His Perfect Martini: An accidental marriage romance (The Cocktail Girls)

by Angel Devlin

  “Whoa. This place is a bit posh isn’t it?” Jonno said while his head swiveled around taking it all in.

  “Sophisticated, yeah, so they might throw you out.” I laughed. “Come on. Let’s get a drink.”

  Max groaned. “Get me a scotch. Seriously no more beer. I’ll burst.”

  We’d tried so many, and to be honest we were all a little bit wasted, but I wanted to see Mila. I put my phone on and started recording.

  “Here we are in the Little Black Dress Bar at The Millennium Hotel. As you can see all the cocktail waitresses are in their little black dresses.” I span the camera around to catch a few of them at work. “And this one here, who in my opinion looks the best of all is Mila. Say hello, Mila.”

  Mila spotted me and her eyes narrowed. “I’m guessing whatever you got up to today, alcohol was involved?”

  “Could be. So Mila, could I have a slow, comfortable screw?”

  Mila did an over-exaggerated sarcastic mock laugh. “Oh good one, I never heard that before. Actually why don’t you try a Corpse Reviver? I think you need that more.”

  I picked up the cocktail menu off the bar with my other hand. “Hmmmm, nope I think I’ll have a hanky panky, or a bushwacker as I’d like to whack your bush.” I winked suggestively.

  “The bathrooms are that way.” Mila pointed.

  I looked at her in confusion.

  “Sorry, you pulled a face. I thought you were going to be sick.”

  “That was my come to bed face.”

  She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t think it was.”

  “I’ll have any of these: an orgasm, a slippery nipple or a quick fuck.”

  She sighed. “I think you need a coffee, Louis, and to grow up.”

  “You got a problem here, Mila? Only we’re busy so if this jerk’s annoying you I’ll have him thrown out.” A fat, balding bloke had walked up to Mila and put an arm around her while he stared at me menacingly. “And turn that fucking phone off.”

  Mila reached over, grabbed my phone and was switching it off as I shouted, “I’m not a jerk. I’m her husband, so go fuck yourself.”

  The guy turned to Mila, who was rubbing at her forehead.

  “Is this true? I didn’t know you were married.”

  “We got married on Saturday.” I shot back.

  “It’s complicated, Maximo.” She told him. “But yeah if you can have security move him right now so that I can get on with my work, that would be appreciated.”

  “What? Mila. No.”

  “We’ll take him with us. No need for security. Sorry, Mila.” Jonno said. “We’ve been at a beer festival. We’re all a bit merry. Some of us more than the others.” He stared at me pointedly and then took my phone out of Mila’s hand.

  “Appreciated.” Mila said and then she turned away from me.

  “Don’t you turn away from me, Mila Clayton. Mrs Mila Clayton.” I shouted. “Do you hear me wife? Wife?”

  A waitress with silver-blonde hair and freckles whipped around to look at Mila. “Did he just say you were his wife?”

  “Not for much longer.” Mila shouted, and then security came over so I quit being a punk and followed Jonno out of the bar and back to the hotel.

  I turned into a miserable drunk. Only Jonno stayed with me. The other two ditched me and went to gamble, saying that what with Jennifer Lopez and my pussy-whipped state, they were off out to properly enjoy a night in Vegas before it was too late.

  Jonno made me coffee and left me to sleep.

  Wednesday 4 April 2018

  When I woke up I groaned as I remembered what I’d done, and fuck, I’d live-streamed half of it.

  I picked up my phone to watch the playback and saw I had a text.

  Mum: You are in so much trouble when you get home. That is NO WAY to treat a lady. I brought you up better than this! Apologise ASAP to that poor woman. You made a right show of her and a tit of yourself.

  I flung my head back against the pillow. Then I found the stream and pressed play.

  Oh my God. I had seriously fucked up. She was right. I really did need to grow up, and the first thing I needed to do was apologise.

