest not to let you down, but I can’t take back what happened in my past,” I said and chanced a small smile. Valerie looked up, and a small smile quirked her lips upward.
She turned and took my face in her hands, leaned closer, and kissed me slowly, “I know you love me, I love you, too. That doesn’t mean I’ll accept that kind of behavior from you, Flynn,” she stated flatly.
Lee intuitively cut into our conversation. “Excuse me you two, but is this video shoot taking place on this driveway? If not, you need to get your asses on your own seats, and your seatbelts on or you’re going to look like a couple of love-struck teenagers that can’t get out of bed in time for an important event.”
Valerie’s eyes met mine, and she gave me a slow wry smirk, “I’m the boss, Lee. I have to make sure Flynn is on point today.”
Lee smirked into the mirror and cleared his throat, “From the way he was eating your face a few minutes ago, I’m guessing that’s a yes then, boss, I’m guessing something’s pointed anyway.” he chuckled.
I almost choked and coughed as my eyes darted over to the back of Lee’s head. “Very funny, Lee. You’re lucky we’re both in a good mood. Now shut the fuck up and take us there. If we’re late, I’ll blame you as you’re driving,” I said.
Lee lifted one eyebrow and looked surprised, but before he could reply, I smirked wickedly then pretended I was confused by his questioning look. I shrugged in a helpless gesture and asked, “What? You signed up to take a bullet for me, so appearing unreliable for me shouldn’t hurt too much now, should it?”
Even Valerie chuckled at my verbal slap. Lee had proven himself to be an amazingly loyal employee and had, in turn, become one of my most trusted people. The fact we could joke around like that was welcome. He’d been there when I’d needed a friend
.
“I think we should tell everyone this week,” Valerie said, drawing my attention back to her as she stared out the window again.
At first, I thought she meant about Melanie and that situation, and felt my heart skip a beat because I hadn’t even figured out what to tell myself never mind anyone else. We knew little more than what I did when I’d met face-to-face with Melanie.
“Didn’t you want to speak to Kayden first? Do you want us to do that together?”
“Yes I’d like that, but I wasn’t talking about the Melanie mess. I meant about the baby. I’m going to be fifteen weeks on Sunday. I’m starting to show. I think we should do the video shoot, then we’ll tell everyone else. Bernie’s hearing is next week. I don’t want yet another pile of shit to add to the one we’ve already got. Our baby is getting lost in all of this.”
I had to agree. I glanced at Valerie, who continued to stare out the window and wondered how the hell she’d gotten so smart, and so mature, and she was still in her teens. She was perfectly balanced despite everything she’d been through.
“Eat the egg. I don’t care if it’s cold.”
Turning to look at me she looked down at the muffin and picked it up gingerly, unwrapping the napkin. “It is cold,” she complained as she took a bite.
“Good, that’ll teach you to eat when you’re told,” I said and pretended to make light of it.
Ready For Flynn, Part 2 : A Rockstar Romance (The Ready For Flynn) Page 18
