Mine, All Mine

by Dayna Quince

  Dinner was the only time she saw Dominic, and although the first night was tense and silent, they eventually relaxed in each other’s presence. He did not speak of the past but instead would ask after her day and regale her with his work about the estate. He had a way of making his chores hilariously mundane, making Lilly laugh so hard her sides would hurt. These moments, strangely, were her favorite. It was the only time she felt at ease in his presence, and her senses delighted in his nearness as he sat at the head of the table and she sat to his left.

  There was lightness about him after a long day of work, and his newly tanned skin made his countenance so much warmer than the foreboding and pale demeanor he used to carry. He was beginning to look more human in spirit; the cold intimidation that used to cloak him was now an alluring ruggedness. She always caught herself staring too long or leaning closer to him as he spoke. His humor was infectious, and his smile created flutters in the pit of her stomach that would float up into her throat, making her giggle like she was a girl of ten and six again.

  Out of all the stolen kisses and embraces before he had found out her identity, these moments scared Lilly the most. They felt intimate. They made Lilly feel strange things she wasn’t ready to feel. She felt like a wife.

  After dinner, they would go their separate ways, him to his study and her to the library to select a good book. Most of the time she never read a sentence, just sat and stared at the fire thinking about the man only a few doors away.

  By the seventh day, Lilly had grown quite tired of her routine. More servants had arrived from Dominic’s London residence, bringing more of Lilly’s belongings that she had to abandon when she had escaped her stepfather’s crimes. Lilly was ecstatic; her wardrobe was nearly complete, with the exception of a few of her more luxurious gowns.

  She didn’t have much use for them now, being she would probably never be invited to an elegant affair again after the scandal attached to her name. She was just pleased to have more than the three gowns she had been living with since she had been employed as a servant. Lilly had sheepishly thanked Dominic and the servants, inwardly cringing at their curious glances at her and their lord. Whatever they were thinking, Lilly didn’t care to know, but they were still polite and kind whenever she was near.

  It was a warm afternoon, so Lilly took a stroll through the gardens, forgoing the shade of her bonnet to feel the rays of delicious sunshine on her face. She walked through a charming little wooden gate and unknowingly entered the kitchen gardens.

  “Well, look who it is,” Laura said as she stepped out the kitchen door carrying a bucket of rags.

  Lilly froze, unsure of what to do or say. “Hello, Laura, it’s nice to see you again.”

  “I’m sure it is, but you see, I don’t think I am acquainted with you. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just be on my way.” She turned to walk away.

  “Laura, please, you’ve been the only friend I’ve had in a long time. I still have no one,” Lilly pleaded.

  “That’s hard to believe now that you’re a rich ladybird,” Laura snapped.

  “Don’t be vulgar. I am not anyone’s ladybird, or whatever term is being currently attached to my name. I don’t appreciate rumors being bandied around about me. If you only knew…” Lilly choked on her words and turned her back to Laura. She was shocked when she felt Laura’s comforting arm come around her.

  “Oh love, I knew you were too innocent for this world. Did he force you?”

  “What!” Lilly screeched as she turned to face Laura. “What are you talking about?”

  “Why, Lord Dominic, of course. He’s colder than the very devil. One day you were in the kitchens working, then the next you’re here staying in one of them fancy rooms upstairs. Naturally we all just assumed…”

  “Assumed what?”

  “He forced you to be his mistress.”

  Lilly cringed as her cheeks turned a fiery pink. “It’s nothing like that. In fact, it’s a great deal more complicated.”

  Laura gasped. “Are you pregnant, Millie?”

  “No!” Lilly said before pulling Laura away from the open door of the kitchen. “I really am insulted, Laura. How could you think me so reckless?”

  “Well then, what is it?”

  Lilly sighed, but she didn’t want to lie anymore, least of all to the only friend she had made in the short time she had worked for Lord Redwick. Laura had a good heart.

  “My name isn’t Millie, its Lillian St. James. My father was a duke. I came to Lord Redwick’s manor to hide, but he found me out and now he’s keeping me here.”