  I scrolled down to Mila’s number and shot off a text.

  Louis: Mila. I am so sorry. Are you at home? I’m coming to see you.

  The reply came shortly after.

  Mila: I think the only thing I need to see is papers for an annulment.

  Louis: Please let me come and apologise.

  Mila: I don’t know.

  Louis: I’d be bringing my penis with me…

  There was a few minutes pause.

  Mila: Okay. Give me an hour.

  I drew up in the cab outside of the apartment block Mila lived in. There was a sign saying Springway over the entrance and I saw the pool straightaway. The place looked like somewhere you’d stay on your holidays, not somewhere to live.

  I found the number of Mila’s place and knocked. I heard footsteps approach and then the door opened. Mila stood there in white shorts and a baggy orange t-shirt, her hair tied up in a messy bun on the top of her head. She didn’t have a scrap of make-up on and to me she looked more gorgeous than she did in her little black dress, or her white dress from our wedding for that matter.

  I leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away.

  “I don’t think so, Louis. We need to talk. Really talk.”

  Shit.

  Following her inside I was directed to the small living room, and I took a seat on her couch.

  “I’m just making coffee. You want one?” She hollered from the hallway.

  “Yeah, please.”

  She brought them in a few minutes later and I felt strangely pleased that she’d remembered how I took it as I took a sip and tasted perfection.

  She exhaled deeply. “Louis. I know your whole persona is based around being a jerk, but you brought that to my work place last night. That job is how I get to stay here, in this apartment. How I get to stay away from my parents. I can’t have you coming in causing shit like that. Do you know how embarrassing it was having to tell my boss I got drunk married?”

  My face scrunched up. “Well, why did you tell him that? Why not just say you got married, end of story? What business of his is it?”

  “It’s his business when I can’t do my job properly and I wasn’t telling him I got married like it was serious because it wasn’t. It was a joke. I was drunk.”

  “But we got on? We had great sex.”

  She laughed. “You’re being ridiculous now. You know this marriage is a sham and we need to end this now. Even though you have the most magnificent cock, I’m facing facts, and that is that in a couple of days you’re going back to the UK and I will be here. Trying to save face over my drunken marriage. Summer heard. It went around the staff. Now they all know what I did Saturday night. I would have liked to have kept it quiet. No one there knew I was Mila Williams, heiress. They don’t read the gossip because Vegas has enough of its own drama. You made me the drama. I’m pissed, Louis, and not in the way you Brits say it—like you were last night. What is it you say? Pissed up? You were out of control and it could have cost me everything.”

  I looked at the floor and then back up. “I’m so sorry, Mila. You are so right with everything. I do need to grow up. It's what I’m supposed to be doing with my channel. Last night I did loads of damage. Not just to you. I hurt my mum—again. And there’s some serious abuse on the comments section on the channel.”

  “I don’t give a crap about your channel, Louis. Who are all these people whose opinions you value so much? You don’t know them. They don’t know you. Is your self-worth so low its based around their opinions, or is your ego so huge you get off on the fact they are following your every move?”

  I flinched at that comment.

  “Yeah, thought so. It’s your ego. Well I’m not impressed with the size of that.”

  “You like the size of something else.”

  “More jokes? Really? Did you look up the ann
ulment?” Mila’s jaw was set, she was steaming angry right now. Even offering my dick to her hadn’t helped. I was in serious trouble.

  I sighed. “Yes. We can fill a form in online for the County Clark family court. It takes about 20 days. Either of us can do it.”

  “Great. Let me get my laptop.” She walked over to the other side of the room and brought a laptop from her dining table.

  This was sad. I knew our marriage was going to end, but I had hoped we’d make it to the end of the week. After this did it mean no more Mila in my life? I wanted to get to know her. Hell, I realised. I wanted to DATE her. In real life. Even though she lived in a different country.

  Shit. I did not want this to end. I started to feel a bit nauseous and my heart started hammering in my chest.

  She powered up the laptop and found the forms we needed and began to fill them in.

  Now I felt like I had a stone lodged in my gut.

  “Right. So the grounds for our annulment are that at the time of the ceremony you were mentally incompetent to make the decision.” She told me.

  I shook my head at her. “That’s not true and it’s on my channel as proof. I knew exactly what I was doing, so you’ll have to be the mad one.”

  She glared at me, hands on her hips. “I am not declaring I was mentally incompetent.”

  “Well, we can’t have an annulment then.” I declared.

  “Fine.” She said. “I’ll just have to look into getting a divorce instead, due to irreconcilable differences or my husband being an A-hole who videos everything. I’m surprised you’re not recording this.” She flicked her hair. She looked adorable. I tried not to smile about the fact she couldn’t get an annulment.

  “So what do we do now then?” I asked.

  “Well, we might as well go to bed.” Mila declared. “But I’ve still not forgiven you, so it’s going to be angry sex. I might even bite you or something.”

  She flounced off in the direction of the bedroom.

  I hoped make-up sex followed the angry sex, but to be honest either was good with me right now. This woman was something else. Like the drink tattooed on her butt, she was the perfect mix of sweet and sour.

  Behind her back a beaming smile broke out over my face.

  I was already screwed before we even went in the bedroom.

  Mila

  April 4th, 2018 - Wednesday

  Falling into bed with Louis was becoming a habit. I should have told him where to go and just let myself be categorized as mentally incompetent, but my family would use it against me if they got hold of that information so no way was that happening. After we’d spent a couple of hours in bed, I packed some belongings as I reluctantly agreed I may as well try to understand Louis’ career as a YouTuber, and he needed to be around his friends. Apparently he was getting a hard time from them, and it wasn’t as much fun as the ‘hard’ time I was getting off him.

  I called Jenny to update her about everything. She was busy with work and just told me she was jealous of all the sex I was getting and that she’d be in touch when she got a minute.

  “Hey, Mila.” Jonno said when I was introduced to them all again.

  “Hey, boys.” I acknowledged them. “So, I took a couple of days vacation to show you Vegas properly before you go home. Are you ready to experience Vegas at its finest?”

  “Ah, man. You mean the helicopter ride don’t you?” Jonno’s shoulders slumped.

  “Hell, no. I think you need to get to know me a little better. Now follow me.”

  I took them to TopGolf where they were pleasantly surprised by being able to play, eat, drink, and listen to the live bands. Then Wednesday night I told them I was taking them to see Cirque de Soleil. I saw them pull faces, but I put my finger to my lips and said “Trust Me”. The show was called Zumanity and a mix between Cabaret and Burlesque. After the show started the guys never took their eyes off the stage, although Louis’ hands kept trying to wander, especially when two women were writhing around in a large fishbowl together.

  “Holy fuck, that was hot. I need to get laid now.” Jonno said, and I laughed.

  “That, I’m not helping with.”

  Me and Louis separated from the rest of them at that point and we returned to his hotel room.

  After satisfying Louis’s urges following the show we chatted. “Your friends seem good people.”

  “Yeah, they’re great guys.”

  “Cam seems quiet.”

  Louis scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Something’s going on with him. Cam’s not usually this quiet. He doesn’t seem himself. He was okay when we first got here. I dunno…” He trailed off.

  I hesitated a moment. “Is it because of me?”

  Louis’ forehead creased as he thought. “I guess you changed the dynamic, but it could be something else. We’re guys, we don’t talk about stuff. I’ll ask him when we get home.”

  “Well, your friends come first, Louis. So I can make my exit if needed.”

  He pulled me back toward him. “You’re going nowhere.”

  April 5th, 2018 - Thursday

  Thursday, I took the guys to a day party at one of the hotels. It all took place around the pool so they swam, drank, and ate. With the guys it was all about their appetites rather than the usual tourist stuff. Louis recorded events everywhere we went, and I saw his interest in capturing his surroundings. It was like he wanted to show people how to enjoy life more rather than record himself. I got more of an understanding of what he was about.