  Laura was in utter shock, from the roots of her wispy brown hair to the toes of her black boots. “I don’t know what to say. Do I curtsy?” She moved to dip, but Lilly stopped her.

  “Please don’t, Laura. After the way my own class has treated me, I have redefined my opinion of what it means to be nobility. You were my friend when I had none. I hope you still are,” Lilly said sheepishly.

  “Of course, Lilly. I’m sorry about calling you a ladybird. If Lord Redwick had spirited me away, I probably would have fallen right into bed with him.”

  “Laura! You just said he was a devil.”

  “Ah, but he’s a handsome devil.” Laura winked.

  “You’re terrible, but I forgive you.” Lilly smiled to herself. After all, that very thought had crossed her mind many times, and she often dreamed about doing that very thing.

  “Can I ask you something, Lilly?” Laura asked timidly.

  “Sure.”

  “Why were you hiding?”

  “Well…”

  “It’s all right if you don’t want to tell me, if it’s too hard to talk about.”

  “No, it’s fine. My father died and my mother remarried a merchant named Mr. Hollow. He’s wealthy but very low class—I don’t mean poor or low born, I mean he’s a bastard of the earth, lower than scum. My mother became sick, and eventually I lost her too. I have a cousin who inherited the title, but no one knows where he is. My stepfather was accused of treason, and by association, I became a pariah and had to hide. It was very brutal. Suddenly everyone I knew pretended not to know me. It was as if I had a disease. I had to leave, hide from the scandal and all the people trying to take advantage of it and of me. I escaped with my cook Ellie. She’s the closest to family I have left that I can reach, and I don’t even know where to find her or contact her. She raised me in the kitchens of my parents’ manor. She was there for me when no one else had time to love a little girl.”

  “You don’t have any siblings?

  “No.”

  “I’m sorry, love.” Laura hugged her tightly.

  “It’s all right. I’m discovering I am stronger than I ever thought I was, and there are many people worse off than I am.”

  “That doesn’t mean your troubles don’t hurt just as much.”

  “Thanks, Laura.” Lilly smiled blandly.

  “I have to go, but I’m always around if you need to talk.” Laura hugged Lilly tightly again and then returned to the kitchens.

  Lilly continued to stroll through the seemingly endless garden paths, her brow furrowed in thought. She didn’t hear the footsteps until they were almost upon her. When she looked up, she saw Dominic striding toward her, his attention focused on the piece of foolscap in his hand.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, startling him before he nearly mowed her down.

  “What? Oh—ah—nothing you should concern yourself with.” He stopped just before her and smiled. "An entire earldom and all its tenants have been dropped into my lap. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I have been buried in correspondence since our arrival, and I don’t foresee digging myself out for a few more days.”

  “Oh. Is there anything I can do?”

  “Would you like to be the Earl of Redwick?” Dominic smirked.

  “Come now, haven’t you been trained to handle all this since you were a boy?”

  “Actually no, my elder brother was to inherit, not me.”

/>   “Oh. I’m sorry then. Well, I won’t keep you from your work.”

  “Not even if I beg?”

  “Are you asking me to distract you?”

  “Lilly, you always distract me. I am asking for a reprieve. For one afternoon, I would like to stare at you and not a piece of vellum with scribbles on it.” He smiled charmingly.

  Lilly blushed. He was at his most dangerous when he smiled at her like that. It completely scattered all logical thought and made her want to do wild and reckless things.

  “I don’t know what to say, my lord.” She looked away from his amused eyes. He knew how to toy with her. “I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”

  “All I’m asking for is the pleasure of your company. How about a picnic or a gallop through the hillside or a walk to the summerhouse?”

  “I have not yet been to the summerhouse.” Lilly’s eyes brightened.

  “A picnic in the summer house it is, then. I do feel as if I have neglected you, Lilly. I’m sorry. You are a guest in my home, and I have completely ignored your needs.”

  “Think nothing of it. I have had a wonderful time. It’s been a long time since I have had such peace and quiet, my lord.” Lilly sighed blissfully.

  “My lord?”

  “Dominic.” Lilly giggled. She couldn’t help it. His humor was infectious when he was being so playful.

  His gaze lowered to her mouth and his eyes smoldered. Lilly swallowed her giggles, and they turned to flutters in her stomach. She couldn’t breathe when he looked at her like that. She knew he wanted to kiss her, and her wanton heart wanted him to do it.

  “A picnic then,” she said distractedly. “Shall I meet you here in fifteen minutes? I will need to fetch my shawl.”

  “Of course. I will have Mrs. Fields make a basket for us.”

  Lilly smiled and turned away. She headed straight for the terrace doors and willed herself not to look back. This was a very dangerous game they were playing. Without the watchful eyes of society, good behavior was becoming very difficult, especially when society had already turned its back on her. Lilly was wanting things she had never wanted before, feeling things she had never felt, and her heart was willing to indulge some of those feelings.

  This was too dangerous. They needed distance from each other, not a picnic in the summerhouse. She would just have to find a way out of it. Lilly hated being such a coward, but as she sat at her room’s escritoire and penned the note, she couldn’t see any other option. She summoned Jenny, and when the soft knock came, she admitted her.

  “Please give this note to Lord Redwick. I have a headache and will not be able to enjoy a picnic in the summerhouse in his company.”

  “Yes, my lady.” Jenny quickly left on her errand.

  Lilly curled up on her bed after changing into her dressing gown. If she was going to claim a headache from the sun, she might as well act the part.

  Chapter 12

  Even for such a large manor, the walls were beginning to chafe. She had been able to doze for a half hour, but then the sight of her four bedroom walls began to gnaw at her patience. Dominic had sent word that her note was fortuitous, for in fact an urgent matter had arisen with a tenant, and she should rest from her malady. Thinking him away from the manor for the rest of the afternoon, Lilly decided a good, long ride was in order and entered the stables clad in her dove-gray velvet riding habit and cloak. Lilly had been spending her time with a timid yet spirited mare named Bella, who had a beautiful chestnut coat and mane. Bella snorted and pawed anxiously when Lilly entered, and only settled down when Lilly rubbed her nose and softly sang to her.

  “She likes you,” Dominic said, stepping out of the shadows with a harness slung over his shoulder. Startled, Lilly nearly jumped out of her skin before turning to glare at him.

  “I thought you were gone?”

  “The matter was handled quickly. Have you done much riding?”

  “We have an understanding. She doesn’t throw me, and I give her all the sliced apples she could ever want.” Lilly lovingly stroked Bella’s neck.

  “Ah, bribery. If only that would work with all females.” He smiled arrogantly.

  “Only a man would say such a thing.”

  Bella nickered at Dominic, and he stepped closer to rub her nose.

  “She certainly likes you too—or do all females simply fall at your feet?” Lilly said.

  “I give her sugar lumps.” Dominic smiled boyishly.

  It was one of those unguarded, youthful smiles that so rarely occurred and turned Lilly’s knees to water. “Would you like to join me for a ride?” Lilly caught herself asking before she could stop herself.

  “I would be honored, Lilly, and I know Magnus will be very grateful.”

  “Magnus?”

  At the mention of his name, there was a loud whinny and a kick a few stalls away. The kick was forceful enough to make the walls around them shake.

  “Oh my goodness, is that a horse?”

  “Sometimes he thinks he’s a prize bull,” Dominic responded dryly.

  Lilly walked down to the stall and stared in awe at the massive beast. He was black as midnight and sculpted in heavy muscle. “He’s enormous!” she exclaimed as Dominic came up beside her.

  The horse snorted and pawed the ground, anxious to be out of his stall now that his master had come. “He’s not so bad. He just hasn’t been ridden yet today, so he has a lot of energy to burn.”

  “I’ll say.” Lilly jumped back as the horse noisily nudged the stall door.