  Thursday night, all I did was smirk when the guys asked me where we were going. As we reached Fremont Street, the light show was in full flow. We stopped and watched the last minute of it.

  “That’s cool. Shame we weren’t here a bit earlier.” Jonno said. “Look at those crazy people up there.” He pointed to the people on wires above us.

  I smiled. “Totally crazy.”

  Then I took them to the Slotzilla to do exactly that.

  “What the fuck is this?” Max asked. “You want me to go up there?”

  “You scared, Max boy?” I giggled. “We’re all going to be harnessed up and when the next light show starts, we’re ziplining the whole way down.”

  “We’re doing what now?” Cam asked. It was one of the rare times he actually spoke directly to me.

  “Get your cameras safely secured guys, because you’re traveling the whole way down the street, high in the air next to the lights.”

  It was a blast. I loved anything that made my adrenaline rise. I was a total adrenaline junkie. The evening made me realize that since my ex had left I’d been hiding away. Meeting Louis had forced me to live life again.

  As I waited for the rest of them to finish, my heart sank as I thought that in just over twenty-four hours time, Louis would be heading back to the UK and this would all be over.

  “Whooooo. That was insane. I loved it. What’s next?” Louis asked.

  “Go-karting. You’re all going to get beaten by a girl. The shame.”

  They didn’t. They were too competitive for that and all played dirty to force me off the track, but I didn’t care. I was having a good time participating and enjoying watching them enjoying themselves. Part of me wished I’d taken Friday off too, but then again, I guessed there was no point postponing the inevitable—that it was all about to end.

  I spent another night in Louis’ arms.

  April 6th, 2018 - Friday

  The next morning I got up early. Louis was still sleeping, and I took care not to disturb him before heading home to shower and change before coming back to the strip and going to work.

  “I cannot believe you got married drunk. After all you said about the customers who do that.” Summer shook her head at me.

  “I know. What can I say? The alcohol here must have love potions in it. I now stand corrected.”

  “So what are you going to do?” She pushed her ash-blonde hair off her face.

  “Well an annulment won’t work, so I guess get divorced.” I broke
off to ask a customer what they wanted to drink.

  “You don’t seem very happy about that?”

  I held a finger up and finished serving my customer.

  “I’m not.” I confessed. “Really, I should be. I should be grateful that the whole mistake will get sorted out eventually, but I just feel sad. I like Louis. A lot. If he lived here, maybe we could have dated? But he doesn’t, so I’m gonna pull up my big girl panties and get on with my life. He has shown me that I’ve been hiding away and not living it, so that’s something.”

  As I got to the end of my shift, I checked my cell again. Louis had kept texting throughout my shift saying I had to come to his as soon as I finished that he was missing me. He didn’t mention the elephant in that hotel room. That he would be packing to go home.

  I left the bar and then heard my name called as I began to walk down the lobby.

  I turned to see Billy, my ex… and my parent’s PR person.

  Oh, did you think he’d left me for another woman? Oh no. My parents took care of him. He could work for them or have his life ruined. They were good like that. Why did you think I hadn’t wanted anything more to do with any of them?

  “Billy. What are you doing here?” I put a hand on my hip.

  “We need to talk.”

  “No we really don’t. I have nothing to say to you at all. Nothing.” I began to walk away.

  “You really fucked up this time.” His voice was mocking in tone.

  I turned back around. “No, I didn’t actually. Louis is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

  “Your parents want you to get the annulment quietly, and for you to come home and take your place as the rightful heiress to the business. It’s time you embraced your responsibilities.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “I’m being paid an exorbitant amount of money to bring you home through any means necessary and I don’t intend to fail, so I’ll just release the video of you giving me head to the press if you don’t go back.”