  “Why don’t you have Duncan saddle Bella while I take care of him?” Dominic suggested.

  Lilly needed no excuse to hastily head away from the raucous horse. She much preferred dainty and spirited Bella to such a powerful and robust creature.

  Dominic met Lilly outside the stables, and they rode to the manor drive. Once outside the gate they galloped down the lane, letting the horses have their heads. They slowed to an easy trot as they came upon a meadow rioting with wild flowers. Outside of London, spring was in full bloom, and blankets of wildflowers undulated gently in the early afternoon breeze.

  “Has your headache subsided?”

  “Yes, thank you, a little rest did the trick. It’s lovely out here!” Lilly sighed, spreading her arms and lifting her face to the sun.

  “Did you not spend much time in the country?” Dominic asked.

  “Mother thought it uncivilized to live so close to nature.”

  “Even in winter?”

  “Especially in winter.” Lilly looked up into the sky and smiled with joy.

  “The air in London is awful in winter; all that coal dust must have made you ill.” Dominic said with concern.

  “No, I spent most of my childhood in the nursery, never outside, but maybe…” Lilly looked into the sky again and closed her eyes against the brightness. Her expression was sad but thoughtful. “Maybe that’s why my mother died.” She met Dominic’s gaze.

  “They never told you?” he asked softly.

  “No, and I wasn’t allowed to see her for fear the illness was contagious.”

  There was a long silence. The emotional conversation hung over them like a dark cloud.

  “There are a lot of questions I need to ask you, Lilly.”

  “I know, but it’s painful to talk about the past. I have nothing to hide, it just hurts.”

  “I understand.”

  Their eyes held. Dominic’s searching for answers, hers looking for reassurance, a sign she could trust this man with her emotions…with her heart. The soft rumble of a carriage in the distance broke the spell. It was coming toward them, the only lane leading to the manor.

  “Are you expecting someone?” Lilly asked.

  “No, the only person who would seek me here is… Get behind those trees, Lilly, and stay out of sight.”

  “What, why?”

  “Just do as I say.”

  Lilly quickly rode behind a small stand of trees and hid herself and Bella just as the carriage
came into view. She couldn’t see the crest, but it was definitely a member of the aristocracy. It slowed as Dominic hailed it and came to a stop. He was speaking to the coachmen, but Lilly couldn’t hear what was being said. Suddenly, the carriage door slammed open and a very angry gentleman stormed out.

  Chance.

  Lilly cringed with guilt. She had been so distracted by Dominic and her abduction from London that she had completely forgotten Chance and his promise to rescue her the day she left London with Dominic. He was such a good friend and very furious by the looks of it. He angrily strode to Dominic as he was dismounting from Magnus. Chance’s words were a far sight louder than Dominic’s, and Lilly could easily hear him.

  “What have you done with her? If you touched one hair on her head, I will call you out!” Chance bellowed.

  “Whoa, Chance, she’s fine,” Dominic said calmly.

  “Then where is she?”

  As if on cue, Lilly rode out from behind the trees. “I’m right here, Chance, see? I’m fine.” She held her arms open. “Completely hale and whole, with nary a scratch.”

  Chance snorted and looked back toward Dominic. “Hale and whole, Dom?” he said.

  “Yes, Chance.” He eyed his friend angrily. “I would never hurt a woman, least of all a lady of peerage.” Dominic stressed the last two words. “I should flay your hide for letting her traipse around my kitchen in disguise.”

  Chance flushed guiltily. “I was handling it.”

  “Apparently not soon enough.”

  “What do you mea—”

  “Enough!” Lilly shouted over their bickering and dismounted, throwing them both a glare when neither stepped forward to assist her. “If you two are done bickering like children, we can proceed to the manor before we get drenched with rain.”

  Both men looked up, surprised by the darkening clouds overhead.

  “April showers bri—”

  “Funny, Lil.” Chance said. “Lilly, in the carriage with me. Dom will take the horses.”